Lost In The Echo
by Vlaatjee
Summary: Continues the storyline of Breaking The Habit. After that horrible day, the mice are trying to get back on their feet again. But that ain't easy. Completely crippled by these events, they are close to losing hope. But Stoker ain't ready to give up yet and gives them a mission that's gonna change everything.
1. Chapter 1

You guys…

Thank you so much for your kind words on my latest chapter of Breaking The Habit.  
No words can describe how much it means to me.  
How much it means that I even inspired someone to write its own story.  
Can't wait to read it, Butterfly Souls!  
And to read that most of ya are gonna join me in this new adventure, this new ride, well…  
A massive thanks for all of you guys.

So, here's the first chapter of Lost In The Echo.  
Yes, it's short. It's more like a prologue, actually.  
The next chapters will be longer, about the same length you guys are used to.

I do not own the Biker Mice From Mars.  
However, I do own Kiwi, Flash, Jax and Neo. And all the other characters that will pop up in this story that aren't part of the original serie.  
Please, don't use them without asking me. I'm kinda attached to them.

Enjoy! ^^

* * *

**Chapter 1**

_And so it begins…_

Vinnie was hanging in a chair in the Main Hall, playing with his food.  
Ever since that day, his normally insatiable appetite was vanished into thin air.  
Of course he ate. Sometimes. But it always tasted the same.  
Like blood.  
"You've gotta eat, Vincent."  
Throttle, who was sitting at his right, pointed at the still full plate in front of the white furred mouse.  
But Vinnie only shrugged.  
Modo, who was sitting at his left, sighed and took Vinnie's plate.  
"Like my old gray furred momma used to say; never throw any food away, certainly not when you're blessed enough to have food on your table every day", and he took a bite of Vinnie's portion.  
Vinnie rolled his eyes, but still said nothing. He simply didn't have the energy for it.  
Throttle was thinking hard about what to say to motivate his younger bro to eat, to talk, to do… anything else than being this depressed, when Stoker suddenly popped up next to him.  
"Meeting time, rookies. Carbine's room. Now."  
Modo and Throttle got on their feet, but Vinnie still didn't move.  
"Didn't ya hear me, punk? Meeting time. _Now_."  
Vinnie finally turned his gaze on Stoker, his face completely blank.  
"I heard ya. But I'm not really in the mood for a meeting right now. Not ever."  
Stoker sighed, trying to keep his patience.  
He could hardly blame the young mouse for being like this, but it was sometimes difficult to deal with.  
"You act like it was a question. It wasn't. So get off your lazy ass and that's an order."  
Vinnie sighed heavily, but slowly rose on his feet and followed them.

Normally, he would've been curious, all hyped up because most of the time, a meeting meant the beginning of a new mission.  
But honestly? He couldn't care less. He didn't care about anything anymore, actually. Nothing could make him happy anymore.  
Not the prospect to a mission.  
Not food.  
Not even a ride on his beloved red racer.  
His bike was still standing in the garage, at the same spot where he had left her that day.  
The beautiful red paint still covered with Mireya's blood.  
He hadn't even touched her. Didn't even look at her.  
Kiwi was the only one who was able to trigger some of his feelings. But it was all shallow.  
Nothing more but a small spark.  
He was still hurt because she'd lied to him.  
But it was nothing compared to the pain that came with the loss of his sister.  
It all seemed so small all of a sudden.  
He simply didn't have enough room to feel anything else than the pain that was caused by her loss.  
Besides… He needed Kiwi. Now more than ever.

His hand reached to his ear and he felt the soothing feeling of her black diamond earring.  
A few days after saying his final goodbye to Mireya, Amira had pushed the earring in his hand when she walked by.  
"I think this belongs to you", she'd whispered in his ear and before he could blink, she was already gone.  
He had immediately put back the earring in his ear, promising to himself to never take it out ever again.  
He sighed. But what was the point? He was probably gonna lose her too, one day. It was as if he didn't deserve to be happy.

Once in Carbine's room, he dropped on a seat. He noticed that Kiwi was already sitting at the table, so was Carbine.  
After giving Kiwi a small smile, he lowered his gaze again.  
Kiwi bit her lower lip to stop the sigh that was about to escape her mouth. But she said nothing and waited till Stoker was gonna tell them why they were here.  
When everybody was settled, Stoker looked around the table.  
"I know that everybody is devastated because of what happened now weeks ago. And I wish I could give ya all the time you deserve to mourn, to process everything. But I can't. We're still caught up in this war, the Plutarkians are still out there, along with the rats and the Sand Raiders. And so are many of our people."  
Throttle, Modo and Kiwi looked up surprised.  
"The fact that Limburger was able to find a mouse who was missing for ten years, who was presumed dead, made one thing very clear to me. She can't be the only one. There must be more out there. And we're gonna find them. By all means."  
Throttle rubbed his chin.  
"What's on your mind, Stoke?"  
"We're gonna search every corner, every cave, every inch from this planet for those who deserve to ride free. And while we're at it, we'll take down the ones who are in our way."  
"What do ya mean, take down?", Modo asked.  
"From this day, we're gonna do everything that's necessary to get back what's ours. And with everything, I mean… _everything. _From now on, you guys have my permission to shoot to kill."  
That took Vinnie's attention.  
"Shoot to kill? So, you're saying that if I run into Limburger, I'm free to plant a fucking bullet between his eyes?", he asked, his voice still toneless.  
"Only when he's giving ya trouble. Let me be clear; you guys only use this as last resource, ya hear me? I don't wanna turn ya into cold blooded killing machines. But the time to play soft is over. We're not gonna win this war by playing the good guy, not anymore. This war has costed us too much. We've lost too many loved ones. Our whole planet is destroyed."  
Vinnie slumped back in his seat again.

The rest took some time to process all this.  
"I'm with ya, coach. I mean, taking away Rimfire was the final straw, alright. It's time for some payback."  
Modo usually wasn't one who needed payback to deal with his emotions.  
But this time, it was different. This time, it was personal.  
Real personal.  
Throttle let out his breath.  
"I dunno, coach… I mean, some of us are already uhm… suffering from side effects of this war. I'm not sure if killing people adding to their list is gonna help them…", and he glanced at Vinnie. But the white furred mouse didn't respond.  
"I understand what you're trying to say. I'll leave it up to you guys. Only pull that trigger as last resource and only when you're okay with it. We don't wanna turn ourselves into the same monsters that our enemies already are. But you can't ignore the fact that if we weren't always so desperate to play the good guy, some things might have gone differently…"  
Throttle squeezed the bridge of his nose, knowing that Stoker was right.  
He didn't agree, but this wasn't about him. This was about the faith of Mars and her people.  
Their people.  
"Okay. But _only_ as last resource."  
"Of course", Stoker agreed.  
Kiwi sighed.  
"Well, I'm with ya. I've always admired how you guys handle things, trying to spare as many lives as possible. But the enemy is leaving you without options right now. So, I agree it's time to hit them back. Hard."  
"They kinda force us to it…", Carbine murmured.  
"I know, right."

Everybody looked at Vinnie, who was still hanging on his seat, staring into space.  
Throttle sighed.  
"Vincent?"  
The white furred mouse woke outta his trance.  
"Huh, what? Oh. Yeah. Whatever."  
There was a silence for a moment, everybody shared worried looks.  
Even Carbine had to admit; she kinda missed the big mouth of that adrenaline mouse.  
This just wasn't like him. At all.  
Stoker decided to continue. Fixing Vinnie needed more than just one meeting.  
"Ahum, anyway… This mission is just for the three of ya, rookies. I only trust you with this, nobody else. Know that you guys are gonna be away a lot, sometimes even for months. Mars is big. The rest of the Fighters stays behind to hold the fort. Kiwi here is gonna be your eyes and ears, leading this mission from Braavos with help from Neo, Jax and Flash."  
Kiwi's head jerked up.  
"Leading? But I thought you told me that Neo was the one in charge!"  
"Not with this mission. The guys trust ya with their lives. They need someone they can rely on, no matter what."  
Kiwi's eyes flashed to Vinnie for a second.  
How ironic.  
But her macho mouse wasn't listening, he was just staring outta the window.  
"Eh, okay…"  
"You're ready, beautiful. Trust me."  
Kiw nodded, still having second thoughts, but decided to keep them for herself for now.

Stoker looked at Throttle, the serious look on his face gave away the importance of this mission.  
"Before I'll give further instructions… Throttle, do you accept this mission?"  
Throttle looked at Carbine, who gave him a sad smile.  
"Don't look at me, stranger. This is your decision and yours alone. You know that I'll be here, waiting. I ain't going anywhere."  
Throttle gave her a smile back and looked back to Stoker.  
"Yeah, I accept."  
Stoker turned his gaze on Modo.  
"Modo my mouse, do you accept this mission?"  
"Sir, yes, sir", Modo nodded and saluted.  
Then, Stoker looked at Vinnie.  
"What about you, punk? Do you accept this mission?"  
Vinnie shrugged.  
"Yeah, sure, whatever. It's not like I have anything better to do…"

Stoker was about to give the young mouse a huge scolding, suddenly losing his patience because of this introvert attitude, but Throttle stopped him by laying a hand on his shoulder.  
"Just let it go for now, Stoke. I've got me a feeling deep down that this mission is exactly what he needs right now", he whispered.  
The brown furred mouse let out his breath, realizing Throttle could be right.  
But dammit, he just wanted to grab the young mouse by the shoulders and shake him roughly until he would find his spirit again.  
It broke his heart to see the usually cheerful, happy note of the group being this down.  
But this was something he couldn't fix. Only Vinnie himself.  
And maybe, just maybe, this mission was gonna help him to clear the head a little.

"So ehm… Does this mission have a name?", Kiwi wondered out loud, breaking the uncomfortable silence.  
Stoker slowly rose on his feet, looking around the group with a solemn look on his face.  
"Oh yeah, it sure does. I call it; _Lost In The Echo_."

* * *

And so it begins…

Please, feel free to leave a review, always very much appreciated.  
Later dudes!


	2. Chapter 2

Hey you guys…

Thanks you so much for the reviews. Very much appreciated.  
And so happy you guys are still with me, awesome.

Well, next chapter.  
Enjoy! ^^

* * *

**Chapter 2**

_Phase one; preparation.._

Kiwi was rubbing her chin while looking at the drone. She'd found it on one of the top shelves of the dusty cupboard in Braavos.  
And it had given her an idea.  
Stoker wanted her to lead this mission, wanted her to be the guy's eyes and ears out there.  
But that seemed mission impossible since she wasn't coming along.  
Mission impossible without having _actual_ eyes and ears out there.  
But it seemed she was looking at the solution as we speak.  
Neo popped up next to her, curious where she was staring at for like, ten minutes now.  
"What do ya want with that old piece of crap?", he asked when he saw the drone.  
"Old? Crap? Honestly, if you think this is an old piece of technology, you should visit Earth someday", Kiwi replied absently, still rubbing her chin.  
"Yeah, well, that was on my bucket list, but guess Limburger fucked that one up too", Neo sighed. "Anyway, it seems to me that you've got a plan. Care to share it?"

Luckily, Neo had giving no signs of disagreement whatsoever when Stoker had told him that it was Kiwi who would be leading this mission. He even congratulated her, and told her that he was gonna be there for her, stand by her side to help her with her first mission.  
Jax and Flash immediately had joked that they didn't take orders from a woman, but of course, that was just a load of bullshit.  
They supported her, no matter what.  
Kiwi was happy she had this job.  
Happy to have friends. Happy with this distraction.  
Because the whole situation with Vinnie slowly started to become pressing.  
Two months.  
Two months had passed after that horrible day. And nothing had changed.  
Nothing that showed that time was slowly starting to heal his wounds.  
He was depressed as fuck, and nothing, absolutely nothing, could snap him outta of it.  
Not even her.

It wasn't that he pushed her away.  
Or that he pretended to be okay.  
Or that he was angry all the time.  
I mean, that was his usual way of dealing with things. The way she was familiar with.  
But this time, it was different.  
Oh, it was different, alright.  
He was a zombie. Flat. Numb.  
And that made her feel so powerless. The anger wasn't exactly a party either, but that was something she could handle.  
This… this was different.  
Kiwi wanted to help him so badly. But she didn't get through to him.  
And it was starting to make her completely desperate.  
So, being in Braavos to prepare mission Lost In The Echo (LITE), was just the distraction she needed.  
And the company of her three male, furry friends / college's was a nice addition.

"... Mars to Kiwi…"  
Kiwi's head jerked up, blinking a few times.  
"Oh right, sorry, I zoomed out. You were saying?"  
"I asked if you wanted to tell me what your plan with this thing is", Neo answered patiently, knowing that the human girl had a lot on her mind right now.  
"Right. I was thinking, if we upgrade it with solar panels for power, a microphone, a camera with night vision, a GPS tracker and connect it with a sensor, we may be looking at our eyes and ears for this mission as we speak", she mused.  
Neo rubbed his chin.  
"I like that. I really do. Smart thinking. So, we connect the sensor at one of the bikes, and the drone follows them everywhere they go…"  
"Yes! And while we're at it, we need to connect the device with our server, so we can also control it from here. Ya know, to use it as a explorer, some sort of scout, for if the guys need a heads up. Like when they need to go inside uhm… a cave! So we can secure the place for them!", Kiwi continued, waving her hands with enthusiasm now.  
This was exactly what they needed.  
She looked at Neo, a small smile curled her lips. It felt good. She didn't smile so often lately. There wasn't exactly a reason to.  
But she finally felt a little spark inside. She just loved this job.  
"So, you still think this is just a old piece of crap?", she asked, winking.  
"Forget what I've said. This is brilliant, Kiwi. So, ready to pimp this thing?"  
"Hell yeah. Let's do this."

"This is the Fragaria Vesca, a plant that's able to survive and even grow without water. It only needs sunlight and you guys already know the taste, since we use this plant for our meals", Amira explained, showing them a greenhouse full with plants in the back of the courtyard.  
Modo and Throttle nodded, taking a closer look.  
Amira pointed at one of the leafs.  
"The leafs have this characteristic shape of a lightning, you see? That's how you're gonna be able to recognize it out there."  
"But Amira ma'am, isn't Mars completely uhm… dead?", Modo asked confused.  
"Not completely. There are still a few plants who managed to survive. The Fragaria Vesca is one of them. And it's the only plant that's edible, remember that."  
The two male's nodded, and Amira supressed a smile.  
She couldn't help it to see a resemblance with two goody-goody schoolboys, eagerly listening to every word the teacher had to say.  
Two very buff, good and badass looking schoolboys, that is.  
"Anyway, I've made a whole stock with so called protein bars with this plant as its main ingredient. They carry enough nutrients that even you guys can live on one bar for a few hours at least. Also, I used the juice from its leafs to make drinks and added a few salts and minerals to make sure that your moisture content stays up to standard."

Modo was listening to her with awe, very impressed by her knowledge.  
She really was something, alright.  
"Good job, Amira", Throttle praised her.  
A faint blush appeared on her cheeks.  
"Just doing my job to make sure you'll be able to survive out there."  
She quickly continued, since being praised was always making her feel uncomfortable.  
"Remember; this plant is the _only_ one that's edible out there, okay? I just can't say it enough, because the rest of the plants you'll find, are high leveled toxic. If you eat only so much of a seed, you're dead. I'm telling you this because if you guys are gonna be out there for a long time, the moment will come that you're running low in supply. And then it's up to you to find the plant and use it to survive. You guys got that?"  
Modo and Throttle shared a look.  
"Ah well, just another day at the office, right, big fella?", the tan furred mouse smiled.  
"So true, so true. Leafs in the shape of a lighting is green. The rest; red. Can't be that hard to remember…", Modo agreed while rubbing his chin.  
"Good. I'll make sure you guys have enough for at least a month. Guess that'll be a good start."  
Modo gently rubbed her cheek with his metal hand.  
"You're the best, darling. Glad to have you aboard."  
Amira lay her hand on his for a moment.  
"Yeah well… Anything to help you coming back home safely…"

Throttle watched them with amusement. They really made a good couple.  
And he was happy that the big fella finally had found someone. It was the least he deserved after mourning for so long.  
He deserved a little happiness in his life and it was obvious the big guy was happy when she was around.  
The loss of Rimfire had almost broken the gray furred giant, but it was Amira who'd managed to get him back on his feet.  
He was still in pain, but at least he was able to see through the darkness when she was around him.  
Throttle's smile faded. If only that could be true for all of them.  
Especially for a certain, white furred mouse.

Everybody on the base was busy with preparing mission LITE. Everyone, except Vinnie.  
The white furred mouse was lying listless on his bed, throwing a baseball that he took with him from Earth in the air.  
He was supposed to prepare the bikes as instructed by Stoker, since he was kinda the mechanic of the group.  
He was trying to get himself into movement for hours now, but no luck so far.  
Usually, he would've been excited about the upcoming mission, seeing it as a challenge to upgrade the bikes with as many weapons as possible.  
I mean, he was the master of disaster, after all.  
But not now.  
It all seemed so... pointless. Useless.  
So, he just lay there, throwing and catching the baseball, over and over again.  
Like a robot.  
Because that's what he was since that awful day.  
A robot. A zombie.  
A shadow of the mouse he once was.  
And there was nothing, absolutely nothing, that could snap him outta it.  
There was only darkness.

Throttle and Modo walked past the garage when Stoker suddenly rushed through the door, bumping into Throttle.  
"Wow, wow, Stoke, watch it, man!", Throttle called out when he almost tripped over the metal tail. The hard material slammed against his knee and the tan furred mouse clenched his teeth in pain and annoyance.  
"Whoops, sorry, rookie.", Stoker replied, but not with his usual cheerful voice. "Where's the punk?"  
"He ain't in the garage?", Modo asked, his one eye narrowed.  
Stoker looked up at the big fella, his brown eyes fuming.  
"I just came back from the garage…"  
"Really? Didn't notice..", Throttle muttered under his breath, rubbing his knee.  
"... where I was _supposed_ to find the punk working on the bikes. But all I found were the bikes at the exact same spot, _untouched_. One of them still covered in blood, for fuck sake!"  
"Calm down, Stoke. You know why…", Throttle started, but Stoker cut him off.  
"Oh yeah, I know why he's acting the way he is. But it's time he's gonna grab himself together. And I was just about to tell him that. So, if you'll excuse me…", and the brown furred mouse turned around and marched away.  
"Stoker, wait!", and Throttle followed him.  
"Come on, you can't just march in our room and yell at him…", but Stoker didn't stop.  
"Oh no? Watch me."  
"He's in pain, coach…", Modo added.  
"I know. And he has every right to be. But the Fighters need him. Our people need him. Most of all; _you_ need him. And enough is just enough."  
"But…", Throttle tried, but it was too late.  
Stoker kicked open the door from their room and stormed inside.  
"He may be a few years older now, he sure hasn't lost his temper…", Modo mumbled.  
Throttle threw his hands in the air in frustration and followed Stoker inside.

Vinnie was lying on his bed, playing with his baseball. He didn't even look up.  
Stoker stopped next to his bed and snatched the ball outta his hands.  
"Aren't you supposed to be somewhere, _punk_?"  
The white furred mouse looked at him, his face blank.  
That made Stoker even more furious.  
"You were supposed to upgrade the bikes. Then why are you still here?"  
"The day is not over, oldtimer. Still got plenty of time…", Vinnie answered flatly.  
Stoker had it. He grabbed Vinnie by his arm and dragged him off the bed.  
"I'm about had it with ya, punk. I know you're in pain, I know you're upset, but it's time to snap outta it. What do ya expect to achieve with this attitude, huh? The war ain't over. You're one of our best soldiers. Your bro's need to know if they can rely on ya. So, can they?", he yelled, while pushing his youngest student away, giving him no other choice but to stand on his own feet.  
Vinnie just stood there, staring at his feet.  
Throttle and Modo shared a look and Throttle wanted to stand up for his younger bro, to let him know it was okay that he wasn't okay.  
But Stoker had other plans.  
"You think this is what Mireya would've wanted? If ya can't grab yourself together for _yourself_, then at least try it for _her_. That's the least... ", but Vinnie's head already jerked up, giving Stoker a warning look. Throttle did the same, but Stoker continued.  
"... that's the least ya can do for her after what happened..."

He might as well have dropped a bomb.  
Vinnie stared at Stoker, but the brown furred mouse didn't burge.  
He studied the face of the white furred mouse, and saw a hint of something which he hoped to see.  
Anger.  
Suddenly, Vinnie clenched his fist and punched Stoker in the face.  
Hard.  
The coach stumbled back, rubbing his jaw. But his eyes were twinkling.  
"You have no right to tell me what she would've wanted, you didn't even _know_ her. So, never, _ever_, say that again, you've got that?", the white furred mouse threatened between clenched teeth, while poking his finger in Stoker's chest.  
"Loud and clear, punk. Now, go do your goddamn job."  
Vinnie let out his breath and with that, his face got blank again.  
"Whatever", and he trudget outta the room.  
"Stoker, I respect ya and you know it, but this…". Throttle started, but Stoker only smiled.  
"Didn't ya see? It's still in there. I just needed to lure it out."  
"What are ya talking about, coach?", Modo asked confused, scratching his neck.  
"His anger. His attitude. His _fire_. It's still in there, maybe well hidden, but it's there. That's good news, mudpuppies. That means there's still hope for him. Now, I've got a meeting with Carbine, so see you guys later", and he walked outta the room without waiting for respond.  
Modo and Throttle followed him with their eyes.  
"I maybe question his methods, but I've gotta admit; he's got a point…", Modo finally managed to bring out.  
"I guess you're right, big fella…", Throttle nodded.  
Maybe there was still hope that one day, Vinnie was gonna be okay.  
Maybe…

Modo was nervous. Real nervous.  
The gray furred giant could drive into battles, ride his bike on full speed, eat Vinnie's cooking and fight the enemy without blinking.  
Maybe even all at the same time. But this… This made him nervous.  
He stared at the earring in his hand, the blue diamond sparkled in the light of the room he shared with his bro's.  
Since preparations were almost finished, he knew he was running outta time.  
Because tomorrow, it was D-day. Tomorrow, they were gonna ride out and start mission LITE.  
And he had no idea how long he would be gone.  
Tonight.  
Tonight was the night.  
His heart was racing in his chest, his hands were sweaty, well, one hand was.  
Oh momma, this was twice as hard as fighting a war, alright.  
That wasn't completely true, of course. The war was devastating. It had taken away too much.  
So, it was important to focus on the small things that made you happy, even if you were living in a war, even if you were surrounded by sorrow and death almost every day.  
And Amira made him happy.  
He already knew that she was the one that day in the courtyard. That day when Rimfire told him he got promoted. And the way she had supported him after losing Rimfire only had confirmed that feeling. Because he would never have been able to get back on his feet if it wasn't for her. Without her, he was probably still completely broken. Completely lost.  
A little like Vinnie, maybe.  
His heart was still in pain, the sadness still giving pressure on his chest. But Amira was his rock. And it was time to make things official.  
Because he loved her.  
With his damaged and painful heart, he loved her.  
The earring belonged to Cami, once. He'd kept it in a little box with personal belongings, the only things he actually owned.  
And he had always kept it with the unspoken promise that no one would ever deserve to wear it.  
No one else, but Cami.  
But he was about to break that promise now.  
Because if one thing was for sure; Amira deserved to wear it.

Modo cleared his throat and knocked on her door. He used his metal hand, because on his way over here he'd noticed his other was shaking.  
_Shaking._  
Could you believe that?  
Oh momma, he felt like a teenager in love. But no matter how old you were, love was the one thing that could make everyone feel insecure.  
The door slowly opened and he looked straight into Amira's beautiful brown eyes, who immediately lit up when she saw him.  
"Hey you! Come in!", and she stepped aside to let him pass.  
Modo took a deep breath and walked inside the room, trying to leave his nerves outside.  
But of course, that failed. Big time.  
Oh momma...  
"You okay, Modo? You look a little pale under the fur, hun", Amira asked while studying his face.  
Here.  
Goes.  
Nothing.  
"Ahum, I uh… Well, yeah, I'm okay, more than okay, actually, because I uh… I wanted… I guess… Uhm… I wanted to ask you something, darling", the gray furred giant stuttered, suddenly angry at himself that he hadn't prepared himself a little bit better for this moment.  
Oh momma, he just rushed into this situation like Vinnie on a battlefield, alright. Talk about a stupid move.  
But he was here. So, time to make the most of it.  
"Well, ya know tomorrow it's time for us to leave and I… Well, before I go, I wanna tell ya how much ya mean to me… How grateful I am for what ya did for me after I lost Rimfire… That I wasn't able to get back on my feet without your support. I love ya, Amira ma'am. In this short matter of time, you became very important to me. That leaves me with only one question; Amira Esajas, will you marry me?"

It wasn't how he'd pictured it.  
He saw her eyes grew big, her mouth fell open and she could only stare at him for a while.  
Nope, it wasn't how he'd pictured it, at all.  
It was even better.  
A smile slowly curled her lips, her brown eyes twinkling.  
"Yes! Yes, I wanna marry you, Modo Maverick. I love you too, I've started loving you from the moment I laid my eyes on you, that day we met on Earth. You have no idea how much this means to me…"  
Modo felt how his body finally completely relaxed and he took the box with the earring outta his pocket, this time with his flesh hand.  
He wasn't shaking anymore.  
Gently, he tucked her hair behind her big right ear and replaced her own earring with his one.  
She did the same by him, standing on her toes. Modo smiled and bend the knee a little, so she could reach his ear.  
When she was done, he wrapped his arms around her and looked down on her with pride.  
"It looks good on ya, darling", he smiled.  
Amira could only sigh and smile back.  
This was official the best day of her life.  
And all the pain, the losses, the grieve, the misery… it all disappeared for now.  
Now, it was only him and her.  
Her and him.  
He kissed her, gentle as the gentleman he was. She kissed him back eagerly, already starting to undress him.  
The gray furred giant lifted her and lay her on the bed and they made love.  
Gentle.  
Fulfilled with promises.  
Promises for the future.  
And Modo finally felt whole again after feeling broken such a long time.

Kiwi was looking at the white furred mouse that was lying on her bed, staring at the ceiling. She'd almost tried everything to get through to him, but no luck so far. And tomorrow, he was gonna leave on this mission and she wasn't gonna see him for god only knows how long.  
After meeting the mice, she'd soon learned that worrying about them was a big part of living in a war.  
Everytime they went out there, all she could do was stay behind and hope that she was ever gonna see them again.  
With Vinnie in this state, staying behind was even harder. Because she had no idea if he was gonna be able to focus on his job.  
To keep him and his bro's alive. To come back home safely.  
He hadn't touched her. Ever since that horrible day, he hadn't touched her.  
And she needed him. So badly.  
Because sometimes, she caught herself on the thought that Vinnie seemed to forget that he wasn't the only one in pain.  
Because he wasn't.  
And she needed him to be there for her. So she could be there for him.  
It's a circle. The circle of love.

She slowly walked towards her bed, taking out her clothes in the process. When she stopped in front of the bed, she was completely naked.  
Vinnie moved his gaze from the ceiling to her, but nothing happened. His eyes locked with hers, but still no spark.  
Nothing.  
But Kiwi wasn't one who gave up easily.  
So, she slowly crawled on top of him and started to undress him.  
He didn't stop her. He also didn't encourage her.  
He did what almost become his new trademark… nothing.  
She gently lay her hands against his cheeks, kissing him on the top of his nose. He closed his eyes while feeling her touch.  
She started to plant small kisses everywhere.  
On his nose. His cheeks. His neck. His chest. His stomach.  
She could feel how his body slowly relaxed. Even if he acted down, his body was the complete opposite, his muscles tensed twenty four seven.  
And when she took him in her mouth, finally something happened.

He breathed in sharply and his hands grabbed her head, his fingers weaved into her hair.  
And Kiwi fighted the urge to jump off the bed and do a small victory dance.  
He suddenly pulled her in his arms, and in one movement, she was lying under him. After letting out her breath, she looked into his eyes.  
There it was. It was small. It wasn't like it used to be. But it was there.  
A small spark.  
He slowly made his way inside of her and Kiwi let out a soft moan.  
While moving almost painfully slow, he leaned forward.  
"Sweetheart…", he whispered in her ear, his voice lower than the past few weeks.  
It was enough to make Kiwi almost melt like snow in the sun. Well, so to speak, of course.  
His warm breath against her neck, against her ear, his movements, his hands still weaved in her hair…  
She finally felt a little connection between them again, for the first time since that day in the chapel.  
"I love you, you stupid mouse… Come back to me… I need you...", she gasped, her eyes closed.  
Vinnie suddenly moved up the pace and Kiwi couldn't stop herself any longer. The wave of pleasure washed her away and shortly after that, Vinnie also reached his climax. His whole body tensed, his fingers clenched around the sheets and he bit his lower lip, while his nose wrinkled a little.  
It was cute.  
Heartbreaking.  
Kiwi's eyes filled with tears and Vinnie rolled next to her, letting out his breath.  
The human girl rolled on her side, leaning with her head in one hand.  
And she could see the spark fade again, till there was nothing left but emptiness.  
My god, was he ever gonna be the same again?  
"Vinnie, please… please, promise me you'll come back to me…", she said softly, her voice thick of emotions.  
Vinnie was staring at the ceiling again.  
"Can't make promises I can't keep, babe…"  
His toneless voice, his blank face, his empty eyes…  
Kiwi suddenly couldn't take it anymore. She burst into tears and jumped off the bed, quickly pulling on some clothes.  
Vinnie rolled on his side, turning away from her and she left the room without looking back. She needed to talk to someone.  
She needed to talk to Throttle.  
Right now.

"I'm sure it's okay to break the rules for once, gorgeous. I mean, you're gonna be away, probably for a long time. Guess that's enough reason to stay with me tonight… And I'm sure we ain't the only ones...", Carbine said softly against Throttle's neck.  
She was sitting on her desk, with the tan furred mouse standing between her legs.  
Throttle kissed her and leaned with his forehead against hers.  
"Is this really happening? The stern General Carbine is almost begging me to break the rules? The ones she has come up with herself?", he teased her.  
But then, he kissed her passionately and when he broke off the kiss, he smiled at her.  
"They should try to stop me…", his voice now even more husky than usual and he claimed her lips again.  
Things were starting to heat up, when all of a sudden the door opened.  
They both froze and turned their heads towards the doorway, only to see a very sad human girl standing.  
"Oh jesus, I'm sorry, I… god, I wasn't thinking, please… pretend this never happened, okay?", Kiwi stuttered, her face redder than a fully grown tomato, and quickly left the room again.  
Throttle looked at Carbine, who gave him a sad smile.  
"She needs you. Go."  
"Trust me when I say this ain't over, babe", Throttle smiled back and after giving her one last kiss on the nose, he made himself loose and followed the human girl.

"Kiwi, wait up."  
Kiwi stopped and turned around, her big blue eyes watery.  
"I'm sorry, I should've known, it's the night before you guys leave, I…", but Throttle stopped in front of her and lay a finger against her lips.  
"Ssshh… It's okay. What's wrong?"  
He already knew the answer.  
"I can't get through to him, Throttle… I've tried everything, but he's just… jesus, what if he doesn't come back?", and she burst into tears again.  
Throttle wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against him, rubbing her back.  
"Ah man, Kiwi…"  
"I'm so scared of losing him, and yet, it feels like I've already lost him at the same time, ya know?", she sobbed against his tan coloured fur.  
"I know, I know…", Throttle said soothing.  
"Isn't it safer to keep him here? To give him more time?"  
Throttle slowly untangled himself and gently took her by the shoulders, so he could look her in the eye.  
"Listen to me, Kiwi. I know how hard this is, but you need to let him go. For now. Trust me when I say we'll have his back out there, that we'll do everything to bring him home safely. But… Sometimes, when you love someone, you need to let that person go. Do that for Vinnie, Kiwi. He needs this journey to find himself back. We all do, I guess…"  
Kiwi knew he was right.  
God dammit, of course he was right.  
But letting her macho mouse ride out in this state, not knowing if she was ever gonna see that smile again, or ever gonna hear that voice again…  
It was gonna be one of the hardest things she'd ever done in her life.  
But there was no choice.  
Only love.  
And outta love, she needed to let him go.  
And that's what she was gonna do.

_The time has come to say goodbye…_

"I'm gonna miss ya…", Carbine sighed, leaning against Throttle.  
"Ah well… At least I'm at the same planet this time", the tan furred mouse tried to lighten up the mood.  
"That doesn't make it easier, you know that right? I'm starting to get used to having you around me. Guess I'm being spoiled now..."  
"I know… But I try to keep telling myself that if we were able to survive that, ya know, being so far away from each other, this is gonna be a walk in the park."  
"Can't you just say you're gonna miss me too?", Carbine snapped at him.  
Being sad always made her feel grumpy like a old lady.  
Throttle lifted her chin with one finger, a smile on his lips, not impressed at all. He knew how she was.  
"I'm gonna miss ya too, babe, and you know it."  
Carbine sighed and her gaze landed on Vinnie.  
"Ya sure you're gonna be okay?"  
Throttle followed her gaze and let out his breath.  
"At least I still have Modo to talk to…"  
"You know that's not what I mean."  
Throttle forced her to look at him.  
"Ah Carbine… He'll be okay. Trust me. We all will."  
He wasn't sure who he was trying to convince.  
But he couldn't tell her that he wasn't sure if Vinnie was gonna recover from this. If he did tell, he would leave her behind with too much worries.  
With too much insecurities.  
For now, the only thing that mattered was that she needed to have a little faith.  
"You're a bad liar, always has been", Carbine murmured and pressed her lips against his.  
He held her even tighter and kissed her back.  
Damn, he was gonna miss her.

"You better make sure you're gonna come back in one piece, otherwise there won't be a wedding", Amira sobbed, holding Modo tightly.  
"That almost sounds like a threat, Amira ma'am", Modo smiled sad.  
"It is."  
"Don't worry, I wouldn't wanna miss it myself, darling."  
The big guy was so happy that he'd found her. But the other side of this beautiful love story was that he needed to say goodbye now.  
Saying goodbye was already hard enough. And without knowing if you were gonna be able to make it back… well…  
Because no matter how good they were, there was always a chance that they would bump into someone who was better than them.  
Okay, okay, what are the odds right? But still…  
The risk was there. They all knew it was. And that's what was making this whole saying goodbye thing twice as hard.  
Because you had no idea if it was a final goodbye.  
"Dammit, this is so much harder than I thought it would be…", Amira sighed, almost guessing his thoughts.  
She looked up at him, her eyes watery. Modo wiped away a tear that rolled down her face.  
"I know, darling. But try to have a little faith. Believe me when I say I'm willing to do _everything_ to come back to ya. I just got ya… No way I'm gonna lose ya already…"  
Amira buried her face in his fur again, crying her eyes out.  
But she did have faith.  
Because this, them meeting each other, was meant to be.  
So, faith, along with a little bit of destiny and hope, was gonna bring him back to her.  
But there was always that nagging feeling of insecurity. But she tried to push it away.  
You've just gotta have faith.

Kiwi was already crying. Again. Jesus, when was this gonna stop?  
How was it possible she even had tears left to shed?  
Vinnie was holding her, his chin resting on her head.  
She could feel his heartbeat, and it was way too calm.  
God dammit…  
"I love you…", she whispered.  
"I love you too…"  
She looked up at him, he looked down on her.  
His eyes were empty. Vitreous.  
"I can only hope that you're gonna be able to find yourself back out there. Because obviously, I can't help ya with that. God, Vinnie… I just… Can't you see how much you're hurting yourself? And me? And your bro's?"  
Vinnie said nothing. He didn't even blink.  
"Please… I'll let you go, I'll leave it up to you, but please… come back to me…"  
"Like I said, babe. Can't make promises I can't keep."  
His voice was flat. Toneless.

**Argh.**

She suppressed the sudden overwhelming need to slap him in the face. That would only make things worse, she knew that.  
But dammit, she just needed to get through to him. This was exhausting.  
It made her feel desperate like never before.  
It was as if she was talking to a wall, that happens to talk back once in a while.  
Jesus, and they were always yelling at him that he needed to keep his big mouth shut. And now he finally did, she wanted to beg him, on her knees, to talk.  
This was the world upside down.  
She took a few deep breaths to control herself.  
Arguing, yelling, slap him, it wasn't gonna make any difference, she knew that.  
She knew what it was like to sink this far down in the darkness.  
She knew that Throttle was right, that she needed to let him go.  
To let him fix this by himself.  
But dammit, that was hard, alright.

She grabbed him by the chin, her eyes almost burning a hole in his skull.  
"Promise me this; if you decide not to come back, if you decide you're tired of fighting, _whatever_… Only make that decision if you have absolute peace with it. You hear me? Only then. So I can have peace with it too. You're not alone, Vinnie. Try to remember that."  
"Guess that's a promise I can make…", he whispered.  
Kiwi let out her breath and let him go.  
No matter how hard this was, she knew it had to be his decision.  
If he was too damaged, if he was beyond fixing… Why keep fighting?  
She was the last person who would tell him to keep on going.  
She had been there herself. It would be hypocrite to tell him not to give up.  
But deep down, in the deepest of her heart, she knew he wasn't gonna give up.  
Deep down, she knew he was still in there.  
And she could only hope that this mission was gonna help him to swim back to the surface.  
But yeah... Throttle was right. She needed to let him go.  
This was his mission. His alone.

"Don't blame yourself for this, okay?", he suddenly said, his voice hoarse.  
She looked up surprised. The intense look in his eyes took her off guard.  
Ya see? He was still in there.  
"Kiwi…"  
He said her name.  
Not only that, he said it with a voice thick of emotion.  
Kiwi's heart cried and she looked back into his burning eyes.  
"I won't… Just… know that I love you, with all my heart. And that I'll be here for you. Forever…"  
"Forever…", he whispered and he kissed her.  
It wasn't a kiss without promises.  
And she suddenly knew, she just knew, that he was gonna come back to her.  
The only question was when.  
Not if.  
When.

The mice mounted their bikes.  
Vinnie had to admit, it felt like coming home. His bike beeped loudly, maybe even a little agitated because they hadn't been on the road for so long.  
"I know, sweetheart, I know…", he mumbled while patting her side.  
Kiwi kneeled down next to his bike, checking the sensor for the last time.  
"Okay, you're good to go", and she pushed a button on his bike. The drone came to life and rose into the air.  
"So, that thing is gonna follow us everywhere, Kiwi ma'am?", Modo asked, looking at the piece of technologie that was hanging in the air, a few meters behind Vinnie.  
"Yep. Well, technically, everywhere where Vinnie's bike goes. But since you guys are inseparable... Remember, only use the frequency that is now set on your radio. You guys can hear each other, and so can I. I can take over control of the drone if you guys need a explorer."  
Throttle saluted, so did Modo, both with a teasing smile on their lips.  
"Oh you guys…", Kiwi sighed while shaking her head.  
God, she was gonna miss them. All three of them. They were her family.  
"Be careful out there, rookies. Keep us updated", Stoker smiled while clapping Throttle on the back.  
"Will do, coach", Modo smiled back.  
"Okay, partners, everybody ready?", Throttle asked his bro's, who both nodded.  
"Very well, then it's time for us to rock and ride!"

Squealing tires. Smoke. Roaring engines.  
And they were gone.  
Their loved ones followed them with their eyes, all having one mutual thought.  
_Come home safely..._

* * *

A little less action, a little more fluff and drama…  
There will be action further on in the story.  
But I didn't wanna rush it.  
I can only hope it wasn't too boring, hehe.

Aaaaanywayz, feel free to leave a review, they always make me happy.  
And till next time, my loyal readers! :D

Later!


	3. Chapter 3

Yo yo yo!

Thanks again for the reviews!  
I hope it didn't make you too sad, Butterfly Souls.  
But I agree, it was a real sad chapter.  
Depression is a fucked up disease, I can tell.  
It sucks, big time.  
And it leaves the people around you completely empty handed.

Anyway, on to the next one!  
A little less sad :)

Enjoy! ^^

* * *

**Chapter 3**

_Phase two; provoke.._

"Man, the sound of that drone is more annoying than Vinnie talking about himself all day", Modo sighed, clearly annoyed by the high and buzzing sound of the small device that followed them. Even the engines of the bikes couldn't override the sound. And with the mice their sensitive hearing, well…  
"I hear ya, bro. Although, I've gotta admit, it would be a relief to hear Vinnie talk about himself nowadays…", Throttle answered, glancing at his white furred bro.  
But the latter didn't respond. He hadn't said a word since they had left the base, which was now a couple of hours ago.  
They were driving east, Stoker had told them to start there.  
And so they did.  
"Yeah, I know…", the gray furred giant agreed.  
Suddenly, his bike started to beep.  
"Whoops, sensor warning. One boobytrap on eleven o'clock, bro's."  
"Good. Just the thing we need", and Throttle drove towards it, followed by his two bro's.  
The tan furred mouse stopped his bike and opened his visor.  
"Well, boys... Hehehe. We're far enough from the base now, so guess it's time for us to invite some rats to come out and play."  
"Yeah, I can use a little exercise after driving this long", Modo agreed, cracking his knuckles.  
They waited for a moment, expecting Vinnie to agree, but still nothing.  
"Ah man…", Throttle muttered under his breath.  
He looked at Modo, who shrugged, clearly feeling the same helpless feeling as his bro and leader.  
Suddenly, a missile left Vinnie's bike and made the trap explode with a loud bang.  
His bro's looked up startled, but then, their gaze landed on Vinnie.  
"What? Itchy trigger finger, remember?", he said flatly.  
Throttle rolled his eyes, but a little smile curled his lips.  
"Impatient as always…", Modo chuckled.  
Vinnie shrugged and leaned forward on his windshield, his head resting in one of his hands.  
Not the image you would expect to see when they were waiting for a fight.  
Normally, he would've bounced off his bike.  
But not now.  
This was gonna be a long and tiresome mission.

After a few minutes, they saw a cloud of dust in the distance, announcing the arrival of the rats who were warned by the sensor in the trap.  
Throttle closed his visor.  
"Okay, bro's. Remember, we need them alive. We need them to spread the word, okay?"  
Modo smiled while his arm cannon popped out.  
"Copy that, bro. Only mess with them, like a cat plays with his food. No problem."  
Vinnie was still hanging listless on his bike.  
"Vincent?", Throttle asked patiently.  
"Yeah, yeah, I hear ya."  
Throttle gave Modo a warning glance, to tell him they needed to keep an eye on the white furred mouse, since he had no idea what to expect.  
I mean, what if he didn't fight back?  
That sounded more than ridiculous, since the white furred mouse always loved a good fight, but with the way he was behaving for the past few weeks, Throttle couldn't predict his moves.  
Not anymore.  
Modo nodded, a sign to let his leader know that he got the message.

Loud cackling broke the silence and a group with about ten rats, riding in buggies, drove towards them.  
The one in the front raised his fist in the air when he saw the three mice and the group stopped right in front of them.  
"Well, well, well… What do we have here?", the leader of the pack smiled mean. "Three meecies, all alone, far away from their friends…"  
"The Sand Raiders will pay a good price for them, I mean, look at their bikes", another rat pointed out.  
"Guess this is one of those rare days that luck is on our side", the leader nodded and grabbed his gun.  
But the mice, of course, weren't impressed.  
"Lucky days, huh?", Throttle chuckled, activating his knuck knocks.  
"You still have to catch us first", Modo added casually, studying his metal hand.  
The rats started to laugh.  
"Tough words for someone who's outnumbered. Do yourself a favor and surrender yourself, before you might…", but before he could finish his sentence, a laser shot the gun outta his hand.  
"Man, shut the fuck up, will ya?", Vinnie sighed tiredly, still leaning on his windshield, while putting his laser gun back in his leg holster.  
The rat stared at him for a moment and his face slowly twisted with anger, making him even more ugly than he already was.  
"You're gonna regret that, meece", he growled.  
Vinnie yawned, clearly not impressed.  
"Yeah, yeah. Whatever…"  
The rat studied the white furred mouse, clearly a little bit at loss if the mouse was just playing with him or that he really didn't care.  
But then, he roared in anger.  
"Attack!"

The rats sped forward, but the mice came into movement just as fast.  
Throttle drove past three of them and used his knuck knocks to knock the rats outta their buggies.  
"One… Two… Three…", he casually counted, a smile on his face.  
Modo blew up three other buggies with his armcannon, one by one.  
"Four… Five… Six down, four to go", he chuckled.  
Throttle turned his bike and his eyes searched for Vinnie. He quickly spotted him and narrowed his eyes.  
The white furred mouse was still standing still, while three buggies drove towards him.  
Come on, Vincent… _Come on_…  
Throttle flexed his muscles, ready to intervene…  
But Vinnie pushed a button on his bike and a missile blew up the three buggies, right before they reached him.  
Throttle let out his breath.  
Maybe it wasn't his usual style, at least he did _something_.  
"Guess that makes it nine, big fella", the tan furred mouse said into the radio. "Now for the main course…"  
The leader rat was approaching him from behind and Throttle's tail lashed through the air. He snatched the big fat rat outta his buggie and grabbed him by the shirt. While stepping off his bike, he pulled off his helmet and looked at the rat.  
Who wasn't that tough anymore.  
"Listen up. I've got a message for you and your companions. Tell them that the Biker Mice are back on Mars and that we're gonna search every square feet of this planet for our people. Tell them that if they just let them go, nobody is gonna get hurt. But if they don't, we will hunt them down and kill them, even if it's the last thing we'll do. You've got that?"  
The rat nodded shivering and Throttle let him go.  
"And just to make sure you really understand the gravity of the situation…"  
He hated this.  
But Stoker was right. The time for chivalry was over.  
So, he grabbed his gun and shot the rat in his upper leg, making him scream in pain.  
"You better get back to get that wound treated… Before you'll bleed to death…"  
The rat limped to his buggie, moaning in pain. But he managed to climb in and he made a hasty retreat, leaving his unconcious friends behind.  
Throttle turned around to look at his bro's.  
"Well, guess that went well enough… You placed the tracker, Vincent?"  
The white furred mouse nodded.  
"Good. Kiwi will map his movements."  
He mounted his bike.  
"Time for us to find the next one. Let's ride!"

Days past. And all they did, was provoking.  
Stoker had come up with the idea.  
First step; make your presence known. Let the enemy be scared.  
Let them all talk about the three mice who were on a warpath.  
Let them have sleepless nights.  
Let them lie in bed, shivering with fear.  
Let them jerk upright by every sound they hear.  
Let them be scared twenty four seven that the Biker Mice would come to take them down.  
Because scared people had the tendency to make mistakes.  
Because scared people talk. They tell you their secrets to save their own ass.  
Information was gold. But you only got information if people were scared.  
Throttle wasn't entirely convinced. He himself prefered to have the element of surprise. But again, this wasn't about him.  
Stoker was right. They needed to change their methods.  
And so they did.  
They lured out the enemy, kicked their asses and sent one of them back with a message and a tracker, so Kiwi could map all the hideouts.  
That information would be useful later on. It was always good to know where your enemy was hiding.  
It was also information which they needed for the next phase of the mission.  
But first things first.  
Collect and spread.

"How's everything going so far, Throttle?", Stoker asked.  
It was late in the evening and the mice had found themselves a cave for the night.  
Throttle was sitting outside, in front of the entrance, and had called Stoker through the radio on the 'secret' frequency.  
Another one of Stoker's ideas. So they could talk with just the two of them.  
Leader to leader.  
The drone was hanging close to his head, the camera aimed at the outside world, so that whoever was behind the controls back on the base could keep watch for them.  
"So far no trouble, Stoke. We've only found rats so far, no Plutarkians and no Sand Raiders. And no prisoners. But then again, we're out here for only a few days now."  
"How's the big guy holding up?"  
"Good. Better than I expected. He's focussed, maybe a little more quiet than usual, but I think Amira did one hell of a job with getting him back on his feet."  
"And the punk?"  
"Well… Let's just say he's doing his part without questioning."  
"No change so far?"  
"Nope… zero, nada, niente. How is Carbine?"  
"She's fine. Working her ass off, just to keep herself distracted, ya know, just being Carbine."  
Throttle chuckled. That did sound familiar, actually.  
"And Kiwi? I mean, I speak with her through the radio, but most of the time it's about business. How's she holding up?"  
"She's stronger than she looks like. She'll manage."  
"I know."  
"You care a lot about her, huh?"  
"She's family."  
"She's a good girl. Glad you've brought her with ya. Well, gotta go, rookie. Talk to you in a few days."  
"Copy that. Throttle out."

The tan furred mouse pulled off his helmet and looked up at the stars. It was a beautiful sight, one he had missed while being on Earth.  
But now he was sitting here, he suddenly wished he wasn't.  
Things on Earth weren't always easy, but being back here, it all suddenly seemed so small, somehow.  
Living in Mars was far more complicated, that's for sure.  
Ah well. Life did have it's own way. And the only thing he could do was just go with it.  
Go with the flow.  
But it definitely wasn't a straight road.  
He put on his helmet again and set the frequency back.  
"Kiwi, you still there?"  
"Yeah, Throttle. You okay?"  
"Yeah. Just wanna check how you were doing.."  
A silence. When she answered, her voice sounded a little different.  
"I'm fine. But I miss you guys..."  
"We miss ya too, babe. Tell Carbine I said hi, okay?"  
"Will do."  
"Good night, Kiwi."  
"Night, Throttle."

The tan furred mouse walked back into the cave.  
Modo had made a fire, and the warmth of the flames had transformed the cold cave into a now pleasant shelter.  
The gray furred giant was now sitting on a big rock, cleaning his bike.  
Vinnie was sitting with his back against the wall, staring into the flames.  
Throttle sensed something was up. There was this tension sensible that wasn't there when he left the cave to call Stoker.  
"Everything okay here?", he asked, looking from Modo to Vinnie and back.  
"Sure, fine", Vinnie answered, but the tone in his voice was different.  
Throttle felt his heart skip a beat and he studied the face of the white furred mouse.  
That was different too. It wasn't completely blank. There were signs of agitation.  
Hmmm… That was new. Well, before all this, it wasn't. But nowadays…  
The big guy must have triggered something. Which maybe was a good thing.  
Modo grumbled something, polishing his bike with so much force that it almost toppled over.  
Throttle rubbed his chin and lay his helmet on on his bike. He grabbed one of the small bottles with the juice that Amira had made for them and while drinking, he kept looking at his bro's.  
Yep. There was definitely something up.

After swallowing the last sip, he crossed his arms in front of his chest.  
"You guys are both such bad liars, ya know. Something is up and we're gonna talk about it, right here, right now. Because tomorrow, we'll drive out again, straight into enemy territory. We can't fight as a team if there's friction. So, come on. Spill it."  
Modo threw the rag he was using on the floor and got on his feet.  
"I was just having a little… disagreement with Vinnie."  
"How? He barely speaks."  
"Oh, I know. But I asked him about something. Something that I heard from Amira…"  
"Can you guys stop talking as if I'm not here? I can hear every word you say, ya know?", Vinnie interrupted annoyed.  
Modo looked down on him.  
"Then why don't you explain to me, to us, why you never told us that you and Kiwi are engaged?"  
Throttle's eyes grew big for a moment, but he quickly recovered.  
"Engaged? As in… _really_ engaged this time?"  
Vinnie crossed his arms in front of his chest and stared angrily at the flames.  
"Affirmative", he eventually said, a little sarcastic.  
Normally, Throttle would say something about this attitude, but not now.  
Not today.  
Because by the looks of things, his younger bro was about to explode.  
A thing he normally didn't like that much either. But it was just what they needed right now.  
They needed him to come back.  
And by the looks of things, that was about to happen.  
_Finally.  
_"Okay, well, uhm… Congrats, I guess?", Throttle chuckled a little sheepishly.  
Vinnie snorted, but said nothing.  
"But really, is this what this whole thing is about?", the tan furred mouse asked a little confused.  
He had a hard time with believing this fact would upset Modo this much.  
"No. This whole thing is about Vinnie blaming you for not telling him about his sister…", Modo finally came to the clue. "And I was just telling him that it ain't fair to hold you responsible for her death."

A deathly silence.

Throttle ran a shaking hand through his hair. He knew that this moment would come, one day. They had never talked about it, not since that awful night.  
After, Vinnie had completely shut them out and never mentioned the whole thing again. He hadn't mentioned _anything_, for that matter.  
But it wasn't exactly a surprise to hear it was still brooding inside of him.  
I mean, he wasn't exactly a rather forgiving mouse.  
"Look, Vincent…", Throttle started, but Vinnie jumped at his feet, his eyes fuming.  
_Ah._ There it was. Took him long enough.  
"You should never have lied to me. I trusted you… I trusted you with my_ life_. And you violated that trust, without blinking. I can't stop thinking what if, what if, what if. These two words are constantly replaying in my head from the moment I realized she was really gone this time…"  
Throttle felt a sting in his heart. _Without blinking_? Man…  
"You're right. I should've told ya. You deserved to know the truth. But you're wrong about one thing, Vincent. It wasn't without blinking. It was one of the hardest things I ever did. But I did to protect you."  
Vinnie opened his mouth again, but Modo beat him to it.  
"Talking about _what if_…", the gray furred giant started while looking at Vinnie. "I keep thinking; what if you had managed to control yourself for once, huh? What then? What if you hadn't decide to just run out, completely unprepared, forcing us to follow ya to keep your sorry tail safe. You didn't gave us any time to prepare and because of that, we were outnumbered. Because of that, Rimfire is now dead."

Throttle let out his breath. This wasn't going very well.  
Vinnie slowly turned around to face Modo.  
"Oh really? If I remember it right, it was _you _who failed to protect him, not me!"  
"Bro's…", Throttle started, but Modo's eye started to glow red.  
"You sure got a lot of nerve, Vincent! Always blaming someone else for your mistakes, huh? Never taking any sort of responsibility for your stupid actions. When are ya finally gonna grow up?!", the gray furred giant yelled at Vinnie.  
"My mistake? Are you kidding me? If our fearless leader here had told us the truth from the moment he found out, we wouldn't be standing here talking about this!"  
"Bro's…"  
"Right! Because if Throttle would've told ya immediately, what then? You would've stayed on the base, waiting for a plan? Come on, ya can't fool us, bro. We all know that it wouldn't have made a difference."  
"Last warning…"  
"That's not the point here, Modo! He had no right to keep this from me, no right at…"  
"_Enough!_ Both of ya! ", Throttle called out, his voice raw of anger. "We're all tired, we've been through a lot and therefore, we're all on edge. But accusing each other ain't gonna do us any good. We've all lost something that night…"  
"Oh yeah? And what did you lose, other than a shot at good leadership?", Vinnie interrupted him, his tail lashing.

Throttle snapped.  
It didn't happen that easily, but the last few months had been hard.  
Too hard.  
He was tired and hungry.  
He missed Carbine.  
And he blamed himself for everything that went wrong.  
Words couldn't describe how happy he was that Vinnie was finally talking again.  
Too bad the words that came out were like knives, pouring in his flesh.  
Within two steps, he was standing in front of his younger bro and he grabbed him by his bandana, pulling him closer.  
"Your _trust_, Vincent. I've lost your trust. You have no idea how much I regret that decision, how much I regret it that I lied to ya. I made a terrible mistake and you have every right to be mad at me, but jesus, you can't blame me more than I already do! Because I _do_ blame myself. It's eating me. And seeing you all dead inside didn't really help either. You're not the only one who's in pain, Vincent. You're not alone. Don't you forget about that! I know I ain't perfect, but I do know that you're really important to me, so is Modo, and that I'll do everything within my power to protect you. And so I did, but I made the wrong call. And I'll have to live with it for the rest of my life. But I don't think I'm gonna be able to forgive myself. Ever..."  
His voice broke and he let Vinnie go, taking a few deep breaths to calm himself down.  
Damn, it has been a long time he had been this upset.  
But even for him, things were just too much sometimes.  
He wasn't a robot.

There was a silence for a moment.  
Vinnie stared angrily at the floor, cleary needing some time to process all this.  
But then, his face softened. His ears drooped.  
"Kiwi said the same thing, ya know. That I'm not alone… But I feel alone…", he eventually said softly. "Ever since that day, I just feel so goddamn alone. Completely empty. Even if there are people around me, I _still_ feel alone. Isolated…"  
Modo lay a hand on his shoulder, his eye already back to its normal colour.  
"You ain't alone, little bro. We've got your back. Always have. Always do."  
Vinnie bit his lower lip, tears filled his eyes. He wiped them away angrily.  
"I just wanted to be her hero.. so badly… and I've failed her. _Fuck_, I keep seeing her body, everytime I close my eyes. I keep hearing her bones break, everytime there's a silence. And it hurts... It hurts, so badly. I can't deal with this. I…"  
He tried everything within his power to suppress his emotions, but he simply couldn't. It was too much.  
For two months, he'd felt completely drained. Completely empty.  
But he was back now.  
Something, and he wasn't sure what, had literally slapped him in the face and brought him back to reality.  
And the pain was suffocating.

He shot Throttle a panicked look, not knowing what to do with all this.  
And Throttle did the one thing he'd never done before.  
He grabbed Vinnie's arm and just pulled him in his arms. Vinnie tensed for a moment, but then, he broke.  
Finally, he broke.  
His body shook with crying and Throttle just held him, feeling tears in his own eyes.  
Maybe it wasn't macho and all. But he didn't care. It felt like the right thing to do right now.  
When Vinnie calmed down a little, Throttle opened his mouth again.  
"Listen, Vin… I know the pain. I know it feels like it's gonna wipe you away. But you need to let it in. Only then you can make peace with it. Stop running. Stop fighting. Just… let it in. It will get better, in time. And we'll be here, to support ya. Please, believe me when I say that you're not alone."  
Vinnie slowly untangled himself and looked up at Throttle with watery eyes.  
"I uhm… I'm sorry, bro... For everything I said. I was just so angry about you violating my trust, I never really thought about it how hard it must have been for you. I'm sorry… And all this… it ain't your fault."  
"Thanks, Vin. That means a lot", Throttle smiled, his voice a little shaky.  
Vinnie looked over his shoulder to Modo.  
"Big fella, I…", but Modo stopped him.  
"I'm the one who should say sorry. It ain't your fault Rimfire died… Throttle is right. We need to stop throwing accusations at each other. There's only one person who's responsible for all this and that's Limburger."  
Vinnie wiped off his face, a determined look in his eyes.  
"You're right. And trust me when I say that we're gonna find him and make him pay. For keep."  
"For once I agree with ya, Vinnie", Throttle nodded.  
"Me too. It's time the big cheese is gonna face the music. Pay for his crimes", Modo added.  
Vinnie's cheeks suddenly turned red, as if he just now realized what just happened.  
"Man, talk about your major reputation killers… Crying like a baby ain't really macho and manly…"  
Throttle and Modo shared a look and smiled.  
Yep. He was back.  
"Don't worry, Vinnie my man. This stays between us", Throttle chuckled.  
"Yeah, what happens within this cave, stays within this cave. Nobody will ever know", Modo rumbled.  
"Right. I eh… I really need to talk to Kiwi. Just… Try not to listen, okay?", Vinnie mumbled while putting on his helmet and he walked outside.

_Meanwhile, back on the base…  
_Kiwi was sitting curled up in her chair. She had heard every word that had been said.  
Tears streamed down her face, but this time, it weren't only tears because of sadness. It were also tears of happiness.  
Because she now knew for sure; Vinnie was gonna heal. In the end, he was gonna heal. And she was gonna have her macho mouse back.  
A smile curled her lips. He was gonna be okay.  
Jesus, it was a close one.  
But even if he still had a long way to go, she now knew; he was gonna be okay.  
"Sweetheart?"  
His hesitant voice filled her ears and she let out her breath, still smiling.  
"Hey there, macho mouse…"  
"I eh… I just wanted to say… well…", he stuttered, clearly not at ease.  
"You don't have to say anything, love. I've heard everything. It's okay."  
"No. No, it's not. I was being selfish, I shut you out, even if I promised not to do that ever again… "  
"I don't think you really had a choice, Vin…"  
"There's always a choice. I just… I gave up. And I'm so, so sorry I did, because I promised you that I would be there for ya, for the rest of our lives…"  
"Yeah well, I would normally agree with you, but losing your sister like that, well… that are mitigating circumstances, ya know."  
A silence.  
"I still can't believe she's really gone now…"  
His voice was small. Almost childish.  
"I know, Vin… I know. It's awful. Horrible. She didn't deserve this."  
"I miss her."  
"I know…"  
Vinnie cleared his throat, clearly pulling himself together.  
"Anyway... "  
She could almost _hear _his lips curl into that smile she loved so much and it gave her goosebumps.  
"The things I'm gonna do to ya when I'm back…"  
His voice.  
Low. Teasing.  
Jesus, words couldn't describe what this did to her.  
"Can't wait, macho mouse…"  
"I know. I mean, who wouldn't when you once had a taste of this great body? You're addicted for life."  
"Wauw, Vinnie, that's… so true, I guess", Kiwi giggled while rolling her eyes.  
"Sweat dreams, babe. I love ya."  
"I love you too. Stay safe."  
"For you? Always…"

_Three weeks later…  
_"Come out, come out, wherever you are… You fucking rats", Vinnie smiled, blowing up another trap.  
He was finally able to enjoy the mission, and it was like his birthday every day.  
Fighting, blowing up things, be macho and cool and all… yeah, his way of living.  
It helped with the pain. He felt so much better now. He was still sad, he still missed Mireya, but he had switched a button that day he'd let it all out.  
Keep asking himself _what if _was like poison for his brain. He needed to accept that things went the way they went, no matter how awful it was.  
But there was also so much to live for.  
And he promised himself to never give up like that again.  
Never.

They didn't have to wait long. Apparently, the rats were already close by and within minutes, they were surrounded.  
Vinnie looked at the rats and narrowed his eyes. They looked different than all the others they had found the past few weeks. More… primitive.  
That's weird. And they weren't driving trikes, but bikes this time.  
Ah well. Rats are rats. Scum. Traitors.  
Throttle studied the rats in front of him, and he couldn't help it that a shiver went through his spine.  
There was something about them that made him… concerned.  
Not scared. But concerned.  
"Well, aren't you guys gonna give us the whole 'surrender yourself and you won't be harmed' speech?", Vinnie asked impatiently, bouncing on his bike.  
"Vincent, shut up", Throttle warned him through the radio.  
He couldn't believe he was already telling his younger bro that he should keep his damn mouth shut, since he was so relieved the guy finally spoke again.  
But there was something with this rats he just didn't trust.  
Vinnie bit his lower lip and took a good look at the rat in front of him. It was obvious a female, and if Vinnie didn't hate rats like he did, perhaps she may have been attractive. She was wearing only some sort of bikini made of fur, showing her slender, but trained body.  
Sitting on a bike, she aimed a small blowpipe at him and her eyes were fuming while looking back at him.  
It was obvious she didn't like mice that much either.  
The white furred mouse winked at her while his lips curled into his trademark smile.  
"Enjoying the view, sweetheart?", and he wiggled his eyebrows.  
Apparently, she wasn't and she blew into the pipe as an answer, clearly annoyed.  
A small object flew outta the pipe. It glittered in the sun and Vinnie soon recognized it as one of his least favorite items.  
A syringe.  
Well, a tranquilizer dart, to be exact.  
He quickly ducked and the dart flew over his head.  
"_Ha_! Missed me…"  
And with that, the time for talk was over.  
The rats attacked, in total silence, and so did the mice.  
A little less silent, though.

The female rat went after Vinnie and the white furred mouse laughed out loud while he hit the accelerator.  
"AAAOOWW, sorry sweetheart, but this is one mouse you ain't gonna catch, no matter how much you would like to!"  
A missile left the back of his bike, but the female rat avoided it.  
"You talk too much!", she yelled back at him, her voice low and husky.  
"Who? Moi? Haha! Just admit you like me, doll. You sure ain't the first."  
The female let out a scream in frustration, trying to catch up with that annoying mouse, but he was too fast.  
Her bike was a old model and, unlike Vinnie's bike, not made for speed.  
When he created enough distance, Vinnie turned his bike to face the music.  
"Just you and me, babe. I'll be careful with ya, no worries", he smirked arrogant.  
"Oh really? Who says I need you to?", and she grabbed a weird looking gun and fired at him.  
Another tranquilizer dart.  
Vinnie pushed a button on his handlebar and laser shot the small object outta the air.  
"Why shoot with darts when you have laser?"  
"Because there are things way worse than laser, you annoying little boy."  
Vinnie's eyes grew big and he gasped for breath.  
"Say what? _Little_? _Boy_? Excuuuuuse me? I ain't little and I definitely ain't no boy… _Annoying_, on the other hand..." and he fired another missile, leaving the female rat no other option than to jump off her bike.  
The shockwave of the explosion knocked her on the ground and Vinnie smiled, raised his hand in the shape of a gun and blew away so called smoke.  
"But yeah, you were right about the laser part, dollface. Why shoot with laser when you have missiles, bwahahaha!"  
He revved his bike and when he drove past her, he kicked her in the face, knocking her out immediately.  
"Sorry, sweetheart. Guess we ain't no match after all. Your loss, though. Later!"

When he joined Throttle, he saw the fight was over, given the unconscious rats spread across the battlefield.  
"So, guess that takes care of them, huh?", Vinnie smiled. "Hey, where's Modo?"  
A loud scream came as answer and they both looked up startled.  
"That didn't sound good", Vinnie murmured.  
Throttle looked around him and he suddenly spotted the gray furred giant.  
"Modo!"  
He quickly drove towards the big guy, followed by Vinnie.  
Modo was lying in the sand and let out another scream. His one eye was squeezed shut, his whole face was twisted in a grimas.  
"What the…", Vinnie started, but Modo screamed again and the white furred mouse now felt a hint of panic.  
What the hell was going on here?  
What could possibly make the tough gray furred giant scream like this?  
Throttle jumped off his bike and kneeled down next to Modo.  
"Wow, wow, easy, big fella. What's going on?"  
His hands flew over Modo's body, searching for wounds, but he couldn't find it.  
No blood. Nothing.  
But why...  
Modo's muscles flexed under his fur, his fists were clenched, so were his teeth, and sweat was already soaking the gray fur, making it almost look black.  
"Modo, talk to me, man."

Vinnie's eye suddenly caught something and he slid off his bike.  
While kneeling down next to his older bro, he pulled a already familiar object out of Modo's neck.  
"Here's the problem, Throttle."  
The tan furred mouse looked at it, clearly at loss.  
"What the hell is that?"  
"I dunno, but the girl I was followed by used it too. She said, quote: 'There are things way worse than laser.' And then, she called me a annoying little boy! Can you believe that shit, I mean…"  
"_Vincent_! Focus!"  
"Right", Vinnie smiled sheepishly. "I have no clue what's she was talking about, she didn't seem real straight in the head, if ya know what I mean."  
Suddenly, Modo grabbed Throttle's wrist in a iron grip.  
"M-make it stop…", he squeezed out between clenched teeth.  
"Make what stop, Modo? I'm kinda standing in the dark here!", Throttle answered urgent, wrinkling his nose because of the pain caused by Modo's firm grip.  
"The pain... "  
Throttle and Vinnie shared a worried, but also confused look.  
"What pain, big fella? I don't see any wounds…"  
Another scream was his answer.

_Dammit._

While Throttle examined Modo's body again, Vinnie reached out to Kiwi.  
"Sweetheart, you there? You seeing all this?", the white furred mouse asked into his radio.  
"Yeah, I am. Can you show me what you've pulled outta his neck just now?", her beautiful voice filled his ears.  
The drone came closer and Vinnie held the tranquilizer dart in front of the camera.  
"Strange. They must have used some sort of poison... "  
"You know anything about poison?"  
"No…"  
"Maybe Stoker does", Throttle interfered. "Go get him, _now_! In the meantime, we're gonna find us a safe place. And Kiwi? Don't tell Amira about this, not until we know what the hell is going on here!"

* * *

Oops… Cliffhanger… Hehehe.

Oh, poor Modo… what was inside that dart and what will happen next?  
Are they gonna find out in time or...  
At least our beloved charming white furred mouse is on speaking terms again.

Feel free to leave a review, I'm dying to hear what you guys think of it.  
But no pressure ;)  
Thanks for reading my story and till next time!

Later dudes!


	4. Chapter 4

You guys…

Thanks for the reviews, the follows and the favorites.  
You know how much it means to me, so a big thanks and much love to all of ya out there.

It has been very quiet for the past few weeks here on fanfiction.  
Me included.

And I'm sorry. For the first time since I started writing, life got in the way.  
A lot is happening right now, I won't bother you with the details.  
But, I managed to finish a chapter, took me long enough.  
Not my usual style.  
I can only hope I'll be back on track soon.  
It's a bit shorter than usual, but I wanted to give you guys at least something.

Aaaanyway, enough with the talking.  
Next chapter!  
Sorry for possible spelling errors, did the best I could.  
But my focus ain't what it used to be these days.

Enjoy! ^^

* * *

**Chapter 4**

_On the base…  
_"Stoker! Stoker, where the fuck are you?", Kiwi yelled into the radio which they used on the base.  
"Did I just hear ya whisper my name, beautiful?"  
Stoker's voice sounded almost lazy, clearly not impressed by the urgent tone in the human girl's voice.  
"I need you in Braavos, right now!"  
"On my way as we speak."  
Kiwi looked at the screen, seeing how Throttle and Vinnie were struggling to get Modo on Throttle's bike, to find a safe place as soon as possible.  
She'd turned off the volume from the speakers, since Modo's screams were giving her the chills.  
Poor guy...  
Jax was sitting next to her, already searching the server for any sort of information about poison, but so far no luck.  
Neo and Flash were sleeping, since they had the nightshift last night.  
"Jesus, what is taking him so long?", Kiwi snorted annoyed, still staring at the screen.  
"Relax, Kiwi. He'll be here any second now."  
"Maybe he forgot his walker…"  
"I heard that. I may be a few years older, I ain't no goddamn elderly, ya know", Stoker said sharply while entering Braavos and Kiwi flinched, her cheeks burning.  
"Sorry… It's the nerves that talk at this very moment…"

"So, where's the fire?", the brown furred mouse asked while taking place next to her, looking at the screen. "Oh. That doesn't look good."  
"Modo is hit with a tranquilizer dart by one of the rats", Kiwi explained. "But we have no idea what's inside of it. We kinda hoped you could tell us."  
"Me? Since when do I look like a professor to ya, huh?"  
Kiwi hesitated, not sure if he wanted a honest answer.  
But looking at the screen, seeing Modo scream in pain, made her decide that she didn't really cared about Stoker's feelings right now.  
"You don't. Except for the few grey hairs in your fur, maybe… but that ain't the point here! You maybe know nothing about poison, you _do _know a lot about Mars and its people. You never heard from rats using darts? Or other old fashioned weapons?"  
Stoker shook his head, but then, he suddenly froze.  
"Wait a minute... How did they look like?", he asked urgently, already pushing Jax away from his computer. "I need a image of them."  
His fingers flew over the keys, but by the looks of things, he had no idea what he was doing. Jax patiently pushed him away and took over.  
Within two seconds, a still from the drone's camera with the female rat appeared on the screen.  
The silver furred mouse gave Stoker space again by stepping back, a smugly smile on his face.  
"Thanks... although I didn't need your help, chappie... ", the leader mumbled while taking a closer look at the screen.  
"No, it sure looked like you knew exactly what you were doing, Stoke", Jax replied innocently, but Stoker didn't hear him.  
He sat frozen on the chair, staring at the screen.  
"No way…", he eventually brought out.

Slowly, he leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes for a moment.  
He then looked back at the screen and sighed.  
"All I know are the stories. Till now, I had no idea that they were still living on this planet…"  
Kiwi waved impatiently with her hands.  
"Yeah, so? Who are they?"  
"They are gypsies, called the Outsiders. They used to rule Mars, a very long time ago now. But the Martian Mice kicked them of the throne, because of their… primitive ways of punishment. They are martyrs. They know no mercy."  
Kiwi's felt goosebumps on her arms and she shivered.  
"That doesn't sound very promising…"  
"No, but I can hardly believe that they're still as powerful as they used to be. I mean, the guys managed to kick their asses with just the three of them, right?"  
"Well, yeah… but tell me, do these stories also tell something about poison?", Kiwi asked, getting back to the main problem, namely; Modo who was still in mysterious pain.  
"I dunno, not that I can remember…", Stoker mumbled, squeezing the bridge of his nose.  
Kiwi clenched her teeth.  
How was it even possible that he remained this calm?  
Maybe because he had the nerves of a soldier.  
Yeah, that would probably be it.

"Don't you have books, or anything else we can consult?"  
"No, it all got lost in the war."  
Kiwi threw her hands in the air in frustration.  
"Great. Just great. So now what?"  
Stoker glanced at her.  
"You starting to sound like the punk, beautiful", and he winked at her. But then his face grew serious again.  
"Maybe Amira can help us, she knows everything about plants and stuff…"  
"No can do. Throttle ordered to keep her out of it till we know what exactly is going on…"  
"Well, good thing Throttle ain't the one in charge on this base then. Call her. We need her. I think she might be our only chance…"  
Kiwi hesitated, since she was very loyal to Throttle and she didn't want to disobey him.  
But Stoker made the decision for her.  
"...and _that_, Kiwi, is an order…"

"Amira, come in."  
The honey coloured mouse looked up from her work in her small lab, a little dazed.  
Where did that voice come from anyway?  
"Amira, come in, now."  
Ah. The radio.  
Her tail snatched the radio of her desk.  
"Amira here", she answered absently, still looking at her notes.  
"We need you in Braavos, pronto."  
That took her attention.  
Braavos.  
This was about the mission.  
This was about Modo.  
"On my way."  
She rushed out of the room and through the hallways, her thoughts already completely out of control.  
Already assuming the worst.  
He was dead.  
Oh god, she'd lost him before he really could become hers.

_No_.

No assumptions.  
Modo had taught her that.  
Never make assumptions without knowing the whole story.  
Without knowing the whole truth.  
Sure, no problem.  
Not when he was still safe on this base.  
Not when he was lying safely next to her in bed.  
But now… Now he was out there, and the first thing she did, was making assumptions.  
Of course she did. She was so scared of losing him.  
But she stopped herself. She needed to keep her head clear.  
They needed her for a reason. It was important she could make herself useful if necessary.  
So, she clenched her teeth with determination and burst inside Braavos.

The first thing she noticed, was that the screens were turned off.  
That's weird.  
Kiwi jumped at her feet when she saw Amira.  
"Hey girl, thanks for coming this fast", and she gave her a quick hug without really looking her in the eye.  
That made Amira even more suspicious.  
"What the hell is going on?"  
Stoker also rose on his feet.  
"Modo is hurt. And we were hoping that you could help us fix him", he said to the point, and Amira was grateful he did.  
No beating around the bush. That would be worse.  
She let out her breath while her heartbeat rose.  
"Is it… is it bad?"  
"We don't know that. Listen to this…"  
Stoker quickly told her what they had discovered and what happened to Modo.  
Amira slowly sat down on Stoker's chair, needing a little time to process all this.  
Oh my god, this was bad.  
The guys were miles away from here.  
There was no time to go to them or to get them back here to the base, where they had a complete infirmary at their disposal.  
"Oh my god…", she whispered, tears burning behind her eyes.

Stoker kneeled down in front of her and lay his hands on her knees.  
"Amira, I'm sorry to tell you this, but you need to grab yourself together. You ain't no help to Modo if you let your emotions in. Later, you'll have all the time of the world to fall apart. But not now. He needs ya."  
Amira stared at him and her first and primaire reaction was to slap him the face because of his callousness.  
But she soon realized he was right.  
Of course he was.  
She took a deep breath.  
"I need to see him. And I need to talk to Throttle."  
Stoker nodded while rising on his feet and patted her shoulder before turning to Kiwi, who was already turning the screens back on.  
But when she wanted to put the sound back on, she hesitated and looked at Amira.  
"I need to warn ya, it ain't no pretty sound…"  
"I'll manage."  
But when Modo's screams filled Braavos, when his voice raw of pain echoed against the walls, she still flinched.  
She looked at the screen, seeing that the guys were in a cave. Modo was lying on the floor, screaming loud.  
Throttle sat next to him, a helpless look on his face.  
Vinnie was pacing through the cave, his tail lashing through the air.  
Kiwi put the radio on speaker.  
"Throttle, I've got Amira for ya…"  
"What? I thought I told ya…", but Stoker cut him off.  
"It was my call, Throttle. For what it's worth, Kiwi didn't want to disobey ya, but I kinda forced her."  
"Okay…"  
"Throttle? Tell me everything that happened, from the moment the dart hit him, please?", Amira asked, her voice shaky and high.  
God dammit, keep it together, girl. Modo needs you.  
"We found him when the battle was already over, I have no idea when exactly he got hit… But he keeps begging to make the pain stop, but there's no indication whatsoever what causes his pain. No wounds, no blood, nothing. His whole body is cramped and he's sweating non stop."  
"Okay, give a me a minute…", Amira answered, closing her eyes in a attempt to focus.

Stoker used that time to inform Throttle about the Outsiders.  
The tan furred mouse was just as surprised as his coach.  
"Never thought I'd see the day… Are you sure? I mean, they weren't that hard to defeat…"  
"That's because we're the best, bro", Vinnie pointed out.  
"Maybe, but still…"  
"Maybe? Maybe?", Vinnie started, but Stoker cut him off.  
"Shut up, punk. Now ain't the time. Look, we may not know for sure, but you guys better keep your eyes open out there. You don't, and I repeat, you _don't_ wanna end up as one of their prisoners, you hear me?"  
"Loud and clear, oldtimer."  
"Yeah, we hear ya, Stoke…"

Amira was massaging her temples.  
"Pain, no wounds, poison, primitive rats…", she mumbled, her eyes closed.  
Suddenly, her eyes flew open and she jumped at her feet.  
"Oh god…"  
"What?", everybody asked in unison.  
"I know what they've used… Oh god, this is bad…", Amira breathed, holding her chest.  
"Man, the suspension is killing me here! Come on, doll, spill it!", Vinnie blared through the radio.  
"Kuolema. They used the juice from the Kuolema, which is a plant, by the way… When injected in its purest form, it affects the thalamus…"  
"The what?"  
"Vincent, can you please shut your mouth for like five minutes?!", Throttle warned the white furred mouse.  
"The thalamus is the part of the brain where all the information from the pain receptors are collected. Meaning; it makes Modo believe that he's in excruciating pain…"  
A deadly silence.  
"Jesus… So he _thinks_ he's in a lot of pain?", Stoker asked confused.  
"Yeah, and therefore he _is_", Amira nodded. "Pain is nothing more than a signal from the brains."  
"Is it deathly?", Kiwi asked hesitant.  
"Oh, it is deathly alright… How long he's gonna hold on depends on how long his heart is gonna last… There are stories of people who have killed themselves because they couldn't take it anymore."  
"Is there any way to stop it?", Throttle asked urgent.  
"There is… the plant Trifolium caries the antidote…"  
"The what?"  
"For _fuck _sake, things were a lot easier when you didn't speak, punk!", Stoker yelled into the radio.  
"Now that's just harsh, coach…", Vinnie murmured. "You want me to believe that you know exactly what she's talking about? I'm only trying to understand this whole..."  
"Vinnie,_ enough_!", Throttle growled, cutting him off.  
They heard Vinnie mutter something under his breath, but then, he grew silent.

"Amira… Is this plant still on Mars?", the tan furred mouse asked.  
"Yeah, it is… But it's hard to find…"  
"For me it's not. Send me a pic, babe. I'll go out and find the goddamn plant", Vinnie already opened his mouth again.  
"Vinnie, it's not safe, you can't go out there alone!", Kiwi called out.  
"I don't think there's much of a choice, sweetheart. Can't just let the big fella die, now can I? Besides, we're heroes! How hard can it be to find a plant and bring it back? All in a day's work, babe."  
"You forget that the Outsiders are still out there…", Kiwi reminded him.  
"Right where they belong, hehe. No biggie, doll. I can handle this."  
Amira was already sending a picture of the plant to Vinnie's bike. She could understand where Kiwi was coming from, but this was about Modo.  
He needed that plant. The sooner, the better.  
And Vinnie was right. He may have a ego bigger than Mars, he _did_ know what he was doing.  
He was a good soldier. And her only chance right now to save her beloved grey furred mouse.  
Call it selfish, but she would send _anyone_ out there for that matter, not really caring about their safety as long as she got Modo back.  
That's how much she loved him.  
Love is the most powerful emotion. It turns you into something you may not wanna be.  
It makes you do things which you thought you weren't capable of.  
But all that mattered right now, was to save Modo. No matter the cost.  
That wasn't selfish.  
That was love.

_Somewhere on Mars in a cave..  
_Vinnie mounted his bike, taking a good look at the picture.  
The plant was green with one pink flower. Not that hard to recognize. Nor that hard to remember.  
Man, this was gonna be a walk in the park.  
"Vinnie, this plant only grows in rocky environments. You won't find it in the open, so try to look closeby caves, mountains, etcetera", Amira's voice echoed through the radio.  
"Copy that, pretty lady."  
Throttle, who was still sitting next to Modo, looked up at Vinnie.  
"Be careful out there, Vincent, and I mean it. These rats are dangerous. So, I do _not_ want you to play the hero, just find that plant and come back. Understand?"  
"Ah, Throttle, lighten up…"  
"_Understand_?!"  
"Loud and clear!", Vinnie quickly said, closing his visor. "I'm gone!"

He sped outside, his bike roaring loudly.  
"_OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH, on the road again_!", he sang. "_I just can't wait to get on the road again!_"  
He wasn't singing because he was happy.  
Because he wasn't.  
He was worried sick about his bro.  
All he tried, was to override the horrifying screams that gave him goosebumps and made him feel nauseous.  
"By the gods, stop the singing, bro", Throttle's voice blasted through his radio.  
Vinnie rolled his eyes and hit the accelerator. Throttle always got cranky when he was worried, nothing new.  
But no need to provoke him. A angry Throttle was downright scary, ever for him.  
He tried to focus on his mission, but Modo's screams were a constant factor of distraction.  
So, the white furred mouse decided to turn the radio off. Nobody will notice, right?  
Throttle was _not_ gonna be amused if he did find out, but hey; it's very hard to focus while hearing your bro and friend scream in your ear because of excruciating pain.  
Man, he knew Modo was tough.  
The guy hardly blinked when he'd lost his right arm.  
There was no way Vinnie could imagine in how much pain he was right now.  
He gained even more speed, determined to find that stupid plant as soon as possible.  
Maybe Throttle didn't want him to play the hero, he couldn't ignore the fact he just was.  
A hero.  
Time to save his bro.  
And this time, no failure.

After a few minutes, he spotted a rock formation and he stopped his bike.  
Deciding to take a closer look, he jumped off his bike.  
Rocks. Sand. Some green stuff.  
His eyes were searching for a pink flower and he was so caught up in it, that he didn't notice the low beep that his bike gave.  
However, he _did_ notice a soft wind going through his fur.  
He almost missed that too, but he knew what it meant.  
Someone was sneaking up on him.  
His hand slowly made its way to his leg holster and in one movement, he pulled out his gun and turned around.

_Ah._ Her again.

The female rat from earlier this day was standing a few meters away from him, this time aiming a crossbow at him.  
Man, talk about being stuck in the past...  
"Don't move!"  
"I won't… if you won't…", Vinnie smiled arrogant.  
For a moment, they just stood there, weapons aimed at each other.  
It suddenly turned out to be a bad idea to shut down his radio.  
Dammit, there was no time for this.  
"Listen sweetheart, as much as I would love to have a little chat with ya, I ain't got time for this. One of your _ancient_ _fossile_ friends poisoned my bro, and I can promise you this; no one's gonna stand in my way to save him. Including you…"  
His voice was low. Dangerously low. Threatening.  
But she didn't even flinch.  
Vinnie's finger made its way to the trigger.  
Permission to shoot to kill.  
Only as last resort.  
This was definitely one of these situations.  
And he was okay with it.  
No regrets.  
His finger slowly put pressure on the trigger…

But right before he took the shot, she lowered her crossbow and threw it on the ground.  
"Okay, okay, you win", she said with that husky voice.  
Vinnie narrowed his eyes and studied her face.  
But next to a swollen eye caused by him earlier this day, she seemed to be genuine.  
"I always win", he said shortly and lowered his gun.  
"Sure. Luckily for you, I'm not here to kill you."  
Her hand slid into a small bag that was tight around her hips and Vinnie's grip around his gun tightened, not really sure what she was up to.  
But she pulled out a small object and threw it towards him.  
"Here."  
Vinnie catched it and looked at it.  
He almost dropped it again, his heart skipping a beat.  
Holy, it was a syringe, filled with a pink liquid.  
Sweat started to form on his forehead and his fur bristled.  
But he managed to keep his cool.  
I mean, rat or no rat, she was a _girl_.  
And no way he was gonna have a mental breakdown in front of a girl.  
Only Kiwi had that privilege.

"What's this?"  
"The antidote. Give it to your friend and he'll be fine within a few minutes."  
"How do I know that I can trust ya? For all I know, he'll be _dead_ within a few minutes…", he asked suspiciously.  
"Guess you'll have to take my word for it."  
"I think I need a little bit more than just your word, sweetheart."  
"It's all I have. Listen, I heard your brown friends message. You'll find what you're looking for at Stonehenge. Or, what's left of it."  
She turned around and mounted her bike.  
"Wait, why are you helping us?", Vinnie quickly asked confused before she could leave.  
The female rat started her bike and winked at him.  
"Guess you were right after all. I _do_ like you."  
And with that, she popped a wheelie and drove away, leaving Vinnie speechless behind.  
Yeah, speechless.

"Any word on Vinnie?", Throttle asked impatiently, still sitting next to his moaning bro.  
"Negative. I have the slight discomforting feeling that he turned off his radio…", Kiwi answered hesitant.  
Throttle let out a low growl in annoyance. Man, this was a mess, alright.  
All he could do was sit here and wait, keeping an eye on Modo in the meantime, who was still suffering from the effects of the poison.  
He felt helpless and that was something he didn't like.  
At all.  
"Dammit, that stubborn m…", he started, but then…  
"Honeeeeey, I'm hooooome!"  
"Never mind. He's back, Kiwi."  
Throttle looked at the white furred mouse who jumped off his bike.  
"From all the moments we have, you pick_ this one_ to turn off your radio!", he snapped at him.  
"You were the one telling me you didn't like my tune", the white furred mouse answered with a big grin.  
"Why are you smiling, Vincent?", Throttle asked tiredly.  
I mean, there was absolutely nothing funny about this whole situation.  
"Because I have something that will get the big fella back on his feet in no time", and he gave Throttle the syringe.  
The tan furred mouse stared at it and then looked up.  
"Where did you get this?"  
"One of the rats gave it to me."  
"And you're really _that_ naive to think that this is the antidote?"  
"Trust me. It is."  
Vinnie was, of course, not naive at all. Some would even call him paranoid.  
But he felt that the female rat did have good intentions. It was a feeling, and no words could explain it.  
So he didn't even try. But he knew. He just knew.  
He'd learned in the past that he needed to trust on his instinct. And so he did.  
Throttle, on the other hand...  
Throttle wasn't convinced.

"No way I'm gonna inject something into one of my bro's without knowing what it is. And certainly not something that's handed over by the enemy, the ones who created this whole situation in the first place!"  
Vinnie was about to retort, but suddenly Modo let out another scream and his armcannon popped out.  
"I… can't… take this… anymore…", he growled and he slowly raised his arm.  
"No, big fella, don't!", and Throttle dropped the syringe while grabbing Modo's arm, an attempt to stop him from blowing his head off.  
But the grey furred giant was strong. The strongest of the three of them.  
"A little help here, Vincent!", Throttle gasped while using all his weight to hold Modo's metal arm on the ground, but he hardly managed.  
"Modo, please, stop!"  
Vinnie looked at the syringe, then he looked at Modo. The big guy looked like shit, alright, and that was understatement.  
He then looked back at the syringe again.

Dammit, he _hated _needles...

"Vincent, snap out of it!"  
And the white furred mouse did.  
He took a deep breath and grabbed the syringe. In one movement, he pulled the cab off, rammed the needle in Modo's left arm and pushed the piston down.  
Modo screamed again, one last horrifying scream and then, his body completely relaxed. His one eye rolled back in his head and he let out his breath.  
Throttle let go off his arm and stared at Modo, sitting on hands and knees.  
"No, no, no… Vin, what have you done?", he breathed.  
Vinnie noticed he was still having the syringe in his hand and he quickly dropped it, as if it was on fire all of a sudden.  
He'd followed his instinct. And he still was convinced he was right.  
But it was a risk. One hell of a risk.

Suddenly, Modo gasped for air and jerked upright. He looked dazed around him.  
"Oh momma, what train hit me?", he then moaned, feeling every muscle in his body.  
Throttle and Vinnie shared a look, a smile on their face.  
"Welcome back, big fella. How are ya feeling?", Throttle asked relieved.  
"As if Limburger hugged me while sitting on me…"  
"Ha, he's back, alright", Vinnie smiled.  
Throttle, now knowing for sure the big guy was okay, looked up at him.  
"Jesus, you took one hell of a risk, Vin. Man… But I'm glad you did and that it worked out the way it did."  
"Pfuh, of course it did. I knew exactly what I was doing, ya know…", Vinnie answered casually while rubbing his fingernails over his fur.  
"Why did the rats gave it to ya in the first place?"  
"Because she liked me. Can't blame her, though…"  
"What the hell are you guys talking about?", Modo asked, rubbing his neck.  
"Modo! Modo, are you okay?", Amira's voice echoed through the radio.  
"Next to a body that feels like it's been run over by a truck, I'm fine. Oh momma, I thought my days were numbered…"  
"Take a day off, rookies. Get some rest, especially you, big guy", Stoker said.

"_Oh_! I almost forgot; the rat who gave me the antidote, also told me that in Stonehenge we will find what we're looking for", Vinnie suddenly said, bouncing on his feet.  
Modo and Throttle stared at him.  
"You almost forg… honestly, Vincent, that's more than just a small detail…", Throttle sighed, but with a small smile around his lips.  
"Yeah well, I was kinda busy with saving the day."  
"Stonehenge, huh? According to the map, that's still a two days drive, guys. I've mapped all the hideouts, and the route is straight through enemy territory", Kiwi told them.  
"No biggie. We can handle them", Vinnie answered arrogant.  
"Sure. But what if… let's just say, hypothetical speaking, you'll find the prisoners, how are you gonna get them here?"  
"That part is already taken care of, Kiwi", Stoker intervened. "There's a truck with a team standing standby, ready to roll out. The truck was part of the next step in this mission, but some things you just can't predict. This information is too important to ignore."  
"But it will take days before the truck will reach Stonehenge…", Kiwi mused.  
"I know. We'll figure something out. But let's not get too much ahead of us, beautiful. First things first; find the prisoners."

The next two days, the mice made their way through the rough deserts of Mars to Stonehenge.  
They run into rats and Sand Raiders, even a Saber Squad.  
But like Vinnie said, nothing they couldn't handle.  
Modo was, next to myalgia, feeling like his old self.  
Yes, Vinnie took one hell of a risk, but he was glad he did.  
The pain he had felt was horrific, so gruesome that only death seemed the way out.  
But luckily, Vinnie did the one thing he always did; being stubborn.  
Of course, the white furred mouse reminded him almost ten times a day that it was him who had saved him.  
But Modo was fine with it. He did save him, after all.

Finally, after two and a half days driving and fighting, they spotted Stonehenge.  
Well… what was left of it.  
"There it is, bro's", Throttle said while looking at the city that was below them.  
They were standing on one of the mountains that surrounded the ancient and once beautiful city.  
"Stonehenge."  
"Looks more like a ghost town to me", Vinnie murmured.  
"Yeah well, what did you expect? The Plutarkians stripmined the whole planet…", Modo answered absently, looking down.  
He had been to Stonehenge once, with his beloved grey furred momma.  
It used to be a beautiful city, full with culture and ancient secrets. Now it was nothing more than a pile of rocks.  
Oh momma.  
"Well, ghost town or not, what are we waiting for? Let's scoop it out!", and Vinnie revved his bike.  
"Hold it!", Throttle stopped him. "We can't just dive in."  
"But that's kinda what we do...", Vinnie started, but Throttle gave him such a warning glare, he closed his mouth again.  
"Kiwi, can you explore the place a little?", the tan furred mouse asked over the radio.  
"Of course. Hang back and relax, boys. I'm going in", the human girl's voice answered over the radio.  
"You're enjoying this far too much, sweetheart", Vinnie muttered under his breath, crossing his arms before his chest, clearly not amused.  
"Ah, quit your whining, macho mouse. Before you know it, it's your turn again", she teased him back.

The drone dove down and the mice watched it till it was outta sight.  
"And now…. we wait…", Throttle smiled and leaned back on his bike, grabbing a protein bar.  
"Ah man…", Vinnie sighed. Waiting and having patience weren't really his best qualities.  
But there wasn't exactly a choice right now.  
So, he lay down on his bike and closed his eyes, in the hope he could catch some z's.  
I mean, time goes a lot faster when you sleep. One of his many strategies to kill the time.  
Was he good, or what?  
Of course he was.  
He was Vinnie van Wham, after all.  
The best.  
Always has been. Always will be.  
_Duh._

_On the base…  
_Kiwi navigated the drone over the ruined city, but so far no movement. Her heart felt sore when she saw the devastation that has been done by the Plutarkians.  
Jax had showed her pictures of how the city once looked like and it was breath taken.  
But not anymore.  
Buildings were crumbled into dust, big pieces of rocks were the only sign they once stood proudly upright.  
A dried up fountain, that used to be majestic.  
Small roads, now filled with holes and covered with junk and rocks.  
Man, this was heartbreaking...

Suddenly, her eye caught something. It was a small building, one of the few that were still upright.  
The driveway that led to the door was cleaned, she could tell.  
Hmmm…  
She switched the camera to heat vision and breathed in sharply.  
Bingo.  
"Guys? I found a building that isn't abandoned…", she said into the radio.  
"How many?", Throttle asked in return.  
"Not sure… At least five guards at the front door, six at the back and oh… also two on the roof, I see now…"  
"Fair odds", Vinnie chuckled.  
"And prisoners?", Modo asked.  
"Not sure if it are prisoners, guys. I can only see blurry red spots that marks a body. But there are about ten in the middle of the building."  
"Great job, Kiwi. Can you send us the coordinates? I think it's time we're going on a little house visit."  
"Not yet. I've only seen less than a half of the city, we don't know if there are more…"  
"Only one way to find out, sweetheart", Vinnie cut her off.  
She rolled her eyes. Sure, she was glad he was back to normal.  
But that meant he was, again, a huge pain in the ass sometimes.  
"Fine, silly me. I almost forgot you guys prefer to dive in without knowing too much", she answered sarcastic, yielding her a amused chuckle from Jax.  
"You know us too well, doll."  
Kiwi shook her head while rolling her eyes, but she did send the data to Throttle's bike.  
No sense in arguing with them, that was something she'd learned the hard way.

_Closeby Stonehenge..  
_***BEEP BEEP*  
**"Got it. Alright, bro's. Let's ROCK…"  
"...and RIDE!"  
They drove down the mountain.  
"_OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH… Do your ears hang low, do they wobble to and fro_?", Vinnie started to sing.  
"_Can ya tie 'em in a knot, can ya tie 'em in a bow_?", Modo continued at the top of his lungs.  
"_Can ya throw 'em over ya shoulder like a continental soldier_…", Throttle sang with his husky voice.  
"..._do your ears haaaang looooooow_?", they finished in unison, laughing loud.  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, one more time!', Modo rumbled, whirling around a big rock.  
"And ah one… ah two… ah one, two, three", Vinnie counted.  
"_OOOOOOOOOH… Do your ears hang_… _wow_!.", they started but a huge explosion right ahead of them stopped them, the strong shockwave almost knocked them off their bikes.  
"Time for the flip side, bro's….", Throttle said when he got his bike back under control.  
"IT'S TAAAAAIL WHIPPIN' TIIIIIIME!", his bro's joined him.  
"Let's ROCK…", the tan furred mouse started, popping a wheelie.  
"...and…", Vinnie smiled, also popping a wheelie, but Modo was distracted by a small scratch on his bike.  
The big guy opened his visor and licked his finger, before trying to brush it away with a squeaky sound.  
"...AND…", Vinnie said meaninfull, trying to give a hint, still on his rear tire, but the grey furred giant was still busy, a frown on his face.  
"...AND…", Throttle tried, but still nothing.

"MODO!"

Modo's head jerked up.  
"OH! Sorry, bro's", and he also popped a wheelie.  
"...and RIDE!" and they sped away.  
"Ya know, it's getting harder and harder to make a really good exit these day", Vinnie complained, shaking his head while giving Modo a glare.  
Modo smiled sheepishly, but Throttle cleared his throat.  
"Okay, boys, time to get serious. The building is around that corner. I get the feeling they already know we're here…"  
"For real? What made you think that? Was it the massive explosion, maybe?", Vinnie chuckled.  
"Modo, you take the back. Vincent, you come with me", Throttle ordered, but when they flew around the corner, they hit the brakes.  
"No way…", Modo breathed.  
"Welly well well…", Vinnie said softly between clenched teeth.  
"If it ain't the most wanted big cheese…", Throttle sighed.

Limburger was standing in front of the building, an army of rats behind him, and a very smugly smile on his face. He was clearly up to something.  
Vinnie's hand slowly reached for his gun.  
This was the moment he'd been waiting for.  
Time for some payback.  
"Vincent, don't. Control yourself", Throttle hissed in the radio, his eyes glued on Limburger.  
"He killed Mireya…", Vinnie whispered back, his voice dangerously low.  
"I know, but first things first… We need to find out what he is up to, because it's clear he has a plan. I promise you he won't get away this time, okay? But try, just for once, to have a little patience…"  
Vinnie sighed and grabbed his handlebar again.  
Limburger's grin grew even bigger and held up his hand, holding a black device.  
"Very wise decision, rodent. You see, if you kill me, my finger might slip off this button", and he showed how his thumb was holding a red button on the black device. "... and if it does, this whole building will be blown to the seventh galaxy. Including the attendees who are inside at this very moment."  
"So? How do we even know that the people who are inside are one of us?", Vinnie snapped at him.  
"My dear boy, I'm so glad you ask. You see, I've talked to a few of them. And I'm sure you three want to meet them… Or… welcome them back... hehehe... "

* * *

Oops, I did it again.  
Don't you just looooove cliffhangers?

Bwhahaha.

No, you don't.  
I know.  
But I do.  
Sorry, hehehe.

What is Limburger up to, and more important, who are inside that building?  
Well, stay tuned and find out. ;)

Feel free to leave a review and thanks for reading my story.

Later dudes, till next time!


	5. Chapter 5

Hey you guys…

Thanks for the reviews and a special thanks for the kind words and concern.  
That's very sweet of ya!

I'm not at my best at this moment, but I hope that it will get better one day.  
I just keep fighting, it's not that I have another choice…  
#fuckdepression

Anywayz, on to the next chapter. Time to find out who's inside that building.  
Enjoy! ^^

* * *

**Chapter 5**

The mice shared a look. What if he was telling the truth? What if there were people inside that building that they knew?  
Vinnie gritted his teeth.  
"How do we even know you're telling the truth? I mean, you ain't exactly a honest man… or fish. You've deceived us before, why not again?", he snarled, crossing his arms before his chest.  
"He's telling the truth, guys…", Kiwi's voice came over the radio, sounding defeated. "I managed to get the drone inside, and there are about ten mice chained up inside that building.."  
"Fuck", Vinnie muttered under his breath.  
He knew what was next and he was not amused.  
I repeat, he was _not _amused.  
Throttle sighed and raised his hands, so did his bro's.  
See? Not amused.  
"Okay, you've got us now, lever lips. So let the others go. This is between you and us."  
"Oooohh, but I beg to differ, my dear mouse. I mean, they are my bargaining chip. My only leverage to make sure that you three will behave... Grab them!"  
The rats came into movement and the mice braced themselves, but suddenly and completely out of nowhere, arrows rained down from the sky, taking down most of the rats.  
Vinnie looked over his shoulder and a big grin appeared on his face.  
The Outsiders were driving towards them, howling like souls in torment.  
And they were leaded by none other than the female rat.  
"AAAAOOWWW, now that's what I call help in a unexpected way!"  
"I hear ya, bro. Modo, you go inside to free the prisoners. Me and Vinnie will take care of Limburger", Throttle ordered.  
"Copy that", Modo nodded and drove towards the building.

"Come on, Vin, we've got ourselves a fish to catch", the tan furred mouse said darkly while closing his visor.  
"You've been reading my mind, bro. And this time, no mercy", Vinnie responded, his voice low.  
Limburger, who had fled the scene from the moment he had seen the first arrow coming down, was running through the ruined city.  
He was still holding the black device, knowing that this was his only way out if one of the mice managed to catch him.  
What, of course, didn't take long.  
Roaring engines, the sound of shrieking brakes, the smell of burning rubber and before he knew it, Vinnie was standing in front of him and Throttle behind him.  
"Going somewhere, cheese breath?", Vinnie smiled evilly, spinning his gun around his finger.  
"We weren't done talking yet, Limburger. Didn't your mother never tell ya that it's very rude to just walk away in the middle of a conversation?", Throttle asked with a small smile around his lips.  
Not a friendly smile, though.  
No, even Throttle had it with that big fat ugly fish.  
He'd caused too many destruction and deaths.  
Mireya was the final straw, alright. So was Rimfire.

Limburger pulled on his collar, sweat already starting to form on his forehead. But he wasn't ready to surrender yet.  
"You seem to forget that I am still holding the ace in the hand!", he called out, waving with the black device.  
But before any of them could process it, a arrow pierced his hand and the device at the same time.  
The big fish screamed in pain and looked at his hand, blood already streaming out.  
The arrow was still in there, making sure he couldn't remove his thumb from the red button.  
"No!", and he fell on his knees, holding his hand while crying in pain.  
Vinnie looked up and saw the female rat standing on one of the buildings, well, the ruins of one of the buildings.  
He smiled and tapped two fingers against his helmeted head as a thank-you.  
She smiled back and nodded, before she turned her bike and drove away.  
Throttle followed her with his eyes and then looked at Vinnie.  
"I'm not sure what it is exactly that you did to impress her, but apparently, it worked ", he chuckled.  
"What can I say? The ladies dig me ", Vinnie smiled arrogant.  
Throttle rolled his eyes, but with a smile.  
Which slowly faded when his gaze landed on the wounded and crying fish on the ground.  
"Now what are we gonna do with you…?"

In the meantime, Modo made it inside the building with help from the Outsiders.  
It felt awkward, strange and against everything he was to fight alongside rats, but now wasn't the time to let his hatred for rats, which run very deep by the way, stand in the way. He would do everything that was necessary to get their people out.  
The building was a mess inside. Moldy walls, holes in the ceiling and enough junk to fill a junkyard on Earth.  
But he hardly noticed. All he saw, was the group of then mice that was sitting in the middle of the room, chained together.  
Man, he had to admit, although he'd agreed with the mission, he hadn't really expected to _actual_ find prisoners.  
But here they were. Stoker was right.

He stepped off his bike and approached the group with caution, not wanting to scare them.  
Only god knew how much they'd went through.  
"Hey there, citizens. I'm here to help ya…", he said softly while stopping in front of them.  
They all looked up at him, most of them with empty eyes.  
Oh momma..  
His eye wandered quickly over the faces, but he didn't recognize one.  
So, again, Limburger had played with their heads.  
Unbelievable.  
His armcannon popped out and the whole group shrunk, flattening their ears.  
"Wow, wow, easy. It's okay, I'm not gonna hurt ya folks. Just need to remove the chains…", Modo quickly said and the mice relaxed a little, but they still looked up at him suspiciously.  
Modo couldn't really blame them. He carefully shot the chains.  
"There ya go. Free to go."  
One male mouse with a blond fur slowly rose on his feet while rubbing his sore wrists.  
"T-t-thank you…", he stuttered, clearly still not at ease.  
"No problem. Now, I need y'all to wait here, I need to talk to the base about the plan to get you guys outta here as soon as possible."  
He turned around and wanted to reach out to Kiwi, when he suddenly heard a low voice behind him.  
"M-Modo? Is… is that you, boy?"  
The grey furred giant froze and slowly turned around.  
Another male mouse was standing close to him, his fur dark grey.  
He was about Stoker's age and his eyes were the deepest blue.  
It suddenly hit him like a sledgehammer.  
He knew these eyes. He'd seen them once.  
A very long time ago.  
No way...  
"D-d-dad?"

"Stoker, come in", Throttle said into the radio, keeping an close eye on Limburger.  
And on Vinnie, who apparently was suffering from his itchy trigger finger syndrome again.  
But Throttle first wanted to ask Stoker what they were gonna do with the big cheese and had ordered the hyper white furred mouse to stand down for now.  
"Yeah, Throttle, what's up?"  
"We've got Limburger. What do you want us to do with him?"  
A long silence.  
Clearly, the leader of the resistance needed some time to think about that.  
Throttle couldn't actually blame him. Enemy or not, it was still a decision about someone's life.  
Who said that playing God was easy?

Vinnie was tapping with his fingers on his bike impatiently while Throttle was talking to Stoker.  
Limburger was still lying on the floor, closeby his bike, crying in pain.  
But Vinnie couldn't care less. It was the least he deserved after killing his sister.  
Man, his hands were itching to kill him, right here, right now.  
But he couldn't disobey a direct order from Throttle.  
He just couldn't.  
"Copy that, Stoke. Throttle out."  
Vinnie looked up at his tan furred bro, a expected look on his face.  
Throttle sighed.  
"Stoke told me that Modo has managed to free the prisoners and that the truck is already on its way to us. They take a short cut and expect to be here tomorrow after sundown…"  
"Yeah, so? What about the big cheese?", Vinnie demanded, not liking the direction which this conversation was taking at all.  
"I've got strict orders to take Limburger with us back to the base. Stoker will decide his fate there…"  
Throttle braced himself, knowing that this was the last thing his younger bro wanted to hear.  
But hey, orders are orders. His hands were tied.

"Say what? _Come on_! Can you believe this shit?", Vinnie exploded, his fur bristled. "Is he already getting demented or what? I mean, has he forgotten what happened the last time when that ugly finn face was a prisoner? He _escaped_, god dammit! And therefore, Mireya and Rimfire are now _dead_! I know it's not our style, trust me, I know, but if someone needs to die today, it's _him_!"  
Vinnie pointed at Limburger, breathing heavily.  
Throttle let him rage, knowing that Vinnie was actually right.  
This probably wasn't the best decision, but it was Stoker.  
He couldn't disobey Stoker.  
He just couldn't.  
"Vin, you're right, but orders are orders. There's nothing I can do right now. We just need to keep an close eye on him and if he only thinks about trying to escape, well… Then he's all yours."

Vinnie narrowed his eyes, his left ear twitched.  
But then, he let out his breath.  
He knew Throttle's hands were tied, he knew that the tan furred mouse couldn't disobey Stoker, just as he himself couldn't disobey Throttle.  
But man, this was frustrating, alright.  
"Fine", the white furred mouse grumbled and jumped off his bike, grabbing Limburger by his jacket.  
"But lemme tell ya this, _sweetheart_… If you try to make a run for it, I'll hunt ya down and blow your fucking head off, you hear me? That's a promise… and trust me, I _always_ keep my word...", he growled between clenched teeth.  
Limburger just nodded, a dazed look on his face. The pain in his hand was clearly overwhelming.  
Throttle joined them and tied Limburgers hands in front of his body. He looked at the arrow, but decided to leave it there.  
Vinnie let the fish go and walked back to his bike.  
"You take him, I don't trust myself right now", he said over his shoulder, his tail giving away his anger.  
"Come on, cheese face. Time to face the music", Throttle sighed and dragged the big fish with him to his bike.  
Man, the guy was heavy, alright.  
He pushed a button on his bike and his sidecar folded out. The tan furred mouse dropped Limburger in it and mounted his bike.  
"Let's get back to Modo."

"You… you remember me?", the old grey furred male breathed, looking at his son.  
Modo slowly nodded, still a little in shock.  
But that soon turned into anger.  
He hadn't really thought about it for a long time now, but seeing his father standing right in front of him, made very clear that he was still blaming him.  
"Oh, I remember, alright… I remember how you left us, without saying goodbye, to never come back again", he finally managed to bring out, his eye glowing red.  
His father closed his eyes for a moment.  
"I can explain everything, Modo... ", he started, but the grey furred giant cut him off.  
"Now is not the time nor the place, and I ain't sure if I even _wanna_ hear it."  
He turned his attention back to the group and gestured them to follow him.  
"Come on, y'all, let's get ya outside."  
And he marched outside, followed by the group.

Oh momma, could you believe this?  
Of all the people he wanted to have back in his life so desperately, he ends up with the one man he never wanted to see again.  
Great. Just great.  
_It's still family, Modo Maverick… the last one relative alife…  
_The voice, that sounded awfully like his momma's, echoed through his head and he shook it angrily.  
No. This man ain't no family.  
That was a decision the man himself had made years ago, by leaving his own wife, son and daughter.  
Some things weren't meant to be forgiven.  
And this was one of them.

Vinnie and Throttle arrived at the building, where they found Modo waiting for them with the group of now ex prisoners.  
The Outsiders were nowhere to be found, probably already gone.  
Throttle stopped his bike and looked at his grey furred bro.  
He was upset, he could tell.  
He wasn't even trying to be polite and talk to the prisoners.  
No, instead, he was sitting on a rock, staring into the distance with a slight frown on his face.  
Hmmm…  
"You okay, big fella?", he asked while stepping off his bike.  
Modo looked at him, a sad expression on his face.  
"Not sure, bro, not sure…"  
"What's up?"  
Modo looked over his shoulder to the group and let out a heavy sigh.  
"I eh… I know one of the prisoners… and it ain't exactly a happy reunion…"  
Throttle followed his gaze, studying the faces of the small group.  
But he didn't recognize anyone.  
"Who are you talking about?"  
"My father…"  
Throttle breathed in sharply.  
"No way... "

He knew the man had left when Modo was still a kid, almost too young to really understand what was going on.  
But while growing up, Modo had told him many times that he was missing something.  
A father.  
Someone to talk to. To talk about things you didn't want to talk about with your mother or sister.  
Throttle's father had taken that place, back then.  
And he knew the grey furred giant was grateful for it.  
But it just wasn't the same.  
"Way…", Modo sighed. "He wanted to explain, but I'm not sure if I even wanna listen to him, ya know?"  
"Yeah, I know… Man, this is… Maybe you should give it some time, big fella. He is, after all, the last family you have left... "  
"Yeah... "

Modo then spotted Limburger in Throttle's sidecar.  
"The big cheese is still alive?", he asked surprised.  
"Yeah… Stoke wants us to bring him back to the base, god knows why."  
"Oh momma… what if he escapes again?"  
"Vinnie said the same thing."  
"Our hyper bro doesn't seem all too happy about it", Modo mentioned while looking at Vinnie, who was sulking on his bike.  
"Nope. Can't really blame him, though. Anyway, let's get the group to a safe place for now. The truck will be here tomorrow."

_On the base…  
_Kiwi leaned back in her chair, letting out her breath.  
The guys had found another cave that was empty and therefore safe.  
All they needed to do now, was to wait till the truck would arrive, which the guys were gonna escort back to the base.  
That meant she was gonna see her macho mouse within a few days and she couldn't be happier.  
God, she missed him so much. Even if they could talk, even if she could follow him every move because of the camera, it just wasn't the same.  
She couldn't feel his soft fur.  
She couldn't smell his lovely scent.  
She couldn't kiss him.  
Jax saw the dreamy expression on her face and snickered.  
"You're drooling."  
Kiwi's head jerked up and she wiped off her mouth, but when she looked at her sleeve, it was still dry.  
"I am not!"  
"Well, you would be if I hadn't said anything…"  
Kiwi punched him on the arm, but with a smile on her face.  
"You're the worst…", she giggled, but suddenly, a sharp pain in her abdomen made her gasp for air and she bend over.  
Shit. Not again.  
Not now.

Jax saw it happen and jumped at his feet.  
"Jesus, Kiwi, you okay?", he asked worried while laying a hand on her back.  
Kiwi wrapped her arms around her waist, her eyes closed and breathing heavily.  
"I… god, I dunno…", she stuttered, but the pain wouldn't let her speak.  
"I'm gonna go call a doc, this ain't good", Jax said firmly, but Kiwi grabbed his arm to stop him.  
"No, wait!"  
She took a few deep breaths and the pain slowly faded, till there was only a lingering sensation left.  
"It's already gone", she panted, wiping off her forehead.  
Jax narrowed his eyes. He wasn't sure if she was keeping her chin up because of him, or that maybe the pain was really gone.  
"Are you sure? I mean, I didn't look like…", but Kiwi cut him off.  
"I'm fine, Jax. This is going on for a couple of days now, it comes and it goes. No big deal. It's probably time for my period anyway…"  
"Okaaaaay, too much information for this mouse", Jax called out, his hands covering his big ears. But then his face grew serious again.  
"But really, Kiwi… Maybe you should let the doc check you, ya know, just in case?", but Kiwi shook her head.  
"No, it's nothing. It will pass."  
"If you say so…", but Jax wasn't convinced and decided to keep an close eye on her.  
It was obvious she was being stubborn here and he wasn't sure why.  
But she was his friend. And he always took care of his friends.  
No exception.

That night, Kiwi was lying in her bed.  
Neo and Flash had insisted to take the night shift and Kiwi suspected that Jax had something to do with it.  
In the few weeks they had worked on this mission together, it has become clear that Jax had a slightly overprotective side, and that he always found a reason to be worried about her.  
It was cute and tiring at the same time.  
The abdominal pains were gone for now, but maybe Jax was right.  
Maybe she needed to go see one of the doc's.  
But something was holding her back.  
That something had everything to do with her being a human.  
A alien.  
What if they couldn't help her? What if they didn't understand her body?

But the silver lining was that Ruby had no problems at all with treating the mice, back on Earth.  
Kiwi remembered her telling her that the mice their bodies weren't that much different from a human's body.  
Of course, they healed much faster.  
They needed the triple dosage medication.  
Their brains apparently worked differently, with the whole telepathy thing.  
But next to that…

Kiwi sighed. She knew that the doc's on the base were experienced. She would be in good hands.  
But she still got hold back.  
Besides, it was only a little pain once in a while, nothing more, nothing less.  
She wasn't feeling sick whatsoever.  
Telling Jax it was time for her period was a lie, considering the fact that her monthly periods had stopped ever since the accident.  
The doc on Earth thought it was stress back then.  
She couldn't care less.  
She didn't miss it.  
And she wasn't ready yet to figure out if she even wanted to have kids one day.  
_Ha.  
_As if that was even possible when you were in a interplanetary relationship.  
Anyway. It doesn't matter.  
The pain was probably stress too.  
She missed her macho mouse.  
All she needed, was to feel his strong arms around her body and hear him say her name.  
And then, everything would be okay again.  
If only…

_In a cave closeby Stonehenge…  
_Modo was sitting outside, looking at the stars.  
Throttle and Vinnie were sitting next to him, eating one of the last protein bars they had left.  
"Man, I sure as hell miss hotdogs…", Vinnie mumbled, chewing on the tenacious food.  
"I hear ya, bro…", Throttle sighed, taking a sip of the juice to wash it away.  
The group of freed prisoners were all sleeping in the cave.  
They hadn't said much, all still having a hard time with believing that they were really free this time.  
Throttle had talked to every one of them, checking if they needed immediate medical attention.  
But, although they were all in bad shape, it was nothing that couldn't wait.  
Vinnie and Throttle hadn't recognized any of the group either, including Modo's dad.  
But then again, they had never met him. Limburger was also in the cave, surrounded by three bikes which got strict orders to kill the fish if he tried to escape.

Modo hadn't showed his face inside since he'd parked his bike and went outside to sit at the entrance, under the motto; someone needs to keep watch.  
That they had the drone to do that job for them, seemed to be forgotten.  
Well, Vinnie, of course, had tried to remember his bro about that small fact, but Throttle had stopped him in time, knowing that the big fella needed some time to think.  
Vinnie quickly catched on after that and when they were sure the former prisoners were safe and sound, they had joined their bro.  
And so here they were, sitting in the cold Martian night under the stars.

Throttle looked at Modo, who was deep in thoughts.  
Man, it must have been a shock for the poor guy. He was under the impression that his father was dead for years now.  
Well, he was to Modo anyway.  
He wondered what the big fella was gonna do.  
Vinnie wiggled on the rock he was sitting on, not able to sit still for less than a minute.  
He wanted to see Kiwi.  
So badly.  
Their goodbye wasn't exactly… ideal.  
She'd practically told him that she was okay with him giving up.  
That girl really was something.  
She just knew him so well. She understood him completely. And that was gold.  
He was glad he had been able to snap outta it.  
Grateful that Modo had triggered him, exactly at the right moment.  
And now, now he knew he was going home.  
The mission was far from over, he knew that, but for now they were going home.  
And he couldn't wait.  
All he wanted was to pull that stubborn, beautiful, understanding and loving little human girl in his arms.  
And of course, the one thing he hated the most was standing in his way to go back right now.  
_Waiting.  
_Ugh.

He glanced at Modo, still wiggling to find a comforting position, but his body was too restless.  
Man, the things he would do to have Kiwi in his arms and fuck her brains out.  
Down and dirty. Just the way they both liked it.  
Wait, whut? That escalated quickly.  
Focus, van Wham.  
Right.  
The big guy had found his father. That was beyond crazy.  
But it was family, right?  
He would do everything to turn back time, to get at least one relative back into his life.  
And here was Modo, battling with himself if he was gonna forgive his father for leaving.  
Sure, Vinnie could understand where he was coming from.  
I mean, leaving your family behind without saying a word to never come back, ain't exactly on the list of things that were easily forgiven.  
Heck, he knew himself. He wasn't one that easily forgave. And he sure as hell never forgot.  
But with this war… After all the losses, all the misery, all the pain…  
After losing Rimfire…  
"Modo, I think you should give him a chance", the white furred mouse blurted out without thinking.  
Oops.  
Dammit, him and his big mouth.  
I mean, Modo never really appreciated his point of view with these rather delicate matters.  
So, he braced himself.

Modo's head jerked up and he looked at his younger bro, but instead of anger, Vinnie saw confusion and surprise written on the grey furred giant's face.  
"Is that what you think?", he slowly asked.  
Vinnie took a deep breath.  
Here goes nothing.  
"Yeah, I mean… I get that you're angry at him, for leaving, ya know… But… Well, I dunno… He's your only family you've got at this point… And well… I know I would give anything to have my family back, even if they weren't perfect…", he stuttered.  
Dammit, he sucked at this. Big time.  
Modo and Throttle shared a look and the tan furred mouse smiled friendly at his grey furred bro.  
"Never thought I would say this, but Vincent is right, big fella. Look, it's your decision, yours alone. And we'll have your back, no matter what. But after everything that happened, after losing Rimfire… Well, he's still your father. Family. And all I know is that family is what keeps us going."  
Vinnie nodded violently, agreeing with his older bro.  
Modo looked at them both and let out his breath.  
"I guess you're both right. I'll think about it, okay? That's all I can promise right now."  
"Take the time you need, bro", Throttle smiled and clapped him on the back while rising at his feet. "I'm beat, boys. See ya tomorrow."  
And he disappeared into the cave.

Modo gave Vinnie a amused look.  
"So there _is_ more inside that swelled head of yours beside ego after all", he teased.  
Vinnie eyes grew big.  
"Well, duh! You can't be the baddest mamma jammer from this side of the universe with only good looks and skills… Which I also have plentiful", he finished with a arrogant smile on his face, flexing his muscles.  
"Yeah, yeah, but still, bro… thanks."  
Vinnie immediately started to blush, his ego suddenly nowhere to be found.  
"Yeah, sure, any time, bro", he mumbled and gave Modo a shy smile.  
The grey furred giant laughed while shaking his head.  
"You're one of a kind, Vin. Night, bro", and still laughing softly, he followed Throttle into the cave, leaving Vinnie behind with his thoughts.  
Too restless to sleep, too tired to stay awake.  
Man, this was gonna be a looong night.

"Up and at 'm, fishface, it's time to go!"  
Vinnie grabbed the big fish by his jacket and dragged him outta the cave.  
Luckily for them, the truck was upgraded with a faster engine than usual, so it arrived early in the afternoon.  
And to Throttle's joy, Carbine was the one behind the wheel.  
"Hey there, stranger", she smiled while climbing outta the truck.  
Throttle looked up surprised when he heard that voice, but soon recovered and a big smile appeared on his tired face.  
"Carbine!"  
He ran over to her and scooped her in his arms, whirling her around.  
"Babe, I'm so happy to see you…", he whispered in her ear.  
"I can tell. But, likewise…", she smiled and kissed him.  
"Get a room", Vinnie teased while walking past them, dragging a not amused Limburger with him.  
"Just wait when you see Kiwi again, Vinnie", Carbine teased back, with a smile on her face.  
Even Vinnie couldn't ruin her mood right now.  
"Oh, trust me, when I do, you all wish it was us who got ourselves a room", and the white furred mouse wiggled his eyebrows while winking at Carbine.  
"Ugh, gross", but Throttle already claimed her mouth again, also determined to not let this happy moment getting ruined.

Vinnie was already facing another challenge, namely; getting Limburger into the truck.  
The fish hadn't said a word after they had captured him, and he refused to cooperate.  
And he was heavy. And Vinnie was only so big.  
"Yo, Modo, a little hand here!", the white furred mouse called out.  
Modo joined him and rubbed his chin.  
"Is it safe to put him with the others?", he asked, while looking over his shoulder to Throttle and Carbine, who broke off their kiss.  
"I guess it's fine, I mean, he's tied up and the truck has a open window to the cabine, so if he only tries something, I'll notice", Carbine answered that question.  
"Okay, if you say so", and Modo grabbed Limburger's jacket with his metal hand and threw him into the truck.  
The fish moaned, holding his wounded hand close to his body.  
"There ya go."

Modo's father suddenly popped up next to them.  
"Modo…", he started, but Modo cut him off.  
"Not now. I've decided to give ya a chance, a chance to explain, but not here. When we're back at the base, we'll talk."  
His father followed his son with his eyes when he walked to the rest of the group so he could help them to get in the truck and sighed.  
He then looked at Vinnie, who raised his hands.  
"Hey, don't look at me. I ain't your guy for this shit", and he quickly walked away, not wanting to interfere with Modo's family business.  
That wasn't his place, nor his quality.  
Last night, he'd told the big guy his opinion, and that was enough.  
The rest was up to Modo himself.  
When the rest of the group was installed in the back of the truck, the guys mounted their bikes and Carbine climbed behind the wheel.  
"Alright, you motorcycle mad men…", Vinnie started, popping a wheelie.  
"Let's ROCK…"  
"...and GO HOME!"

"_I'm coming hooooooome! I'm coming hooo-oooome! Yeah baby! Oh girl! To yooouuuu!_", Vinnie sang off key, driving behind the truck.  
"Oh momma, are we there yet?", Modo sighed, turning down the volume of his radio to protect his beloved eardrums against Vinnie's high pitched voice that blared through the speakers.  
"Nope…", Throttle also sighed.  
They were driving through the rough desert for a few hours now and so far no problems.  
Well, except for Vinnie's singing, that is.  
"Ya know, isn't it weird that we haven't seen any other Plutarkian next to the big cheese this entire mission?", Throttle suddenly asked.  
"Now you mention it… It is weird. Where are these fin faces hiding?", Modo answered.  
"Who cares? I sure don't miss them", Vinnie chuckled.  
"We should care, Vinnie", Throttle mentioned.  
"At least he stopped his singing", Modo said drily.  
"Ah, lighten up, Throttle. We'll find them. But first things first; going home to see my pretty lady."

"Hey rookies, how is the trip going so far?", Stoker asked through the radio, breaking in into their conversation.  
Throttle was about to answer, when suddenly the truck moved to the right, forcing him to make a sharp turn to avoid the truck was gonna crash into him.  
"What the… Carbine! What the hell is going on?!"  
No response. The truck came to halt with shrieking brakes.  
"Modo, check the group. Vinnie, help him", Throttle ordered while jumping off his bike.  
He ran towards the cabin and yanked open the door.  
His heart skipped a beat.  
"Carbine…", he breathed, while climbing inside.  
His beloved General was hanging in her seatbelt, her head resting on the wheel.  
Blood was dripping out of a nasty looking head wound.  
"No, babe, you okay?", and the tan furred mouse gently pushed her back against the seatback.  
Her eyes were closed, clearly unconscious, but she was still breathing.  
"You didn't think I would give up that easily, now did you, you repulsive vermin?", he suddenly heard Limburger's voice coming from the back of the truck.  
He gritted his teeth and planted a kiss on Carbine's head, before leaving her behind to see what the hell was going on.  
Limburger was already out of the truck, holding a grey furred mouse in his arms.  
The arrow, that had been in his hand when they loaded him in the truck, was now pulled out and the sharp point pricked into the mouse his neck.  
Throttle soon recognized the mouse as Modo's father and his heart sank.  
Dammit.

Vinnie was sitting on his bike, a few meters away, his blood boiling.  
But again, his hands were tied.  
God dammit, this was exactly why Stoker had made the wrong decision.  
This was so fucking frustrating and that was a understatement.  
He usually wasn't against taking prisoners instead of killing them, he knew what it could do to your soul.  
But Limburger was an exception.  
The fish was like weed, hard to kill and he always came back.  
This needed to be stopped. Right here. Right now.  
But, again, he had no other choice than to watch helplessly.  
"Let him go, you reeking cheese log! He's got nothing to do with this!", Modo growled angrily.  
Oh momma, pushing his father away was a thing he already regretted.  
What if Limburger killed him?  
What if he killed him without giving him the chance to explain himself to his only living son?  
Limburger just smiled, already walking away, forcing Modo's dad to walk with him.  
"I'm afraid that's not possible. Now, all be good a good mouse and just let me walk away from here, then he will remain unharmed… You have my word."  
"Your word means _nothing_!", Vinnie spit out.  
"Oh my dear boy… It's funny how good you already know me. Tata!" and he walked away, dragging Modo's father with him.

Vinnie grabbed his handlebars tightly. His heart was pounding in his chest.  
No way.  
No fucking way that that stinkfish, the murderer of his sister, was gonna walk away from here.  
Not again.  
"Throttle…", he hissed urgently, not knowing how long he was gonna be able to restrain himself.  
"Vinnie, I know, but we can't risk the life of Modo's father…", the tan furred mouse answered desperate.  
"Throttle is right, punk, no time for playing the hero now", Stoker agreed.  
"Limburger will kill him anyway…", the white furred mouse muttered under his breath, but luckily for him, Modo didn't hear it.  
Vinnie followed Limburger with his eyes, and suddenly, something happened.  
Something they needed so badly right now.  
And he felt his body tense, every muscle ready to fight.  
Adrenaline rushed through his veins, making him even more hyper, and angry, than he already was.  
Oooooh boy.

Modo's father yanked himself free, punched Limburger in the face and made a hasty retreat.  
Vinnie popped a wheelie and before anyone could stop him, he was already gone, his bike roaring loudly.  
Throttle had promised him that if he tried to escape, Limburger would be his.  
Voila.  
The fish just signed his own death sentence.  
When he was close enough, he fired a rope and it whirled around Limburger, who fell on the floor, letting out a scream in surprise.  
Vinnie stopped his bike and slowly slid off while grabbing his gun. He walked towards the fish and looked him in the eye.  
"This is as far as you can go."  
Limburger looked up at him, with now pure fear in his eyes. As if he knew he'd just played his last card and lost.  
Smart fish.  
Vinnie aimed his gun, his finger already on the trigger.  
"You've killed my sister…"  
"No, no, that was a accident, I didn't mean to…", Limburger pleaded, his bravado nowhere to be found.  
"Vincent, stand down!", he heard Stoker's voice in his ears.  
Oh man, come on…  
He ignored his coach and his finger slowly put pressure on the trigger…  
"Stop! If you kill me, you'll never find the rest of the prisoners!", Limburger blurted out, his eyes squeezed closed.  
Vinnie hesitated, but the hatred he felt was too hard to ignore. Too hard to control.  
"As if I believe ya…"  
Limburger smelled a opening and with a little effort, he managed to get on his knees, looking desperate at the white furred mouse.  
"Don't you wanna find Harley?"

The fish might as well have dropped a bomb.

Vinnie's heart skipped a few beats, it felt as if he got struck by lighting that jolted through his whole body and his hand started to shake.  
The gun was still aimed at Limburger's head, but with his finger now on the trigger guard.  
He vaguely heard Stoker breath in sharply in his ears.  
"You're lying… Harley is dead", he said softly, his voice dangerously low.  
"No, she's alive and I know where she is… But if you kill me now, you'll never find her…"  
"Vincent, stand down! Now! God dammit!", Stoker yelled into the radio, clearly desperate.  
Vinnie shook his head, his heart pounding in his chest.  
No way.  
Since when did Limburger tell the truth? He was just trying to save his own scaly ass.  
"Come on, even I know how much she meant to you, back in the days. Don't you wanna see her again?", Limburger continued, his hands in front of his body.  
"You're LYING!", Vinnie screamed with a raw voice, his tail lashing through the air.  
"I swear to god, punk, if you kill him now… STAND DOWN! What if he's telling the truth? We can't take the risk!"  
Panic was clearly hearable in Stoker's voice. Off course there was.  
Harley was the love of his life.  
His mind was blinded by love. By hope.  
No wonder the guy couldn't think rationally.

Vinnie was still staring at Limburger, breathing heavily.  
This man… this fish... had killed his sister.  
He'd killed Rimfire.  
He had been in the same complot with the rat who took Harley away from him.  
He'd escaped, over and over again.  
But now, _finally_, he was lying here, at his mercy.  
And Vinnie wasn't one being known for having mercy.  
Not when it came to the people who hurt or killed the people that he loved.  
His finger slowly made its way to the trigger again.

"VINCENT, _DON'T_!"

On last desperate scream from Stoker.  
A finger that pulled the trigger.  
A loud bang.  
And then… silence.  
A deafening and suffocating silence…

* * *

Uh oh… Did Vinnie just cross a line that wasn't meant to be crossed?  
What if Limburger was indeed telling the truth, what if he really knew where Harley is?  
And what is up with Kiwi?  
Oh man, the suspense is killing me here.  
Bwhaha.  
So to speak, of course.  
I mean, It's not that I don't know what comes next, hehehe.

Feel free to leave a review, means the world to me.  
Keeps me motivated in this dark times.  
Thanks for reading my story and till next time, dudes!

Later!


	6. Chapter 6

Hey you guys…

Thanks again for the reviews.

Yeah, Modo's dad, hehehe.  
I wanted to give Modo one living relative back, since family is so important for the big fella, but decided not to go with the obvious.  
So uh, yeah… surprise?

Anywayz, here's the next chapter!  
Looks like I'm back on track. Let's just hope I manage to stay there.  
Enjoy! ^^

* * *

**Chapter 6**

But the silence didn't take long.  
A loud scream broke it, and Vinnie lowered his gun with shaking hand.  
"Just to make sure you ain't wander off again…", he growled and put the gun back in his leg holster.  
Limburger was screaming in pain, blood streamed out of the wound in his right leg.  
"God dammit, Vinnie, you really know how to scare an old man, don't ya?", Stoker breathed in the radio. "Bring that piece of garbage to the base, will ya? I'll take it from there… And that's an order."  
The tone in Stoker's voice said it all. He was gonna do whatever it takes to make Limburger talk.  
Not that that was actually necessary.  
Stoker was an advanced Mind Walker himself, so if someone could peel information out of Limburger's brain, he was definitely the guy.  
"Yes sir", Vinnie answered sarcastic.  
"And drop the attitude, punk."  
The white furred mouse sighed and bend over to grab Limburger.  
"You better wet your whistle, cheese face, because when we're back on the base, you're gonna sing like a bird. You better be."  
Again, he dragged the big fish with him, shaking his head in annoyance.  
God dammit, he had been so close.  
So close…  
But Stoker was right.

_Again_.

It was starting to become a habit.  
Ugh.  
They couldn't take the risk. What if he indeed knew where Harley was?  
The needed to know.  
They needed to follow every lead, even the most untrustworthy ones.  
They needed to bring her home.  
If there was only a slight chance to make up for at least one mistake he'd made in his life, he was gonna grab it with both hands.  
If there was at least one demon he could chase away… that was worth more than killing Limburger in his sisters name.  
Besides… the fish was done anyway.

Meanwhile, Throttle was back with Carbine, who was already awake again.  
And man, she was not amused that Limburger had been able to take her down.  
And we all know that Carbine isn't just _not amused_.  
"God dammit, I can't _believe_ this! How on Mars could this happen?! And look at my head! It's gonna take _hours_ to wash all that blood outta my hair and fur. Well, maybe if we at least had showers, it wouldn't be _that_ much trouble, but _wait_! The Plutarkians took that away _too_! Like everything on this _goddamn_ planet!", she ranted, hitting on the wheel of the truck.  
Throttle was watching her with a slight amused look on his face, his lips curled into a little smile while leaning in the doorway from the truck.  
"Babe, chill. It happens to the best", he chuckled.  
She looked at him with fuming eyes.  
"I'm not just the best, _babe_. I'm a General. And I let my guard down. Talk about a stupid move."  
"It wasn't your fault and besides, everything worked out just fine in the end. Nobody died, Vinnie even managed to control himself for once, thank the Mothers of Mars, Modo now knows he need to bond with his dad before it's too late and to put the icing on the cake; Limburger would never have told us about Harley if this wouldn't have happened. So, no need to jump at shadows, okay?"  
Carbine sighed and glanced at the tan furred mouse from the corner of her eyes.  
One corner of her mouth curled up.  
This is why she loved him so much.  
Always calm.  
Always able to see the bright side of a fucked up situation.  
"Guess you're right."  
"Of course I am. Can you drive?"  
"Yeah. My ego is busted enough already. Give me a sign when you guys are ready, okay?"  
Throttle bend forward and planted a kiss on her forehead.  
"Sure thing, babe."

He jumped down and walked to the back of the truck, where he found Modo and Vinnie already mounting their bikes.  
"Everything okay here?"  
Modo nodded.  
"Yeah, I've punched the big cheese out, just in case. We're ready when you are."  
"Your dad okay?"  
"Yeah, a little startled maybe, but he's fine."  
"He sure got some moves. Guess the apple didn't fall that far from the tree, huh?", Throttle chuckled, clapping the big guy on his back.  
"Guess so", Modo smiled.  
Throttle then shot a glance towards Vinnie, who was staring angrily in the distance while leaning on his windshield.  
"You did the right thing, Vinnie my man. I'm proud of ya."  
And without waiting for a response, he also mounted his bike.  
Vinnie looked up surprised, but Throttle whistled between his teeth and the truck came into movement again.  
"Alright, bro's. Let's go home. And this time for real."

"Almost there, bro's", Throttle breathed happily when they saw the contours of Vault Brimstone in the distance.  
"AAAAOOWW, time to see my ladyyy!", Vinnie cheered, his anger already gone.  
"Yeah, I hear ya, bro!", Modo laughed, also very excited by the prospect of seeing Amira again.  
Throttle shook his head with a amused smile.  
Going on a mission was hard. It wasn't easy to leave your loved ones behind, without knowing if you were ever gonna see them again.  
But coming back home, after being away for weeks, that was priceless.  
Vinnie popped a wheelie and took a deep breath.  
"_I'm gonna love you completely_", he started to sing.  
Again.  
It sounded sweet at first, and Modo and Throttle shared a smile.  
But, it soon turned out that the white furred mouse had other plans than being romantic.  
No surprise there.  
"_And then I'll fucking fuck you discreetly… And then I'll fucking bone you completely, but then… I'm gonna fuuuuuuuck youuuuu haaaaaaaaaaard!_"  
"Oh momma, I can't take this anymore", Modo moaned.  
"Me neither, bro…", Throttle agreed.  
"Vinnie, shut the fuck up!", Carbine yelled over the radio.  
Vinnie let out a happy howl while popping a wheelie.  
"I may be handsome and sexy, but I _do_ know when to take a hint and I definitely know when I'm outta my league. Later fella's!"  
And he sped towards the base, not able to hold himself back any longer. He needed to see Kiwi.  
Pronto.  
Everything vanished to the background.  
Limburger.  
Harley.  
The mission.  
All that mattered now, was him and her.  
Her and him.  
His bro's let him go, amused by his enthusiasm.  
He was definitely back, no doubt about that.  
And they could only be grateful for that.  
Even if that meant that they needed to listen to him singing the most dirty songs.  
Yep. Bromance. Forever.

Vinnie fired his jets and pulled back his handlebars.  
While jumping over the big walls that surrounded the base, he waved to the guards, who were not amused.  
But what were they gonna do? Stop him?  
Pfuh. As if they could.  
Nothing, absolutely nothing, was gonna stop him from seeing his girl.  
He landed wildy on his tires, making a group of young soldiers who were training in the courtyard almost jump outta their fur, but Vinnie hardly noticed.  
He sped towards the garage and stopped his bike with shrieking brakes.  
Kiwi was already waiting, along with Amira and Stoker and when she saw him, that beautiful smile appeared on her face.  
Vinnie pulled off his helmet and threw it over his shoulder while jumping off his bike and he marched towards her, a determined look on his face.  
She met him halfway and jumped in his open arms. When she wrapped her legs around his waist, he let out his breath.  
Home.  
He was home.  
"Sweetheart, god, I've missed you so much", he said with a low voice, already close to losing control.  
He fought the urge to rip off her clothes, right here, right now and buried his nose into her hair, inhaling her scent.  
"I've missed you too, macho mouse", Kiwi murmured against his chest, holding him tightly.  
She looked up at him, and when she saw those familiar, twinkling ruby red eyes, she felt a tingle in her belly.  
Gone was the emptiness. Gone was the vitreousness.  
God, she had been so scared that she was never gonna see those eyes again, filled with vice and arrogance.  
And love. So much love.  
Oh yeah, he was really here.  
His fur not that white anymore after being out there for weeks.  
Tired.  
Probably hungry and thirsty too.  
But he was here.  
And with that she meant; he was _really_ here.  
Physically and mentally.

She was still staring into his eyes, enjoying this moment, when he pressed his lips on hers and gave her such a passionate and heated kiss, her cheeks immediately became red. Her whole body caught fire and she clung to him, her fingers in his greasy fur.  
His breathing became heavier and his kiss deepened, while one hand slid under her shirt on her back.  
The feeling of her soft skin under his fingers made him even more wild.  
"Get a room, punk", they heard Stoker yell at them and Vinnie smiled against Kiwi's lips, his eyes still closed.  
But then, he opened them and looked at Stoker, a big grin on his face.  
"That's the first time I hear ya say something that actually makes sense, oldtimer."  
Stoker rolled his eyes, but with a smile on his face.  
"Welcome back, Vinnie."  
The white furred mouse knew he wasn't only talking about being back on the base.  
Vinnie saluted and grabbed Kiwi again.  
"Ya know, I think that for once, I'm gonna follow up that advice of yours. Come on, sweetheart", and he dragged her with him inside the base.  
Stoker shook his head and mumbled something.  
Amira suppressed a smile.  
It turned out that Modo and Throttle were right after all.  
You just needed some time to get used to that white furred loudmouth.  
But now she was and she was actually starting to like him.  
Geez, never thought I would see the day.

The sound of engines broke her outta her thoughts and a huge smile appeared on her face when she saw Modo drive inside the garage.  
She walked towards him, and he stepped off his bike.  
"Hey there, Amira ma'am", he smiled a little shy.  
"Hey there, hun. Welcome back", and she wrapped her arms around him. He did the same and smiled while his eye closed.  
Home.  
He was home.  
"Welcome back, Modo my mouse. Happy to see you've managed to keep your head attached to your body", Stoker said while walking past him.  
Modo chuckled.  
"Yeah, well, thanks to Vinnie. Don't tell him I've said that."  
"No worries. Absolutely no need to feed that boy's ego", Stoker answered absently, looking at the truck.  
"You think he's being honest, coach? You think that he really knows where Harley is?", Modo asked, a little hesitant.  
Stoker shrugged.  
"I dunno… but the least we can do is try, right?"  
"Guess you're right…"  
There were more than ten reasons which Modo could think of why he hoped that the big cheese wasn't lying.  
But the main reason was that he couldn't stand the thought of his mentor getting his hopes up for nothing.  
So, he did a little prayer. Not that he was one who believed, but right now, they could use all the help they needed.  
He then looked at Amira.  
"I have someone I would like you to meet, darling."  
He grabbed her hand and guided her to the truck. His father just jumped out and Modo took a deep breath.  
This whole thing was still awkward.  
"Eh… dad? This is Amira… My fiance."  
His father turned around to look at the honey coloured mouse and he smiled.  
"Well, look at you. My son seems to have a excellent taste in women", he said friendly and he held out his hand. "My name is Oscar. It's a pleasure to meet you."  
Amira, who already knew Modo had found his father, gave him a warm smile and shook his hand.  
"Likewise, sir. And a big surprise at the same time", she said polite.  
"Just call me Oscar. Sir makes me feel old, which I am, unfortunately. And yes, you're right about that surprise."  
Modo was glancing at his father from the corner of his eye while he was talking to Amira.  
That moment when Limburger had used him as a hostage, he'd felt a fear that confirmed what Throttle and Vinnie were already trying to tell him.  
He needed to give the man a chance.  
He still had a lot of explaining to do, but he was, after all, family.

In the meantime, Vinnie and Kiwi had made it to her room.  
Before the door was even closed behind them, the white furred mouse already claimed Kiwi's mouth again and lifted her.  
She slammed her nails in his back while kissing him back and a low growl escaped his mouth. He practically ripped off her clothes while kicking out his own.  
They didn't even make it to the bed. Kiwi dragged him with her on the floor, still kissing him.  
Her heart was racing in her chest. So was his, she could feel it.  
She wildly broke off the kiss to look into his eyes, which were now almost black and burning with desire.  
He gave her that smile she loved so much and he used his knees to spread her legs.  
Kiwi closed her eyes, her hands above her head and when he pushed himself inside of her, a moan escaped her lips.  
She opened her eyes again and saw him leaning on his hands, hanging above her and man, the look on his face…  
"You have no idea how much I needed this…", he panted, while picking up the pace.  
"I can imagine…", she breathed, her eyes already closed in extacy again.  
Finally, she was complete again.  
Having him around her made her feel calm and peaceful again.  
God, she was nothing without him.

After, they were still lying on the floor, Vinnie now on his back and one arm wrapped around her naked body.  
She was lying with her head on his chest, listening how his heart slowly calmed down again and she let out a satisfied sigh.  
"I'm so glad you're back…"  
"That makes two of us, sweetheart... ", he mumbled while one hand absently played with her hair.  
He didn't wanna ruin this moment. But he knew he had no choice.  
He wanted to be the one to tell her. She needed to hear this from him.  
He knew she wasn't there when it all happened.  
He knew she had no idea what exactly had happened out there in the desert earlier this day.  
But how in the world are you gonna tell your girlfriend, your fiance, the love of your life, that there might be a small chance that his ex girlfriend was still alive?  
You know, the one who disappeared. The one who was still haunting him in his dreams.  
The one who was not just _a_ ex girlfriend, but a big part of his life, a big part of his demons?  
The one he had lost before they even got the chance to built up a life together?  
Dammit.  
He himself wasn't even sure how he was supposed to feel about all this.  
Just think about how she was gonna feel about it...  
Ah man…  
His gaze lowered and he looked at her satisfied face.  
Her eyes were closed, her lips were curled into a small smile while holding him.  
He felt her beautiful body against his, one leg draped over his legs.  
His tail was wrapped around her other leg and she was holding him tightly.

_Here goes nothing._

He cleared his throat and her eyes slowly opened.  
The happy glance in it made him turn his gaze away and he focussed on a spot on the ceiling.  
"Sweetheart, I eh… there is something… there's something I need to tell ya... "  
His voice was shaky, god dammit.  
Why was he so nervous about this?  
He had no idea.  
It wasn't gonna change anything.  
Right?

_Right. _

Kiwi picked up his distress and got upright. Leaning on her elbow, she looked at him.  
"Considering your reaction, do I even wanna know?", she asked hesitantly.  
Vinnie sighed and shot her a nervous glance before focussing on the ceiling again.  
"It's not a question of want, babe. This is something you need to know and I need you to hear it from me."  
"Oh…"  
Kiwi lay down again and buried her face into his fur.  
"Well, let's get this over with then. So, tell me, what is it that I need to know?"  
Her voice sounded muted and he felt her warm breath in his fur.  
Ugh.  
Stop beating around the bush, van Wham.  
Just tell her already.  
"Harley is still alive", he blurted out.  
Okay, that was _not_ how he wanted to tell her this.  
But as usual, his mouth already worked before giving his brains time to think.  
Kiwi stiffened. Her heart skipped a beat.  
And another one.  
And another one.  
What the…

_No._

This couldn't be happening.  
What the fuck was he talking about?  
She stopped herself from jerking upright and closed her eyes, taking a few deep breaths to calm her nerves.  
But it wasn't easy.  
"How… How do you know that?", she eventually managed to bring out.  
"Limburger… He escaped during the ride back home, I almost blew his fucking head off, but then he started to talk about Harley, that she's still alive… That he's the only one who knows where she is… Stoker went ballistic, so I couldn't take the shot. Not the lethal one, that is. Stoker is gonna interrogate him…"  
Kiwi relaxed a little. Maybe this was all just a load of bullshit.  
I mean, the fish would say anything to save his own sorry ass, right?  
But there was this nagging feeling that was telling her that this was way more than just a load of bullshit.  
That this was only the beginning of the biggest test of her relationship with Vinnie.  
"You think he's telling the truth?", she asked.  
She had to ask.  
"Oh, I dunno, babe… I'm not really sure what to think, to be honest…"  
There was a silence.  
A long and loaded silence.

Vinnie then let out his breath and got upright, leaning on his elbow so he could look into the eyes of the love of his life.  
Her eyes which were now filled with fear and insecurity.  
"Kiwi…", he whispered with a low voice and tears jumped into her eyes by hearing him say her name. "I don't know what is gonna happen… But what I _do _know is that _if _she's still alive, I will go out and find her. I need to bring her home…"  
But before he could continue, she burst out into tears. He sat up cross-legged and pulled her in his lap. While wrapping his arms around her, he continued.  
"I wasn't finished yet, sweetheart. I need you to trust me. Trust me when I say it's not gonna change anything…"  
"But that's just the thing… How can you say this, when you have absolutely no idea how you're gonna react when you see her again?", Kiwi sobbed.  
Vinnie felt a pang of anger, he just couldn't help it.  
"What are ya trying to say? That you _don't_ trust me?"  
"To be completely honest, I have no idea what to think, okay? Off course I trust you. You should know that by now. But this is _Harley_ we're talking about. Your long lost love. I think we both can't predict how you're gonna react if you see her again. I mean, it's not that you really moved on after her, right?"  
She just blurted out that last part and she closed her mouth with a clap, already feeling regret.  
She felt his body tense and he pushed her away so he could look at her.  
His ruby red eyes, which were filled with desire and love just minutes ago, were now fuming in anger and pain.  
"What did you just say?"  
"I… I'm sorry, I was outta line…"  
"No, no, no, no sweetheart, don't back out now. Come on, just say whatever you wanna say. It's obviously bothering ya…"  
His voice. Oh god.  
This was not how she pictured him coming back at all.  
How long was he back, a hour or so?  
And here they were, already fighting over another girl.  
Can you believe that shit?  
Well, not just _a_ girl.  
This was _Harley_.

_Dammit._

"I'm not _accusing_ you, Vinnie. I'm just telling it like it is. You didn't move on, right? Come on, if you want me to be honest, then share the wealth, will ya?"  
"I'm with _you_! I love_ you_! I even asked you to _marry_ me!"  
He said the word 'marry' with disgust written on his face.  
"How is that not moving on, goddammit?"  
"Because you're still blaming yourself. Because if she wasn't taken away from you, you would probably still be with her…."  
Kiwi took a deep breath and looked into his eyes.  
"...because you still love her…"  
He looked as if she had just slapped him in the face.  
His ears drooped, but his eyes were still fuming.  
"Come on, Vinnie, don't look so surprised. Can you look me in the eye and tell me, without lying, without blinking, that you don't love her anymore?"  
Vinnie opened his mouth, but then closed it again and he looked away angrily.  
"That's what I thought", Kiwi snorted and she pushed him away from her while standing up.  
The tears were gone. There was only pain.  
She quickly put on some clothes.  
Vinnie was following her with his eyes, a frown on his face.  
But then, he let out a low growl in frustration and grabbed his pants.  
Just when he was about to leave the room, not even fully dressed yet, but he needed to get outta here, Kiwi suddenly moaned.  
The sound was followed by a loud bang.

He whirled around and saw her sitting on her knees, her arms around her waist and her face twisted in pain.  
The fight immediately forgotten, he kneeled down next to her.  
"Kiwi, what's wrong?", he asked, a hand on her back.  
Tears streamed down her face while she was gasping for air.  
"I…", she tried to talk, but the pain was too much.  
She clenched her teeth, trying to keep the scream that was burning her throat inside, but she failed.  
Vinnie flattened his ears when she let out a scream in pain. Jesus, what the fuck was going on here?  
"You need a doctor…", he started but she grabbed his arm in a iron grip. He looked up, a little surprised and she looked back at him, her face now clouded with anger, her skin paler than pale, her blue eyes fuming.  
"_NO_. It'll pass, it always does…", she managed to squeeze out.  
"Wait, what? You mean this ain't the first time this happens?", Vinnie demanded, also angry.  
"It comes and it goes…", she panted, but a another pain wave made her scream again.  
She suddenly felt something wet between her legs.  
What the…  
Her hand slowly reached down and when she looked at her fingers, she breathed in sharply.  
"Vinnie", she hissed urgently and the white furred mouse followed her gaze.  
Her fingers were soaked with blood.  
That's it.  
Vinnie quickly scooped her in his arms.  
Something was definitely wrong.  
"Save me the stubbornness, pretty lady. You need a doctor, and that's _final_!", he snapped at her and carried her out of the room.  
Time to go to the infirmary.  
His girl, his home, needed help. Whether she liked it or not.

With a loud bang, he kicked the door open that led to the infirmary, yielding him a angry look from the nurses who almost jumped outta their fur, but when they say the pale, sweating and bleeding human girl in his arms, it was already forgotten.  
"Please, help her, I…", Vinnie stuttered, already feeling how the panic was slowly taking over his body by only being in the infirmary.  
The smell alone was enough to trigger something he didn't want to be triggered.  
Especially not now.  
Two nurses, one of them none other than Lola, rushed towards him with a brancard. Vinnie laid Kiwi down and she grabbed his hand in panic.  
"Please, don't leave me, I'm scared…", she pleaded, but Lola laid a hand on Vinnie's arm.  
"I'm sorry, but you're not allowed behind these doors, so this is where you say goodbye…"  
Vinnie's head jerked up and Lola suddenly realized what she had said just now.  
"For now! Goodbye for now!", she hastily added.  
"No, I need him with me, I…", Kiwi cried, but the nurses were already carrying her away and her hand slipped out of his.  
"No, no, no, VINNIE!"  
The white furred mouse made the nurses stop for a moment and laid his hand on Kiwi's forehead.  
"Sweetheart, calm down. The most important thing is that you need help, right now. I'll be right here, waiting. Only one room away from ya... "  
Kiwi shook her head, sweat was streaming down her face, along with tears.  
"I'm scared…", she whispered.  
"I know, trust me, I know. But you're in good hands. You can trust them…"  
"Vinnie, we need to go, now", Lola interrupted, but Vinnie held up his hand.  
He leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on Kiwi's head, forcing himself to push away his own panic in order to calm his girl down.  
He closed his eyes, his lips still on her forehead and slowly, she relaxed. He opened his eyes again and looked at her.  
"I love ya, Kiwi. Don't you forget about that… Everything will be fine…", he then whispered in her ear and with reluctance, he let her go.  
"I love you too…", she whispered back, and before the white furred mouse could blink, she was already taken away.  
The metal doors closed behind her and Vinnie just stood there, staring at these awful doors.  
The panic was gnawing on his insides, but it was so important to stay calm.  
For her.  
For Kiwi.

In the meantime, completely unaware of what was going on with Kiwi, Throttle and Modo helped Stoker to get Limburger into one of the cells.  
But this time, they weren't gonna leave him alone. No, Stoker had decided to immediately start with the interrogation.  
One; the sooner he would know if the big fish was telling the truth about Harley, the better.  
Two; to make sure he wasn't gonna escape again.  
The rest of the group, including Modo's father, had stayed behind in the garage.  
Before they were allowed to get inside the base, they needed to be examined by a doc, in case they may carry a contagious disease with them.  
The last thing they needed was a viral outbreak in the base.

Modo dropped Limburger in the cell and the fish moaned in pain.  
Throttle and Modo hung back and leaned against the bars while Stoker put down a chair in the middle of the cell and sat down.  
He leaned forward and looked Limburger straight in the eye.  
"You do know that the only reason that you're still alive is because you seem to have information that we need…", the brown furred mouse started.  
"Oh yes, I know. And therefore, I would like to make deal", Limburger answered.  
"A deal? We ain't making deals with Plutarkian scum…"  
"Oh really? I don't think that you have a choice, mouse. Because if you refuse to bargain, I will never tell you what you want to know so desperately."  
"If you won't, I'll kill ya myself", Stoker snapped, but he already knew what was coming next.  
"Oh, I don't doubt about that. But you see, if you do… I'll take the precious information to the grave… And then you will never know where to find that precious female mouse of yours… hehehe..."  
Stoker clenched his teeth, but he knew the fish was right.  
"Okay, so what is it that you want?"  
"Oh, but that's simple, my dear boy. I just want your word that you won't kill me. Let me live and I'll tell you everything you want to know..."  
"I dunno, coach…", Modo mumbled but Stoker held up his hand to silence him.  
"Fine. You have my word. And you know Freedom Fighters always keep their word, unlike you, you slime face. So, spill it."  
"I could use some water first, my mouth is very dry after such a long trip", but Stoker wasn't in the mood for this and he set his foot on the wound in the fish his leg, making him scream in pain.  
"Sounds to me there ain't nothing wrong with your voice. Talk. _Now_…"  
"Okay, okay! All I know that she's being held in the Plutarkian base!", Limburger blurted out.  
"That's it? That's all you know?", Stoker asked with disbelief.  
"It's all you need to know, am I right?"

Stoker sighed and he kneeled in front of the fish.  
His antennas started to glow red and he grabbed Limburger by his jacket.  
"You had your chance. Now, we're gonna do it my way."  
His antennas made contact with Limburger's head and the fish went limp.  
"Guess this is the end of Limburger, bro…", Throttle said softly, his arms crossed in front of him.  
"Yeah? How so?"  
"Because nobody comes out of a Mind Search unharmed. They all ended up like drooling vegetables…"  
Modo looked at Stoker and Limburger and let out his breath.  
"I can't say I'm sorry if that happens…"  
"Me neither, big fella. Me neither."  
The tan furred mouse straightened his back and clapped Modo on the arm.  
"Come on, this is gonna take a while. Let's get something to eat."  
Modo's stomach roared in answer and while chuckling, they both left Stoker to do his job.

Throttle was just about to take his first bite, when Amira and Carbine rushed into the Main Hall.  
"Guys, Kiwi is at the infirmary!", Amira yelled at them and the two males looked up startled.  
"Say what?", Modo asked, already on his feet.  
Throttle dropped his spoon and looked at Carbine.  
"What's wrong?"  
"I dunno, all I know that Jax told me she was suffering from severe abdominal pains now and then, and that she refused to go see a doc. He told me because he was worried about her, because he didn't listen to him. I wanted to talk to one of the doc's about it, but apparently, she was already there…"  
"And where's Vinnie?", Throttle asked urgently.  
"At the infirmary too. That's why I came to get you guys, he needs you."  
That was all Throttle needed to hear and he followed the girls to the infirmary, alongside Modo.

When they walked in, they saw Vinnie pacing through the waiting room.  
Modo swallowed, having a immediate flashback to the last time he was here.  
Back then, it was him walking around here, just like his younger bro was now.  
Throttle signed to the rest to stay behind and he approached the white furred mouse with caution.  
His younger bro was only wearing his pants and shoes and the fur on his chest and stomach was stained with blood.  
"Vinnie?", he asked softly and Vinnie whirled around.  
"Thank the Mothers of Mars, you're here", he breathed, standing a little lost in the middle of the room.  
Throttle smiled and lay a hand on Vinnie's shoulder.  
"Of course we are. We came as soon as we heard. Any news?"  
"Nope…"  
It was remarkable how calm his younger bro was, giving the whole situation.  
Throttle didn't trust it.  
At all.  
"And how are you holding up?"  
Vinnie shrugged.  
"Fine, I guess…"  
"You sure?"  
"I need to stay calm. It's very important to stay calm", the white furred mouse mumbled, already starting his pacing again.  
Throttle now understood.  
The connection.  
If he was gonna panic, Kiwi would notice. And that was the last thing she needed right now.  
The leader was impressed, he had to admit.  
But it also worried him.  
Because they all knew how Vinnie reacted on suppressed emotions.  
But for now, it seemed to be the best way to handle this situation.  
He decided to let his bro do whatever he needed to do to stay calm and joined the rest again.  
"Let's just leave him alone for now, okay? All we can do now, is wait…"

Meanwhile, in the dungeons of the base, Stoker's eyes flew open and he scrambled away from Limburger.  
His eyes were wide open and his heart was almost exploding outta his chest.  
Breathing heavily, he leaned against the bars and slid down.  
It was as if his world was turned upside down.  
Where he usually managed to stay calm, he was now overwhelmed with emotions.  
He glanced at Limburger, who was nothing more but a shell now. The fish was staring into space, drool dripping outta his mouth.  
Stoker had kept his word. The Plutarkian was still alive.  
Meaning: he was still breathing. But his mind, his consciousness was gone to never return again.  
Stoker hadn't really been gentle on the big fish. He had invaded his mind with heavy force, searching in every corner for the one thing that mattered right now.  
He had found it.  
Oh yeah, he had found it.  
Life suddenly felt so different.  
Lighter.  
Because you could say a lot about Limburger, but this time, he had told them the truth.  
Harley was still alive.  
And Stoker now knew where to find her.

* * *

Oh dear…

Kiwi is not amused by the fact that Harley might reappear in Vinnie's life.  
But first things first… finding out what is wrong with her. Can the doc's help her?  
And are the mice gonna be able to get Harley back?  
More to the point; what is gonna happen if they do?  
Again, so many question, so few answers…

Oh, btw, I'm still thinking about Oscar's background story, so that will be continued further on in the story.

So, I've used some lyrics from "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D.  
They own these hilarious words, not me.  
I was listening to that song and felt the unexplained urge to use it in my story.  
I mean, I can totally picture Vinnie singing it, alright.

Feel free to leave a review, means a lot and thanks for reading my story.  
Thanks for supporting me. You guys are the best.

Till next time!

Later dudes!


	7. Chapter 7

You guys…

Thanks for the reviews.

Already got another chapter done.  
Hope you guys like it.

Enjoy! ^^

* * *

**Chapter 7**

Vinnie was close to losing his shit.  
He could feel it.  
What the hell was going on with his girl?  
Why didn't she tell him she was having physical symptoms?  
And why in the world was she bleeding from... down there?  
He continued his pacing, mumbling to himself to stay calm, over and over again.  
He couldn't feel Kiwi's distress any more, so that probably meant she was unconsciousness for whatever reason.  
Or dead…

_No._

Not dead.  
Somewhere, deep down, he knew that she wasn't able to feel his emotions at this moment, so there was actually no reason to keep his cool.  
But what if she woke up without him knowing it?  
What if she woke up in a cloud of panic, _his_ panic?  
There was no way he could do that to her.

"Shouldn't we help him? Or _try_ to help him?", Amira asked softly, her eyes following the pacing white furred mouse.  
"There's nothing we can do to help him. Nothing but to keep a close eye on him, in case he snaps", Throttle answered calm.  
Amira gave him a confused look.  
"Snaps?"  
Modo gently took her hand and lovingly planted a kiss on her hand.  
"Vinnie suffers from severe PTSD. Hospitals are a trigger", he simply explained.  
"Oh... ", the honey coloured female breathed. "What happened to him?"  
"Too much…", Throttle answered that question.  
Amira couldn't feel anything else but sorry for the white furred mouse.  
Apparently, there was way more to him than just ego, charms and the inexhaustible need for adrenaline.  
Meaning: he had a actual reason to be who he was.

Carbine looked up surprised too.  
Throttle had never told her this.  
But then again, Vinnie wasn't exactly a subject they could talk about without getting into a fight.  
"You never told me", she said softly in his ear.  
"I wonder why", he smiled back, but then his face grew serious again. "Back on Earth, he got hurt a couple of times. It triggered huge panic attacks and Ruby explained to us why. Later on, we found out what happened to him that day we got knocked down in that explosion."  
"I remember that day as if it was yesterday… ", Carbine sighed, fiddling with her fingers.  
She remembered how scared she was that she'd lost Throttle forever.  
She remembered how Vinnie had woke up screaming, how he then started to hum that awful song and later on, how he acted like the whole thing never happened.  
She also remembered how Harley was the only one who could get through to the white furred mouse.  
The only one who he let him help him.  
"Oh momma, that was a bad day…", Modo agreed.  
"What exactly did happen to him?", but Throttle shook his head.  
Okay.  
Message received.  
Subject is off limits for now.

"Do you guys really think Harley's still alive?", Carbine then asked.  
The males shrugged.  
"With Limburger, you never know. Stoker is working with him as we speak, so guess we'll find out soon enough", Throttle answered.  
"Have you guys already thought about that if she's alive, what that will do to Vinnie and Stoker?"  
"More than ten times already. And they have the same outcome… a mess…", Throttle sighed.  
"Yeah, but Vinnie is with Kiwi now. Sure, it will be a shock to see her again, I guess… but I don't think he'll leave Kiwi for Harley. He loves her too much… So, guess that means Stoker is gonna have a second chance…", Modo mused.  
Carbine leaned forward to look at the grey furred giant.  
"Maybe you're right, but talking about that day, I remember how Harley was the one who patched up Vinnie. He was crazy about her. The only one he let near him. What's gonna happen if she's suddenly standing in front of him again?"  
"I suggest we stop with making assumptions and just wait and see where this will go", Throttle interfered. "Listening to you guys talk, we're all prepared for drama. I hope it won't come that far, but if… all we can do is support the ones we love and pick up the pieces afterwards. For now; let's just wait what Stoker is gonna find out."

"He's telling the truth", they suddenly heard Stoker's voice and they all turned around to see him walk inside the infirmary.  
He had a big grin on his face and his eyes were twinkling.  
Throttle realized he couldn't remember when it was the last time he had seen his coach this happy.  
"She's alive and I know where to find her. So, hope you guys are ready to ride out again tomorrow."  
"Tomorrow? Stoke, I'm not sure if you know, but there's something wrong with Kiwi. Vinnie can't leave right now…", Throttle started, but when he saw the look on Stoker's face, he jumped at his feet.  
"No, I'm not going without him. No way I'm leaving one of my bro's behind."  
Stoker took a deep breath in a attempt to stay calm.  
"Maybe you didn't hear me. Harley is _alive_. I know where to find her. We can't wait that long."  
Throttle was about to retort, when Vinnie's voice cut him off.  
"She really is alive? He was telling the truth?", the white furred mouse demanded, standing behind Stoker all of a sudden, his eyes burning.  
Stoker turned around.  
"You heard it."  
"Where is she?"  
"At the old Plutarkian base. You know, where Karbunkle kept us that day…"  
"I _know_ where it is", Vinnie snapped at him, his tail lashing.  
As if he would ever forget.  
He wished...  
This was too much to take in right now.  
First the fight with Kiwi, then her being sick, and while he's waiting for news about her, he finds out that Harley is still alive.  
Man, when was life gonna be simple for once?

Suddenly, his ears picked up the sound of opening doors.  
He slowly turned around and bit his lower lip.  
The doctor walked towards them and the rest also focussed their attention on him.  
"First I wanna say that's she stabile and gonna be fine", the doc immediately cut to the chase and Vinnie let out his breath.  
But the look on the doc's face told him there was a 'but' coming.  
And Vinnie wasn't sure if he was ready to hear it right now.  
I mean, he wasn't really known for being one who could handle bad news very well, and he was already on his tax for this day.  
For this month, actually.  
Maybe even for the rest of this year…  
Not that hearing that Harley's still alive was bad news, of course it wasn't, but it was bad news for his relationship.  
Considering Kiwi's previous reaction, this whole thing could only mean trouble.  
"I wanna see her", he blurted out.  
He was running away, he knew that.  
He was burying his head into the sand, as deep as possible.  
But right now, all he wanted was to hold her and tell her how much he loved her, over and over again, until she finally believed him that he wasn't going anywhere.

"In a minute. First, I wanna explain what we've found out…", the doc started, but Vinnie shook his head.  
"I wanna see her. And with that, I mean, _now_."  
"Vincent, calm down. Let the doc speak", Throttle warned him.  
The doc, a black furred mouse, nodded and looked back at Vinnie.  
"She was having a internal bleeding, caused by a ectopic pregnancy…"  
Vinnie stared at him, the words echoed through his head, but they somehow didn't made any sense.  
The rest of the group was also silent all of a sudden, even Stoker was staring at the doc with a surprised look on his face.  
"Usually, when this happens, the body takes care of it on his own. But in Kiwi's case, the fertilised egg got stuck in her ovary. The ovary ruptured and that caused the bleeding. The cause why her body didn't got rid of the egg is unknown, but if I have to guess, I think it has something to do with you being two entire different species. That the egg was fertilised in the first place is a miracle to say at least."  
Vinnie blinked a few times, his left ear twitched.  
This guy was talking about Kiwi as if she was his test subject.  
He was clearly impressed and interested at the same time.

_Ugh._

For Vinnie, it might as well have been in Chinese.  
Nothing made sense at this point.  
"Okay… can I see her now?"  
"I wasn't finished yet. Unfortunately, I had no other option than to take her into surgery to stop the bleeding. When we did, I took the opportunity to check the rest, in case something more was going on. And there was. She was also suffering from a severe uterus infection, which affected the tissues… I must say, I'm surprised she was even able to function..."  
"Can you please get to the point here?", Stoker asked agitated.  
Vinnie gave him a grateful look while Carbine just glared at him.  
Men...  
The doc cleared his throat, a faint blush on his face.  
"Yes, off course. All things considered, the only way to help her was to remove everything, so not just the ovaries, but also the uterus…"  
Vinnie stared at him, but the words still meant nothing to him.

_Nothing._

"But that means…", Amira said slowly.  
"...that she won't ever be able to have children, yes. I'm sorry…", he said the last part to Vinnie, but the latter his patience was running very low now.  
"You really think I care about that? I wanna see her, now, and if you won't let me, I'll find my own way in, and trust me, I ain't exactly subtle", the white furred mouse snapped at the doc.  
Throttle quickly grabbed his arm and gave the doc a apologetic smile.  
"Guess the time for talking is over… Can we go see her now?"  
The doc sighed and turned around.  
"Follow me."  
Throttle signed to the rest to stay behind and dragged Vinnie with him, his mind making overtime to process this news.  
But it was a lot to take in.

The doc showed them the room.  
"We gave her a private room, we thought she might be needing that. She's still under a anesthetic, but she can wake up any second. I'll leave you alone with her", and the doc made a hasty retreat.  
Vinnie took a deep breath and stepped into the room.  
He didn't came far, though.  
When he saw how Kiwi, how his girl, was lying in bed, surrounded by loud beeping machines and attached to all sort of tubes, he stopped death in his tracks.  
The panic, which he was able to keep on a distance till now, was about to overwhelm him, but let's hear it for Throttle, who snapped him out of it just in time.  
"Vincent, _focus_. She needs you", the tan furred mouse hissed while giving his younger bro a flat blow against the back of his head.  
The white furred mouse glared over his shoulder at his leader, who smiled back a little sheepishly.  
"It seemed like a good idea, hehe", he chuckled.  
Vinnie rolled his eyes.  
But, whether he liked it or not, it worked and he had the panic back under control.

He walked to the bed and gently took Kiwi's hand.  
She was breathing calmly, her face completely relaxed.  
But her skin was paler than pale and she had blue circles under her closed eyes.  
Throttle leaned to the wall, his arms crossed.  
"Vin…", he started, but Vinnie beat him to it.  
"She was so upset when I told her about Harley. She thinks I still love her. I do, but it's… it's not the same anymore, ya know?"  
Throttle said nothing, it was clear that his younger bro needed to get something off his chest first.  
"But I don't know… I just don't know how to explain to her that I need to go out there to get Harley back. That I need to bring her home. But that it's not gonna change anything… "  
"Just explain to her how you feel. Be honest and genuine. She'll understand in the end", Throttle answered that question.  
That he was also worried about what might happen when Harley was gonna make a comeback, he kept to himself for now.  
Just as the fact that he was also afraid it was gonna trigger some emotions and feelings in Vinnie that weren't meant to be triggered now he's with Kiwi.  
But all in good time.

"You always make these kinda things sound so easy…", Vinnie muttered under his breath and Throttle smiled.  
"It's actually that simple, bro."  
"For me it's not."  
"Even for you, Vincent. You're a honest guy. Just speak from the heart. I know you can."  
Vinnie pulled a face, but said nothing.  
"Vinnie, this whole thing with Kiwi… Well, I understand why you don't care at this point, but I just want you to keep in mind that Kiwi probably _does_ care… I mean, I know that this issue can be particularly sensitive for women…"  
Vinnie was still looking at Kiwi, rubbing her hand.  
"I know… And I'll be there for her. Always… Just like I promised her."  
Throttle was impressed.  
He really was.  
It seemed that Vinnie was finally starting to grow up a little.  
I mean, here he was, in a infirmary without completely losing it, strong enough to hold back his own emotions.  
He was talking about his feelings and worries and he took Kiwi's problem very serious.

_Wauw._

Unbelievable what love could do to a guy.  
And Throttle couldn't be more proud.  
He pushed himself off the wall.  
"I'm gonna go talk to Stoker about this whole mission to get Harley back. You gonna be okay here, on your own?"  
"Yeah. Tell Stoker that I need to go along on this mission. I need it to… I dunno, get some peace, or... whatever."  
"I already told him that I'm not going anywhere without you. As soon as you're ready, we'll leave, okay?"  
"As soon as Kiwi is awake and I've talked to her, I'm more than ready to go."  
"Born ready, right?"  
"Right on."

Throttle chuckled and left the room.  
Who would've thought the day would come that Vincent van Wham took some responsibility?  
He did.  
Throttle always had known that eventually, that day would come.  
It's just a little earlier than expected.

Vinnie was sitting next to Kiwi's bed, playing gently with her fingers.  
Her skin was so soft.  
It was so weird and yet so familiar at the same time.  
Suddenly, she moaned and Vinnie jerked upright.  
He studied her face and a smile curled his lips when she opened her beautiful blue eyes.  
She looked at him, dazed.  
"Hey sweetheart. Welcome back", Vinnie said lovingly while smoothing her hair back.  
Kiwi closed her eyes when she felt his touch and she let out her breath.  
Vinnie gave her some time to get back in the world of the living.  
His tail made its way under the blanket and wrapped around her leg, to let her know he was here.

"You're here…", she rasped eventually, looking at him with her eyes half closed.  
"Your powers of observation are astonishing, babe."  
"You know what I mean… it's a infirmary, after all…"  
"Well, yeah, but you're here… So… I am too… You need me. And I promised ya; I'll always be there for you. Forever, remember?"  
A tear left her eye while she grabbed his hand and squeezed, not able to speak for a moment.  
"Speechless already, huh?", he snickered. "I tend to have that effect on people."  
"Oh my god, you're incorrigible…", she sighed, but her lips curled into a small smile. "That's why I love you so much, macho mouse."  
But then her face darkened and Vinnie knew what was next.

_Shit. What was he gonna tell her?_

"What happened? I remember the pain, the blood… the panic", she then added while giving him a meaningful look and he smiled a little sheepishly.  
"But after that, a deep dark hole... and now, I wake up and the pain is gone, well, replaced by a different kind of pain... "  
While fiddling with her fingers, the white furred mouse was trying to figure out how to tell her this.  
But come on, this wasn't his expertise. He wasn't the guy for this.  
Jesus, he was just a guy who liked to perform stunts on his bike and to blow things up.  
Well, not just _a _guy… But still...  
This was beyond his capabilities.  
"Ah, miss Lavendor, you're awake. How are you feeling?"  
Vinnie let out his breath when the doc walked in.  
Pfewie, talk about good timing.

Meanwhile, in Carbine's room, Stoker was pacing around, a frown on his face.  
"Okay, look; all I could find in the thing that they call a brain of that piece of shit, was that Harley, along with others, is being held at the old Plutarkian base. First, I thought there had to be more, but then I remembered that the Plutarkians had cut him off."  
"So that means we've got no idea what to expect. Not about how heavily guarded the place is, not about what shape the prisoners are in, nothing. That means we can't just blast our way in", Throttle said firmly.  
Stoker whirled around, his eyes fuming.  
Carbine held up her hand before he could say something.  
"He's right, Stoke. Right now, you're not thinking clear, which is understandable. I know how much she means to you. How much you care. We do too, trust me, but we also care about you. And nothing in the world is worth losing you."  
"We know how ugly things can get if we don't prepare ourselves", Throttle added, referring to the night they'd lost Mireya and Rimfire.  
Stoker's ears drooped and he sat down while letting out a heavily sigh.  
"Dammit, why is it that what you're saying actually makes sense?"  
"We had a good teacher", Modo smiled.  
Stoker chuckled, but his face soon darkened again.  
"So, let's make a plan then."

"I suggest we go on reconnaissance mission first. So that we know where we're up against. We need blueprints of the building, but that's something the guys from tech can find for us, I suppose..", Throttle suggested.  
"I want Kiwi on this mission", Stoker immediately said sharply.  
"Uh, Stoke, in case ya forgot…", Modo started, but the brown furred leader of the resistance shook his head.  
"I didn't. But this is Harley we're talking about. And I only wanna work with the best. I'll even wait for a couple of days, if that's what she needs to recover."  
Carbine, Throttle and Modo shared a look.  
"Okay… I'll go talk to her as soon as possible", Throttle then nodded.  
"Has she taken her oath yet?", Carbine asked, but the three males gave her such a deadly glare that she raised her hands in defeat.  
"Gosh, just kidding, guys. Geez, no need to get worked up like that."  
Because even Carbine now knew; Kiwi was a good gain for the team.  
She had more than proven herself.  
And while working with the human girl on mission LITE, Carbine had accepted her in her heart.  
That brave, crazy little human girl really was something.  
And even Carbine couldn't ignore the fact that Kiwi was right where she belonged.

Vinnie was studying Kiwi, trying to read what the news which the doc just told her was doing to her.  
They were alone again and his girl was staring at her hands.  
But she felt calm. He didn't sense anything else but calmth whatsoever.  
"You okay, sweetheart?", he eventually asked, not able to stand the silence anymore.  
She slowly looked up, but her eyes were dry. No tears. No sadness.

_Nothing._

That concerned Vinnie. He knew too well that pushing away your pain wasn't always the best strategy. And he knew that Kiwi was one hell of a pro in it.  
"I uh… I've gotta say, it's a lot to take in… And at this point, it doesn't mean anything to me. Is that weird?"  
Vinnie gave her a look, as if he was the one to tell her how to react on bad news.  
Honestly…  
Was she from under a rock or something?  
But he tried to answer her question as best as he could.  
"I don't think so, I guess? I mean, it's not something we… well, I… Let's just say; becoming a father is one of the last things I want right now and I ain't even sure if I ever wanna be one in the future to come…"  
Kiwi slowly nodded, her hand resting on her belly.  
"I get your point. I mean, we're living in a war right now. Not something you immediately link with having children. It was the last thing on my mind, to be honest… But…"  
She trailed off and Vinnie now saw a flash of pain in her eyes.  
He felt it in his own heart.  
"You know you can talk to me, babe."

After another long and for Vinnie toe-curling silence, she looked him in the eye.  
"I have no room for this, not now. All I can think of, is that Harley is alive and what's gonna happen if she's back…"  
Vinnie opened his mouth while giving her a meaningful look, but she held up her hand.  
"No. I can't deal with this…", and she gestured to her belly. "... right now. Later. First, we need to talk about Harley... "  
Vinnie gave her one more meaningful look, but he wasn't exactly the right guy to point the finger.  
To tell her that she needed to let it in, instead of pushing it away.

_HA._

He would probably do the same.  
Not probably.  
He would.  
Anyway… next stop on the problemo train; Harley…

"Sweetheart… When you asked me if I still love Harley, I couldn't lie to ya. But you have to understand that it's nothing compared to the love that I feel for you. Harley has a place in my heart, because of the whole thing that happened.. I really don't know how to explain, but what I do know is; I love you. With my whole damaged soul and heart, I love you. And nothing, absolutely nothing, is gonna be able to take me away from ya… Not even Harley. So, just get that into your head, will ya?"  
Kiwi gave him a sad smile.  
"You're getting rather good at this whole romance thing, macho mouse."  
Vinnie stuck out his tongue in return.  
"Ugh, don't say that, that's busting my ego, big time…"  
But then he grew serious again.  
"But I'm telling the truth… I think the question is; do you believe me?"  
Kiwi nodded.  
"Of course I do. I know you're being honest and genuine. Right now. But what will happen if you see her again? God, Vinnie, I'm so scared of losing ya and the worst part is; I can even understand if…", but the white furred mouse lay a finger on her lips.  
"You really gotta stop talking. I ain't going anywhere. My heart belongs to you now and to no one else. Gosh, sweetheart, what do you need me to do to convince ya?"  
"Usually, I would say; have sex with me, right here, right now, but since that's outta the question right now…", Kiwi answered dryly.  
"You do know that sex is such a broad term?", Vinnie said with a low voice while wiggling his eyebrows. "There are so many other ways I can give ya what you want, without hurting ya…"  
Kiwi's mouth became dry.  
His voice...  
But then, Vinnie shook his head and winked at her.  
"But no, it's too soon. You just came outta surgery, young lady. Gosh, you're such a naughty girl, aren't ya?"  
Kiwi burst out into laughter, but she stopped immediately when she felt the pain.  
"Autsj… I think I get the point…", she moaned, but still giggling.

Vinnie suddenly climbed on her bed and crawled down next to her.  
He wrapped his tail around her leg and he gently took her hand.  
"Hear me out. Stoker has found out that Harley is alive. And we need to go get her out. She's one of us, after all. But… Why don't we plan our wedding? Why don't we agree, right here, right now, that the moment the mission is finished, we're getting married?", he asked softly.  
Kiwi's heart skipped a beat.  
She knew he wasn't the marry type of guy.  
She knew he did that to show her his unconditional love for her.  
His way of telling her that she was his.  
That he was willing to do everything for her.  
This was exactly what she needed.  
This was the final push that pushed her over the line.  
He wasn't going anywhere.  
He was hers. Hers alone.

"I think that once again, you've managed to top yourself, love", she whispered.  
"Is that a yes?"  
"Yes."  
Vinnie saw her eyelids become heavy.  
"You need to sleep, sweetheart. Your body took quite the knocking."  
"Stay with me… please…", she mumbled, already on her way to dreamland.  
"Always…", he whispered back.  
Then, he activated his antennas and while she fell asleep, he made contact with her head.  
He showed her all his memories with her, he shared his feelings, everything.  
To show her how much she meant to him. To show her that he wasn't going anywhere.

_Never..._

Later, when the nurse came to check on Kiwi, she found them both fast asleep with a satisfied look on their faces.  
She smiled because of the cute sight and after a quick check of the machines, she tiptoed out of the room, leaving the two love birds rest.  
They both needed it, after all.

"Alright, rookies, we're almost there. Remember, we're only here to scout. To make pictures, to count the guards, to give Kiwi the opportunity to fly the drone over the building to search for heat signatures by thermal imaging."  
Three days had past since the Biker Mice had returned from their first mission with the found prisoners.  
Three days since Kiwi had surgery.  
And the girl was already sitting in Braavos again, being the eyes and ears of the small group that was now outside in the rough dessert again.  
Vinnie had carefully suggested it may be too soon, but she didn't wanna hear it.  
She was feeling well enough to sit in a chair, watch some screens and fly a drone.  
So stubborn...

"So, that means; no weapons, no fighting, and no missiles", Stoker said the last part meaningful towards Vinnie.  
"Ah man, come on! Where's the fun in that?", the white furred mouse whined, but it was all pro forma.  
He knew damn well they needed to be cautious, there was too much at stake here.  
"I mean it, punk. This is mission is too important and I don't want you to shorten the odds because you can't control your itchy trigger finger, you got that?"  
"Geez, you think I don't know how important this is? She used to be _my_ girlfriend after all, oldtimer", Vinnie snapped at him.  
Stoker narrowed his eyes and his fur bristled, but Throttle decided to intervene.  
"Okay, I think he understands, Stoke. According to the maps, the building is hidden between some sand dunes and rock formations. Given us the perfect opportunity to keep a low profile. Let's ride."  
Throttle drove away, followed by Modo and Carbine, but Stoker blocked Vinnie's way.  
"Listen punk, I'm only gonna say this once; I don't care that she chose you over me, back then. I don't care about everything that happened in the past, not anymore. All I know is that I care about _her_, and that I'm gonna get her outta there. Not matter the cost, you got that?"  
"Threatening much already, coach? Guess you're right, you must love her very much…", Vinnie said disgusted and revved his bike.  
Before Stoker could stop him, the white furred mouse made a sharp turn around him and sped away.

Stoker watched him go, already regretting the words he had said just now.  
This whole thing really brought out the devil in him.  
Man, he could only hope they got her out soon, because he wasn't sure how much drama his bond with Vinnie could handle before it would crack.  
They always had a little… difficult relationship.  
The white furred mouse wasn't a easy one to deal with sometimes.  
But Stoker cared about him as if he was his own son.  
He was the one who had found the, back then, sixteen year old, out of control adrenaline bundle, clearly lost and searching for a way to deal with his emotions after losing his parents. It took Stoker a lot of effort to put him back in line.  
But it was worth it.  
Because even if he could be such a huge pain in the ass, he was a funny and friendly little fella.  
But this whole thing with Harley… Man.  
What a mess...  
Was it really worth to put his relationship with Vinnie on the line here?  
He had no idea in what shape Harley would be after being a prisoner for so long.  
God only knew how much she'd went through.  
What if is she was nothing more than a ghost?  
But he already knew; he needed to get her out and find out by himself.  
No matter what.  
He could only hope that Vinnie was gonna be able to understand.  
Before it's too late.

"Maybe you need to cut him some slack, Vincent. You weren't the only who lost her, after all", Throttle said to his younger bro when he popped up next to him.  
"Exactly. Neither was he. Look, all I want is to get her out safely, okay? That's it. That means I can chase away at least one demon… After that, she all his…", Vinnie replied, his tail lashing through the air in annoyance.  
"Ya sure it's that simple, bro?", Modo asked.  
"Y'all just continue to doubt my love for Kiwi. No problemo. But I sure as hell ain't. So, can we please drop the subject?", the white furred mouse growled, grabbing his handlebars tightly.  
"There it is", Carbine suddenly said while holding up her hand and with that, the conversation was over.  
They all stopped at the edge of the sand dune and looked down.  
"Oh momma… I remember this place…", Modo sighed.  
"Yeah, and it ain't exactly a happy memory…", Vinnie agreed while a shiver ran down his spine.  
Stoker stopped next to them, but all of a sudden, they heard a high tone.  
"Why does that sound so familiar?", Vinnie asked thoughtful, trying to figure out what it was.  
Throttle pointed at the sky.  
"Because it ain't the first time we're getting shot at", he answered Vinnie's question.  
They all followed his finger.  
"Incoming missile at twelve o'clock, bro's."  
"Do we have a manoeuvre for this one?"  
"Sure. It's called…"  
"RUN!"

They all revved their bikes and split up, each fleeing into another direction.  
Right on time.  
The explosion was deafening.  
"So far for keeping a low profile…", Throttle sighed,  
"Hey, and this time, it ain't even my fault!", Vinnie chuckled.  
He stopped his bike with shrieking brakes and opened his visor while looking down at the base.  
"Well… I think we've found the missing Plutarkians, Throttle", he snickered when he saw how a entire army of stinkfishes walked out of the building, all armed to the teeth.  
"Yeah, and there are even more inside, guys", Kiwi's voice came over the radio. "You need to get out of there, right now!"  
"Ah come on, sweetheart, when we're outnumbered…", Vinnie replied.  
"... we do our best job", Modo added.  
"Not this time, guys. Trust me, this is a suicide mission."  
"Sounds more like a party to me."  
"Vinnie, no. Even you can't handle…", but before she could finish her sentence, the Plutarkians opened fire.  
"Yiiiaaooooww, there's some serious heat coming from down there", Vinnie cheered while popping a wheelie and speeding away.  
"Kiwi is right, we need to regroup!", Throttle ordered into the radio.  
"You mean we've gotta bail?", Vinnie asked shocked.  
"We're sitting ducks here, Vinnie. We need…", but a loud bang interrupted the tan furred mouse his husky voice, followed by a moan.  
After that, silence.

That alarmed Vinnie and he quickly drove to the other side of the sand dune, since he was the only one who had gone east while fleeing for the missile.  
He stopped death in his tracks when he saw how Carbine, Stoker, Modo and Throttle were carried away by a group of rats, all unconscious.  
Where the hell did these rat's come from anyway?  
Dammit, they were prepared, somehow.  
It was as if they knew they were coming.  
"Oh no, this ain't gonna happen, rat boys", and the white furred mouse revved his bike, determined to save his bro's, his coach and Carbine.  
But Kiwi stopped him.  
"Vinnie, don't! They're too many…"  
"I can't just drive away and leave them here, Kiwi!", Vinnie snapped at her, but already knowing that was exactly what he needed to do.  
"You have no choice, you wanna get caught too? Then what? Stand down and come back. We'll figure something out, love, but we need to think this one through."  
Vinnie was clearly having a inner battle, but he knew Kiwi was right.  
If he interfered now, he probably would get caught too, and yeah, then what?  
Being held as a prisoner in that horrible building?

_Again?_

His heart would probably fail him.  
Not a cool way to die.  
And absolutely useless for his partners in crime.  
But leaving them behind wasn't that plain simple as Kiwi made it sound like.  
God dammit.  
But, no matter how much it cost him to admit it, even he couldn't stand up against an entire army this big on his own.  
He needed help.  
And he suddenly knew exactly where to find it.

* * *

Poor Kiwi.  
The blow might come later.  
Because there's just no time to process everything.  
First things first…

Free some prisoners, the ones who are just taken and the one who's already gone for years.  
What help is Vinnie thinking of?  
And what will happen if our white furred friend sees Harley again?

Oh boy, the drama.

Feel free to leave a review.

Ciao!

PS: I didn't forget about Modo's dad, no worries. :)


	8. Chapter 8

Hey you guys..

Thank you so much for the reviews. Means a lot.

Especially now, since I'm back at the hospital again.  
Back at the psychiatric ward after a major relapse in my fight against severe depression.  
I'm not telling this so you can feel sorry for me, because that's the last thing I want, but just to let ya guys know it means the world to me that you like my story, and that you're still with me.  
Now more than ever.

Writing is all I have at this point. So yeah…  
I'm just very grateful.

THANK YOU!  
A huge hug for all of you.

And now, enough with the mushy talk and on with the story.  
Enjoy! ^^

* * *

**Chapter 8**

"Throttle… Throttle, wake up…"  
The tan furred mouse moaned and turned on his other side.  
"Bro…"  
Why didn't Modo just leave him alone? He was lying so…

_...not comfortable..._

His eyes flew open. He was lying on the floor and it was cold… too cold.  
It slowly became clear to him that he wasn't on the base in his own bed.  
If only...  
The smell was somehow familiar and it triggered some memories which he'd carefully locked away.  
Not because he was running away from them, it just didn't feel necessary to keep them within arm's reach.  
I mean, it weren't exactly_ happy_ memories.  
"Throttle…", Modo hissed again and Throttle held up his hand, which felt unusually heavy.  
"Yeah, yeah, on the way... Just give me a minute…"  
He slowly got upright and a pounding headache made its way all up to his temples.  
The right side of his lower jaw felt weird, as if it was… numb.  
He gently touched it and squeezed his eyes when he felt the sharp pain.  
Okay, not so numb after all.  
"Why does my jaw feel like…", he started, but then his eyes flew open again.  
It all came back now.  
The mission.  
Harley.  
The explosion, the army, the rats… one of them who knocked him off his bike.  
"Oh."

Carbine.  
Where was Carbine?  
"Carbine? Carbine, where…."  
"I'm here, Throttle and I'm fine."  
Throttle blinked a few times and his vision, that was blurry till now, became sharp.  
He was leaning against one of the walls of a cold and dark cell.  
He looked at his right and saw Carbine sitting a few feet away from him.  
She smiled at him, but it wasn't one of joy.  
More like a soothing one.  
Modo and Stoker were sitting on the floor, also leaning against the wall, at the other side of the cell.  
"Ah man…", he sighed, now fully understanding the gravity of the situation.  
"You said it, bro…", Modo agreed.  
"You guys okay?", the tan furred mouse asked.  
Stoker and Modo nodded.

Throttle raised his hand again to adjust his spec's, when he heard the sound of clanking metal.  
His gaze lowered and landed on the shackles around his wrists.  
His eyes followed the thick chain and saw that it was attached to a ring which was anchored in the ground.  
That was made from Martian cement.  
Meaning; almost unbreakable.  
Well, only unbreakable, actually.  
If he had to guess, the chains were made of Plutarkian steel.  
"We're in trouble, guys…", he said, knowing he was stating the obvious, and tried to stand up.  
But his chains were too short, and to make things even worse, his feet were shackled too.  
"You guys have seen Harley or any other of the prisoners yet?", he asked, already giving up his attempt to stand up, knowing it was a no go and a complete waste of his energy.  
"Nope… Just woke up, completely clueless, just like you", Modo answered, looking around him.  
"Same…", Stoker sighed.  
"Here too…", Carbine nodded.  
Throttle now saw they were shackled just like him.  
The cell was just big enough to hold the four of them and it didn't even had bars, only a big, metal door.  
Great… Just…  
Wait a minute.  
_Four_ of them?  
Come to think of it, it's also way too quiet over here.  
"Where's Vinnie?"

_Earlier this day, right after the mice are being captured...  
_"You coming back to the base?", Kiwi asked through the radio.  
"No time", Vinnie answered while popping a wheelie and speeding away.  
"What are you gonna do then?"  
"Gonna find us some help. Even the entire group of Freedom Fighters ain't big enough to stand up against a army of this size. Besides, half of them is way too inexperienced. That would be a suicide mission", the white furred mouse explained while pushing his bike to the limits.  
"Which I usually don't have a problem with, but I can't risk the lives of my bro's."  
"You don't mean…"  
"Bingo, sweetheart. I'm going on a little rat hunt. In the meantime, I need you to summon the best and most experienced Fighters and make sure they're ready to go the moment I give the signal."  
"Copy that, macho mouse."  
"I love it when you talk like that…", he moaned playfully.  
"I know. Stay safe, love. Kiwi out for now."  
Vinnie smiled, but it soon faded again.  
He hit the accelerator, knowing he needed to be fast as possible.  
I mean, time wasn't really on their side right now.  
Luckily for his bro's, coach and Carbine, he wasn't only the master of disaster, but also the king of speed.

Since driving through the deserts of Mars wasn't that much of a challenge, his thoughts soon wandered off.  
No surprise there.  
He was one of the lucky ones who was doomed with a easily distracted mind.  
He couldn't help it, just as much as he wanted it, but it was Harley who immediately popped up.  
There were so many mixed feelings about her being alive.  
He was happy, but concerned at the same time.  
It also came with insecurity.  
And fear.  
He wasn't doubting his love for Kiwi.  
He wasn't in love with Harley, not anymore.  
She had a place in his heart, of course she had, giving the circumstances surrounding her disappearance.  
He was devastated when he lost her. It was still haunting him in his dreams.  
Even if Throttle told him it wasn't his fault, he still blamed himself.  
He wasn't able to forgive himself.  
How could he?  
So yeah, he was happy that she's still alive.  
Because that meant he could get some closure.  
Selfish, maybe…  
But the unadulterated truth, yes.  
And he was known as a selfish mouse.  
One of his less charming qualities...

But he couldn't ignore the fact that he was also worried.  
Worried about what was gonna happen if she was standing right in front of him.  
She was, after all, his first real love.  
And it wasn't that they broke up because they both came to the conclusion they just… mismatched.  
Ya know, with the whole awkward and cliché_ 'It's not you, it's me'_ thingy.  
No, she was literally ripped away from him.  
Brutally.  
He never mentioned his time with Harley.  
All the moments they'd shared.  
That it was so much more.  
So much more than Modo and Throttle ever knew.  
And even more than Stoker ever knew.  
And will ever know.  
The guy would probably rip off his head, based on his attitude at this moment.  
Vinnie shook his head, turning up the volume of his radio, an attempt to stop this train of thoughts.  
He didn't wanna go there. What was the point?  
It would bring him nothing, nothing but pain and misery.  
Everything was different now.  
Right?

RIGHT!

He needed to focus on his job, namely; getting his friends out.  
No time to swoon melodramatically, thinking back about the better days of his youth.  
I mean, it weren't only better days.  
It was the same time that he got injured, the same time that Jester fucked him up for good.  
Man.  
Hearing that Harley was still alive brought back too many memories, it opened too many doors in his mind which he had locked for good.  
What in the world was gonna happen if he sees her again?  
His bike beeped, a welcome distraction. Boobytrap at eleven o'clock.  
Great.  
Just the ticket to distract his mind.  
Exactly what he needed.  
He pushed a button on his bike and the cannon's popped out.  
His bike beeped happily, as if she was just as excited as her rider.  
She probably was, though.  
That's why he loved her so much.  
Him and his bike, two peas in a pod.  
A missile left his bike and the explosion was deafening.  
Vinnie fired his jets and jumped over the flames.  
"AAAOOWWW, Vinnie van Victory triumphs again!", he howled while landing.  
"Come on, sweetheart, let's see if we can find more of them."  
And he hit the accelerator.  
Time to stay focussed and find help to get his friends out.

_At the old Plutarkian base...  
_Throttle let out his breath. They were sitting here for hours now.  
Luckily, Vinnie had made it out.  
But the tan furred mouse was worried about his, a little bit too eager, young bro.  
The army that was guarding this base was no kitten up in the tree.  
He was almost praying that Vinnie realized that he couldn't do this by himself.  
Not even him. Not this time.  
But, given the fact that it was still quiet around here, gave him hope that the white furred mouse had used his brain for once.  
Probably because Kiwi told him to.

Suddenly, the door opened and everybody jerked upright, ready to defend themselves against whoever was gonna walk through that door.  
And when they saw who it was… well, that was a surprise to say at least.  
And that was an understatement.  
There wasn't one word that could cover the load.  
"My dear Biker Mice…"  
Stoker's jaw almost dropped on the floor.  
"_Limburger_! How is this even possible?"  
Lawrence Limburger walked inside the cell with two guards behind him.  
"Oh, don't look so surprised, you miserable rodent. You should've killed me when you had the chance… But _oh!_ I almost forgot… You're the good guys… And therefore, you don't kill. Good for me… A little less convenient for you...", Limburger gloated.  
"I didn't need to kill ya, you were already dead! Well, your brain was…", Stoker said confused. "It's the same…"  
"But that's where you're wrong! You see, you forgot about my dear doctor Karbunkle, who not only managed to get me out, _again_ by the way, but also to restore my damaged brain. A true genius, this man… Or whatever he is…"  
Stoker bit his lower lip.  
After he'd found out about Harley, he never went back to the cell's to check on Limburger.  
Stupid…  
He'd made the classic mistake… He'd let himself be distracted by love.  
Rule number one in the Freedom Fighter hand book…  
And he, the leader of the resistance for fuck sake, completely ignored this first and golden rule.  
Man...

"You _knew_ we were coming…", he breathed.  
It all made sense now.  
"Yes! Yes, and now I finally have you imprisoned… The leader of the Freedom Fighters with his best soldiers… A true gift for the High Chairman, one that will definitely change his mind about me. He might even give me a promotion!"  
The mice shared a look.  
"Listen up, stinkface…", Throttle started, but Limburger held up his hand while smiling with his eyes closed.  
"Not now, my dear boy, I'm gloating…"  
Throttle blinked a few times.  
By the looks of things, Limburger was back to his usual, arrogant self.  
He was even wearing his purple suit and mask again.  
He had no idea what Karbunkle had done to him, but it definitely worked.  
Well, not in their advantage, though…  
There was only one thing that Limburger apparently forgot...  
Or he couldn't count, but Throttle seriously doubted that.  
He knew for sure how to count his money.  
For whatever reason, there was one thing were Limburger was unaware of… and that was that there was still one of them out there.  
_Come on, Vinnie… We need you here… Hurry up…_.

_Somewhere in the Martian desert, present...  
_Vinnie had finally reached the place where he'd met the female rat for the first time.  
His foot hit the brake pedal and his bike came to a halt. While opening his visor, he looked around him.  
"Dammit, I knew I should've asked for her number…", he mumbled, seeing nothing but an empty desert.  
How on Mars was he gonna find her?  
He needed to lure them out. But he and his bro's kinda destroyed all the boobytraps in this area… hehe.  
_Wait.  
_What do ya know...  
He just had a idea!  
A rare thing.  
But very welcome at this point.  
Atta boy.

"Kiwi, come in."  
"Yeah, Vinnie?"  
"I need you to tell me where the Outsiders are hiding. We put a tracker on them, right?"  
"Yeah… But I'm not sure if it's exactly _sane_ to go to enemy territory all by yourself... ", his girl answered hesitantly.  
"Wait, what? What happened to ya that you think I'm sane? Besides, we've got no choice, sweetheart. We need them."  
"Well, yeah, but…"  
"Just give the me coordinates. Now."  
His voice was low and the message was loud and clear.  
No discussion.  
Kiwi must have realized this too, because shortly after, his bike beeped.  
"Got it. Thanks, babe, you're one in a million. Love ya, gotta go, bye!"  
"Be careful, you crazy mouse. Kiwi out."  
Vinnie smiled while grabbing his handlebars.  
Careful. As if.

He followed the coordinates which brought him to a canyon.  
Only one way in, as far as he could tell, and that was a small road right through the huge walls which were made of the characteristic red Martian rocks.  
Not exactly your most ideal situation to enter enemy territory...  
Great, ain't it?  
Predictable could be so boring.  
And where's the fun in that?  
Adrenaline started to rush through his veins while he was following the narrow road.  
After a while, the road narrowed even further, and there was just enough room for him and his bike.  
Just when Vinnie thought he couldn't get through, the road widened and all of a sudden, he was standing on a open space.  
But before he could take a good look around, a arrow landed right in front of his bike.  
Vinnie's lips curled into a smile.

_Bingo. _

He pulled off his helmet and raised his hands in the air.  
He glanced around him out of the corner of his eyes and counted at least ten rats who were aiming there crossbow at him.  
"What is your purpose of coming here? All alone…?", a voice asked from behind him.  
"Chill, sweetheart. I ain't here to fight, I'm here to… bargain…"  
Okay, that's it.  
He now officially needed to remove Limburger from his life.  
From the moment you started to talk like someone else, you just knew you were getting too close.  
That you were spending too much time together.  
And close was the last thing he wanted to be with that stinkfish, let alone spending time with him.  
Before you knew it, they wanted you to wear a friendship ring and share juicy stories over a cocktail…

_Okay, enough. _

"And why should we believe you? You come here, to our place, armed to the teeth and you expect us to believe that you only came here to… talk?"  
"Not my usual style, I agree, but yeah… Guess that sums it up nicely."  
"Weapons down! Now!"  
_Ah.  
_He was hoping he would hear that husky voice. And right on time.  
The female rat was walking towards him, accompanied by two guards.  
Vinnie flashed her his most charming smile, but her face remained blank.  
"What are you doing here?", she asked while stopping in front of him.  
"Well, just so you know, this is a rare thing, but… I came here to ask for your help…"  
The female rat studied his face. Vinnie saw how the guards tightened their grip around their crossbows and he flexed his muscles…  
But the female held up her hand, a sign to her guards that they needed to stand down.  
Vinnie looked into her eyes, which were almost purple, strangely enough.  
"And why should we help you?", she eventually asked.  
"For same reason you've helped us before…", Vinnie winked at her.  
"Which is?"  
"I dunno... You tell me, sweetheart."  
She looked him in the eye, and man, she took her time.  
But Vinnie didn't burdge, didn't even blink.  
He needed her, after all.  
But dammit, this was awkward.  
But then, finally, a smile appeared on her face.  
"I must say, you're either very brave or very desperate to come here, all alone, to ask for help. My name is Talli", and she offered him her hand.  
"A little bit of both, actually. But mostly brave. The name's Vinnie", he answered arrogant and shook her hand.  
"So tell me, what is it that you need?"  
Vinnie gave her his trademark smile.  
"Your army."

_At the old Plutarkian base...  
_"So, now what? You're just gonna hand us over to Plutark?", Throttle asked.  
"Something like that…", Limburger smiled smugly.  
A smile that was bad news, alright.  
"Okay, okay, I'll bite. What's your genius plan this time, cheese face?", Carbine snapped at Limburger.  
"I'm sure you remember this place. You know what we do here, hehehe…"

_The mindbender._

Shit.  
Stoker shook his head.  
"You got me once, but you sure as hell ain't gonna get me twice. No way."  
"Excuse me for asking, but what exactly is it that gave you the impression that you actual have a choice?", the big Plutarkian asked, but without waiting for an answer, he pointed at Stoker.  
"Start with him", he ordered the guards.  
"No, leave him alone!", Throttle yelled while pulling on his shackles, but it was no use.  
"You keep your slimy fins off of him!", Modo roared in anger, his eye glowing red.  
He was also pulling desperately on his chains, an attempt to free his armcannon, but with the same unsatisfactory result as with his tan furred bro.  
The guards ignored them, and both bend over to grab Stoker.  
Who, of course, wasn't planning on coming with them without a fight.  
His tail lashed through the air, but one of the guards was prepared for that and ducked.  
Without giving any warning, he poked a stick in Stoker's ribs.  
The brown furred mouse screamed in pain when the electricity jolted through his body and soon after, his whole body became limp.  
Modo was still trying to free his arm, but before he could blink, the guards had already dragged the unconscious Stoker outta the cell.  
Limburger followed them.  
"Just sit back and relax. As you can imagine, the doc is a little... _preoccupied_ at the moment, but he will come get you as soon as he's ready… Muahahaha!", he laughed and slammed the door behind him, leaving the rest completely helpless behind.  
"Shit, there's _no way_ that Vinnie is gonna be here on time to stop this", Carbine pointed out.  
"Don't say that. It's Vinnie, after all. He has the tendency to surprise ya every once in a while", Throttle answered shortly, still pulling on his shackles.  
"Well, then he better hurry, otherwise Stoker's brains are fried", Modo growled.

_Outside the old Plutarkian base...  
_"Quiet night", one of the guards said to his colleague, who nodded and yawned.  
They were standing on the roof on the lookout.  
"You've got that right. Fine by me, it's my last shift for this week. Tomorrow, I'll fly back to Plutark for some family time."  
"That's nice. I wonder when the chief is gonna let Mars be, so we can all go home. This goddamn place is done anyway…"  
"I know, right…"  
They both yawned again.  
"Yep. Definitely a quiet night", they said in unison.  
But then...  
"AAAAOOOWWW!"  
Vinnie's characteristic battle cry echoed over the, for now, deserted plains.  
Both guards jumped up, goosebumps all over their slimy bodies.  
"What on Plutark was _that_?"  
They both grabbed their binoculars and one of them breathed in sharply.  
"What the... "  
"It's an invasion! Sound the alarm!"  
"So far quiet…", and the guard slammed on a red button.

Meanwhile, Vinnie landed on his tires after a flawless backflip with his bike.  
The engine roared, and he pumped his fist in the air.  
"It's tail whippin' time! So, my dear fellow soldiers... _ATTACK!_"  
A massive group with Freedom Fighters and Outsiders followed him over the hill and Vinnie cheered happily.  
"I always wanted to say that, bwahahaha!"  
He looked over his shoulder with a big grin.  
"Ready, partner?"  
Talli rolled her eyes.  
"I am _not_ your partner", she said sharply, but a smile curled her lips.  
Vinnie adjusted his mouse shaped mirror and gave himself a quick but appreciative look.  
"You wish you are... "  
"Honestly, it's hard to imagine there's a girl out there who actual endures you."  
"You're just jealous, doll."  
"I am _not_. Now, let's focus on the mission", Talli quickly said with red cheeks.  
"Anything you say, sweetheart, anything you say!" and Vinnie opened fire on the army that came out the base.  
And with that, the battle begun.

Vinnie was taking the lead, making his way through the huge army.  
While standing on his bike, which drove full speed through the mass of Plutarkians and rats while firing her laser, Vinnie was shooting around him with a laser gun in both hands.  
"AAAAOOWW, you're messing with Vinnie van Wham, baddest mamma jammer from this side of the asteroid belt!"  
"Are you crazy?", Talli yelled at him while driving next to him.  
Vinnie shot her a quick look and even he had to admit, he was impressed by how she handled her crossbow.  
She fired her arrows almost as fast as his bike fired her laser or as his fingers squeezed the triggers of the guns in his hands.  
And she never missed.  
"What makes ya think that?", he grinned, while his bike fired a missile big enough to wipe away one square feet of Plutarkians in front of him.  
"Oh, I dunno, maybe because you're standing on your… You know what? Never mind. I've already answered my own question."  
She shot a arrow straight into the head of a rat that tried to fire his bazooka, which was aimed at Vinnie.  
"You're welcome", Talli giggled when she saw the look on his face.  
"Great. Now I owe her one…", he mumbled.

But soon, he already got the opportunity to pay his debt by kicking a Plutarkian off his weird looking bike when he rushed by.  
Therefore, the fish wasn't able to pull the trigger of the weapon that was aimed at Tallie.  
"Now we're even again, sweetheart", he snickered.  
"Thanks", the female rat answered shortly, also not amused that she needed someone to help her out.  
"No biggie… _partner_..."  
"Aargghh! Let's just try to get inside at that side, okay?", Tallie suggested as she pointed at the building. "We can use these doors to…"

***BAM***

A huge explosion made a hole in the wall, just inches away from the doors.  
Tallie looked at Vinnie, who winked at her.  
"What? We're the Biker Mice! And we don't use doors."  
"Geez, imagine that. Why use a door when you can blast your way in?", Tallie replied sarcastic.  
"I'm glad to hear we're on the same page."  
Vinnie dropped back on his seat and grabbed his handlebars.  
Tallie gave him a glare, but the white furred mouse activated his radio.  
"Kiwi, sweetheart, we're almost ready to go in. Can you scout the place for us?"  
"If you ask politely, I might do that, yeah…", Kiwi answered teasingly.  
"Puuuhhleaaase?", Vinnie howled, while firing another missile.  
"Sure thing, love. I'm going in."  
The drone flew over his shoulder towards the building and went inside.  
"My girl can search for my friends while we're having the fun, Tallie girl!"  
"You call this fun?"  
"Well,_ yeah_?! Come on, nothing better than blowing up stuff, the smell of war… No?", Vinnie added when he saw the look on Tallie's face.  
Her mouth was narrowed and she had this look in her eyes…  
But soon, that changed and for the first time that he met her, she actual smiled.  
It made her twice as beautiful, mainly because it was such a sincere smile. And her eyes were twinkling.  
"Never thought I would say this, but you're right. It is fun!"  
"AAAOOOWW, I can dance to that!" and Vinnie popped a wheelie, let go of his handlebars and after grabbing his laser guns again, he stretched both arms and he opened fire while spinning on his rear tire.  
Talli stared at him for a moment.  
"Yep. He's crazy. He's _definitely_ crazy", she mumbled, but with a smile on her face.  
It was somehow refreshing, fighting alongside this crazy ass white furred mouse.  
Her people were always so serious.  
She was happy she was finally able to have a little fun for once in her goddamn life.

They fought their way closer to the building, when Kiwi's voice filled Vinnie's ears.  
"I've found Stoker, he's in the lab…"  
The moment she said these words, Vinnie's heart skipped a beat.  
Fuck. _FUCK_!  
He couldn't go in there. The lab was next to that awful room where Jester…  
No. No, no, no, no…  
"Wow, Vinnie, calm down!", Kiwi called out, probably feeling his distress. "Try to keep your head in the game!"  
The white furred mouse took a few deep breaths.  
"Kiwi, I can't… I just… Is he okay?", he stuttered, sweat already streaming down his back.  
Even if Talli noticed his sudden change in behaviour, she remained silent.  
"He's not okay, Vinnie. He needs you. Karbunkle is in there, he's attaching electrodes to Stoker's head, who is tied up and can't move a muscle."  
"Where are my bro's? If I can get them out first, then…"  
"_No time!_ I don't even know where they are yet. You need to do this by yourself, I'm sorry, I know how hard this is, but you've got no choice."  
Vinnie jumped with his bike through the hole in the wall inside the building and he stopped with shrieking brakes.  
His whole body was shaking, his heart almost exploded in his chest…

Suddenly, a hand on his arm.  
He looked up, straight into the friendly eyes of Talli.  
"Come on, I've got your back... ", she smiled.  
Vinnie turned away his gaze, somehow ashamed…  
"..._partner._"  
He looked at her again and after seeing nothing but kindness and trust in her eyes, he nodded.  
"You're not alone, Vinnie. I'm with ya, and so is Tallie. You can do this. I believe in ya."  
After taking a few deep breaths, the white furred mouse revved his bike.  
"Okay, okay, let's do this."  
He looked over his shoulder, and seeing the Fighters and Outsiders fighting side by side somehow gave him the strength to continue his path.  
Maybe Mars wasn't that lost yet.  
Maybe, he wasn't either.  
"You go find the rest, sweetheart… I'll go get Stoker", he said determined into the radio.  
"Copy that, macho mouse. I'm so proud of you…", she whispered the last part.  
Vinnie shivered when he heard her low and soft voice and it made his heartbeat slow down a little.  
He looked back at Tallie.  
"Alright, partner, follow me."  
And he sped into the building, knowing where to find the lab.  
Oh, he knew, alright.  
Everybody thought he was under a sedative when they found him and there was no way in hell he was gonna help them outta that dream.  
Because truth to be told, he had been paralyzed by fear and hadn't been able to snap out of it, not until he was back in the cave.  
God dammit.  
The shame.

Tallie followed him.  
Guards came outta every room and hallway they passed, but they didn't gave them too much trouble.  
Sometimes, Vinnie caught himself wondering where the Plutarkians got their training.  
I mean, come on… Look at them. That they were able to walk was a miracle to say at least, let alone fight...  
And yet, they'd managed to take over the whole planet.  
Maybe it was because they had the numbers.  
Maybe it was because the government had sold Mars out.  
Maybe it was because they had the advantage of surprise back then.  
Vinnie remembered the day that the war had started as if it was yesterday.  
He was just living his life, his normal life, as a normal, but at the same time probably more stubborn than usual, teenager.  
But then the bomb landed on his house and he already knew back then that his life was never gonna be the same again.  
And that all happened in like… two minutes.  
He was forced to grow up within two minutes.  
The pain and anger he'd felt shortly after he realized he just lost everything, changed him into another person.  
It took away a piece of his, then, pure soul.  
Just like that.  
Everybody kept telling him that he needed to grow up.  
But he did. In his own way, he did.  
Maybe not how you were supposed to grow up, but come on.  
He was only sixteen back then. What did people expect?  
Deep inside, he was still that stubborn and rebellious, but not that normal anymore, teenager.  
_Focus, van Wham.  
_Stoker needs ya.

They arrived at the lab without too much trouble.  
Most of the Plutarkians and rats were outside, trying to stop the large group of Freedom Fighters and Outsiders.  
That made things a lot easier for Vinnie and Tallie.  
Not that Vinnie liked easy.  
But going into that lab, with all the memories and trauma that came along with it, was a challenge in itself.  
He almost pulled a muscle in his back because his whole body was so tensed, sitting on his bike like he'd swallowed a broomstick.  
Which must be a ridiculous sight.  
But dammit, this was hard, even for him.  
_Especially _for him.  
While driving through the hallway that led to the lab, Tallie drove up next to him.  
She didn't ask if he was okay, a thing he was grateful for.  
She just gave him this look, as if she was trying to tell him that she knew and didn't judge him.  
Ugh.  
She meant well, and sure, it helped, but it was a massive blow to his ego at the same time.  
He hated it to be treated as one who was vulnerable, and even if he knew deep down he was, he was still in denial.  
So stubborn.

When they almost reached the lab, she gestured at the door while slowing down.  
"After you. I mean, I don't wanna interfere with whatever it is that you have with doors", she smiled.  
Vinnie took a deep breath and fired a missile, blowing up the doors and he drove inside, before he could change his mind.  
He immediately saw that the place hadn't changed a bit.  
The door to Jester's lab immediately appeared in his field of vision and he felt another shiver running down his spine, but this time it was one of fear.  
Could you believe that?  
_Ugh.  
_"Cavalry!", he yelled, trying to sound happy as always, but his voice had this sharp edge that usually wasn't there.  
Karbunkle stood up bend over Stoker who was lying on the table, but jumped up as if he got stung by a bee by the violent entrance.  
You would think that by now he was used to that.  
It wasn't the first time that this happened.  
Far from.  
Vinnie shot the leather belts which were holding the brown furred mouse on his place.  
"You owe me one now, oldtimer!", he snickered while following Karbunkle who was running away in fear.  
"If it means I'm able to control my own brains, I don't mind owing you more than one, punk", Stoker replied happily, jumping off the table.  
Tallie stopped next to him and offered him a place on her bike.  
"You know where to find the rest?", she asked, while Stoker climbed behind her.  
"Yeah, just go through that door and follow the stairs down."  
"I've recently learned that you guys don't use doors", Tallie replied dryly and Stoker chuckled.  
"You've got that right."

He saw how Vinnie fired a rope, which whirled around Karbunkle, making him fall on the floor.  
"What do ya wanna do with him, Stoke?", the white furred mouse asked, his gaze focussed on his bike.  
He was standing close, too close, to the door that led to the small, dirty lab where Jester had forced him to grow up a little more.  
Where he took away another piece of his, by then, already damaged soul.  
He couldn't look at it.  
He just couldn't.  
"Leave him, we've gotta go and get out the rest."  
Stoker pointed Talli in the right direction and Vinnie quickly followed, letting out his breath.  
"I've gotta warn ya, punk, but it's Limburger who's behind all this", Stoker yelled over his shoulder to the white furred mouse, who almost fell off his bike when he heard that.  
"Say _what_? But you said…"  
"I know what I said", Stoker snapped at him, hoping that would shut the young mouse up.  
But of course, Vinnie wasn't one who gave up easily.  
"Then why... "  
"Because I made a mistake, okay?! I was… distracted... "  
Vinnie knew enough.  
He'd already noticed that the coach was in to this way too deep, blinded by his need to save Harley.  
He couldn't actually blame him.  
Heck, he would've done the same.  
Look at what happened when he heard about his sister…

"Okay. But I think we all agree now that if we run into that cheese breath, we'll end him once and for all, right?"  
"By all means. With pleasure."  
"Well, stand in line. You ain't the only one who still has unfinished business with that cheesy moron", Vinnie growled.  
"I know. Take the stairs", Stoker then said to Tallie, who did what he said.  
"Stop here", and Stoker jumped off Talli's bike and walked to a metal door.  
Which was locked, of course.  
The brown furred mouse rubbed his chin, looking at the door while thinking how to open it without too much force, to protect the ones inside.  
But Vinnie pushed him away impatiently, lit a flair and burned the lock.  
After that, he kicked the door open.  
Three surprised faces looked up at him.  
"Ya know, I bet you guys are getting awfully tired of me saving your sorry tails all the time", the white furred mouse grinned arrogant.  
"I'm just glad you're here. Stoker okay?", Throttle asked, also smiling.  
"Still riding free, rookie", Stoker answered relieved while walking inside the cell.

Vinnie kneeled down next to the chains that were holding his friends.  
He lit another flair and for once, luck was on their side.  
It wasn't Plutarkian steel and the flair cut through the chains like a knife through butter.  
"Vincent, give me a few of your flairs, I'll handle things here. You and Stoker can search for other prisoners", Throttle ordered.  
Vinnie saluted.  
"Sir yes sir!", and he threw a handful of flairs towards his tan furred leader.  
Suddenly, Tallie showed up on the doorstep and Modo's eye immediately started to glow red.  
"Wow, wow, easy, big fella. She's with us", Vinnie said hastily when he saw it. "Without her, we weren't talking here right now. Guys, meet Tallie. Tallie, meet Throttle, Modo and Carbine. Don't mind Modo, he's got a little… soft spot for rats."  
"Soft spot? You probably mean allergy…", Modo mumbled, but then he relaxed. "But everyone who's willing to fight side by side with us is a friend of mine", and he nodded friendly at Tallie.  
"Lucky me", she winked at him. Then, she grabbed Vinnie by the arm.  
"Come on, let's search the building and after that, get the hell out of here. This place gives me the creeps."  
"You said it, babe", Vinnie agreed shivering. But then, he realized what he said and swung an arm around her shoulders.  
"But don't worry, doll, I'll protect ya."  
"Hmm, really, huh? And what are you gonna do? Slap them in the face with that massive ego of yours? Hoping they're gonna faint when you flex your muscles and smile your most charming smile?", she teased him and playfully pushed him away.  
"Autsj, harsh, sweetheart", Vinnie moaned while grabbing his chest theatherically. "But about that smile…"  
"Okay, enough you two. Focus", Stoker interfered and after winking at Tallie one more time, Vinnie grew serious again.

Him, Stoker and Tallie walked into the long hallway, opening every cell, but so far, they were all empty.  
"Where the hell is everybody…", Stoker mumbled while walking further, when all of a sudden, a loud click was heard.  
"Don't move."  
The voice was cold. Distant.  
But definitely female.  
Stoker stopped death in his tracks, causing Vinnie and Tallie to bump into him.  
They all stared at the person in front of them, but she was standing in the shadows.  
The only thing they saw was a gun which was aimed at them.  
"Why don't you show yourself? If you're gonna kill me, then at least look me in the eye while you're at it", Stoker said, his voice low.  
A silence.  
The gun lowered.  
The person who was holding it, did a step forward.  
"St… Stoker?"  
It was as if the brown furred mouse got struck by lighting.  
"Harley?"  
He looked at the light brown furred female mouse who was now standing in front of him.  
Her blue eyes were wide open, staring at Stoker with disbelief written on her face.  
She hadn't changed, not at all.  
Well, now he looked closer, he saw she was a little skinnier than he remembered.  
Her hair, that used to be long and soft, was now shorter and looked greasy and dirty.  
She was wearing a uniform with the colours of Plutark.

Vinnie, who was standing behind Tallie and Stoker, could only stare at first.  
God dammit, she really was alive.  
Jesus, those eyes… Blue like the ocean.  
It caused a wave of emotions that almost washed him away by only looking into those eyes.  
Happyness.  
Shock.  
Relieve.  
Guilt.  
Love.  
Embarrassment.  
_Insecurity..._

He did a few steps back, suddenly wishing he could disappear, right here, right now.  
He didn't want her to see him.  
Because he knew, he just knew, he could only stare at her.  
Speechless.  
Yeah, speechless.  
It would be too awkward.  
What in the world was he gonna say to her?

"_Hiya, it's great to see you're not dead after all, but I already moved on with my life. Sorry?"_

Nope.  
That was definitely a no go.

Luckily, the hallway was dark and he was now standing in the shadows.  
Even if his fur was white, after the fight earlier this day, it was grey of dirt and dust.  
So, not even if his fur could betray him at this moment.  
Stoker, who finally found back his voice, looked at the gun in her hand.  
She had lowered it, but still…  
"Why do you have a gun?", he asked, a little suspiciously and very confused.  
Harley sighed and put it back in her leg holster.  
"It's a long story…", she mumbled.  
Stoker was about to answer, when Tallie suddenly pushed him aside.  
"Meadow?"  
Harley looked up surprised and one hand covered her mouth.  
"Tallie? What… why… how…", she stuttered, clearly at loss here.  
So were Stoker and Vinnie, who shared a quick look.  
These two knew each other?  
Say what?  
And why did Tallie call her Meadow?  
Harley, who was still standing in the dark about Vinnie's presence, gave up her attempt to say something that made sense and pulled Tallie in her arms.  
"I'm so happy to see you again, are you okay?"  
"I am. And you? I thought I lost you…"  
"I'm fine now…"

Stoker was staring at the two hugging females and Vinnie had to admit, the look on his face was priceless and would've been funny under other circumstances.  
"Okay, I'm officially confused now. What the hell is going on here?", the brown furred mouse eventually asked.  
Harley made herself loose from Tallie.  
"Look, it's a long story, but Tallie here is the best friend I ever had. I'll explain everything later, we need to go…"  
"No, not without at least a few answers, Harley. Why are you walking around waving a gun, wearing their clothes…? We thought you were a prisoner?"  
The light brown furred mouse looked at him with fuming eyes, almost burning a hole in his skull and Stoker flinched, he just couldn't help it.  
"I _am_ their prisoner. But I also work for them. There are more ways of being a prisoner next to sitting chained up in a cell, Stoker."  
"You're _working_ for them?"  
"Not by choice, I'm not! They have something from me and if I don't do as they say…"  
"And what is it that they have?", Stoker demanded.  
He couldn't believe himself, but he was actual suspicious.  
This woman was the love of his life and here he was, doubting her intentions.  
But this was the last thing he'd expected.  
There were so many ways he'd pictured himself saving her, but this definitely ain't one of them.  
"Well?", he insisted, hating himself for the tone he was using, but he needed to know if she was telling the truth.  
If she wasn't…

_So help me God…_

Harley looked him straight in the eye, there was a fire burning in her blue eyes that he'd never seen before.  
"My son. They have my son."

* * *

A son? A SON?  
Oh my…

What will happen if Harley sees Vinnie?  
What's the story with Tallie and Harley?  
And what about Limburger? Is gonna get away… again…?  
Or will they catch him?

Enough stuff to think about, huh?  
Feel free to leave a review.

Till the next update, my loyal readers.

Ciao!


	9. Chapter 9

Hey you guys…

Not much to say, except thanks for the reviews.  
Next chapter, maybe with a little bit more grammar mistakes, but I'm groggy and dazed because of med's...  
I did the best I could.

Enjoy! ^^

* * *

**Chapter 9**

Vinnie's mouth fell wide open, his lower jaw almost dropped on the floor.  
So did Stoker's.  
Tallie, on the other hand, didn't seem to be surprised at all.  
"They have Shaylon?", she growled, her husky voice even lower because of anger.  
"They do… They threatened to kill him if I would only _think_ so much of trying something to escape. They forced me to work as their nurse and mechanic. What choice did I have? I couldn't let them kill my Shaylon…", Harley explained with shaky voice. "So, I do as they say and by that, I've earned their trust. One of them gave a gun, so I was able to protect myself. Not every Plutarkian is that fond of Martian Mice. Besides, what can you do with one gun, a old one, who only carries three bullet's..?"  
Vinnie opened his mouth to tell her about all the things he could do with just one gun, but stopped himself right on time.  
Stoker slowly recovered from the first shock.  
"You still have a lot of explaining to do…"  
"Actually, I don't. I don't owe you anything."

Stoker blinked a few times after hearing her offensive tone.  
She sure was on fire.  
And he wasn't sure whether he liked it or should be angry for disrespecting him like this.  
He was, after all, the leader of the Freedom Fighters.  
"I came to get you. You _do_ owe me one. But I agree now ain't the time. We need to get the rest of the prisoners…", but Harley cut him off.  
"There _are_ no other prisoners, Stoker. I'm the only one left. All the others are killed. Most of them died during the horrible experiments they do in these labs. You can act like you're the knight in shiny armor, rushing in here to save the damsel in distress, but you're kinda late. _Too_ late, actually. It's just me now. I'm lucky enough that they needed my skills, otherwise I would've been long gone too."  
Anger, pain, sorrow.  
It was all hearable in her voice.  
This wasn't quite the reunion they all were hoping for…

It was Tallie who broke it off.  
"We can talk later, once we're all safe and sound. Do you know where they hold Shaylon?", she asked at Harley.  
"They move him all the time, so I didn't know about his whereabouts. A little insurance to avoid I would plan an escape. All I know that he's here inside this building."  
"The building is big and we don't have that much time…"  
Stoker turned around to Vinnie, who already knew what was coming. He shook his head, stepping back, but Stoker ignored his desperate attempt to stay undiscovered.  
"Vinnie, contact Kiwi and ask her if she can help us find the boy."

A deadly silence.

Harley's head jerked up as soon as she heard his name.  
She now saw a silhouette standing in the shadows, clearly hiding from her.  
"My god… Vinnie? You're… here?", she eventually managed to bring out.  
Vinnie closed his eyes for a moment.  
God dammit, Stoker.  
But he knew that this moment would come.  
Sooner or later.  
He prefered later, but apparently and thanks to Stoker, it was sooner.  
Too soon.  
Here goes nothing.

"Hi…", he squeaked, hardly able to look her in the eye and he did a few steps forward.  
The tension that was already there, became even more suffocating just now.  
There was a long silence, while Harley was staring at Vinnie, who was staring at his feet in return.  
The tip of his tail was twitching, so were his ears.  
Nobody knew what to say.

Awkwaaaaard…

It were Throttle, Modo and Carbine who saved the distressed white furred mouse by popping up behind him.  
"We need to locate the bikes, call Kiwi…", but Throttle trailed off when he saw Harley.  
"Harley… I can't believe my own eyes…", he eventually said. "It's so good to see you again…"  
Harley gave Vinnie one more look, which he desperately avoided, and then looked at the tan furred mouse.  
"Same here, Throttle."  
Before she could say anything further, a light grey blur flew towards her and crashed against her.  
Harley looked down and saw how Carbine held her in a tight hug. With a smile, she wrapped her arms around the General and one of her oldest friends.  
"Carbine… Oh my god, I've missed you so much."  
"You have no idea how happy I am that you're still alive and that you're actual here…", sounded the muted voice of Carbine.  
The two females had been close friends before Harley disappeared.  
That Carbine was happy to see her, was an understatement as much as it was understandable.  
"Harley ma'am, I don't know what to say… Welcome back…", Modo said hesitantly, and Harley, who was still holding Carbine, smiled at him.  
"Thanks, Modo. I never thought I would see your faces again. I mean, I thought you guys didn't make it..."

While everybody gathered around Harley, Vinnie used this moment to make a hasty retreat.  
He turned around and walked away, breathing heavily.  
God, this was so much heavier than he thought it would be.  
"Kiwi, sweetheart, talk to me…", he breathed in the radio, clearly on his way to a panic attack.  
Being in this building was already hard enough, and seeing Harley again…  
Dammit.  
"I'm here, love. Breath…", Kiwi said softly.  
"I can't do this, this is too much, I just want you here so I can hold ya… Why you're not here… I need you...", he whispered, pacing through the hallway.  
"If only… But you need to hold on for a little while longer, Vin. I know you can. I've heard everything, so I just hacked into the security system and I'm already searching for the boy as we speak."  
Vinnie's tail lashed through the air, not able to control his thoughts.  
"She has a _son_, Kiwi, a son. I can't stop thinking about… Jesus, what if… what if it's _mine_?", he hissed, almost losing his mind, hardly able to get the words outta his mouth.  
Kiwi breathed in sharply, the sound echoed against his eardrums.  
It made him feel nauseous, strangely enough.  
"Yours? But you… You_ slept_ with her?"  
"I did, I did. No one knows, I never told anyone, didn't seem that important, why should I, it's none of their business..."  
He was babbling, he knew it.  
But he couldn't stop it.  
It just came out, like a waterfall.  
"But you guys… you… what? I thought you became a thing right before she was kidnapped..."  
"Not true, not true. I'm sorry, I promised no more secrets, I failed ya, again…. I just… I couldn't talk about it… Too much, too much... "  
"Jesus, Vin… God dammit", Kiwi cursed, her voice sharp as a knife.  
It only made Vinnie's panic bigger.  
"No, no, no, no, sweetheart, please, I know you're upset, and you have every right to be, but right now, I need ya, I'm losing my mind over here..."

Kiwi took a deep breath.  
"Okay, okay. We can talk about this later, I guess… You need to breathe, love, breathe. Follow my lead. Inhale, through the nose… And exhale through the mound…"  
She repeated it a few times, but it didn't work. The only result was that he even became more hyper.  
"This ain't working!", he snapped at her.  
"I'm only trying to help…"  
"I know, I know… I'm sorry..."  
"Wait. I've found something. How long has Harley been missing?", Kiwi asked urgently.  
"What? I dunno, my brains abandoned me from the moment I saw her, they just stopped working, completely blacked out… I think about six years ago", he immediately added, still babbling like kid having a sugar rush.  
"I found the kid. And he's too young to be yours. Besides… he's looking a little… strange…", Kiwi said soothing, the relief was clearly hearable in her voice.

A huge weight fell off his shoulders and Vinnie was finally able to breathe a little.  
Thank the Mothers of Mars, it wasn't his. That would make this day even worse, and it was already a very bad day.  
Slowly, he calmed down again.  
But then, the words dawned on him.  
"Wait, what do ya mean, strange?"  
"You'll see. He's on the second floor."  
Vinnie suddenly realized that everybody here was on the same radio frequency.  
That meant they could hear every word he'd said...  
No, wait, they weren't wearing their helmets.  
But given the look on Stoker's face, he still had managed to hear every word.  
Sensitive hearing, remember?  
Shit.  
"Thanks, sweetheart, you're the best. Time to finish this and go home. Vinnie out."

The white furred mouse walked back to the group, avoiding any sort of contact with Harley.  
"The kid is on the second floor."  
Stoker gave him a dirty look, apparently not amused about what he'd heard just now, but Vinnie couldn't care less at this point.  
He needed to get outta here, as soon as possible.  
"Alright, Modo, Throttle, Carbine; you guys go find your bikes. Harley, Talli, me and Vinnie will go get the kid. After, we'll meet outside to take a look at the situation there", Stoker ordered.  
"I'll go with Throttle to help find the bikes, Stoke…", Vinnie started, but Stoker shook his head.  
"You're coming with me. And that's final."  
Oh boy, was he in trouble now…  
He gave Throttle a helpless look, but the tan furred mouse shrugged back as much as helpless.  
It was Stoker who gave the order, after all.  
And Stoker was the big boss.

Vinnie watched how his bro's walked away with Carbine and took a deep breath.  
He whistled for his bike, fighting a inner battle. There were only two bikes, his and Tallie's, and he didn't want Stoker nor Harley to ride with him.  
But he couldn't just let one of them stand there, that would be harsh, even for him.  
Pick your battle.  
"Need a ride, oldtimer?"  
Stoker looked one more time at Harley, and Vinnie saw a hint of regret in his brown eyes.  
Poor guy.  
This whole thing probably ain't how he'd pictured it, at all.  
But then, the brown furred mouse jumped behind Vinnie, who immediately hit the accelerator, desperate to leave this awkward… thingy behind.  
"Second floor, love, the first door at your right. Two guards are guiding the place, so guess it's just as easy as taking a stroll downtown", Kiwi said into the radio.  
"Copy that, sweetheart. Vinnie out."

Stoker looked behind them and when he saw that the two girls were out of range, he leaned forward.  
"You _slept_ with her?", he hissed furious.  
Vinnie gritted his teeth. He was so not in the mood for this.  
"Yeah, so? What's the difference? It was a long time ago."  
"But what if Kiwi is wrong and the kid is y…"  
"It ain't mine, and Kiwi being wrong is a rare thing. Can we drop this subject now? I'm not in the mood to discuss my former sex life with my coach. Geez, what the hell is wrong with ya? Some things are meant to stay private. I mean, it's not like I ask you if you slept with her, right? Gosh…"  
He felt how Stoker shifted his weight, wiggling on his seat and he rolled his eyes while sticking out his tongue.  
"God dammit. coach, I didn't wanna know!"  
"What, I said nothing?!"  
"Exactly! You didn't deny it either! Jesus, my eyes…",the white furred mouse spit out.  
He opened his visor and rubbed his eyes.  
"When did that happen anyway?"  
"I thought you didn't wanna know?", Stoker asked slightly amused despite the situation.  
"I didn't! But a little bit too late for that now, huh?", Vinnie breathed, grabbing his handlebars tightly.  
"It was a long time ago, punk. That's all you need to know."  
"Fine."  
"Fine."  
"Is there an echo in here?", Vinnie said sarcastic, but then grew silent, so was Stoker.

End of conversation.

Explosions were heard from outside, a sign that the fight wasn't over yet.  
Vinnie suddenly wished he was there, instead of here.  
Fighting a battle, outnumbered or not, was so much easier than being here.  
So much easier than this emotional stuff.  
Ugh.  
"What if the kid is yours?", Vinnie blurted out.  
"Then I try to be a good dad to him", Stoker responded. "But I know it ain't mine."  
"How so?"  
"For someone who didn't wanna know, you do ask a lot of questions!"  
"Hey! You're the one who brought it up!"  
"And you were the one who asked to drop the subject. So, drop it!"

Vinnie gritted his teeth, drove up the stairs and took the right.  
And indeed, just like Kiwi said, two guards immediately opened fire on them.  
It was cute that they even tried.  
An _A_ for devotion, that's for sure.  
"See? She's never wrong", Vinnie smiled and returned fire.  
So did Stoker, Tallie, Harley and the two bikes.  
Within two seconds, the guards were already down.  
"Maybe this was a little overkill…", Stoker chuckled while climbing off Vinnie's bike.  
"Can't be too safe these days", Tallie answered dryly.  
"Agreed", Vinnie smiled, but then realized what he said.  
"Not too safe, of course. That would be boring", he quickly added and Tallie shook her head with a smile while stepping off her bike.  
"Honestly…"

Harley clearly wasn't in the mood for chit chat and tried to open the door, but it was locked.  
She turned around and bend over to get the key from one of the guards, but Vinnie already fired his laser and the lock exploded.  
"Why using a key when you can blast your way in, huh?", he grinned arrogant while blowing away smoke from his gun.  
"See you haven't changed a bit", Harley responded while pushing the door open.  
A dark blur flew towards her and jumped in her arms.  
"Mommy!"  
"Shaylon… Ssshhh, it's okay…", the light brown furred female shushed soothing while wrapping her arms around her son.

Vinnie glanced at the boy and immediately understood what Kiwi meant with strange.  
His fur was dark brown, almost black. But that wasn't what made him different.  
His nose was.  
It was sharper than the muzzle of a Martian Mouse.  
His ears were smaller and less hairy.  
But it was the tail that gave away that this kid was, without a doubt, the son of a rat.  
But he had the eyes of his mother. The deepest blue...  
"Vinnie, come in."  
"Yeah, Throttle?"  
"We've got the bikes and are ready to leave this place. What's your status?"  
"We've found the boy."  
"Good. Is he okay?"  
"How the fuck should I know, I'm not good with kids!", Vinnie reacted, way sharper than he intended to.  
A silence and the white furred mouse sighed.  
"But yeah, he's okay."  
"Meet us downstairs. Throttle out."  
Vinnie whistled between his teeth to get the other's attention.  
"I hate to break up this mushy reunion, but we've gotta go", he said shortly and mounted his bike.  
Stoker jumped behind him and Tallie gently took Shaylon out of Harley's arms.  
"Hey you, kiddo. I'm so happy to see you", she whispered and after giving him a tight hug, she placed him in front of her.  
Harley climbed behind her and with that, they were ready to go.

When they came downstairs, the rest of the group was already waiting.  
"So, what's the plan, fearless leader?", Vinnie asked while stopping next to Stoker's bike and the brown furred mouse switched seats and put on his helmet.  
Throttle looked at Stoker, who signed back that it was Throttle's call this time.  
He was too upset. He wasn't able to think clear.  
"Guess it ain't that hard. We're gonna do what we do best", the tan furred mouse smiled.  
"Oh yeah? And what's that?", Tallie asked, and Carbine rolled her eyes.  
"Here we go…"  
"WHIP SOME TAIL!", Throttle, Vinnie and Modo yelled in unison while popping a wheelie.  
"Oh right. Sorry I asked", Tallie sighed.  
"You get Harley and the kid into safety", Throttle said to her. "We'll handle the rest."  
"Alright you mamma jammers…", Vinnie howled, not able to hold himself back any longer.  
He needed to blow off some steam, big time.  
"Let's ROCK…"  
"...and RIDE!"

Tallie reached a safe place without too much trouble and she stopped her bike next to a rock formation.  
"As long as we stay behind these rocks, I guess we're okay for now."  
Harley climbed off and took a few deep breaths.  
"Ahh. It's good to be outside again."  
"I can imagine. God, Meadow… I'm so happy that you and Shaylon are okay", Tallie breathed, while holding the little boy who was leaning against her, his little hands holding hers.  
Harley turned around to look at Tallie and gave her a small smile.  
But it was a sad one.  
The female rat saw it, she saw the sadness in her eyes, and she gave Harley a worried look.  
"I'm sorry, it's just…", the light brown furred mouse started , but her voice broke.  
Tears filled her eyes and she put a hand in front of her mouth.  
"Hey, hey, what's wrong?"  
Tallie reached out, took Harley's hand and squeezed in it.  
"You know you can talk to me…"  
"I… I just never thought I would see him again…"  
"Who?"  
Harley looked at her female rat friend, her blue eyes wide open.  
She slowly lowered her hand.  
"Vinnie…"

Tallie narrowed her eyes.  
And it suddenly clicked.  
"Wait… He's the guy you told me about?", she managed to bring out.  
Harley nodded, tears now streaming down her face.  
Tallie needed some time to process all this.  
"Wauw, I… I never knew", she eventually said.  
"How on Mars is it even possible that you know him? Know them?", Harley asked, her voice small.  
"I… I ran into them a few weeks ago. Let's just say I was… intrigued… I helped them out a couple of times, knowing they were searching for prisoners. And since I couldn't find you by myself... I knew it was a long shot, but I was willing to do everything, to risk everything, to find you. Anyway, apparently, I earned their trust , because Vinnie came to me to ask for my help, telling me his friends were captured during a scouting mission and well, here we are. I had no idea that this particular mission was about you, to get you out. Heck, till today, I had no idea that they even knew you", Tallie explained, rubbing Shaylon's arm absently.

Harley studied her friends face. Something was up, she could tell.  
Her heart skipped a beat when she looked into the purple eyes of the best friend she ever had.  
No way...  
"You like him, do you?", she blurted out.  
Tallie's head jerked up, a faint blush visible under her fur.  
"What, no!", but Harley gave her this look…  
"Okay, maybe a little. But it doesn't matter."  
"And why is that?"  
Tallie didn't want to answer that question.  
The light brown furred Martian Mouse had told her about her past.  
About her friends.  
About a guy she was seeing…

Harley may haven't said it in so many words, but Tallie had seen in her eyes, back then.  
That white furred loudmouth was the love of her life.  
How on Mars was she gonna tell her best friend that that same guy had moved on with his life?  
That he was now being with someone else?  
This was not her story to tell.  
"Tallie…", Harley started, but the sound of approaching bikes distracted her and Tallie let out her breath.  
Talk about good timing.

"AAOOOWWW, another victory for the Biker Mice!", Vinnie cheered while he stopped his bike with shrieking brakes.  
"And the Outsiders", Tallie added sharply.  
Vinnie, who was all hyped up, at least had the decency to flinch.  
"Right", he smiled sheepishly.  
He shot a quick look at Harley, but when he saw she was looking back at him, he quickly turned his gaze away again.  
This was high school all over again.  
Well, so to speak, of course.  
It's not that they actually went to high school.  
But you get the point.

"Another successful mission, bro's", Throttle smiled satisfied.  
"And did it in style", Modo nodded.  
"Biker mice style", Vinnie snickered proudly.  
"Time to go back to the base, guys", Carbine said while revving her bike.  
Stoker looked at Harley and saw her glancing at the white furred mouse who was standing close to her.  
He lowered his gaze with pain in his stomach.  
All the hope he had just flew right out of the window.  
She was obviously still in love with that loudmouth.  
Again, he wasn't be able to call her his.  
And the pain was overwhelming.

Throttle felt the tension, it almost made the end of his fur stand up straight.  
He looked at Vinnie, who was fiddling with his fingers, eyes lowered.  
Then, he looked at Stoker, who was staring at his handlebars with pain written on his face.  
His gaze wandered to Harley, who was shuffling with her feet while glancing at Vinnie from under her lashes.  
Ah man.  
Time to go back.  
It was obvious to Throttle that it was time to talk.  
But how to arrange a decent talk without explosions or involving other weapons, well… That was gonna be challenge, even for him.  
This subject was, after all, very, very touchy.  
He then looked at Carbine, who gave him a reassuring smile.  
As if she was trying to tell him that everything was gonna be okay in the end.  
That's why he loved her so much.  
She always knew what was going on inside his head.  
He smiled back and revved his bike.  
"Yup, let's go, troops."

It was then when things went horribly wrong.  
Harley was about to walk to Tallie's bike, but all of a sudden, Limburger popped up behind her.  
Nobody saw it on time.  
Not until it was already too late.  
The Plutarkian grabbed her from behind and pushed a gun against her temple.  
Harley, who had no idea what was happening, let out a soft yell in surprise.

Vinnie looked up when he heard her voice and his eyes grew big.  
Really?  
Are ya kidding me?  
Was he having a deja vu, or what?  
"Of course it is I who has the last laugh, you repulsive rodents! How dare you to escape your painfully and deathly faith..._ again_?!"  
Everybody was staring at him, all frozen.  
It was Stoker who broke the silence.  
"Let her go, you fucking mutant. Now!"  
"I'm afraid that's not possible. You see, even if you managed to get away without so much of a scratch on your repellent bodies, this time victory will be bittersweet. You finally have your precious mechanic back, after searching for all these years… But I'll take her with me, and this time, I'll make sure you won't be able to find her…Ever... Muahahaha!"

Throttle gritted his teeth, knowing his hands were tied.  
He saw that Vinnie was the closest to Limburger, he also knew that his younger bro possessed the skills and determination to end this.  
But the white furred mouse was sitting on his bike, frozen as a statue, staring at the whole scene with his eyes wide open.  
"Vinnie, snap out of it…", Throttle whispered softly in the radio, so soft, that Limburger wasn't able to hear it.  
Vinnie did hear it. He heard the husky voice of his older bro and leader, but he didn't understand a word he was saying.  
He was back at that day, that day that Mace took Harley away from him.  
He could even smell the stinking rat...  
"Vincent…"

He was caught between past and present, and the shock was overwhelming.  
It completely paralyzed him. He wasn't able to move his body.  
"Come on, bro, I know you can hear me…"

Vinnie's gaze wandered to Harley.  
And when he looked into her eyes, who were looking straight at him, it was as if he got struck by lightning.  
He knew that look.  
It was haunting him in his dreams, every night.

_No._

Not again.  
Not this time.  
This time, there was no fucking way that he was gonna fail her.  
If he did, if he would lose her again, at the same way he'd already lost her once…  
He couldn't even think about what that was gonna do to him.  
He'd lost his sister twice.  
Look what that had done to him.  
He couldn't handle that again, not anymore.  
His soul was too damaged already.  
It would cost him too much.

Limburger was still gloating, already slowly walking backwards while dragging Harley with him.

Permission to shoot to kill.  
Only as last resort.  
Only when you want it.  
That wasn't even a question.  
Time to end this.  
Once and for all.

Time stopped ticking.  
He looked Harley deep in the eye and one corner of his mouth curled up.  
Her face softened.  
Even after all these years, she still knew that smile.  
Shit was about to get real.  
She gave him a small nod, to let him know she was ready.

Without thinking, without any hesitation and in one smooth movement, Vinnie pulled both of his guns outta his leg holsters, aimed and pulled both triggers.  
This whole thing just cost him like… two seconds.  
That was exactly why this worked.  
He used the element of surprise.  
Limburger had no idea what was coming to him.  
His body was already dead when it hit the ground with a thump.  
One hole in his head and another one his chest, his blood colouring the red sand black.

Harley fell on her knees with tears in her eyes.  
And before Vinnie even knew what he was doing, he was already kneeling next to her and took her in his arms.  
She clung to him, crying while her whole body was shaking.  
Vinnie just held her, his eyes closed and stroked her back.  
He could not believe he was holding her again.  
She even smelled the same.  
That was one of the first things he forgot, back then.  
Her smell.  
But now, while holding her, he immediately recognized it again and it gave him the sudden urge to cry.

_My god._

This was crazy.  
She was really back.  
It felt like a second chance.  
And he was finally able to close that chapter.  
Chapter?  
A whole book, god dammit.

Yes, he'd failed her once and he would be forever sorry that he did.  
But not this time.  
Because this time, he was able to do what he wished he had done, so badly, the day that Mace took her.  
This time, he was able to save her.  
This time, he didn't fail her.

He pulled off his helmet, sat down cross legged and pulled her in his lap.  
She was still crying and sitting like this suddenly reminded him of Kiwi.  
It reminded him of that day when the human girl fell down from Limburger's tower after the whole Monster Zilla thing  
It reminded him how he saved her and that after, she couldn't stop crying.  
It reminded him how he was sitting with her like he was now with Harley.  
He closed his eyes and rested his chin on Harley's head, who had her nose buried into his neck, still crying.

Having her back was overwhelming.  
The love he felt was almost suffocating.  
So was the relieve.  
But his heart remained closed.  
His heart belonged to Kiwi now.  
He knew it.  
He felt it in every fibre of his body.

_Man._

How was he gonna tell her this?  
How was he gonna tell Harley, his first and long lost love, that his heart belonged to someone else now?

_Back on the base...  
_Kiwi was watching the scene on the screen with Jax sitting next to her.  
How her macho mouse pulled the light brown furred female into his lap.  
How he held her.  
How his hand stroked her back.  
It made her sick to the stomach.  
The silver furred mouse laid a hand on her arm, but she was staring at the screen as if she was in a trance.  
"Kiwi, maybe this is just a release of all the sadness and sorrow from the past…", he said softly. "It probably means nothing…"  
But Kiwi shook her head, suddenly not being able to look at the screen any longer.  
Not for a second longer.  
"I can't watch this. I… I need some air", and she jumped at her feet.  
But a sharp pain in her abdomen reminded her that she just had surgery three days ago.

_God dammit._

But nothing was gonna stop her. She needed to get the hell outta here.  
Tears jumped into her eyes while she rushed to the door, as fast as possible, holding one hand against her belly.  
"Kiwi, wait…", Jax started, but Kiwi shook her head while opening the door.  
"Jax, don't. Just don't. I need to be alone now."  
And she was already gone before Jax had the chance to say more.

My god, she hadn't felt this sick before in her life.  
She stumbled to her room and once inside, immediately opened the two doors that led to her balcony and almost ran outside.  
Ah. Fresh air.  
She fell on her knees while breathing heavily.  
She had no idea what to think. What to feel. What to expect.  
All she knew, was that seeing the love of her life being this close with another girl, made her sick.  
Well, seeing him with Harley, that was what made her sick.  
Because she wasn't just _a _girl.  
This was his long lost love.  
The girl that still haunted him in his dreams.

God, if she was gonna lose him to Harley, she was gonna end her life.  
Her own life. Without any hesitation.  
Love can be such a beautiful thing.  
But it was poisoning at the same time.  
Even deathly.  
Love and hate.  
Heaven and hell.  
They all walked together, hand in hand.  
And there wasn't a damn thing you could do about it.

She had no idea how long she was sitting here, staring at the floor, while silent tears streamed down her face.  
But the sound of engines made her look up.  
With a sigh, she slowly climbed back on her feet and looked down.  
The mice were driving through the front gate and her gaze landed on Vinnie.  
Harley was sitting behind him and his tail was wrapped around her waist.  
God dammit, he_ promised_.  
He promised that his heart belonged to her now.  
How could he do this to her?  
Maybe she was jumping into conclusions too quickly...  
But still, seeing them together just broke her heart.

"Let's go to my room and talk. I have too many unanswered questions, a thing I don't like", Carbine ordered while stepping off her bike, now back in the garage.  
Vinnie opened his mouth to protest, to tell Carbine he wanted to go see Kiwi, but Throttle shot him a warning glare.  
The white furred mouse cursed under his breath, while helping Harley off his bike.  
He didn't look at her. He just couldn't.  
After their… little moment together, when he realized what he was doing and even more important; when Kiwi popped up in his mind, he'd untangled himself and created some distance.  
Well, that worked only until she climbed behind him on his bike without warning.  
And he didn't had the heart to tell her she needed ro ride with someone else.

When he turned around, he saw Kiwi standing in the doorway.  
And he was still holding Harley's hand.  
He quickly let go.  
Dammit, this wasn't how it looked like.  
And the look on her face told him that she took it the wrong way.

_No..._

She turned around and walked away, the door closed softly behind her.  
Vinnie wanted to go after her, but Throttle grabbed his arm.  
"Later, bro."  
"But…"  
"Later."  
Vinnie yanked himself free.  
How much he hated this.  
But orders are orders.  
The mission, the war, came first.  
It always came first, god dammit.  
And still softly cursing, he followed the group to Carbine's room.

When everybody sat around the table, Carbine looked around.  
"Where is Kiwi?"  
"She ain't coming", Vinnie said shortly, hoping Carbine wouldn't ask further questions.  
The light grey furred female gave him a look, but then her gaze landed on Tallie.  
"Tallie, welcome on our base. I wanna start with thanking you. For your help. You had absolutely no reason to fight by our side, but you did. Thank you."  
Tallie nodded.  
"You're welcome. I did have a reason, actually. Meadow…", and she pointed at Harley, who was holding Shaylong tightly.  
"And that's what brings me to my first question… How do you two know each other?", Carbine asked.  
Tallie looked at Harley, who signed she was okay with Tallie telling the story.

The female rat gave her a little encouraging smile before turning her attention back on Carbine.  
"Six years ago, Mace brought Meadow, for you known as Harley, to our home. Yes, we know Mace…", she said when she saw the shocked looks on the faces around her. "Mace once belonged to our people. But he lost his way and made the decision to work alongside the Plutarkians. With that, he turned his back not only to Mars, but to his own people too. He was banished for life, but that didn't stop him from coming back from time to time, trying to convince my father, the leader of the Outsiders, to take him back."  
She looked around the table.  
"So, Mace brought Meadow… I mean Harley, to my father. You should know, my father was a cruel man. He ruled with a iron fist. Mace gave Harley to him as a gift... "  
Stoker slammed his fist on the table, completely out of the blue and everybody looked up startled.  
"A gift? Jesus, she's a person, not a thing!", the brown furred mouse snapped.  
"Jesus, Stoker, calm down, you scared the crap out of me", Carbine snapped back. "Just let her tell her story."  
Stoker narrowed his eyes, but then let out his breath and signed to Tallie to continue.  
The female rat shot him a apologetic look.  
"I can understand your anger. I didn't agree with my father's way of ruling, but back then, there was nothing I could do. Nobody dared to stand up against him, and I wasn't strong enough to stand up on my own. Anyway, Mace brought Harley with him and offered her to my father. All he wanted in return, was permission to come back. He even begged him on his knees… But my father wasn't one who gave second changes. Not even…Not even to his own son…"

A deadly silence.

"Mace… Mace is your brother?", Throttle eventually brought out.  
"I'm afraid he is. But you don't get to choose your family, unfortunately... My father accepted Meadow as one of his wife's and for a moment, it looked like he was gonna forgive Mace. But then, he took out his sword and chopped off his head, right in front of me, without saying a word..."  
"Good", Vinnie growled. "What goes around, comes around."  
"Vincent, show some respect. No matter his actions, he's still her brother…", Modo hissed at his younger bro, but Tallie smiled.  
"It's okay, Modo. I do not mourn for the loss of my brother. He was a true son of his father, cruel, vindictive… The world is a better place without him. Where was I.. Right. My father possessed Meadow's life for almost three years…", Tallie trailed off again and glanced at Harley, who sighed.  
"Tallie here made my life a little bit more bearable. She took care of me, as far as she was able to. Gave me food, cleaned my fur, gave me clean clothes… You know, the little things that make a huge difference. We got talking and the rest is history..."  
"Later, when I found she was pregnant, I decided this had to end. I knew my father would kill the baby if it was a boy, to keep his position safe. I mean, that wouldn't be the first time. Mace was the only son he had, he needed at least one heir… Anyway, Meadow and me both had the strong feeling her baby was gonna be a boy and I just… I just couldn't take it anymore. Maybe my father would let the boy live, since Mace was dead, but I couldn't take the risk…"

She looked around the table.  
"I knew I was the only heir left, the next one line… And I wasn't alone anymore. It was time to stand up against my father. So, we made a plan and succeeded. I killed my father by poisoning him and claimed the throne. The first thing I did as the new leader was giving Meadow her freedom back."  
"I eventually decided to stay, at least until my child was born…", Harley added. "But with Tallie as the leader, it started to become my home too and I decided to stay. I'd heard rumors about your death", and she pointed at Modo, Throttle and Vinnie. "...and I decided not to take any chances. There was nothing left for me. But the Plutarkians found me when they invaded our home. They took me and Shaylon with them, and because of the chaos, nobody noticed, not until it was too late. I've been forced to work for them ever since. But then you guys showed up. And here we are."  
"I did everything I could to find her, but it was no use. Not until I met you guys. I heard you were freeing prisoners and decided to help out a little. Never did I know that you guys knew Meadow", Tallie added.  
"Why are you calling her Meadow?", Throttle asked curious.  
"Because Harley is dead", Harley said sharply before Tallie could.  
A silence.  
The pain was clearly hearable in Harley's voice and the look on her face told them she had been through too much.  
Stoker hesitated, but then reached out and laid a hand on her arm.  
"She's not dead. I can still see her in your eyes. But she's been through a lot. And therefore, she's in pain. But you're home now… and we're here for ya. We never stopped looking for you, Harley. I need you to know that...", he said softly. "And we're all so glad that you're home again."  
Tears jumped into Harley's blue eyes and for a moment, she laid her hand on his.  
"Thank you…"

Vinnie jumped at his feet, not able to look at this for a second longer, knowing that Kiwi was somewhere on this base, being upset because of him.  
He needed to talk to her, right now.  
"No matter how touching this all is, I really have a more important matter to deal with right now", and he walked to the door.  
"Vincent", Stoker started, but the white furred mouse gave him the finger without turning around and left the room.  
Stoker's eyes grew big, but Throttle quickly intervened.  
"Let him go. We can talk to him later. He just needs… some time..."  
"I think we all need some time to get our thoughts on a row, coach", Modo said while standing up. "I really need to go to talk to my father now. I need to get myself some answers before it's to late. Today proved, again, it can all be over before you know it."  
Stoker let out his breath and nodded.  
"You're right. I'm just… I guess a little hot under the helmet…"  
"And no one's blaming ya for that, Stoke", the grey furred giant said friendly and after patting the brown furred mouse on the shoulder, he also left the room.

Stoker looked at Carbine.  
"Do we have a room left for Harley and the kid?", he asked, knowing Carbine knew this sort of details by heart.  
"Yeah, the room next to Kiwi is free."  
But before Stoker could answer, Harley asked the question from which they all wished she wouldn't ask.  
"Who is Kiwi? I've heard her name a couple of times now, so she must be important, but I can't remember a Kiwi…"  
Carbine swallowed while looking at Throttle.  
The tan furred mouse adjusted his specs.  
"Kiwi is our friend from Earth…"  
"You guys been to Earth?", Harley called out surprised.  
"Hehe, yeah. Wasn't exactly a planned trip, but yeah, we've been to Earth. Kiwi decided to come with us when we were finally able to come back home…"  
"She left her own planet to live here, at this… carcass?", Harley asked, even more surprised.  
"Yeah, she did. She's really special", Throttle answered blankly, without giving away anything further.  
But Harley didn't buy it, Throttle could tell, so he gently took her hand.  
"Talk to him, Harley. If you want answers, you really should ask them at the right person. In this case, I'm not your guy."  
Harley swallowed with difficulty.  
"Okay…"

"What's Earth?", a small voice suddenly asked and everybody looked at Shaylon in surprise.  
"Hey, so you do know how to talk, huh, little fella?", Throttle smiled friendly.  
The little boy boy nodded, suddenly very shy now all the attention was focussed on him.  
Harley smiled.  
"Why don't we go to our room, then I'll tell you everything you wanna know about Earth. How does that sound?"  
Shaylon nodded again and Stoker jumped up.  
"I'll show you your room, come on."  
"See you guys later", Harley said and gestured to Tallie to walk with her.  
The female rat followed her and Stoker and by that, peace was restored.

Carbine and Throttle, now the only ones left, gave each other a look.  
"What a mess", they said in unison and because of that, they burst into laughter.  
Throttle rose on his feet and pushed Carbine towards her bed.  
"But finally, we have some alone time…", he said, his voice fulfilled with promises.  
"I've got me a feeling that you already know how to fill up that time…"  
"I might have a few ideas, yeah…"

* * *

Feel free to leave a review, always very much appreciated.

Thanks for reading my story.

Later dudes!


	10. Chapter 10

Hey y'all.

Thanks for the reviews.

The only thing left to say; enjoy the next chapter! ^^

* * *

**Chapter 10**

Vinnie found Kiwi in her room, lying on the bed.  
The door closed behind him, but she didn't even look up.  
The white furred mouse, who was already cranky because of all these million emotions he had to deal with this entire day, felt a pang of anger.  
Why was she doubting him? That just wasn't fair.  
He never doubted her when Chaz popped up outta nowhere.

_Dammit._

He marched towards the bed and dropped next to her.  
She rolled over, with her back towards him and he let out a humorless laugh, he just couldn't help it.  
"Can you _puhlease_ enlighten me why it is exactly you're giving me the cold shoulder?", he asked, his voice low and trembling.  
Kiwi shrugged but still said nothing.  
Vinnie folded his hands under his head, his tail twitching in annoyance.  
"Well, I ain't gonna leave this room until you've talked to me. Even if that means I need to stay here the whole night. Or the whole week, for that matter."  
"You promised me…", he heard her muted voice after a long silence.  
"Promised ya what?"  
She rolled on her back and looked at him with fuming eyes.  
"You promised me you weren't going anywhere! You promised me that your heart belongs to me now!"  
"Yeah… so?"  
"So?! _SO_!? Then why are you…", but he didn't even let her finish that sentence.

_Enough with this madness._

He rolled on his side and grabbed her by the chin.  
"Now you listen to me, Kiwi. You saw some things which you have misunderstood and I'm sorry for it, I really am. And I'm trying to understand the fact that you let your own eyes deceive ya. But to be honest; I'm surprised to hear that you have this less faith in my love for ya…"  
His ruby red eyes were almost burning a hole in her skull.  
Kiwi blinked a few times.  
"Oh."  
"Yeah. _Oh_. You really thought that I would throw away everything we have, huh? Well, newsflash; I ain't going anywhere like I already said like a million times or so."  
Vinnie let go off her chin and rolled on his back again.  
Kiwi stared at him, speechless.  
He glanced at her from the corners of his eyes and no matter how fucked up he was feeling right now, his lips curled into a smile when he saw the look on her face.  
She had this sheepish expression her face… Well, maybe _dumb_ was the term he was looking for.  
Not that he was gonna say that out loud.  
Not the time nor the place.  
She would tie his tail in a knot.

"I uh…", she started. "You're right. I'm sorry. I…"  
"Of course I'm right. I always am, duh", he answered teasingly.  
But then, his face grew serious again.  
"Sweetheart, I'm yours. Forever. Why don't you just believe me?", he whispered while pulling her in his arms.  
She snuggled against him and buried her nose into his fur.  
"I do believe ya, but… It's just so hard to believe that someone like you likes someone like me…"  
"What do ya mean, someone like you?"  
"Well, I'm just… an ordinary girl. I'm just.. just Kiwi."  
Vinnie grinned.  
"Well, Just Kiwi… Lemme tell ya that you're _everything..._ but ordinary. You're one of a kind, so am I, so we're the perfect match. Of course, you can't reach my level of coolness, but you're getting close enough…"  
"You're the worst", she giggled as she punched him on the arm.  
With a growl, he rolled on top of her.  
While leaning on his elbows, he rubbed his nose against hers.  
"I love you. So much. We're connected. Try to remember that, will ya? Because I'm nothing without you… Not even me…", he whispered, his voice thick of emotions all of a sudden.

_Ugh._

Kiwi kissed the tip of his nose.  
"I know. I'm sorry I doubted you. I love you too. So much, that I'm constantly scared to lose you. Because I'm nothing without you too…"  
"Guess it's settled then… We're just gonna have to stay together, for the rest of our lives…", he smiled. "Can't say it's a punishment, though."  
Gosh, the way he looked at her. Her heart melted.  
He could be so cute sometimes.  
Almost childish.  
So pure.  
The real Vinnie, without the bravado and smart mouth.  
The guy he was before he got damaged by the war.  
"Sounds like a perfect plan to me. Forever…"  
"Forever…", and he kissed her.  
But not with his usual hunger and excitement.  
No, this was a kiss full of love.  
Full of promises.  
You could almost call it romantic.  
When he broke it off, he gave her his trademark smile.  
"So… about that wedding…"

**_..._**

Meanwhile, Modo was standing in front of the room his father shared with three others.  
But his metal hand felt even more heavy than usual, almost too heavy to lift.  
He was scared, he knew he was.  
Maybe not that macho and manly and all to admit, but at least Modo, unlike some people, was able to be honest with himself.  
And who would judge him for being scared?  
He was about to ask his father, his long lost father, why on Mars he'd left him behind.  
Why he'd left his entire family behind.  
Not exactly your average small talk.

Modo took a deep breath and knocked on the door.  
The time for lingering is over.  
It was time to get himself some answers.  
The door opened and his father came into view.  
"Modo! You were the last one I expected to see… Are you okay, son?", Oscar added worriedly when he saw the look on his son's face.  
He kinda gave the impression as if he was about to throw up.  
The gray furred giant attempted to smile, but the result was more like a grimace than an actual smile.  
"I uh… I'm here to… to talk, I guess..", he stuttered.  
Oscar's face darkened, but then he nodded and stepped outside.  
"Why don't we go for a walk, shall we?"

Modo's heart skipped a beat.  
The last time he took a walk, Rimfire was still alive.  
He remembered that day as if it was yesterday.  
How happy his little nephew was about his promotion.  
How he himself was already worried about his life, scared to lose him, even then.

_Oh, momma…_  
_Wish you were here._

"A walk sounds good to me", Modo answered instead of saying all this out loud.  
While walking through the hallways, Oscar was eying his son with pride.  
"God, look at you. You're immense", he smiled. "You did good, son. You did good."  
Modo had no idea what to say, so he decided to keep his mouth shut.  
If being a soldier, taking lives and living every day as if it was your last was his father's perspective of _'doing good'_, he already started to doubt that this man really was his father.

_Give him a chance, Modo Maverick. Everybody deserves a second chance._

Again, his mother's voice echoed in his head.  
That happened a lot these days, actually.  
It did help him, though.

Once outside, Modo gestured to a small bench that was standing in the sun.  
They sat down and that was the start of a long and uncomfortable silence.  
It was Oscar who tried to break it.  
With the emphasis on _trying.  
_"Look, son, I eh… I don't know what to say… I don't know how to make up for what I did…"  
Modo rolled his one eye.  
"Well, start by being honest. Why did you leave us?", he asked bluntly.  
Oscar chuckled, more out of distress than humor.  
"I did what I had to do. And I still regret it, every day. But I can't turn back time…"  
"That ain't no answer to my question. Why?"  
Modo didn't look at his father when he said this, he was just sitting there, leaning with his elbows on his knees, fiddling with a small stone he found by his feet.

After another long silence, one that wasn't Modo's intention to break, Oscar took a deep breath.  
"You're right. You deserve to know the truth. I'll try to answer your questions as fair as possible, but you need to know it's not easy for me to talk about this. The shame, the guilt… Anyway, that's not your problem. The reason I left you, your mother and your sister, was because you were in great danger... "  
Modo's head jerked up. That was the last thing he'd expected.  
"Danger? What are ya talking about?"  
"Because I knew about the upcoming war. Because I knew the sick games the government was playing."  
"But… the war started years after you left…", Modo pointed out, still very confused.  
"Correct. But politic is a stinky business…"  
"I'm a little lost now... "

"Let me start at the beginning, then. I used to work for the government. My job was simple; taking care of the vehicles they owned. Bikes, cars, tanks, you name it. I guess being their mechanic comes closest to the job prescription. It was a good job, paid well and regular hours… Anyway, one night, I'm in the garage, working late and I heard a conversation. One conversation I wish I never heard. But I can't turn back time. If I could…"  
Oscar trailed off, a pained look on his face. But then, he shook his head and continued.  
"I heard them talking about the Plutarkians, about upcoming negotiations… Long story short, it was about selling parts of Mars. I eavesdropped on them, knowing this was important, highly classified… I was being naive, actually. I really believed that I needed to hear every word, so I was gonna be able to stop whatever they were planning to do to our planet. To our home. But they caught me…"

Modo was listening to this with an aching heart.  
So, even back then, it was the war that took away his father.  
This war… had cost too much. Because he already knew where this was going to.  
"They say when in desperate times, you'll find out who your real friends are. That from the moment things get hard, they'll pick sides. That you can only hope they'll stand by your side when the going gets tough. It's true. It's all true. These two were my friends, I knew them since I was a kid. And when they realized I heard every word they had said… They tried to kill me. Can you imagine? Your two best friends, your bro's, trying to kill you?"  
Modo thought back at the Verminator incident.  
"I think I know the feeling…", he mumbled.  
"It's all about money. Money turns people into animals, wild animals. They are willing to do everything for money. So were these two, friends or not. Luckily, one of them grew a conscience. But they couldn't just let me go. They made me promise to disappear. If I would only _think _so much about opening my mouth, about telling someone about this… Then they would kill my family. So I… I disappeared. The rats took me in. Back then, it didn't matter if you were a mouse or a rat. But when the war started, everything changed… They handed me over to the Plutarkians, traded me for the ones they loved, for their own people. I can't even blame them. The next years I was a prisoner, working my day around the clock in different camps. But then, you came to the rescue. And here we are... "

Modo needed some time to process all this.

_Oh momma, this war… _  
_This war is so much bigger than we knew…_

"I uh… I don't know what to say…"  
"You don't have to say anything. Let it sink in, for now. I don't have the illusion that you're gonna forgive me for what I did. I hate to impose and I won't. But you need to know one thing; I know I wasn't there when you needed me, but now… if you need me now, I'll be there. Always. But only when you're ready, son…"  
Oscar patted Modo on the back, before standing up and walking away.  
Modo watched him go, deep in thoughts.  
But he already knew that he was gonna forgive him.  
That had more than one reason, actually.

_One_; the guy was his father, and as far as he knew, the only family he had left.  
_Two_; he always believed in second chances, being the forgivable mouse he was.  
_Three_; his old gray furred momma would turn around in her grave if he wasn't gonna take this chance to fix things with his dad.

She had never spoken badly about her husband.  
But Modo knew him leaving her had broken her heart.  
And he knew, he just knew, that his beloved momma would've forgiven his father without blinking.  
Because that's just how she was.  
Pure, with so much love to give.  
"Oh, momma… I miss you so much…", he sighed into nothingness.  
And Modo couldn't stop himself having the thought that he wished it was his beloved momma who had come back into his life, and not his father.  
But the universe has spoken.  
And he needed to accept things the way they were.  
No matter how hard that was.

**_..._**

The next morning Kiwi woke up because of her stomach screaming for some food.  
She looked at her side and smiled.  
Vinnie was lying next to her in his characteristic sea fish position, snoring softly.  
The blanket was draped over his lower body, covering everything from the waist down, except for the tip of his tail and feet.  
The unharmed side of his face was buried in the pillow, and he had a little frown between his closed eyes.  
He had never looked this cute.  
Kiwi wished she could stay here to watch him, but her stomach reminded her that she didn't eat anything since yesterday afternoon.  
Deciding to let her macho mouse sleep, figuring he would need it after everything that had happened the last few days, she planted a soft kiss on his shoulder and slid outta bed.  
After putting on some clothes, she tiptoed to the door.  
But when she opened it, she stopped dead in her tracks.  
Harley was standing in front of her, her hand lifted, ready to knock on the now already open door.  
"Jesus, you scare the shit outta me", Kiwi breathed, holding her chest.

Harley lowered her hand and studied the human girl.  
She was so… fragile.  
Tiny.  
Small.  
_  
Cute_.

With her bright blue eyes and rosy cheeks.  
Beautiful black and shiny hair, curling down her shoulders.  
Her hairless skin, soft and colored by the sun.  
Small, but full lips.  
She was beautiful as much as she was intriguing.

Kiwi also decided to use this moment to take a closer look at the light brown furred female.  
A thing which she regretted right away.  
Because she was beautiful.  
Of course she was.  
Vinnie wouldn't settle for less.  
Small build, but muscular.  
Her light brown fur with a golden hue.  
Shoulder length hair, having the same color as her fur.  
Piercings in both of her big ears.  
And her eyes…  
They were the deepest blue.  
Different than her own eyes, she knew that.  
Dammit, this girl was perfect.

Kiwi was the first one who recovered and tilted her head with a questionable look on her face.  
"Can I help you?"  
The sound of her voice broke Harley outta her trance and she gave Kiwi a shy smile.  
"I uh… Carbine told me I could find you here..."  
Kiwi narrowed her eyes, feeling suspicious.  
Which was completely unnecessary, but jealousy got the best of her.  
And Vinnie was lying in her bed behind her.  
She agreed that Harley needed to know about her and Vinnie, but finding your ex, who was probably the love of your life at the same time, in someone else's bed was not the way to find out.  
Despite her jealousy, Kiwi didn't wish that upon Harley.  
Besides, this wasn't her story to tell.  
She needed to hear this from Vinnie himself.

"Okay... Well, you found me..."  
Harley, who was looking just as uncomfortable, held out her hand.  
"I'm Harley…"

_Duh._

Her voice was low, even a little hoarse.  
Kiwi lowered her gaze and looked at the hand.  
As she let out her breath, she hesitantly took it.  
"The name's Kiwi, but you already knew that", she said, not unfriendly. "Nice to meet ya."  
Which was a lie, of course.  
"Same here…", the Martian female answered, probably lying too.  
This was nothing but a facade.  
"Do you… you have uh... time to talk? Maybe I can come in?"  
Kiwi's cheeks turned red, she was already trying to come up with a plan to avoid the light brown furred mouse was gonna see Vinnie, but then she stopped herself. This was getting ridiculous.  
She wasn't one who was comfortable with hiding things or keeping secrets.

Harley must have felt her hesitation because she pushed Kiwi aside and walked into the room.  
"What are you…", Kiwi started, but Harley was already inside.  
Okay, this was not supposed to happen.  
Yeah, she wanted to tell the truth, but not like this.  
So, she made a feeble attempt to stop this madness before things would get ugly.  
"_Hey_! You can't just walk in here! Never heard of privacy?"  
But it was too late.  
The damage was already done.

_**...**_

_Hot dogs._

Hot dogs everywhere.  
He was sitting in Kiwi's kitchen, back on Earth, with a huge pile of hot dogs in front of him.  
All his.  
Next to it, a tray of root beer.  
This was heaven.  
Only looking at it made his mouth watering.  
But when he reached out his hand, a voice stopped him.

"_Hey_!"

What?

"I'm just…", he started, but the voice cut him off.

"_You can't just walk in here!_"

"But sweetheart…"

"_Never heard of privacy?_"

Vinnie's eyes flew open and he jerked upright, his gun already in his hand.  
Which was aimed at a light brown furred mouse with her blue eyes wide open.  
A human girl was standing behind her, a defeated look in her, also, blue eyes.  
"What the…"  
He shook his head, still dazed from sleep, but the sight didn't change.

_Oh_.

This wasn't a dream.  
This was reality.  
And the reality was that Harley found him in Kiwi's bed just now.  
Not quite the way to let her know about... them.  
But the guild was tempered by relief.  
Because at least now she knows, right?  
And he wouldn't be the one to tell her.  
That was worth something.  
But despite all that, this was still very… very…  
..._awkward_.

Vinnie lowered his gun.  
"Harley! What are ya doin' here?"  
The sharp edges on his voice gave away his discomfort.  
Harley didn't respond, she was still staring at him, and Vinnie could see her brains making overtime.  
His gaze landed on Kiwi, who bit her lower lip, also being very uncomfortable as she pointed at him.  
He looked down and quickly covered himself with the blankets.  
Jesus, being awoken like this was already bad enough without him being completely naked.  
Not even his ego could save him now.  
Well, he did have a sexy body, so...

_Shut up._

Harley's ears drooped, so did her antennas.  
Her head lowered, her shoulders slumped.  
It broke Vinnie's heart, actually.  
Her whole appearance was one in defeat.  
"Harley, I…", but before he could say anything further, she turned around and left the room.  
Now it were Vinnie's ears that drooped.  
He looked at Kiwi.  
"What the hell, Kiwi?"

Kiwi, who was on her way to follow the upset female mouse, stopped and raised her hands while shaking her head.  
"Oooh, _hell no_, macho mouse. Don't you dare to blame this on me! I tried to stop her, but she just marched in like a tank. Have you seen this body?!", and she gestured wildly at herself. "This ain't _no_ body that is able to stop a Martian Mouse who's on a warpath, goddammit."  
"It's a nice body, though…", Vinnie said cheeky, looking up at her from under his lashes.  
Kiwi stared at him for a moment, hardly able to keep up with him this time.  
But then, her hands lowered and she burst into laughter, she just couldn't help it.  
The guy was unbelievable.  
Vinnie stared at her as if she just caught fire.  
"What? Something I've said?"

Kiwi shook her head and followed Harley.  
Despite everything, she felt guilty.  
She didn't want to fight with a girl who loved her guy.  
That would be too easy. Too... predictable.  
"Harley, wait up..."  
Harley stopped and turned around.  
The look on her face took Kiwi off guard.  
It was clear the female mouse was hurt to the bone.

"Please, tell me you're just a fling... ", Harley whispered and Kiwi swallowed.  
"I'm sorry, but it's more than just that... We... We're engaged. We're connected..."  
Harley's eyes narrowed when she heard the word_ connected.  
_"You're lying..."  
"I'm sorry, but it's true..."  
"You don't know... You can't know what I've done to be here... To see him again..."  
Tears jumped into Kiwi's eyes by hearing the pain in Harley's voice.  
But Harley's eyes were dry as a leaf.  
Burning with pain, anger and denial, yes... But no tears.  
All too familiar for Kiwi.  
Crying was for the weak for those who were living in a war.  
Vinnie had shown her that.  
God, this war had broken so many spirits.  
It was painful and confronting to see, every single time.

"He went crazy when he lost you, Harley. Throttle told me he spoke to no one for almost a year...", Kiwi tried to reason with her, but it was no use.  
"You don't have to explain to me how hard it is when the rock you hold onto is a love miles away. You're the last one from who I want to hear that..."  
"He searched you for a year. He did everything within his power to find you. But what choice did he have? Eventually, he needed to move on with his life. So he did. But he never forgot about you..."  
Harley's tail lashed through the air.  
"Enough! Tell him to come to me. I need to hear this from _him_!", she spit out, her eyes fuming.  
Before Kiwi could say something, she was already gone.

With a heavy heart, Kiwi walked back into her room, only to find Vinnie at the exact same spot she'd left him, still with a dazed look on his face.  
"I tried to talk to her, but she wants to hear it from you. I can't say I disagree", she said while taking place on the edge of the bed.  
"Yeah, sure, great idea", Vinnie replied sarcastically, shaking his head in disbelief.  
"I'll just walk in there, to tell her... To tell her _what_ exactly, sweetheart? You forgot how bad I am at this stuff?"  
"Hey, you're the self-proclaimed smooth talker here", Kiwi retorted, but then she sighed as her sad smile faded.  
"Look, even if she's your ex and the last person I wanna have in my life, our life... I kinda feel sorry for her... As far as I can tell, the only reason that she's still alive is you. And her kid, probably, but knowing that you were still out there, was her incentive to keep fighting... After everything she's been through, she at least deserves to hear the truth from you. You alone."  
"But..."  
"No buts, macho mouse. I'm right and you know it, you're just too stubborn to admit it. Nothing new. And I don't care, as long as you're gonna talk to her. And I can't believe it's me of all people who is telling you this..."  
"Gosh, babe, when did you become such a bi...", but Kiwi gave him such a deadly glare, he ate the rest of the words and bit his lower lip.  
"Okay, okay. I'll go talk to her..."

He looked at Kiwi, an amused look on his face.  
But his eyes, his beautiful ruby red eyes, were revealing his sadness and insecurity.  
But, as usual, he made a joke out of it.  
"Gotta tell ya, doll, you're a real turn on when being this bossy..." and he wiggled his eyebrows.  
Kiwi grabbed the pillow and smacked it against his head, knowing it was no use to force him to show her how he really felt.  
"Aaarrgh, you're the worst! Now, get dressed, before I...", but she realized she shouldn't finish that sentence.  
_Dammit_, she shouldn't have _started_ the whole sentence in the first place.

Vinnie immediately smelled his way out of an awkward talk with his ex-girlfriend and pulled her on top of him. Carefully though, before he would hurt her.  
"Before you what?", he asked teasingly while his hands crawled under her shirt.  
Kiwi rolled her eyes as she grabbed his hands to stop him.  
"Never mind, forget I said that, okay?"  
"But sweetheart..."  
"Again, no buts, mister van Wham. This ain't gonna happen, not now. And not only because of Harley, but I got surgery only three days ago and apparently... Apparently, I have a wedding to plan", she added with a dreamy smile, her blue eyes twinkling, for a moment this whole mess forgotten.

With reluctance, Vinnie pulled back his hands.  
But he knew she was right.  
Dammit, she almost always was.  
So was Throttle.  
He was surrounded by people who were almost always right.  
It was exhausting as much as it was convenient.  
Kiwi gave him this smile to tell him she knew, that he knew, that she was right and gave him a kiss on the nose.  
Vinnie sighed.  
Definitely more exhausting than convenient at this point.

_**...**_

In the meantime, Harley rushed back to her room, a hand over her mouth.  
Tears made her vision blurry and her breathing came out in rapid breaths.  
Jesus, the pain was almost too much.  
Fighting against her tears, she stumbled back into her room. Shaylon was still fast asleep.  
Good.  
She didn't want him to see her like this.  
As silent as possible, she opened the door to her balcony and closed it with a soft click.  
When she turned around, she gave her tears free rein and she fell on her knees, holding herself tightly.  
At least she had been able not to collapse in front of her.  
Her.  
_Kiwi.  
_Jesus.

He was the one thing, the _only _thing, that had kept her going these past horrible years.  
He was the only reason she hadn't killed herself when she was forced to be a wife for Tallie's cruel father.  
The first year, she still had hope that he was gonna come save her.  
Every night she was lying in bed, her ears pricked, listening to any sign that he would come for her.  
But every night it kept awfully quiet.

So, after the first year of her imprisonment, her hope faded.  
But it was still there.  
Less strong maybe, but at least it was still there.  
Every night she kept having this dream of him saving her on that beautiful bike, with that stupid smile on his face...  
And once she was free, they drove off into the sunset.

_God, she had been so naive..._

The years after, the hope was nothing more but a small spark in her heart, but it never left.  
Not until now.  
Not until she found him in Kiwi's bed just now, making clear to her that the one thing that could crush her had happened.  
Her worst nightmare was coming true.  
He had moved on with his life.  
The spark was gone, there was only a void left.  
An emptiness that nothing, absolutely nothing, could fill.  
Because she lost him.  
For good.  
And the pain was suffocating.  
More than suffocating, actually.  
There was no word that was able to describe how she was feeling right now.  
Broken came the closest, but it still didn't cover the load.  
Because she was already broken.

_Could something that was already broken, break again?_

If it wasn't for Shaylon, she would've jumped off this balcony, right here, right now.  
Her life was already ruined before all this. The things Tallie's father had made her do…  
He broke her.  
He broke her soul and heart.  
He killed the person known as Harley and after, Meadow was born.  
A cold and distant person.  
A person she didn't wanna be.  
But life left her no choice.  
The only hope she had left for Harley, was Vinnie.  
But that hope just vanished…  
Vanished into thin air, to never return again.  
And she had no idea how to handle this.

_**...**_

Vinnie was standing in front of Harley's door, lingering and thinking of how many places he wanted to be right now instead of here.  
But he knew that this time would come.  
He couldn't keep running away from it.  
Kiwi was right.  
Harley deserved to know the truth and yes, she needed to hear it from him.  
Sighing exaggeratingly loud, he knocked on the door.  
His heartbeat rose, his hands turned sweaty...  
But all he could hear was silence.  
He knocked again, but still, no response.

_Ha._  
Maybe there was a god after all.

Feeling relieved, he turned around to walk away, but something stopped him.  
And that was his conscience.  
That annoying little voice in his head was telling him he needed to stop being such a pussy.  
And before he could come up with a thousand excuses, he turned back around and opened the door.  
"Harley?", he asked, his voice shaky.  
Shaky, goddammit.  
And finally, there was a response.  
It just wasn't the one he'd expected.

Because right when he walked into the room, he almost tripped over Shaylon.  
The kid was standing in front of him, his fists clenched and obviously ready to attack the, for him unknown, intruder.  
"Stay away from my mom, or I'll make you!", he yelled, his child's voice already sounding way too mature.  
Vinnie looked down on him, right into the fuming blue eyes.  
It was obvious the kid was very protective over his mother.  
And apparently not that shy anymore.  
"Wow, little wild man, stand down", the white furred mouse chuckled amusedly as he raised his hands, not seeing the little fella as a threat. "I ain't here to hurt ya, or your mother..."

_Ha!_

That's right. Because he already did.  
Hurting her.  
The_ irony_.

But Shaylon didn't budge.  
The opposite, actually.  
His pink and hairless tail swept through the air as he lashed out with his right fist.  
Since Vinnie wasn't prepared for this, because come on, it was a kid, he was too late to dodge it and the little fist ended right in the balls.  
His eyes grew big and he let out a high squeak as he fell on his knees, his hands now in front of his crotch.  
A little too late for that now...  
Gosh, the _horror._

Shaylon now raised his left fist, but before he could use it, a sharp but also calm voice stopped him.  
"Shaylon. Enough."  
The little boy immediately backed down and Harley lay a hand on his shoulder as she looked down on the tough Martian Mouse on the floor.  
"You'll have to excuse my son's rudeness. But he's very protective when it comes to me..."  
Her voice was now soft. Amused.  
As if she was forcing herself not to laugh.  
Vinnie nodded, holding up a hand to signal he needed a little bit more time.  
He took a few deep breaths and the pain, along with the nausea, faded.  
Shame took its place.  
Dammit, this was beyond awkward.  
He just let a little kid get the best of him.  
Ugh…

He got back on his feet, a faint blush visible under his white fur.  
"No problemo, I _totally_ saw it coming."  
Harley's mouth curled into a smile.  
"Sure. And you decided to let him win because that's just who you are, am I right?"  
"Right", Vinnie smiled sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck.  
"Anyway... I uh... I came to talk..."

Suddenly, the nerves were back when he saw how Harley's smile vanished.  
Her blue eyes, which were twinkling from amusement just seconds ago, were now burning in pain again.  
Vinnie swallowed and shuffled with his feet.  
"Shaylon, honey, be a good boy and go back to bed, will you?", Harley said soothing but compelling. "Thanks for backing me up, but he's one of the good guys, believe it or not..."  
Shaylon looked up at his mother as if he wanted to check if she was telling the truth.  
Vinnie may not know that much about kids, but even he couldn't help but notice that the young boy wasn't acting like a normal kid of his age.  
And he caught himself wondering what the hell happened to him and his mother that their relationship was turned upside down.  
"It's okay, really, it is", Harley reassured Shaylon.  
Clearly comforted now, her son walked back to the bed and crawled under the blanket.

Harley looked at Vinnie.  
"Let's talk outside. This is one conversation he doesn't need to hear."  
"Fine by me", Vinnie mumbled as he followed her outside. Harley closed the doors behind him and then turned around to look at the mouse who she was still loving deeply.  
Who was, by the looks of things, still not good in expressing his emotions.  
He was fiddling with his fingers and his ears and tail twitched almost in a rhythm.  
"He really cares about ya", he blurted out.  
"He's my son, of course he does", Harley responded drily.  
"That doesn't always mean anything, and you know it", Vinnie said, a bit sharper than he intended to.  
Harley knew he was referring to his father, which he always had a difficult relationship with while growing up.  
"You're right."

There was a short and awkward silence.  
Harley broke it.  
"Is it true?"  
Her voice was now cold and she knew, she just knew that Meadow had taken over at this point.  
Pragmatic and distant.  
Maybe that was a good thing for now.  
Vinnie finally looked at her and her heart skipped a beat.  
She could read the answer in his eyes, it was practically written on his face.  
But she needed him to say it out loud.  
Why exactly?  
Wasn't this whole thing not already painful enough?  
"Yeah... Yeah, it's true...", he finally managed to bring out.  
His voice was low and so god help her, hearing it brought back so many feelings.  
But it was immediately followed by the pain caused by his betrayal.  
"What about... what about sun and moon?", she whispered, already overwhelmed by emotions again.  
The pain was more than she could bear.

_Bye_ Meadow...

Hello _Harley_...

Vinnie looked at her as if she just slapped him into the face.  
He forgot.  
Of course he did.  
Did he?  
She now saw a glance in his beautiful eyes, one of recognition.  
"I...", he started, but the rest of the words didn't come.

Vinnie felt a pang of pain when he saw her face and fought the urge to wrap his arms around her to comfort her.  
He also fought the urge to run away with dangerous speed.  
Heck, he actually wanted to jump off the balcony right now.  
To flee from her pain, because it was too much for him to see.  
It broke his already broken heart.

_Could something that was already broken, break again?_

She deserved to know the truth, she deserved him being honest and open and... blablabla.  
But that didn't make it easier, now did it?  
Nope.  
But what could he say?  
All there was left to say was...  
"I'm sorry...", he whispered.

She looked up and for a moment, they just stared into each other's eyes.  
Vinnie felt a tingle in his belly, his heart fluttering in his chest, he just couldn't help it.  
Seeing these eyes...  
Sun and moon...  
It all brought back so many memories.  
Good and bad.  
Mostly good.  
Jesus, this was crazy. Beyond crazy.

He knew his heart belonged to Kiwi.  
It really did.  
But he couldn't just ignore the history he shared with Harley.  
It all came back now...

The feeling when he saw her for the first time; as if he got struck by lighting.  
Their so-called dance around each other.  
Their first kiss.  
The nights they spent together.  
Sun and moon...

_Ah man..._

Flashback city...

* * *

So, Modo finally knows why his father left him.  
I sense an upcoming bonding between father and son, hehe.

But first...  
Vinnie and Harley.  
What's their story?  
Because it's obvious they have a story.  
Next to a history, that is.

Feel free to leave a review, always very much appreciated.  
Thanks for reading my story and till next time, guys!

Later!


	11. Chapter 11

Hey you guys.

Thanks for the reviews!

So next chapter is uhm... kinda mushy and super sweet and romantic and stuff.  
But I wanted to picture how important Harley was, and still is, for Vinnie.  
Just so you know, almost the whole chapter is built up in loose fragments of flashbacks from Vinnie's POV.

Anyway, I'll just let you guys read it.  
Enjoy! ^^

* * *

**Chapter 11**

_Once upon a time…_

Vinnie cursed under his breath while looking at the wound on his leg.  
That fucking fish had him good, alright.  
The laser had burned through his pants and fur, _oh_, and his flesh.  
His nose wrinkled when he saw the bloody, black mess that was left behind.  
"You okay, Vinnie?", Modo asked as he joined him.  
"You should see the other guy", the white furred mouse grumbled, cranky like an old man. "But yeah, I'm fine. It's just a little battle tattoo."  
"It looks a little bit worse than that, bro...", Throttle said hesitantly as he lowered his glasses and studied the wound. "Maybe you should let someone look at it."  
"Ugh man, come on. I'm fine."  
And Vinnie wrapped one of his old bandanas around his leg, clenching his teeth in pain because he wasn't that okay as he claimed to be.  
Modo and Throttle shared a look, but then they shrugged.  
It wasn't their problem that Vinnie declined medical help because his ego couldn't bear it.  
"Well rookies, we won this round. And you know what that means...", Stoker interfered, a smile as big as the Chesire Cat.  
"Party, party, party!", they all yelled in unison.

That night, the Freedom Fighters gathered in their secret hideout, a cave dug out in stone under the Holy Chapel, to celebrate their victory against the Plutarkians.  
The guys were sitting in together with some other buddies of them, talking loud with each other.  
"Ah man, _come on_! Everybody knows that Earth ain't flat!", Vinnie called out, waving wildly with his drink. "That's the weirdest thing I ever heard."  
"Yeah? You ever been there, wise guy?", a black furred mouse named James retorted.  
"Well, no, but this is general knowledge, dude."  
"Since when do you have general knowledge?"  
"Hey! I'm not just pretty, ya know. I know things", Vinnie called out outraged while jumping on his feet.  
"Really? How so? The mirror whispers these kinda facts in your ear while you're adoring yourself?", James teased, but before he could blink, Vinnie jumped on him and they fell on the floor.  
"Here we go again...", Modo sighed while shaking his head, looking at the two fighting mice.  
"Well, took him at least five minutes. That's gotta be a new record", Throttle chuckled.  
Modo laughed and the two friends toasted.  
"Cheers to that."

James and Vinnie were rolling through the cave, fighting like two alphas who were trying to claim territory.  
As they did almost every time they were in the same room.  
Simply because James loved to provoke and the young mouse always took the bait.  
Vinnie finally managed to get on top of James and howled triumphantly.  
"Vinnie the invincible, the baddest mamma jammer from this side of the asteroid belt, the Velocity Atrocity takes another victory!"  
"VINCENT!"

_Uh oh..._

The white furred mouse looked up and saw Stoker marching towards him.  
"Daddy calls", James chuckled as he used this moment to punch Vinnie at the right side of his jaw, making the young mouse land on the floor next to him.  
"Foul! I was distracted, no fair, man!", Vinnie protested as he climbed back on his feet, ready for another round, but Stoker stopped him by grabbing his arm.  
"_Enough_. Why is it that every goddamn party we have, meaning; the one night we don't have to fight, you end up_ fighting_?", the leader of the resistance asked annoyed while pushing the young and rebelling mouse back to his seat.  
"He started, I...", but Stoker smacked him against the back of his head.  
"That was a _rhetorical _question, punk. Add that one to your general knowledge. Now sit down and try to behave, for once in your goddamn life."  
Vinne pulled a face as he dropped back on his seat and when Stoker was standing with his back towards him, he stuck out his tongue.  
Then, he leaned back in his chair as he folded his arms.  
"I swear, if he hadn't shown up, I would've won...", he grumbled to one in specific.  
"No doubt about that", James chuckled while giving Vinnie a new drink as a peace offer.  
The white furred mouse glared at him but then accepted the drink.  
James elbowed him and they toasted.  
"See this as a lesson, boy. Never let your guard down, especially not to brag", he then said.  
Vinnie almost choked in his drink, but before he could react, James clapped him on the back and walked to another table, shaking his head in amusement.  
"When are you gonna give up on this whole idea that you need to win a fight from James?", Throttle asked as his deep green eyes glanced at his younger bro.  
Who, again, almost choked in his drink.  
"Give up? _GIVE UP_? This mouse never gives up!"  
"Maybe you should give it a try. As my old gray furred momma used to say; never back down from an opportunity to try something new", Modo added innocently.  
"Besides, the guy is like a tank. He's gonna break you in half one day."  
Vinnie was about to say something when his eyes caught a female mouse who entered the cave.  
His mouth fell open as a jolt of electricity went through his body.  
She was the most beautiful creature he'd ever seen.  
Her fur light brown, shining in the soft light.  
Her body was slender but muscular.  
And her eyes... When he saw her eyes, he felt his heart skip a few beats.  
Blue as the ocean.  
On Earth, that is, since Mars had no oceans...  
...general knowledge...  
Details.

_Jesus._

"Mars to Vinnie. Mars to Vinnie."  
Throttle's soft and husky voice broke him out of his trance.  
Well, sort of.  
Vinnie grabbed Throttle's arm in an iron grip, still staring at the female who was now sitting at a table close by the entrance.  
"Jesus, Throttle, who is she?", he demanded.  
Throttle and Modo followed his gaze.  
"Oh, that's the new mechanic slash nurse. Stoker found her a few days ago", the tan furred mouse explained when he recognized the girl.  
"Poor girl was wandering through the desert, all alone...", Modo added.  
Then, they both looked at Vinnie and Throttle narrowed his eyes.  
"You gotta stop drooling, Vin. Word on the street is that Stoker got a thing for her..."  
But Vinnie couldn't turn away his gaze, even if he wanted to.  
He was completely mesmerized.

Ever since that day the war took away his parents and sister, he was lost.  
Wandering alone in this strange world, completely clueless about who he was.  
He thought he knew.  
But from the moment he was forced to walk alone, he realized he knew nothing.  
The emotions, that whirled inside him like a storm, carefully locked behind a dam, because he had no idea how to handle them.  
He rather felt nothing.  
Searching for a way to survive in the shambles of war.  
But he found it now.  
He could tell that by only looking into her eyes, even if it was nothing more than a split second.  
Because in that short moment, he could feel.  
For the first time since a long time, he felt something again.

This whole war was crazy, beyond crazy.  
Everything was shattered into a thousand pieces.  
Nothing made any sense anymore.  
But she did.  
She was real.  
And he believed, he _truly_ believed, she was gonna save him.  
She was gonna give him back a world he once knew.  
But along with that realization, fear came.  
He was scared.  
Scared to approach her.  
Scared that this feeling, this dream, was gonna shatter.  
Just like everything else.

He never believed in it, before this.  
Ya know, love at first sight.  
It sounded like a fairytale.  
A thing he also didn't believe in.  
Not anymore.  
Not after his mom died in his arms, the brutally mutilated body of his father lying next to them.  
Not after losing everything that made sense.  
So, he remained on his seat and with reluctance, he turned his gaze the other way.  
A drink.  
He needed a drink.

At the end of the night, Vinnie had about three too many.  
Because of the war, these nights full with celebrations were rare and therefore his body wasn't used to the large quantities Duende he'd consumed.  
The juice of this plant was also rare, same as victories and since Vinnie wasn't one known for having much self-control, he was now hanging listlessly in a chair, fiddling with the wound on his leg.  
Thanks to the dulling effect of the Duende, the pain was gone and he was now able to touch it without jumping at the ceiling or throwing up.  
Or both...  
"That doesn't look good", a soft voice said close to his ear.  
He looked up, a little dazed.  
There she was.  
Up close even more beautiful.  
The girl he had seen earlier this evening.  
She was standing next to him, a friendly look on her face.  
Her eyes  
Like an angel…

He realized she was waiting for him to say something.  
"Ah, it's nothing, sweetheart. Part of being a badass soldier", he mumbled, his voice devoid of his usual vice.  
"Maybe. Is being stubborn and refusing medical treatment a part of that too?", she asked amusedly, already grabbing her bag.  
"I ain't stubborn, it's just… I… Well… You see… I…", Vinnie stuttered, suddenly completely loss at words.  
He felt like that sixteen-year-old teenager again, the one he was before the war took away pieces of his soul.  
And after living behind a mask for so long, he felt butt naked without it.  
The girl shook her head with a small smile on her face and kneeled down next to him.  
"Smooth talker you are."  
She grabbed some gauze pads and started to clean the wound.  
Vinnie breathed in sharply, all of a sudden capable of feeling pain again.  
"Autsj!"

One of the many downsides of Duende; it didn't work long.  
While cleaning, she glanced up at him from under her lashes.  
"Just be glad they didn't nick that pretty face of yours…"  
The pain forgotten, he stared into her eyes.  
By the love of Eguzkia, those eyes...  
"Pretty, 'ey?", he mumbled, a faint blush on his cheeks, then he chuckled a little uncomfortable. "Right."  
When he looked behind her, he saw Stoker leaning against the wall, his arms folded and an angry face.  
Apparently, Throttle was right. His coach did have a thing for this girl.

Usually, that would be another reason to chase her down, if only to win the competition.  
But this was different.  
Stoker was his mentor and leader, a father figure and friend, all at the same time.  
But this girl could be his savior.  
Was he really gonna let Stoker stand in the way of that?  
"Maybe you should go back to your boyfriend, he looks a little hot under the helmet", Vinnie blurted out.

_Smooth. Subtle._

The girl gave him a surprised look, but then followed his gaze.  
"Stoker ain't my boyfriend. This mouse got no strings attached and he knows that."  
"No strings attached, huh?"  
She looked up at him and Vinnie almost drowned in her eyes.  
They were the deepest blue, with small green spots in it.  
Clear and twinkling.  
And looking back at him.

_Jesus._

"Depends on who's asking…", she smiled seductively, before focusing on his wound again.  
Again, the white furred mouse was speechless and he could only stare at her while she was doing her job.  
When she was done, she leaned with one hand on his other leg to get upright, and before he knew it, her face was just inches away from his.  
"I'm Harley…"  
Her scent filled his nose and made him even more dazed.  
"I uh… I'm… They call me Vinnie…"  
"Very, _very_ nice to meet ya, Vinnie…"  
She spoke slowly, his name rolled smoothly over her tongue.  
Vinnie swallowed and pulled his bandana, but not able to break eye contact.  
"Likewise", he squeaked.  
Her lips curled into a smile, it was one of the brightest smiles he had ever seen.  
It made her ten times more beautiful than she already was.  
That that was even possible, was a mystery alright.  
But it just did.  
Harley got upright and grabbed her stuff. After winking at him, she walked away.  
Vinnie let out his breath as his body relaxed.  
He fanned fresh air to himself.  
"Phewie… Danger… falling mouse…"

_**…**_

Time passed.

Seconds became minutes.  
Minutes became hours.  
Hours became days.  
Days became weeks.  
Weeks became months.  
If Vinnie needed to describe what happened these months, he would call it a dance.  
Like a… mating dance.  
No, that might be interpreted as vulgar.  
Perhaps it was a dance of love.  
Passionately, like the tango.  
Pushing and pulling.  
But that there was _something _going on between them was very clear.  
And their first kiss was definitely no surprise.  
But that didn't make it less special.

_**...**_

Vinnie sighed satisfied while looking at the stars, his hands folded under his head.  
Harley was lying next to him, her hands on her stomach.  
Their shoulders touched, but that was all.  
"I love these quiet nights…", Harley said softly.  
"Ugh, I dunno… I don't like quiet. Quiet is boring. But gotta admit… sometimes quiet is good. It reminds me of Mars before the war…", Vinnie answered.  
There was no need to wear his mask when he was with her.  
He had learned that.  
He just could be himself.  
Nothing more, nothing less.  
And it was a breath of fresh air.  
"I miss it. Mars. How it used to be."  
"I miss it too. Most of the time, that is…"

Harley sat up and looked at him.  
"Most of the time? What are ya saying?"  
Vinnie shrugged.  
"If it wasn't for the war, I never would've met you... "  
The words already left his mouth before he could stop it.  
But why stop it?  
It was the truth, after all.

He glanced at her and their eyes locked.  
The night was dark, the stars were bright.  
They reflected into her blue eyes.  
It took his breath away.  
As if he was looking at his own private little universe.  
He got up slowly, without breaking eye contact.  
His hand reached out, it was shaking.  
His fingers brushed her cheek.  
"You're so beautiful…"  
She closed her eyes for a moment, enjoying his touch.

Then, she opened them again and they were burning.  
Burning from affection.  
The light of the stars gave her fur a golden glow.  
"You're like the sun…"  
"And you're the moon…", she whispered, referring to his snow white fur that was almost glowing in the dark.  
"Sharing the sky…"

Vinnie leaned forward, so did she.  
They both stopped right before their noses touched each other.

"If you're the sun, call me moon…"  
"And we brighten the sky…"  
"...with the flame…"  
"...of love…"  
"Made of sunlight…"  
"...together with moonlight…"

Their lips made contact, so did their souls.  
They connected, they blended together…  
...as one...

_**…**_

"Mirror mirror on the wall… Who's the sexiest mouse of them all?"  
Vinnie looked into the mouse shaped mirror on his bike, but seeing the bandage around the right side of his face, his _pretty_ face, made him furious all of a sudden.  
He lashed out and knocked the mirror right off.  
It shattered into a million pieces as it slammed against the wall.  
His left eye was burning with tears.  
The panic, that crawled into his body while being in that horrible lab, was still there.  
It transformed him into a restless nervous wreck.  
If he thought he'd lost himself that day he lost his parents, he couldn't have been more wrong.  
Because right now, he was even more lost.  
Strayed.  
Alone.

"Vinnie…"

Maybe not that alone...  
But even her voice couldn't calm his nerves.  
Nothing could, actually.  
Riding his bike as a mad man helped.  
Fighting the battles even more reckless helped.  
The adrenaline helped.  
But only because at these moments, he simply forgot about everything.  
It was nothing more but a flee.  
A possibility to put reality on hold.

"I know you don't wanna talk about it, and that's okay, it really is, cutie. But please… let me take care of you. Let me check your wounds, just this one time. If they get infected, things will only get worse... "

Vinnie stared angrily at his bike.  
Why didn't he just tell her?  
She was the one person, the _only_ person, where he could be who he was.  
The only one who gave him the feeling he wasn't completely lost in a strange and unknown world.  
He felt her hand on his arm.  
Her warmth, her love.  
He needed it, so badly.

"O-okay."

The word left his mouth before he could change his mind.  
She gently pulled off his helmet and he looked into her beautiful blue eyes.  
His own universe.  
His own sun.  
She gave him a soothing smile and his body relaxed a little.  
But when she started to unwrap the bandage, his heart started to beat faster.  
The pain in his face was nothing compared to the pain in his heart.  
He was broken.  
Officially broken.  
Not even Harley could save him now.  
He was broken beyond repair.

When she was done, she studied his face.  
He did the same by her, keeping a close eye on her reaction.  
But her face remained impassive.  
Her eyes weren't, though.  
They were suddenly fuming in anger.

"I need to see it."

Weird, but true.  
He needed to know what that fish had done to him.  
He needed to know what he looked like.  
Harley nodded and searched in her bag for a mirror.  
But when she found one, she hesitated.  
"You sure?"

"Yes."

Without saying another word, she gave him the small mirror.  
After taking a deep breath, he held it up.  
And his heart just stopped.

_Jesus._

The wounds started on his forehead.  
Red and irritated bare skin stitched together in one messy, crooked line which stopped right under his eye.  
He tilted his head and saw more stitches at the side of his nose.  
It was the most horrible, gruesome sight he'd ever seen.  
Mostly because it was his own face.  
He was mutilated.  
A freak.  
Life was never gonna be the same again…

"What did he do to you…?", Harley whispered with tears in her eyes.  
He looked at her, his insides screaming that he needed to hide in the shadows.  
Screaming that he couldn't let her see this, this face, this infection…  
Which poisons their love…

But instead, his eyes filled with tears as he gave her back the mirror with shaking hand.  
"He broke me. That's what he did…", he whispered back.  
Harley climbed on his bike in front of him and pulled him in her arms.  
"_To be sure you're not hurt again, I swear I'd give my life for you…_", she sang softly in his left ear.  
"_You will be who you want to be…Sun and moon, in one orbit… Forever..._"

"Forever…"

Slowly, the white furred mouse calmed down again, suddenly feeling that shame got added into the mix of emotions which were already there.  
"I've got something for you, cutie."  
Her voice brought him back to reality and he looked up.  
She was holding up a round metal plate, big as her hand.  
"Flex metal, for your average bike repairs and macho mouse makeovers…"  
When she held it against his face, the metal became almost fluid. It felt cold and soothing at the same time when it crawled over his wounded skin.  
He felt it close behind his ear and Harley gave him the mirror again.  
"See? No one's broken beyond repair. Not even you, cutie."  
Vinnie looked into the mirror, realizing she just had read his mind, and a smile curled his lips.  
"I would be nothing without ya, sweetheart. Thanks."  
And they held each other tightly, enjoying this moment together.

Love is healing.  
Love is the one thing that can fix even the ones who think they can't be.  
Harley was the one who was holding him together, literally and metaphorically.  
Sun and moon.  
Yin and yang.  
Harley and Vinnie.  
Diametrically opposed, but one couldn't walk without the other.

_Not all those who wander are lost._

_**…**_

Nobody knew about them.  
Well, maybe some of them knew that they were doing this so called dance around each other, but no one knew it was already so much more.  
They kept it a secret. To spare Stoker's feelings.  
To enjoy this whole new and yet familiar world with just the two of them.  
But it was after they'd destroyed the tug transformer when Harley couldn't hold herself back anymore.  
Because when Vinnie stopped his bike before her and pulled off his helmet, she jumped in his arms and gave him such a passionate kiss that even Vinnie's cheeks turned red.  
But before he could say something, Stoker popped up next to them.  
"Young love… the beginning of a new era, the foundation of the restoration of Mars."  
Vinnie's mouth fell open, Harley could only look at Vinnie with a dreamy expression on her face.  
"It's okay, punk. But lemme tell ya this; if you ever hurt her, one way or another, I'll tie your tail in a knot, ya hear me?", the brown furred mouse whispered in his ear and before Vinnie could react, he walked away loud laughing.  
"Guess that's Stoker's way of telling us he's okay with this", Harley giggled, wrapping her arms around his neck.  
"Guess so…"

It suddenly hit him like a sledgehammer.  
He felt happy.  
He felt_ actual_ happy.  
A thing he almost forgot about how it felt.  
But he now knew that he could survive everything, as long as he had this beautiful creature by his side.  
"I love you", he blurted out, but then his eyes grew big.  
"That was _not_ supposed to come out, goddammit…"  
But Harley laughed her husky laugh which he loved so much and pinched his cheek.  
"I love you too, crazy mouse."  
She kissed him again, even more heatedly.  
But it wasn't just lust.  
It was unconditional love.

Vinnie needed to break it off to avoid some awkward moments and playfully pushed her away.  
"Gosh, sweetheart, you sure know how to turn on a mouse…"  
"It's a gift."  
"Some gift... "  
"Hey, I never heard you complain before! All these nights together and you were all into it, mister."  
Vinnie smiled while shaking his head.  
"You're one of a kind, babe. And tonight… tonight, when we're alone, you can tell me all about that little gift of yours…", he added conniving.  
"Can't wait…"  
"Me neither…"

"Yo, Vinnie!"

James his voice broke their enchantment and the white furred mouse turned around.  
"What?"  
"You did good today, boy. Guess it's safe to say you're finally learning…", the black furred mouse chuckled while elbowing Vinnie.  
But then, his face grew serious.  
"But no kidding. You're a good Freedom Fighter."  
Vinnie was speechless for a moment.  
Hearing this form James meant the world to him.  
I mean, he kinda looked up at the guy, alright.  
But then, his trademark smile appeared on his face.  
"Pfuh, come on… You expected less? I already told ya I'm the best", he bragged.  
James narrowed his eyes amusedly, but then…

"Get your dirty hands off of me, you filthy rat!"

Harley's voice was sharp, so sharp that Vinnie immediately turned around, startled.  
What he saw, made his blood boil.  
Mace was holding Harley, a gun against her head.  
His filthy hairless tail around her waist.  
That fucking traitor...

"A little nightmare to remember me by, mice…"

Vinnie came into action without thinking and ran towards them as he reached for his gun.  
But it was as if his feet were stuck in quicksand. Mace was right, this was a nightmare.  
His gaze was fixed on Harley and she looked back.  
The fear that was written on her face was unbearable for him to see.  
She was scared.  
That son of a fucking bitch had the nerve to touch his girl, to make her scared…  
Time stopped ticking.  
Vinnie lunged forward, a bright light, blue eyes burning in terror…

**BAM.**

The white furred mouse landed hard on the ground, right at the spot where Harley and Mace were standing just seconds ago.  
No.  
No, no, no.  
This couldn't be happening.  
He pushed himself up as he looked wildly around him.  
But she was gone.  
She was really gone.  
"Harley…"  
His voice sounded as from a stranger.  
It was nothing more than a whisper.  
"Harley!"

The panic came back.  
Before he met Jester, he had no idea what panic was.  
A weakness, nothing more, nothing less.  
He now knew.  
And Harley helped him to keep it on a distance.  
But now she was gone and he…  
It consumed him.

He fell on his knees as he clenched his fists.  
Somehow he just knew that he'd lost her forever just now.  
It was based on nothing, nothing more but a hunch.  
"No…"

He was alone again.  
But he wasn't ready.  
He needed her.  
She was keeping him together.  
Without her, he fell apart.  
Without her, he walked his lonely road again, in this fucked up world.  
Without her, he was _nothing_.

The pain was unbearable and he bend over, his eyes shut tightly as a scream left his mouth.  
A scream in pain.  
His right fist hit the ground.  
And again.  
And again.

The pain in his hand was nothing.  
It paled by the pain in his heart.  
The connection was gone.  
Brutally broken.  
His soul left behind alone, as an exposed nerve.  
Tears streamed down his face as he hit the floor again, and again…

_**…**_

Months passed.

Vinnie did everything within his power to find Harley.  
But she was just… gone.  
Vanished into thin air.  
One night, he was sitting on his bike, looking at the stars.

The night they'd shared their first kiss was constantly playing over and over in his head.  
He was heartbroken because of her loss.  
He felt small, without having her by his side.  
Her voice was stuck in his head, didn't leave him alone for a second.  
Everything around him, inside of him, was a constant reminder of her.  
A constant reminder of her loss.  
Of the void she'd left behind.  
When he saw people laugh, or dance, or kiss or having fun…  
He just couldn't get it.  
Not anymore.  
All he felt was the pain.  
And along with the pain came the insecurity of not knowing where she was.  
Not knowing if she was still alive… or dead.  
He wanted to beg, beg on his bare knees if he knew there was any chance that it could make a difference.  
But days became weeks.  
And weeks became months.  
And she was still gone.

He couldn't win this fight.  
She was too important.  
He was too alone without her.  
Too fragile.  
Too vulnerable.

God, why her?  
Why did he take her?  
Why couldn't he let her stay?  
Why, for fuck sake, why?

He could still see her smile.  
Her bright smile.  
He could still taste her lips on his.  
Her sweet lips.  
He could still feel her hand in his.  
Her warm hand.

Counting the long and empty days, he tried to move on.  
But living without her made him starting to lose hope.  
He had no idea how to move on without her.  
The pain was threatening to overwhelm him.  
In the darkest moments of the hour, all he could think was that he didn't want this.  
He couldn't.  
He was done…

"Vincent…"

Throttle's calm voice.  
A warm hand on his shoulder.

"You're not alone…"

Then why did he feel so lonely?

"You're not alone…", Throttle repeated softly.

Vinnie's panic immersed in the calmness of the tan furred mouse.  
It covered his soul, this exposed nerve, with a small layer, making the pain a little less heavy.  
And it was then the tan furred leader connected with the white furred rebellion.  
To guide him back to the light, even if that would take a lifetime.  
To be more than just a mentor with his apprentice.  
To be whatever the young mouse wanted him to be.  
Because they were family.  
Forever.

_Present…._

Vinnie felt an upcoming headache as he was breathing heavily, completely paralyzed by the flashbacks.  
He'd never really thought back to that moment, that horrible moment he lost Harley.  
His mind had blocked it.  
That whole period seemed to be a little blurry.  
Well, he thought it was his mind.  
But he now knew it was Throttle's work.  
He now understood why he was always feeling so… dependent on the tan furred mouse.  
They connected, that night when everything became too much to bear.  
Throttle took Harley's place as a pillar.  
Vinnie owned him his life, he now knew.  
Because if Throttle hadn't acted, he probably would've killed himself.  
To flee from his pain.  
The pain from being caught between grief and hope.  
The pain from trying to find Harley as much as his own way.  
A way to take a place in this strange and cold world.  
But Throttle had taken him by the hand.  
And Vinnie would be forever grateful.  
Because if he hadn't, he never would've met Kiwi.

He wanted back a world he knew.  
And with her, the story of his life began again.  
She was his pillar now.  
No matter how painful.  
But letting her go would be even more painful.  
Everything was different now.  
He wasn't the same guy anymore.  
Losing Harley, the whole thing with Jester, the war, losing his parents, his sister (twice)…  
It shaped him into the person he was nowadays.  
Maybe not the easiest and outgoing person as he wanted to be, but come on.  
He'd experienced too many losses.  
And the thought alone of losing Kiwi…  
The pain that followed was too familiar.  
No.  
Not again.  
No more.

"Harley, I'm sorry… I really am. I did everything within my power to find you. Losing you was devastating, even beyond that. It almost crushed me. But my bro's… they helped me to move on. What choice did I have? I promised myself that my heart would belong to you forever, and to no one else. I promised myself that I would never, ever lower my walls again. But then I met Kiwi and… it just happened. My heart opened up. We connected…"  
"She replaced me…"  
God, the pain in her voice…  
"No. No one can replace you. No one ever will."

A silence.

Harley looked at him, her blue eyes filled with sadness and despair.  
She slowly walked towards him and stopped right in front of him.  
"Please… Please, hold me one more time. One more kiss… before we say goodbye…"  
Teardrops spilled onto her cheeks.  
Vinnie raised both hands and laid them against her cheeks. With his thumbs, he gently wiped away her tears.

"Harley, my sweet Harley… . You have no idea how sorry I am. But my heart belongs to Kiwi now. I'll be forever regrettable about the way we were ripped apart. And trust me when I say that if that wouldn't have happened, things would be different now. But the sad truth is... it _did _happen and we have to live with the consequences of a choice not made by us… It's not fair, I know… But know this; I still love you, you still have a special place in my heart, always will have... "  
"But you love Kiwi more…"  
"I love Kiwi _differently_. I hope, I _really_ hope, that one day you'll be able to accept that. That you are able to move on with your life. No one deserves it more than you… And as far as I'm concerned, this ain't no final goodbye. But I'll leave it up to you. Take the time you need."

He leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on her forehead.  
Then, he let her go and left the balcony, leaving a heartbroken Harley behind.  
But at least she knows now.  
So did he.  
He was gonna spend the rest of his, hopefully long, life with Kiwi and that's final.  
And with that, he closed the book called 'Sun and moon.'  
He would cherish it forever.  
But _only_ cherish it.  
Nothing more.

'_A song  
__played on a solo saxophone  
__a crazy sound  
__a lonely sound  
__a cry that tells us love goes on and on  
__played on a solo saxophone  
__Its telling me to hold you tight  
__and dance like it's the last night of the world__...'_

* * *

So that's their story.  
I know, super mushy, but I wanted to picture Vinnie differently at this age.  
More open about himself, a little bit more rebellious...  
I dunno, a '_he still has so much more to learn_' thingy.

Even if his heart belongs to Kiwi now, Harley will always be special to Vinnie.  
But he has made his choice.  
The question is what it will do to Harley.

Also used this moment to explain a little about the close bond he and Throttle have.

Anyway, hope it all makes sense to you, if you have questions or whatever, just lemme know, okay?

Thanks again for supporting me.  
Till next update.

Ciao!


	12. Chapter 12

Hey you guys…

It's been a while.  
Thank you so much for the reviews.  
I'm more than eternally grateful.  
_***bows***_

Soooo, next chapter.  
Took me some time, that's because I'm trying to improve my English.  
It's slowing me down, but I think that in the end, we all can benefit.

Enjoy! ^^

* * *

**Chapter 12**

"It looks like we're closer than ever to win this war, rookies", Stoker said as he took a bite from his food.  
After he swallowed, he continued.  
"Limburger is dead, the Plutarkian army at the old base is seriously depleted, and with the Outsiders standing by our side… Well, I very much like our chances."  
"But what about the other rats? The ones who have chosen to turn their back on Mars?", Modo asked with a frown on his face.  
"No worries, big fella. From the moment they realize that the Plutarkians are on the losing side, they will be no longer a treat. Even if I despise defectors, there's one good thing about them and that's that their behavior is predictable", Stoker answered sharply.  
Modo wasn't convinced. Neither was Throttle.  
"I dunno, Stoke. I think there still much left to deal with when the Plutarkians are gone."  
"I think so too", Carbine agreed.  
Stoker snorted annoyed.  
"Trust me when I say this; once the Plutarkians are gone, the peace will be restored. It has to be. It will be the first good thing that happens in years on this goddamn planet. And I don't know about you guys, but I can use some good things in my life right now."  
His voice was sharp as a knife.

Modo, Throttle and Carbine shared a worried look.  
It was obvious that Stoker was about to reach his limit. And Throttle knew why. It all had something to do with Harley.  
"Stoke, I know you're hurt and you have every right to be, but right now, it's clouding your vision…", Throttle said cautiously. "It's too easy to think that…", but he didn't come further.  
Stoker jumped, his eyes spitting fire.  
"Can't a mouse have little hope around here?! It's all I have right now, goddammit!"  
And with that, he marched out of the Main Hall, pushing everybody away who happened to be in his path.  
"Oh momma…", Modo sighed as he covered his eye with his flesh hand.  
"Guess losing Harley again was the final straw…", Carbine said softly.  
"Guess so…", Throttle nodded with a sad look on his face.

It was at this moment that Kiwi suddenly showed up at their table.  
"What is up with Stoker? I just came across him in the hallway with a face like thunder…"  
"Harley", Modo and Carbine said in unison.  
"_Ah_", Kiwi breathed, immediately understanding the gravity of the situation. "Her being back unleashes much, right?"  
Not really expecting a answer, she looked at Throttle.  
"Can I talk to you for a sec?"  
The tan furred mouse studied her face and noticed something was up. She looked kinda nervous, actually.  
"Sure thing, babe."

They sat down at a table in a corner of the Main Hall, a place that reassured them from privacy.  
A thing Kiwi, by the looks of things, desperately needed. She was fiddling with her fingers and avoided his gaze.  
"Where's Vinnie? Haven't seen him all morning", Throttle asked casually to open the conversation.  
"He's setting things straight with Harley", Kiwi answered absent-mindedly.  
"Ah. Good."  
A silence.  
Time to cut to the chase.  
"Kiwi, what's up?"  
The human girl cleared her throat.  
"Well, uhm… You see… I uh… I wanted to ask ya…I uh...", she stuttered.  
Throttle leaned forward and reached out over the table. When he took her hand, she finally looked him in the eye.  
"There's no need to be nervous, Kiwi. You know you can talk to me about anything. Now, take a deep breath and start over."  
Kiwi gave him a small and nervous smile, but when she breathed a couple of times, she relaxed a little.  
Enough to continue, that is.  
"Look, I don't know anything about Martian weddings, but I _do_ know a little bit about Earthy weddings. And the thing is… Well, when we marry on Earth, it's customary that the father gives away his daughter to the uhm… groom. Ya know, like a _'She's yours to take care of now, but don't fuck it up because I know where you live'_ thingy. And uhm… well, ya know, with my dad being gone…", but she trailed off.  
Her voice got stuck in her throat and much to her annoyance, she felt tears burning behind her eyes.

Weddings meant happiness.  
And when Vinnie asked her, she was over the moon.  
Well, she was until she realized that her parents couldn't be there when the time came.  
Even worse, she had no father who could guide her to the altar.  
This was one of these moments that reality slapped her in the face.  
Her parents were gone.  
Dead.  
And they were never coming back.  
She was an orphan.  
Forever.  
And the grief, the pain of their loss, was suddenly too much to bear.

A soft squeeze in her hand brought her back to reality.  
She looked at Throttle, at his wise and calm face.  
The kindness that he radiated felt like an embracement and gave her the courage that she needed.  
The courage to be vulnerable.  
"Will you give me away?"  
Throttle rose on his feet and walked around the table without letting go off her hand.  
When he was standing next to her, he pulled her in his arms and she buried her nose in his fur.  
"It will be an honor."  
Kiwi smiled against his fur and held him tightly.  
And suddenly, the tears came.

And she cried.  
Cried over the loss of her parents.  
Over leaving Earth behind.  
Over everything that happened to Vinnie.  
To Throttle.  
To Modo.  
The loss of her baby.  
The loss of the chance to become a mother.  
She cried over everything.

Throttle just held her as he stroked her back.  
He let her cry, knowing she needed to let it all out.  
Knowing that she was trying _so_ hard to just keep moving as if nothing could get to her.  
But sometimes, a person needed to fall.  
To fall and use that moment on the floor to weep for it.  
To feel the pain of the fall.  
To feel the sadness that it happened in the first place.  
To be kind, compassionate, to yourself.  
To not to judge yourself.  
To take the time needed to heal.  
And then, _only_ then, a person could rise again.  
Rise and move on.  
Forgiven, but not forgotten.

_**...**_

Vinnie wandered through the hallways, deep in thoughts about the conversation he had with Harley just now.  
But he couldn't help himself notice that he felt this great weight lifted.  
And he knew he'd made the right choice.  
A tough one, sure…  
But the right one.  
Still cogitating, he walked into the Main Hall. But when his gaze landed on Kiwi in Throttle's arms his head became clear.  
His girl was crying.  
And he suddenly felt her pain.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?", he asked worriedly when he reached the two most important persons in his life.  
Kiwi said nothing, she didn't even look at him as she threw herself into his arms.  
Vinnie gave Throttle a confused look as he wrapped his arms around her quivering body and his tail around her right ankle.  
The tan furred mouse only gave him an encouraging smile and walked away to give them some privacy.  
Vinnie rested his chin on Kiwi's head.  
It was clear to him that she didn't wanna talk about it right now.  
So, the only thing he could do was to try to calm her down.  
He closed his eyes.  
Focussing on the unconditional love he felt for this girl, he lowered his walls.  
His mental walls.  
A thing he only did once before in his life, that night when he kissed Harley for the first time.

The talk with Harley had made him realize that he was still holding himself back when he was with Kiwi.  
There was still that small and dark place in his mind that he kept to himself and him alone.  
Because he was scared that after giving his heart and soul, he would be left behind.  
Abandoned.

_Alone_.

But with that realization came another one.  
And that was that if he didn't give himself completely, he would be alone for the rest of his life.  
Sometimes, you just gotta take chances.  
Risks.  
Luckily for him, and Kiwi, Vinnie wasn't afraid of taking risks.  
So he did.

Kiwi suddenly calmed down and looked up at him with watery eyes.  
"What are you doing?"  
Vinnie smiled and planted a kiss on her forehead.  
"I've learned something today. And that is that I, Vinnie van Wham, am irrevocably in love with ya… And that we're a match made in heaven. And I give myself to you… all the way. Consider this as uhm… us getting our marriage license? Ain't that how you Earthlings do things?"  
Kiwi's mouth fell open, but her eyes were twinkling in amusement and adoration.  
"Who are you and what did you do to Vinnie?"  
The white furred mouse narrowed his eyes and stuck out his tongue.  
"Hardee har har. Very funny."  
Kiwi grabbed him by the chin, pulled him down and kissed him with all the love she had in her.  
When she broke it off, she was already crying again.  
But it wasn't only because of sadness.  
Because no matter how fucked up everything could be, no matter how many times the world stopped spinning, she had Vinnie.  
And therefore she was strong enough to bounce back.  
Over and over again.  
"Thanks. For everything. For being mine…", she whispered.  
One corner of Vinnie's mouth curled into that arrogant, almost lazy smile which she loved so much.  
"I'll always be yours. And now enough with the mushy talk, alright. I'm so hungry I could eat a whole saber squad."  
Kiwi laughed while shaking her head.  
Yep.  
That's her Vinnie.

They joined the rest of the group and they spend the rest of the day with each other.  
A group of friends sharing a bond that went deeper than being related by blood.  
And for one day, just this one day, everything felt normal.  
Except for two mice with hearts shattered into pieces.  
For them, everything was by no means normal.  
For them, their whole world was turned upside down.  
And they suffered alone, in silence.  
Completely unaware of each others pain, they suffered.  
And only time could heal these wounds.  
But did they had the strength to give it the time needed?  
Or would they both break before the wounds were healed?  
A difficult question, one they both couldn't answer.  
Only time will tell.

_**Time.  
**__A powerful healer.  
__But sluggish too.  
__And that could be dangerous.  
__A death trap._

_**...**_

Kiwi looked into the mirror. A nervous face with eyes wide open stared back.  
Her heart was racing in her chest and her breathing shallow.  
God, she hadn't been this nervous since the day her father caught her smoking.  
"I think I'm gonna be sick…", she panted, wiping off her forehead.  
Amira popped up behind her and laid her hands on the shoulders of the nervous human girl.  
"No, you won't. From what I've heard, every bride feels like this on her wedding day. Definitely explainable nerves. Just… breathe."  
Kiwi looked over her shoulder to the honey colored female mouse.  
"Breathe? That's your advice?"  
"Well, yeah. It's the only thing you can do. I mean, look at you. You look amazing, so that ain't the stumbling block here. He's gonna be blown away, trust me."  
"That's not why I'm nervous", Kiwi mumbled, looking into the mirror again.

But no matter how hard to admit, Amira was right. She did look pretty amazing.  
Thanks to her new and close friend.  
Her wild and usually untamed hair now all done up, a few locks curling around her face.  
No makeup, since Martian Mice didn't use that, but Kiwi liked the natural look. Made her look young and innocent.  
Amira even managed to find her a dress.  
It wasn't white, but Kiwi didn't care. She liked the soft blue of the fabric, it matched her eyes perfectly.  
And to cap it all, Amira had loaned her the necklace that used to be her mothers.  
It had these red ruby's that reminded Kiwi of Vinnie's eyes.  
So yeah, she looked great.  
Then what the hell was she being so nervous about?  
It wasn't that she was having second thoughts or whatever.  
This is what she wanted.  
Why so nervous?

_Ah_.

It suddenly dawned on her and she smiled.  
Poor Vinnie.  
This was way out of his comfort zone.  
He was doing this for her, after all.  
And he'd kept his promise.  
They were getting married.  
They were getting married, _today.  
_A week after they'd found Harley.

That was what it took her.  
A week.  
A week to plan this wedding, just the way she wanted.  
Vinnie had given her a free pass to plan this day completely to her wishes.  
It was her day.  
So, she'd asked Throttle to guide her to the altar.  
She'd asked Amira to help her with her appearance.  
She'd talked to Stoker about the ceremony, questioned the hell outta him about Martian weddings.  
Turned out that Martian weddings were nothing more but exchanging a vow.  
Kiwi still wasn't sure if Stoker was telling the truth or that he chose the easy way out because the last thing he wanted to talk about at this point were weddings.

It was clear that the brown furred mouse was devastated because of Harley.0  
She was clearly his last hope, his biggest motivator to keep going.  
Kiwi suspected that deep down, he'd never lost hope of finding her again. To have a second chance.  
Unfortunately, it was more like a deja vu than a second chance.  
It made the older mouse moody, sullen and rude.  
But he'd promised her that he would unite her and Vinnie in the bound of holy matrimony.  
Kiwi was grateful for that.  
Because he was the right one for the job, and no one else.

She'd had invited everybody who lived on the base, to bond a little.  
Even if she was now a respected member of the Freedom Fighters, there was still some friction.  
She'd given Modo, Amira, Throttle, Carbine, Jax, Neo, Flash, Harley and Shaylon a front row seat.  
And after the official part, there would be a 'party'.  
Kiwi had no idea how Martian Mice partied, but Amira had told her about Duende.  
It was the juice from a plant, very rare, but mostly used on special occasions like this one.  
From what Kiwi understood, this Duende had a similar effect as alcohol, but ten times worse.  
But it was customary to drink this on parties.

_On Mars._

And luckily for the ones who liked to drink it (read: Vinnie), Amira had managed to grow a few Duende plants.  
There would be no ring. Next to the fact it wasn't a Martian tradition but an Earthy one, rings were nowhere to be found on this planet.  
The switched earrings were enough.  
So, it was a mix between a Martian and Earthy wedding.  
Plain and simple.  
But very meaningful at the same time.  
Unlike on Earth, a marriage on Mars was a lifelong connection.  
Only able to break with a joint death.  
That sounded overly dramatic, but it was nothing more but a fact.  
And no way it was gonna stop Kiwi.  
She knew she wanted to spend the rest of her life with that macho mouse.  
And only death was gonna be able to stop her.

"You're ready, Kiwi?"  
Throttle's calm voice broke her out of her thoughts and she looked over her shoulder.  
The tan furred mouse was standing in the doorway and when Kiwi saw what he was wearing, her lower jaw dropped.  
It was a uniform.  
Well, sort of.  
He was wearing his biker jeans she'd bought for them on Earth, a thing that felt like a lifetime ago, and the soft yellow T-shirt she had seen before.  
It was the green jacket that was new to her. It looked a lot like the uniforms she had seen on TV, when the US Army had an official meeting, ya know, like a funeral or wedding.  
Complete with the pinned medals and rank on the shoulder pads.  
"Wow, you look… amazing!", Kiwi managed to bring out. "But I thought you guys ain't army?"  
Throttle chuckled a little embarrassed while adjusting the jacket, a faint blush visible under his fur.  
"We ain't no army, but we're more than just rebels. We _do _have a code of honor. And that means Stoker wants us to wear this monkey suit to official meetings…"  
Kiwi's lips curled into a smile.  
"Oh, what am I doing to that poor mouse. We all know how much he hates suits", she giggled, realizing that if Throttle was wearing this, Vinnie was forced to wear it too.

_Hehe.  
_She was starting to understand why he wasn't the marriage type of guy.

**_…_**

Vinnie was staring into the mirror, a frown between his eyes.  
How was it possible that someone like him, who always looked good, felt so uncomfortable in a suit?  
I mean, look at him.  
There wasn't anything he couldn't wear.  
He was always sexy and incredibly handsome, no matter what.  
But wearing a uniform made him feel insecure.  
He wasn't sure why.  
Maybe it had something to do with the occasion.  
He hated funerals, for obvious reasons.  
He didn't like weddings, for many less obvious reasons.  
Those were the only two meetings Stoker forced them to wear the official Freedom Fighter uniform.

_Forced._

He also didn't like it when someone was telling him what to do.  
Especially when it came to his clothing and stuff.  
And yet, here he was…

_Ugh._

Gosh, he was nervous.  
Actual nervous.  
More than nervous.  
Why, for fuck sake why did he ask her to marry him?  
Okay, okay, he knew why.  
But that all seemed so far away all of a sudden.  
He wasn't regretting his decision to make her his.  
She was everything to him.  
But the whole fuss around it, that was the problem.  
Big time.

"It's time, Vin."  
Modo popped up next to him and laid his metal hand on the white furred mouse his shoulder, an attempt to calm down the walking bundle of nerves.  
Vinnie gave himself one last look in the mirror and his lips curled into an arrogant smile.  
Yeah.  
He looked good.  
Let's do this.  
And after taking a deep breath, he turned his back to the mirror and followed Modo into the Main Hall.

_**...**_

Kiwi clung to Throttle's arm as if it was a life preserver that stopped her from drowning.  
It was a beautiful thing, this connection.  
But highly inconvenient in times like these.  
She had the feeling that Vinnie was more than capable of shutting her out when her emotions became too much for him.  
She wished she could say the same.  
Maybe it was time for her to learn to shut him out too.  
Because his nerves next to hers were almost too much to bear.

"Try to breathe, Kiwi", Throttle whispered as he guided her towards the Main Hall.  
"I'm trying, but this dress… You try breathing in this corset", she hissed back.  
"Thanks, but no thanks. I don't think it's my style", he answered drily.  
Kiwi burst into laughter, her body yearning for a way to release some of the stress and grabbing this opportunity with both hands.  
Throttle smiled too and before she knew it, they were standing at the back entrance of the Main Hall.

Kiwi's smile vanished like a puff of smoke when she saw how many people there were.  
By the looks of things, everybody had accepted the invitation, a thing she hadn't expected.  
Even Lola was there, she saw when her gaze wandered over the audience.  
"My god, please remind me why I wanted this?", she whispered and Throttle pulled her a little closer.  
"You know why. There's no need to be this nervous, Kiwi. Marriage is a beautiful thing, especially in desperate times like these", he whispered in her ear.  
Kiwi swallowed, still looking around the Main Hall, and her gaze landed on Vinnie.  
He was standing next to Stoker, his hands in his pockets and clearly nervous as hell.  
But he'd never looked this sexy.  
Gosh, she liked guys in uniform.  
He was wearing the same outfit as Throttle, but with his black biker jeans and his white fur shined like never before.  
His tail and ears were twitching, a sign Kiwi recognized as a token of nervosity and discomfort.  
Oh, her poor macho mouse.  
But how glad she was to see him.

_**...**_

Vinnie was fighting the urge to run away to never return until he saw Kiwi standing at the beginning of the aisle.  
His heart skipped a few beats as his eyes grew big.  
She looked beautiful.  
More than beautiful, actually.  
She was perfect.  
The soft blue dress accentuated her curves and matched her blue eyes perfectly.  
Blue eyes who were looking back at him with a whirlwind of emotions.  
She was just as nervous as he was.  
And that was just the thing he needed.  
Because he was _always_ looking out for her, he forced himself to suppress his own emotions.  
To help her calm down.  
A thing he was only capable of when it was for her.

He took a deep breath, so did she.  
His heartbeat slowed down, so did hers.  
And he gave her his most charming smile, knowing that that always did the trick.  
Today was no different.  
She smiled back, suddenly looking so happy and elated, he could cry.  
Weird, but true.  
And he now remembered why he'd asked her.  
Because he was willing to do everything to express his love for her.  
Because she was his.  
Forever.

_**...**_

Soft music started, a thing Kiwi could thank Jax for.  
He'd managed to find some audio files from Earth and now the violin filled the Main Hall with its characteristic and charismatic tones.  
Throttle looked down on her, a smile on his face.  
She smiled back and they both set their first step in the direction of the altar.  
More than a thousand emotions were racing through her mind and body as she walked down the aisle.  
But Vinnie's calmness kept them on a distance. And for the first time today, she felt a spark of excitement.  
She was getting married.  
To the most awesome, sweet and sexy creature in this universe.  
It was a miracle.  
Them meeting each other.  
They both came for another planet, they were an entirely different species.  
So it was even a greater miracle that he saw something in her.  
And now, they were gonna bond forever.

Before she knew it, they were already standing in front of the altar.  
Kiwi looked into his ruby red eyes, almost drowned in them.  
He looked back into her blue eyes and one corner of his mouth curled into the crooked little smile she loved so much.  
Throttle pressed a kiss on her temple and Vinnie reached out.  
The tan furred mouse laid her hand in his younger bro's hand and Kiwi could breathe again.  
She was home.

Throttle patted Vinnie on the back and sat down next to Carbine on the front row.  
They were all here.  
Even Harley, Kiwi saw now.  
The female mouse looked more broken than ever, holding her little son's hand tightly.  
Modo was sitting next to Shaylon and the little boy looked up at him from time to time.  
Kiwi smiled.  
Modo always did have a way with kids. And this week he and Shaylon already became good friends.  
It was cute and heartbreaking at the same time.  
It was clear that the little boy was yearning for a father.  
And he found one in Modo.

Stoker cleared his throat.  
"Dearly beloved, we're gathered here in the presence of Eguzkia and in the face of this company to join together Vincent van Wham and Kiwi Lavendor in holy matrimony. The bond between these two proves that it doesn't matter how you look like, from whatever species you are… love will always find its way. Always and forever. Now, before they'll read their wedding vows to make this official, I need to ask this: If there is anyone here that would oppose this holy union, speak now or forever hold your peace."  
Kiwi shot a look in Harley's direction, somehow scared that the light brown furred mouse was gonna say something.  
But Harley just stared at her feet.  
Vinnie gently grabbed her chin and forced her to look at him.  
"It's okay, sweetheart. Let it go for now. Today, it's just you and me, okay?", he whispered.  
Kiwi nodded, knowing he was right.  
She was always worried about everything and everybody, always wanting to make them happy, but not today.  
Certainly not today.  
"Very well", Stoker continued solemnly. "Then the time has come to read the vows."

This was why Kiwi was nervous.  
Writing her vow was the weirdest experience ever.  
She had no idea what to write when all of a sudden the words just came.  
When she told Throttle, he'd explained to her that because of the connection, her subconscious told her both what to write.  
So did Vinnie's.  
Kiwi had given him a confused look, but he'd only smiled.

"_It will make sense when the time is there, trust me."_

Vinnie took a deep breath and gently took both of her hands.  
His tail twitched and Kiwi just knew that he was nervous about this too.  
That it probably was because of this part of the ceremony that he hated weddings so much.  
Because reading your vow meant you needed to open yourself up, to be vulnerable for a moment.  
That had been always hard for the white furred mouse.  
And the fact that the whole base was there to witness it didn't help much either.  
Kiwi squeezed his hands and gave him a reassuring smile.  
To tell him he needed to forget everybody around them, just for now.  
For now, it was just him and her.  
Her and him.

The panic in his eyes faded and after taking another deep breath, he opened his mouth..  
"_My sweetest Kiwi…  
__Let me be your freedom...  
__Let daylight dry your tears.  
__I'm here, with you beside you...  
__To guard you and to guide you."_

Kiwi's eyes filled with tears when she took over.  
"_My dearest Vincent…  
__Say you love me every waking moment...  
__Say you need me with you now and always...  
__Promise me that all you say is true...  
__That's all I ask of you."_

Vinnie tucked a strand of hair behind her ear at her as he continued.  
"_Let me be your shelter...  
__Let me be your light.  
__You're safe, no one will find you...  
__Your fears are far behind you."_

Kiwi now understood.  
Their vows fit together like a puzzle and blend seamlessly.  
This whole connection thing really was amazing.  
She smiled at him as she opened her mouth again.  
"_All I want is freedom...  
__A world with no more night.  
__And you, always beside me...  
__To hold me and to hide me."_

Vinnie lay a hand against her cheek, a shy smile on his face.  
"_Then say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime...  
__Say you want me with you here, beside you...  
__Anywhere you go, let me go too.  
__That's all I ask of you.."_

Kiwi laid her hand over his.  
"_Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime...  
__Say the word and I will follow you."_

Vinnie wrapped his tail around her right ankle.  
"_Share each day with me, each night, each morning.."_

Kiwi leaned forward and stopped when her nose almost touched his.  
His eyes were a whirlwind of emotions.  
She felt his love and jesus, it felt so good.  
Love never felt so good.  
"_Say you love me…", _she whispered.

Vinnie cupped his hands around her head and leaned with his forehead against hers.  
"_You know I do…"_

"_Love me… that's all I ask of you"_, they finished in unison.

This was probably the moment that Stoker was gonna tell them they now may kiss each other, but they didn't need the oldtimer for that.  
Vinnie weaved his fingers into her hair and pressed his lips on hers.  
She kissed him back eagerly.  
Long and passionate.  
And for a moment, it really was only him and her.  
Her and him.  
Everything around them was gone.  
It was just them.  
Together.  
Forever…

"Ahum."

The sound of Stoker clearing his throat brought them back to reality and Kiwi broke off the kiss with a grin so wide.  
Vinnie was smiling too and after giving her one last kiss, they both turned towards the crowd, their fingers entwined.  
"May I present to you all; Vincent and Kiwi van Wham."  
The last word had just left his mouth when a tremendous round of applause filled the Main Hall and everybody got up from their seats.  
Vinnie and Kiwi were just standing there, feeling a little uncomfortable.  
The human girl looked at Throttle, and his smile was bigger than the ones she had seen before.  
Then her gaze landed on Modo, who was getting a little misty, she could tell.  
It touched her.  
Vinnie saw it too and it was then that the white furred mouse decided it was enough.  
Enough with the mushy stuff.  
He'd done his part.  
Just like he promised.  
But enough was enough, alright.  
He whistled between his teeth and pumped his fist in the air.  
"Yo! Who's ready to party?!"  
And the crowd went wild.

Kiwi shook her head with a smile as Vinnie dragged her with him, straight into the crowd to collect their congratulations  
Yep.  
That was her Vinnie.  
Hers forever.  
She kinda liked the sound of that.  
_Forever…_

_**...**_

Harley was sitting outside on one of the benches in the courtyard. After the ceremony was done, she'd asked Modo to watch Shaylon and rushed outside the moment the grey furred giant had said yes.  
Her breathing came out in rapid breaths, she was trying to calm herself down, but that was hard.  
Jesus, to witness the love of her life marrying some other girl was excruciating.  
The pain was too much to bear.  
And from the moment she was alone, she'd started crying to never stop again.  
That's how it felt, that is.  
She had no idea how to handle this.  
She was completely lost.

The only reason she'd attended the ceremony was her wanting Vinnie to be happy.  
Maybe it also had to do something with pride.  
To show the world that nothing could get to her.  
That nothing could force her to bend the knee.  
Who was she kidding anyway?  
She was broken.  
And even if she'd told Vinnie that day when she gave him the mask that no one was broken beyond repairs, she knew she was unfixable.

"Harley…"  
She looked up and saw Stoker taking place next to her.  
The pain in his eyes said it all.  
"Stoker", she sobbed, attempting to smile between her tears. "I'm no fun to be around right now…"  
The brown furred mouse shrugged.  
"Me neither, so guess that's settled then."  
Harley let out her breath, knowing she needed to be honest to him.  
She wasn't stupid. She knew what the older mouse felt for her.  
"Stoker, I… I'm sorry, but I can't give you what you want. I love you, but just not like that…"  
"I know. I'm just here because knowing you're suffering alone is unbearable for me. I'm only here to keep ya company. To tell ya you ain't alone."  
"That's unusual sweet of you…"  
"I loved you from the moment I laid my eyes on ya, that day I found you in the desert. And even if ya can't give it back, that doesn't mean I've stopped caring. I will always take care of ya. I will always be there for ya. As a friend. Nothing more."

Harley laid her hand on his for a moment.  
"Thanks… Really, it means a lot…"  
Stoker looked at their hands for a moment.  
"If only we'd met in another life…", he mumbled sadly.  
"But we didn't… There must be a reason we've met in this life. There must be a reason it was you of all mice who found me that day. There must be a reason I came back. I just don't know what it is yet."  
"Well, whatever the reason is, I'm here for ya. Always."  
"So am I…"

She pulled back her hand and looked up at the sky.  
"My god, am I ever gonna be the same again? After everything that happened?"  
Stoker folded his hands behind his head as he crossed his legs by the ankle.  
"I don't know. I don't think so, actually. Your experiences have shaped you into the person you are today. Guess the only thing that's left to do, is you accepting this new you…"  
"But what if I don't like this new me?"  
"Then you kick her ass. You and you alone are the puppet master. You're the one who's in control over your own life. No one else is."

Harley let his words sink in.  
Of course, he was right.  
But it wasn't that easy as he claimed it to be. But still…  
She could choose to stop fighting. To go down in defeat.  
Or…  
She could choose to fight.  
Fight to get back control over her own life.  
Because even if Stoker was telling her that she was in control, she didn't feel that way.  
Was there an actual choice?  
No.

_Shaylon._

He was her reason and her life.  
She couldn't stop fighting.  
She couldn't leave him alone.  
He needed her.  
He needed her as much as she needed him.  
The pain would probably never go away.  
But she needed to find a way to make it liveable.  
For Shaylon.  
For her son.

She looked at Stoker with a sad smile on her face.  
"Thanks. I needed that."  
"I know. That's why I'm here."  
"Gosh, the arrogance."  
"You know me."  
"I do."

Another silence.

"Thanks, Stoke."  
"Anytime, pretty lady. Anytime. So uhm… you wanna dance?"  
"With you?"  
"No, with my father… Of course with me."  
"Sure. But I'm warning you, you probably can't keep up with me."  
"Watch me. I can assure ya that this old man hasn't lost his touch."  
"I find that hard to believe…"  
"Wait and see."  
Teasing each other, they walked back inside.

_**...**_

The party was in full swing, so nobody noticed the skinny and dirty female mouse who sneaked inside the Main Hall.  
She blended in perfectly as she made her way towards the love birds who were now dancing in the middle of the Hall on the self-made dancefloor.  
Nobody noticed the skinny and dirty female mouse that came closer and closer to her goal.  
Nobody noticed that she reached for a gun.  
Nobody noticed that she aimed the gun at Kiwi.  
There was _one_ who noticed the skinny and dirty female mouse when she laid her finger on the trigger.  
Everybody noticed the loud sound of the gun that was fired.  
But it was too late.  
For _one_, it was too late…

_To be continued..._

* * *

Uh oh…  
Another cliffhanger.  
Sorry…  
...not sorry, muahahaha!  
It's been a while that I used a cliffhanger.

So...  
Who's the intruder?  
And for who is it too late?  
Oh, the drama.

Feel free to leave a review, always very much appreciated.  
Thanks for reading my story.

Till next time, dudes!

Later!

PS: Right, disclaimers…  
I used the lyrics from 'All I ask of you' from the Phantom of the Opera.  
Gosh, I love that musical/movie.


	13. Chapter 13

You guys... Thanks for the reviews!

It's been a while.  
It sometimes feels as if I'm losing my touch.  
I can't write that much as I used to do.  
But as long as you guys are with me, I won't give up.  
I still enjoy writing, I just find it harder than before.

Anyway, this chapter is a bit shorter than usual, but I wanted to give you guys at least something after that horrible cliffhanger ;)

I loved to write about the wedding though, I can be a hopeless romantic from time to time.  
SpaceFlora, your review made me laugh so hard because it's so true.  
From the moment it gets too mushy, someone needs to die or get wounded or whatever.  
Keeps the balance bwhahaha.

Loved it.  
That is so me.

Anyway, enough with the talk.

Next chapter!  
Enjoy! ^^

* * *

**Chapter 13**

_Panic.  
__It was mixed with oxygen in the air.  
__While she was gasping for air, the panic got stuck in her throat.  
__Covering the delicate mucosa with a layer of poison._

_Her vision was blurry.  
__A tear left her eye and she felt how it followed its path down her face.  
__A weird tingling sensation in her ear when the small drop of salty water landed there, the end of its journey.  
__  
Flashes of light.  
__She blinked a few times.  
__A big blur.  
__Black and white.  
__Like Yin and Yang.  
__She blinked again._

_A face.  
__It was a face._

_Vinnie.  
__His ruby red eyes were wide open in shock.  
__His mouth opened and closed.  
__He was talking to her.  
__But her ears were ringing.  
__And instead of his beautiful voice, she only heard a high tone. _

_Clenching her teeth, she tried to lift her hand.  
__She wanted to touch him.  
__To feel the soft fur under her fingers.  
__But her body didn't cooperate._

_And suddenly, there was the pain.  
__Sharp like a knife.  
__It shot through her torso and right arm._

_The panic seeped through the mucosa in her mouth and throat.  
__It spread like wildfire in a dry forest and soon, her whole body was infected.  
__All of a sudden, she could feel her heart racing in her chest.  
__All of a sudden, she could see.  
__All of a sudden, she could hear._

"_Jesus, what were you thinking?"_

_The voice of an angel.  
__She opened her mouth, but the panic was starting to consume her.  
__The pain too.  
__She managed to squeeze out her answer._

_His face became a blur again.  
__It became smaller. _

_Weird..._

_As if she was falling into a pit.  
__The darkness around her was pulling on her body.  
__Sounds around her echoed through her head, but it didn't make any sense.  
__She blinked.  
__But there was no more light.  
__There was only darkness._

**_A few minutes earlier…_**

Kiwi was having the time of her life.  
Vinnie had shown her on Earth that he had some serious dancing skills, but that was only the tip of the iceberg, she now knew.  
The music was different, not like she was used to. But it was fine.  
They were living in a war, after all.  
No need to be picky.  
Just be grateful for the things that you do have.

When Vinnie spun her around, she could see Harley and Stoker dancing on their right.  
Modo and Amira on their left.  
Throttle and Carbine were sitting at a table in the corner, their tails entwined and engaged in a, by the looks of things, intense conversation.  
Kiwi smiled, her grin so wide it almost caused a cramp in her cheeks.  
Vinnie saw it and smiled too.  
"It's been a while since I saw you being this happy, sweetheart. Gotta admit, it makes you even sexier", and he wiggled his eyebrows.  
His right hand was now lying on her lower back and the pressure alone gave her goosebumps all over her body.  
His tail wrapped around her ankle and made its way up like a snake.  
When she realized what he was doing, her cheeks turned redder than red.  
"Oh my god, Vin, you can't do this, not here", she breathed, but she did no attempt to stop him.  
The white furred mouse pulled her closer as his tail suddenly reached its goal and she gasped.  
She looked into his twinkling eyes and her legs started to shake.  
Oh my god, this mouse… Honestly.  
Before she completely lost herself in the cloud of pleasure, she managed to jerk back to reality and she playfully pushed him away.  
"Jesus, Vinnie, that's just…", but she couldn't finish that sentence.  
A hard push made her stumble forwards and if it wasn't for Vinnie's great reflexes, she would've fallen.  
When his strong arms caught her, a loud bang made her ears ring.

_What the…_

Vinnie stiffened and Kiwi spun around.  
Harley was lying on the ground, gasping for air.  
A red spot on her right shoulder, getting bigger and bigger.  
Kiwi blinked a few times.

_What the..._

At that point, a few things happened at the same time.

Stoker threw himself on a female mouse, one Kiwi hadn't seen before.  
She landed on her belly with Stoker on top of her. The brown furred leader yanked the gun out of her small hand and threw it away.  
Then, he grabbed both of her hands and twisted them on her back as his tail wrapped around the wrists, to make sure she couldn't use them.  
The scrawny female mouse with a greasy fur was screaming bloody murder and tried to get loose, but failed.

"Mommy!"  
Shaylon ran towards his wounded mother, but Modo caught him.  
"Wow, easy little fella. Your mom needs space."  
"No, let me go, she needs my help!", the little boy screamed in terror, fighting to get out of Modo's grip.  
But of course, that was no use.

Vinnie pushed Kiwi in Throttle's arms, who was standing beside them out of nowhere and rushed over to the wounded female mouse.  
He fell on his knees next to her as his right hand covered the wound in her shoulder.  
Her blood turned his snow white fur red, but he hardly noticed.  
"Harley, stay with me, come on…", he whispered, putting more pressure on the wound.  
He looked into her beautiful blue eyes, now filled with pain and shock.  
"Jesus, what were you thinking?", the white furred mouse breathed.  
She lifted her hand and reached out.  
"Y-y-you remem… remember the d-d-day I gave y-you t-this?", she stumbled as her fingers touched the cold metal that was covering the right side of his face.  
Vinnie felt tears burning behind his eyes.  
"Of course I remember. How can I forget?"  
"I t-t-told you… to be s-sure you… you're not hurt ag-again, I'd give my l-life.. life for y-you…"

Vinnie's eyes grew big but before he could react, her hand fell on the floor, leaving bloody prints behind on his mask.  
Her eyes rolled back in her head and her breathing slowed down.  
A hand on his shoulder made him look up, straight into Throttle's face.  
"The doc is here, let's give him some space to do his job, okay?"  
His calm and husky voice made its way into his with panic clouded brain.  
But he couldn't just leave her, right?  
The image of his sister, who was lying at the foot of Limburger's building, all alone, her body broken, flashed before his eyes.  
She died alone.  
A thing she sure as hell didn't deserve.  
Just like Harley didn't deserve either...

"Vinnie…"

Kiwi's voice brought him back to reality and he scrambled backward, away from Harley's motionless body.  
And the crowd gave room to the medical staff, so they could do everything within their power to save Harley's life.  
Vinnie was still sitting on the floor, breathing heavily. His eyes were glued to the sight in front of him, but it was nothing more but a blur.  
There was only one thing he could think of.  
What if she died too?

**…**

"I need to see her."  
"I've got strict orders from Stoker to let nobody near her…"  
"I don't give a fuck. I need to see her, now. So, you better move your sorry ass…"  
"Or what?"  
"Or I'll make ya. And trust me I ain't polite…"  
"Bring it on, hotshot."

But before the guard was gonna be attacked by a very angry, upset and just married white furred mouse, Stoker stepped between them.  
"Stand down, punk. The guy is only following orders."  
Vinnie looked at his coach with fuming eyes.  
"I have every right to see her. I need to know who did this. More to the point, I need to know _why_."  
"I know you have a lot of questions and I can tell ya you ain't the only one. But she hasn't spoken a word since we threw her into the cell."  
"You make it sound like there's a problem. I'll make her talk…", and Vinnie pushed Stoker and the guard aside.  
But after only taking two steps in the direction of the cells, a metal tail wrapped around his arm to stop him.  
"You're ignoring a direct order here, rookie. You better be careful with your next move…"

Stoker's voice gave away his anger, but Vinnie wasn't amused either.  
He turned around and marched back to his leader.  
"I ain't no _goddamn_ army", he growled between clenched teeth as he poked his finger in the brown furred mouse his chest.  
"The girl tried to kill Kiwi. _My_ Kiwi. No way I'm gonna let that slip, _General_."  
He said the last word sarcastic, almost provokingly.  
Stoker narrowed his eyes as he gritted his teeth.  
"Now you listen to me... "  
"She _almost_ killed Harley. Why are you defending her?", Vinnie cut him off, a challenging glance in his eyes.  
Deep down, he knew he was crossing a line here, that he was pushing his coach too far.  
But nobody ever said that the white furred mouse was one with self-control.  
Emotions just took over and he acted without thinking.

_Nothing new, hehe._

"I'm not defending her, but we ain't no animals, punk. We have _rules_, and no matter the crime, we _act_ by these rules. And I won't allow someone to take matters into his own hands because that someone is incapable of handling his emotions!"  
"Make me."  
Stoker gave the white furred mouse a confused look.  
"Come on, old timer. Make me stand down. For_ old times_ sake..."  
The insolence on Vinnie's face made Stoker livid.  
He knew he was being provoked.  
Just as he knew that he needed to ignore it.  
But as usual, his own ego couldn't stand this, couldn't let this slide.  
That was the problem with him and Vinnie.  
They both had ego's bigger than Mars.

_Conflicting natures._

And even if Stoker was supposed to know better, supposed to be older and therefore wiser, he did the exact thing Vinnie wanted him to do.  
And that was starting the fight.  
He clenched his fist and lashed out, but Vinnie was prepared and dodged it.  
Before Stoker could blink, he felt Vinnie's fist crash against his lower jaw.  
And that was the start of a huge fight, both needing the emotional release after everything that happened.

**…**

Throttle and Carbine were on their way to the cells, walking hand in hand through the hallways.  
"Why is it that every time we try to have some fun, something like this happens?", Carbine sighed tiredly.  
"Guess it's part of living in a war. There's no time to get a break. To breathe", Throttle answered flatly.  
"At least nobody died today."  
"What did the doc say? Is she gonna be okay?"  
"She will. She just needs time to recover."  
"Luckily Modo is capable of taking care of Shaylon. They have this connection… It's pretty amazing."  
"Yeah, I saw that too. I hope Stoker has been able to get some answers."

When they walked around the corner, an auburn furred guard called Cas almost bumped into them.  
"Ah, just the two I was looking for. Is Modo with you?", he asked as his eyes scanned the empty hallway behind them.  
"No, why?", Throttle asked a little confused.  
"Because it's that time again…", Cas sighed. "I tried to separate them, but I need an extra pair of hands."  
The auburn furred mouse had joined the Freedom Fighters shortly after Vinnie, so this wasn't exactly new for him.  
It wasn't the first time he needed Throttle, Modo, or both to handle this.  
Carbine and Throttle shared a confused look, but then it dawned on the tan furred mouse.  
"Man… not again… Honestly, sometimes it feels like we're running a kindergarten instead of a resistance."  
Throttle quickened his pace, followed by Carbine and Cas.  
Carbine was still standing in the dark, but when they entered the small room which led to the cells, she immediately understood.

A white,- and brown furred mouse were rolling over the floor, caught in a fight that didn't look friendly.  
Throttle signed to Cas to grab Stoker and went for Vinnie himself.  
After a small struggle, they managed to separate the two and Throttle pushed Vinnie against the wall.  
Cas did the same with Stoker but on the other side of the room.  
Carbine set up in the middle as she folded her arms.  
"What the hell is going on here?", she asked with her most threatening voice.  
"He started", Vinnie immediately blurted out as he wiped off his bleeding nose, but still with that cheeky and arrogant glance in his eyes.  
"What? Oh, _come on!_ You practically asked for it, punk!", Stoker yelled back, already on his way towards Vinnie again with clenched fists, but Cas stopped him and pushed him back against the wall.  
"Right, if that's what's helping ya sleep at night", Vinnie answered innocently.

But luckily for Stoker, Throttle knew Vinnie.  
And he knew that the white furred mouse had provoked their coach, long enough for him to snap.  
"Drop the act and shut up, Vincent", he ordered.  
Vinnie folded his arms and his tail lashed through the air, but apparently, miracles did exist and he kept his mouth shut.  
"I can't believe this! We ain't kids anymore, so stop acting like one!", Carbine yelled furious, her eyes fuming as she looked from Stoker to Vinnie and back.

Stoker let out his breath.  
Dammit, she was right. He should've known better.  
They all knew that that white furred loudmouth wasn't the most grown-up mouse on this base and that sometimes, when the going got tough, he could act downright childish.  
It was up to him to be the grown-up, to rise above it.  
But this time, the punk got the best of him.  
Simply because he was nearing the end of his rope.  
The whole thing with Harley had cost him more than he liked to admit.  
And the fact that she almost died today didn't help either

"You're right, Carbine. I'm sorry. It won't happen again."  
"I wonder where I heard that before…", she answered sarcastically, but then her face softened. "Did you talk to the girl?"  
Stoker signed to Cas he had himself back under control and the auburn furred mouse let him go, saluted and left the room.  
"I tried, but she's stonewalling. Maybe you should give it a try."  
"_Hey_! I wanted to talk to her, but you didn't even let me near her! And now Carbine…", Vinnie started, but Throttle gave him such a deathly glare, he ate the rest of the words and bit his lower lip in anger.  
"Of course he didn't let you near her, you're not exactly subtle, jesus", Carbine snapped at him.  
"She's right, Vincent. You're too emotionally involved", Throttle added.  
"Besides, dead people don't talk", Stoker weighted in.  
Vinnie's fur bristled, but Throttle had it.  
"I'm so not in the mood for this, Vincent. Get out of my face, now."  
"But…"  
"_NOW!_"  
"Okay, okay! Slow your roll, dude. Jesus…", Vinnie mumbled as he made a hasty retreat.

Provoking Stoker and Carbine was one thing, but provoking Throttle…  
Well, that was a suicide mission.  
And he was way too cool to die.  
Time to track down Kiwi.  
He needed some serious stress release and no better way to do that than with sex.  
Besides, it was their wedding night after all.  
Weren't you supposed to have sex during your wedding night?  
And nothing, not even a crazy ass bitch trying to kill his girl was gonna be able to stop him and his beloved Kiwi.  
Not tonight.

**…**

Carbine took place across the girl, who was sitting on a chair with her hands tied to the table that was standing between the two Martian females.  
The light grey furred female mouse studied the one who was responsible for this mess and she couldn't help getting the feeling she knew her.  
But it was hard to tell.  
The girl was all skin and bone.  
By the looks of things, her fur used to be silver, but that was just a guess since it was covered with dirt.  
Her fingernails were gnawed to the bone and she was wearing a few rags that used to be clothes.  
It was clear to Carbine that the girl, whoever she was, went through a rough time.

She cleared her throat, but the girl kept her brown eyes low, avoiding any sort of contact with Carbine.  
"Is there something I can get for you?", Carbine started.  
No response.  
"Something to drink, maybe? Or to eat?"  
Still nothing.  
"Clothes?"

Suddenly, the head of the girl jerked up and looked at Carbine with fuming eyes.  
"You can drop the act now, Carbine. We all know this ain't who you are."  
Carbine blinked a few times.  
"How do you know my name?"  
The girl let out a humorless laugh.  
"Out of sight, out of mind, huh? Harsh. But not surprising at all."

Carbine started to feel annoyed, I mean, who did she think she was, talking to her like that?  
"I don't know what I did to make you this angry, but I don't appreciate your tone, lady. And above all, let's not forget it was_ you_ who showed up at a wedding while waving a gun. You want me to drop the act? Fine. Since the time for games is over, you better start talking. Who are you and why are you here?"  
"You really don't recognize me, now do you?", the girl asked with her eyes narrowed and a slightly disgusted look on her face.  
"Why don't you help me refresh my memory a little, huh?"  
"Sure. I used to live on this base. I was a happy girl until I met him."  
"Who?"  
"Vinnie."

Carbine stared at her, suddenly it started to dawn on her.  
But that was impossible…  
"You're dead."  
"Apparently, I'm not. I don't feel particularly alive either, but dead… not that much."  
"You killed yourself, I found your letter…"  
"My letter, not my body. I just left. I never said I was going to kill myself…", the girl interrupted her.

Carbine's heart almost exploded in her chest.  
"How did you get in here?"  
"Like I said, I used to live here. I know the way, including the few secret entrances. It really wasn't that hard."  
"And you came back, because...?"  
"To kill her. If I can't have him, no one can."

The girl spoke calmly, but her whole body gave away her anger.  
It was more than anger.  
Hatred came closest.

_Insanity._

Carbine couldn't sit here for a second longer.  
She needed to get the hell outta here, she needed time to process this.  
Without saying a word, she jumped at her feet and almost ran outta the room.  
She closed the door behind her with a bang and leaned against it, the back of her head resting against the cold metal.  
Her whole body was shaking, her stomach tied in a knot.  
Jesus.

"Babe, you okay?"  
Throttle's husky and calm voice brought her back to reality. He was standing in front of her, a worried look on his face.  
"Hey, easy now… You look like you've seen a ghost…"  
"I kinda did…", Carbine breathed, wiping off her forehead. "I know who she is."  
Throttle gave her a questionable look.  
Carbine took a deep breath.  
"Rose. Her name is Rose."

**…**

"Come on little fella, it's time to go to bed", Modo said gently, but firm.  
Shaylon shook his head as he clung onto his mother.  
"No, I need to be here when she wakes up", he answered.  
"I know you want to, but ya can't help your mom if you're too tired. If ya wanna help her, you need to take care of yourself first."  
Shaylon still didn't let Harley go, who was lying in one of the beds at the infirmary.  
Modo gave him some time.

"I… I don't think I can sleep…", Shaylon whispered after a long silence.  
His small voice caused a pang of pain in the gray furred giant's heart.  
The poor little fella had already seen too much for a boy of his age.  
"Why don't we go for a ride?', Modo blurted out.  
That took the boys attention, looking over his shoulders with his blue eyes wide open in surprise.  
"A.. a ride?"  
"Yeah, why not?. When I've got a lot on my mind, I go for a ride. Helps me clear the head a little."  
"And I can come with you?"  
Modo chuckled as he lay a hand on Shaylon's shoulder.  
"You can even sit in front of me if that's what you want. So, what do ya say?"  
Shaylon jumped at his feet and already sprinted to the door.  
Modo quickly followed him, still a smile on his face.  
"I'll take that as a yes."

Earlier this week, he had noticed that Shaylon was crazy about bikes and even more crazy about Lil' Hoss.  
The whole way to the garage, Shaylon kept babbling about everything he knew about bikes, his voice finally sounding more to his age.  
The glitter in his eyes showed Modo that despite everything the boy had been through, he wasn't lost yet.

That gave him hope, actually. A feeling he desperately needed after tonight.  
It had been such a beautiful night, full of love and joy.  
And of course, it had to end like this.  
He didn't know what he was surprised about.  
I mean, this had become the story of his life.  
_Their_ life.

_Death._

Everywhere they looked, there was death.  
But seeing this little boy this happy, made him forget about all that.  
Even if it was just this moment.  
But better small moments than nothing at all.

When they drove out of the garage, they didn't see that someone was watching them leave.  
Amira was leaning against the doorway, a smile on her face as she watched them go.  
For the first time she'd met Modo, he looked happy.  
Well, actually every time he was with the boy, he was happy.  
Real happy.  
The always visible worried glance in his eye gone for a moment.  
He loved children.  
He was crazy about them.  
And he was good with them.

Amira lay her hand on her flat stomach, a dreamy expression on her face.  
Thank the Mothers of Mars he loved children.

**…**

"Sweetheart! Sweetheart, I… OH."  
Vinnie burst inside Kiwi's room but stopped dead in his tracks when he found her crying on her bed.  
She was still wearing her dress, but her hair was already back to the usual mess.  
As she held her pillow tightly, tears streamed down her face.  
Vinnie walked closer and sat down on the bed next to her.  
"Hey babe, why are you crying?"  
Kiwi jerked upright and gave him a deadly glare with swollen eyes.  
"You really just asked me that?", she asked with a shaky voice.

Vinnie, taken back by this sudden hostility, blinked a few times.  
Guess there was something after all that was gonna stop him and his beloved Kiwi.  
He just was surprised it was his beloved Kiwi herself...  
"I uh… Yeah, but I guess it was a stupid question…", he mumbled.  
"Ya think? Lemme tell ya what I think; _stupid_ is not covering the load at all. _Stupid_ is nothing more but an understatement!"  
Vinnie stared at her as he created some distance between them.  
"Uh… okay?"

But Kiwi wasn't finished yet.  
"I just don't know how long I'm gonna be able to take this! Every time, every _goddamn_ time when I feel a pang of happiness, something happens and _BAM! _Misery all over again! Even tonight, even at our_ fucking_ wedding, that was supposed to be a night full of love and joy, someone ends up almost dead! It's starting to become a habit and I am _NOT_ amused! My life was almost perfect; my parents die in the most gruesome way right in front of me. I meet you; I end up living on a different planet in the middle of a war. Our relationship is going well; your long lost ex-girlfriend shows up. I get pregnant; I lose the baby and if that's not already bad enough, I also lose the chance to be a mom _FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!_ And _no_, I wasn't even sure if I wanted to be a mom in the first place but now the choice is made for me, _goddammit_! I'm getting married; a random girl shows up and tries to kill me, but remember that long lost ex-girlfriend I mentioned? She catches the bullet for me because she wants _YOU_ to be happy! I'm just a little fucking pawn in this game that's called my life and_ you_ ask me why I'm crying?!"

She ended her rant, breathing heavily as she looked at him with piercing eyes, one finger pointed at him.  
Vinnie opened his mouth but closed it again. His ears twitched, so did the top of his tail.  
But he was completely whelmed by Kiwi's outburst and therefore speechless.  
His ears drooped and he bit his lower lip as he lowered his gaze.

So here it was.  
He knew from the moment the doc spoke to her after the surgery that this day would come.  
That everything that was happening in their lives was getting too much.  
That the emotions, the pain, was getting too heavy to just lock it away.  
It always found its way out, _always.  
_And when it did, it was twice as painful as it was before.

He needed to be there for her.  
He _wanted_ to be there for her.  
But what could he say?  
It wasn't that he could promise everything would be better one day.  
That everything was gonna be alright.  
That one day, they would live in peace.

Heck, even if he wanted to win this war so desperately, he had no idea what to do when the moment was there.  
This war was all he had, it was his life.  
What if it was gone, all of a sudden?  
What the hell would happen then?  
He probably would fall in an abyss darker than imaginable.

_Ugh._

He needed to stop thinking like this.  
To stop thinking so far ahead.  
For now, they were still in war and the biggest problem at this point was Kiwi.  
His reason and his life was now standing in the middle of the room, still pointing her finger at him with shaking hand, her eyes narrowed and her usual lovely face now twisted in pain and anger.

_Here goes nothing._

"Sweetheart…"  
"Do _NOT_ call me sweetheart, not now! Don't you dare to _'sweetheart_' me!"

_Okay… Note to myself; don't call her sweetheart in a fight. _

"Kiwi…", he breathed as he climbed off the bed and he took a few steps into her direction, his hands in front of his body.  
"I know, okay? Trust me, I know. This life… It ain't fair. You deserve so much more. I grant you so much more than this…"  
He was now close to her and reached out with caution, expecting that she would push him away.  
But she didn't.  
She just stood there.  
Frozen.

So, he gently took her hand and pulled her in his arms.  
As he wrapped his arms around her, she started crying again.  
He sank on the floor cross-legged and with her in his lap, he just held her.  
"Oh, Kiwi… there's nothing in this world I wouldn't do for ya… I would shift heaven and Earth if that was possible… I wish I could. I wish I could take away your pain, I wish I could ease your sorrow… But I can't. All I can is give me to you. All the way. I'll be always here for ya. And for better or for worse… I'm standing by your side. That's all I can give. That's all I can do... I can only hope it's enough...", he whispered with a faint blush under his fur.  
It still felt weird to open up.  
It took some time to get used to that, that's for sure.

After crying for almost an hour, Kiwi slowly calmed down.  
Completely drained out she fell asleep in his arms.  
And Vinnie just sat there, holding the most precious person he had in his arms.  
He just sat there, the whole night, his whole body cramped from sitting in the same position for such a long time.  
But like he said; there's nothing in this world he wouldn't do for her.  
For his Kiwi.

* * *

Hehehe, and you guys all thought that it was Kiwi who got shot.  
Surprise!  
So funny.

Anyway, this chapter also had a few small cliffhangers on its own.  
And I will do my best to update as soon as possible.

Feel free to leave a review, always helps me to stay motivated.  
And thanks for reading my story.

Later dudes!


	14. Chapter 14

Hey you guys...

It's been a while, my apologies.  
So, a little late perhaps, but not less sincere; thanks for the reviews. :)

So, here's the next chapter, **_finally_**!  
Took me long enough, dammit.  
I hope you guys enjoy! ^^

* * *

**Chapter 14**

After a small hesitation, the silver-furred mouse laid his hand on the doorknob.  
His heart was racing in his chest, he was still having a hard time to believe that she was really here, waiting for him in the room behind this door.  
_Alive.  
_Taking a deep breath, he opened the door. With his eyes lowered, he closed it behind him.  
The click when it locked sounded like a gunshot so loud, breaking the almost suffocating silence that hung in the room.  
It was followed by the sound of rattling chains, but he still didn't look up.  
As he closed his eyes, an image of his childhood flashed by and the sound of a child laughing echoed in his head.  
A young girl who ran towards him with her arms spread, a big smile on her cute little face, her green eyes twinkling of pure happiness.  
_Rose.  
_His eyes flew open and looked straight into the same green eyes as the ones he had seen in his memory just now.  
It were the same eyes, that he knew, and yet, they were unfamiliar to him.  
Glassy.  
Empty.  
_Dead._

"Jax…"  
Her voice was toneless, the sound of it matched with the eyes.  
His gaze wandered over her face, her body...  
Everything about her was so different.  
She was the picture perfect image of a broken mouse.  
Scarred by life.  
He hardly recognized her and it broke his heart.  
Who was this creature sitting there, with her hands tied to the table, with those cold and empty eyes?  
From what Carbine told him, it was his sister.  
He knew it was.  
Was she?  
After yesterday's events?  
Yes.  
Even after what she did yesterday, she was still his sister.  
His little sister.  
They were bound by blood and nothing was able to change that.

"Rose…"  
Slowly, he walked to the table, his eyes now fixed on her tied hands.  
Even more slowly, he pulled back the chair and sat down across her.  
Then, he laid his hands flat on the table and after bracing himself, he looked up into her eyes again.  
"My god, Rose… I never thought I would see you again… I thought you were dead, that you… Well… I… To say it's a shock to sit here and look you in the eye again does not even begin to cover it."  
Her face remained blank, she didn't even blink and his heart broke a little more.  
What happened to her?  
"Is she dead?"  
Jax flinched by hearing that toneless voice again, feeling slightly disgusted to hear his little sister, who was always so full of love, ask him if she did or did not kill somebody yesterday.  
"Who? Kiwi, who you tried to kill or Harley, who took the bullet instead?", he asked in return, his voice sharp.  
Sharper than he intended to.  
But she didn't respond.  
She was just sitting there, looking at him with those scary empty eyes from which he knew where gonna haunt him in his sleep from this day on.  
"But no, she's not dead. In fact, I heard that she's gonna be okay, in the end", he sighed.  
"Pity."  
His right hand clenched into a fist, but he didn't break eye contact.  
He needed to get through to her.  
This female mouse, this…_ thing_ wasn't his sister.  
At least, not how he remembered her.  
She was always so warm and full of joy.  
Loving.  
Caring.  
She had to be in there.

"Do you even hear yourself? This isn't who you are, Rose…", he started, but she cut him off immediately.  
"It is."  
His left hand clenched into a fist too.  
"No, it's not. Look, I don't know what happened that made you_ this_ lost, but I know you. I was there when you were born, I watched you grow up and…"  
"Spare me the mushy_ 'good old days'_ speech, I don't wanna hear it", she spit out, her eyes now fuming all of a sudden.  
_Ah_.  
So she _was_ still in there.  
She always had a little temper.  
Jax leaned forward, his hands still clenched, now knowing how to get through to her.  
"Once there was a little girl, with curly hair and pleasant eye…"  
She froze, her right eyelid twitched and she shook her head, giving him a pleading look, but she didn't stop him.  
So, he continued.  
"A girl who always told the truth, and never, _never_ told a lie."  
Her lower lip started to tremble now and she was still shaking her head a little, although a lot less convincing now.  
"And when she trotted off to school, the children all about would cry."  
Her eyes filled with tears, her ears drooped.  
"There goes the curly-headed girl…"  
"The girl that never tells a lie", she whispered the last sentence of the poem that had run like a thread through their childhood.  
Jax nodded and laid a hand over hers.  
"That's right. Remember who you are, Rose…", he whispered back.

Her eyes were now filled with pain and agony and his heart broke a little more, but this was by far less hard than looking into those dead and empty eyes.  
"God, Jax… I missed you so much…", she breathed as she grabbed his hands in a tight grip.  
"Same goes for me, sis. I thought I had lost you forever… and yet, here you are. If I wasn't so happy to see you, I would be mad at you for leaving me behind like that…"  
"I'm sorry, but there was no other way… I had no choice…"  
"There's always a choice. You could've come to me and I would've helped you. But you decided to go without saying goodbye, leaving a letter behind that gave us all the impression that you went out to commit suicide. How could you do that to me? To Carbine?"  
Jax was surprised his voice didn't break.  
But even if he said he wasn't angry just seconds ago, he noticed that he was.  
Angry.  
He was angry at her for leaving like that.  
They were family.  
And she just left him.  
So, the anger gave him the strength he needed.  
Rose lowered her eyes, tears still streaming down her face.  
"I'm… I'm so sorry that I did that to you. But I had to get away. Away from…here. Here, with all the memories of… _him_."  
Him.  
"Vinnie?"  
She nodded, her eyes still avoiding his, it was clear that she felt ashamed.  
With good reason.  
She was acting like a spoiled brat in love, goddammit.  
But by seeing her vulnerability, his anger vanished like smoke in the wind.  
He gave a little squeeze in her hand.  
"What happened between you two? What did he do to you to turn you into this person I hardly recognize, this person that came back to kill someone?"  
For a moment, she only stared down, but then, her tormented facial expression softened and she even smiled as her eyes started to twinkle.  
"From the moment I laid eyes on him, everything made sense all of a sudden. My whole life, there was this emptiness that nothing could fill… But he could. I just knew he could. And he did. For one night, he did… And I don't think that I've ever felt so happy in my entire life as I was that night..."  
Jax said nothing, thereby giving her the time she needed to continue.  
"It's hard to explain what feeling he gave me that night, but I do know that I felt... _complete_ and I knew, I just knew, I'd found my soulmate…"  
Her smile slowly faded, the rest of her face darkened as tears filled her eyes again.  
"He told me there was nothing to it, that night. That he wasn't looking for a relationship. I told him I was okay with that because all that mattered at that moment was him giving me that amazing feeling. But the next morning when I woke up, he was gone. And that horrible emptiness was back again and I… I couldn't take it. Not anymore. Not after feeling complete for the first time in my life, even if it was for such a short matter of time."  
"Oh, Rose…", Jax sighed sadly, lowering his eyes to hide his shock.  
He never knew.  
He never knew that she was feeling like that when she was young.  
He did know why.  
He also knew that she didn't.

"I went looking for him, and when I found him… God, I just don't know what it was that he did to me, but I was attracted to him like a moth to a flame… But he… He was as cold as ice, he was acting so different than the night before... "  
Her voice broke, but she didn't stop.  
"He told me that I was nothing more but a one night stand, that I meant nothing to him… ", she sobbed and Jax couldn't stop himself from getting a bit misty too.  
His poor little sister.  
If she had only come to him...  
"He broke my heart, he used me and betrayed me, and yet… even after all that, I couldn't stay away from him. I followed him everywhere, tried to talk to him, tried to reason with him. I tried to tell him that I couldn't live without him, I just simply couldn't. But he kept turning me down, over and over again, but I… I just… God, Jax, what is _wrong_ with me?"  
Her body shook of crying and Jax couldn't hold himself back anymore.  
He knew he'd promised to Throttle and Carbine to not touch_ 'the prisoner'_, but fuck it.  
'_The prisoner'_ was his sister after all, and he needed to hold her.  
So, he jumped up and walked around the table, dragging his chair with him.  
After taking place next to her, he took her in his arms as far as that was possible with her being chained up.  
"Easy now… hush, love, hush... ", he whispered in her ear, just like their mother always did when they were being sad.  
That worked.  
Well, it worked enough to make her able to speak again.  
"I even... I even asked him to marry me, gave him granny's ring just like they do on Earth, so desperate I was for wanting him to be mine. But he still refused, he even got mad at me, yelled at me, called me names, even almost hit me...He broke my broken heart even more and still...still, all I could think of was how to get through to him, to make him understand that I needed him more than anything. But he left. For good. I didn't know back then that it was for good, but shortly after that he and Throttle and Modo disappeared and everyone here on the base assumed they were dead. I didn't believe it, but I went crazy staying here on the base. I needed to get the hell out of here, so I did. I wrote that letter and left because all I could think about was that I needed to go look for him…"  
"You left because you went looking for him?", Jax mumbled surprised, still holding her in his arms.  
"I just knew he was still alive. I searched for months. Years. I found nothing. Not until a few days back. I met a rat, the leader of the Outsiders, Tallie is her name. She told me she knew Vinnie, that he was back on Mars after being stuck on Earth, that he was gonna marry… _her."_

The transformation was shocking.  
Jax felt how her whole body froze in his arms, he could almost smell the anger, no _hatred_, that oozed out of every pore all of a sudden and he quickly let her go as if she was on fire.  
She straightened her back and when he looked her in the eye, his fur bristled.  
Gone were the tears.  
Gone was the sadness.  
Her eyes were as cold as ice, and her whole face was twisted in pure anger.  
"Rose…"  
"No one can have him, you hear me, Jax? He's mine! Mine, mine, mine!"  
Jax could only stare at her.  
She was… crazy.  
Then, without any warning, she grabbed his hands in a tight grip and leaned forward, as far as that was possible with her hands still chained to the table.  
The look in her eyes made him lean back, almost forced him to create some distance between them, but she didn't let him go.  
"I need to see him… Please, let me see him", she now begged, the anger turned to despair in just a split second.  
"Jax, please, I'm your sister… your_ little_ sister… Do this for me… I'm begging you…"  
Scratch crazy.  
_Insane_ came closer.  
"Go get him, please… _please!_"  
No.  
Scratch everything.  
Jax just knew there was more to it and the first pieces of the puzzle already fell in place.  
There were still some pieces missing, but he knew just where to find them.  
He needed to talk to Throttle.

**_…_**

Modo dropped on his bed and closed his eye.  
He was exhausted.  
It was only yesterday that Harley got shot, but taking care of Shaylon was already taking its toll.  
The boy was worried sick about his mother and it cost Modo a lot of effort to distract him a little.  
It just wasn't normal for a boy of his age to feel this responsibility for his mother.  
Of course he cared and he should, but this… this was different.  
But now, Shaylon was finally asleep and Modo decided to use the time to get some sleep himself.  
After the wedding and what followed, he hadn't been able to sleep, simply because Shaylon couldn't either, not even after a long drive through the desert.  
Modo's eye closed and he slowly drifted off, but then…  
"Modo…"  
His eye flew open again and he looked straight into the smiling face of Amira.  
"Amira ma'am, what..", he started, but she laid a finger on his lips to shush him.  
"Ssssh… We don't want to wake Shaylon", she whispered and Modo quickly looked at the small boy who was lying in Vinnie's bed, since the white-furred mouse was MIA since he'd left the cells after fighting with Stoker.  
But the kid was still sleeping like a baby, thank the Mothers of Mars.  
Modo looked back at his fiance and held up the blanket.  
"Wanna join me?", he asked softly.  
"I thought you'd never ask", and she crawled under the blanket.  
As she snuggled against the grey-furred mouse, she let out a satisfied sigh.  
"Even if the world outside is falling apart, everything is okay as long as I'm with you…", she whispered.  
Modo's heart warmed up by these words and he pulled her even closer.  
"Same goes for me, darling."  
They both grew silent again and Modo closed his eye, tired as he was, but again, Amira stopped him from falling asleep.  
"Modo?"  
"Hmmm?"  
"I'm pregnant."

**_..._**

With a loud bang, the door from Carbine's room flew open.  
Throttle and Carbine looked up surprised, only to see Jax standing in the doorway who was clearly upset.  
"Jax, you okay?", Carbine asked, even though it was obvious that he wasn't.  
"Did she give you some answers?", Throttle asked before Jax could answer the first question.  
The silver-furred mouse said nothing, but closed the door behind him and took place next to Carbine.  
He folded his hands and laid them on the table and for a moment, he just stared at his hands.  
Carbine shared a worried look with Throttle, but before they could ask more questions, Jax opened his mouth.  
"Rose is part of a twin."  
Carbine's eyes grew big.  
"Say what? What are you talking about? You never…"  
"She was born first and shortly thereafter, her brother followed", Jax cut her off, still staring at his hands.  
Carbine opened her mouth again, but Throttle stopped her by laying a hand on hers.  
"Let him talk", he whispered.  
Jax didn't hear them, or he pretended that he didn't.  
Either way, he continued with toneless voice.  
"My mom couldn't be happier, she had no idea she was carrying a twin. I still see her sitting in that bed with a baby on each arm, her face shining like never before. But just right after she spoke his name, his breathing stopped. My dad did everything within his power to save him, but he still died. Like he said; it just wasn't meant to be,"  
Jax now looked up, his black eyes filled with sheer sadness.  
"My mom made us swear never to tell, I don't know why, I mean, it wasn't something to be ashamed of, but she remained adamant; _nobody_ could know. My dad buried him in our garden that night and with that, he buried his entire existence. I was just a kid, I had no idea why we needed to erase him out of our life, but I did understand that I wasn't allowed to tell anyone. So I didn't. No one did…There were even moments that I forgot about him."

Carbine covered her mouth as tears filled her eyes by hearing this sad story.  
Her sister, her _own_ sister, had kept this from her.  
And why?  
Probably because she had no idea how to handle the sudden death of her own child, a thing Carbine couldn't blame her for.  
She herself couldn't tell how to deal with such a terrible loss, but she did know that completely erasing him as if he never existed wasn't the way.  
Throttle was still having his hand on hers, holding it tightly, quiet as a mouse.  
There had to be a reason why Jax was telling all this and his instinct told him this was only the beginning.  
The usual cheerful silver furred mouse looked small, the way he sat on that chair with his shoulders slumped.  
Jax swallowed with difficulty before he continued.  
"I spoke to Rose. And she told me…"  
For the first time, his toneless voice broke.  
Throttle gave him a friendly nod, to let him know it was okay to take the time he needed to grab himself together and Jax gave him a sad smile in return.  
"She… she told me that her whole life, she felt an emptiness inside of her that nothing could fill and I… God, I never knew. She never told me…"  
"I assume she doesn't know about her brother?", Throttle opened his mouth for the first time.  
Jax shook his head.  
"No, she doesn't. If only she told me… Shit, if I knew she was feeling this way, I would've told her and then all of this never would've happened and…"  
"Don't blame yourself for this. Blame your mother. She should never have asked you to keep this a secret, that's just wrong on so many levels", Carbine cut him off, wiping off her face angrily.  
"What I think is that we can't change the past and blaming someone for something that happened in the past will only turn you into an embittered mouse", Throttle said calmly as he squeezed Carbine's hand.  
When she didn't respond, he focussed his attention back on Jax.  
"I'm curious why you're telling us all this. What did you find out?"

The silver-furred mouse took a deep breath and then cracked.  
"Really, she seems as if she has lost her mind, everybody must think that she's a total wacko, me included, at first, that is. She has mood swings that aren't familiar to me, it's almost scary how quick she switches between different moods, as if she's having multiple personalities, I hardly recognize her…", he babbled, now on a roll and almost tripping over his words.  
"But this is my sister we're talking about, my little sister… I was there when she was born, I was there when she grew up and this isn't her. She ain't the type to go completely insane because of a guy, to _let_ herself being this obsessed…"  
"But she _is_, Jax. Obsessed. We can't ignore the facts here", Carbine interrupted his waterfall of words, but Jax hardly heard her.  
"She told me what happened, she told me everything… She told… She told me that… that Vinnie gave her the feeling of being whole again... ", the silver mouse now stuttered, it was clear to Throttle that the poor guy was feeling more than confused.  
He himself wasn't so sure about all this either, mainly because Jax was right; Rose wasn't the type for this kind of drama.  
Why he hadn't thought about that earlier he didn't know.  
Perhaps because it wasn't his business, but then again, he was close to Vinnie and Carbine, so didn't that fact make it his business?  
He stopped himself, he should know better than to dig up old skeletons.  
Besides, he had no idea that Rose just about stalked Vinnie back then, not until the white furred mouse told the story, back on Earth.  
I mean, the guy had been surrounded by girls ever since he'd joined the Freedom Fighters, so one more or less didn't exactly stand out.  
Either way…  
What mattered was the present and how he was gonna handle this situation here and now.  
Today, this whole thing _was_ his business.  
And his instinct told him something fishy was going on here.

"I can't stop thinking that there's more to it, but I'm having a hard time connecting the dots… I wondered, wasn't Vinnie part of a twin too?", Jax asked in the same breath.  
"Yeah, he was… or is…", Throttle mused, rubbing his chin as he let his mind wander back to the time that his younger bro and Rose met.  
It was after Harley disappeared, that he knew.  
Hmmm…  
He replayed Jax his words in his mind, over and over again.  
What was he not seeing that he needed to see?  
"Throttle", Carbine started, but he held up his hand to stop her.  
"Give me a moment, babe", he mumbled as he closed his eyes, his brain making overtime now.  
So again; Rose and Vinnie met in that awful period after Harley's disappearing.  
_Vinnie...  
_His youngest bro was completely lost back then, wandering around to find someone who could heal him after his connection with Harley was brutally broken.  
An exposed mind left behind...  
_Rose…  
_A young girl, wandering around to find someone who could make her feel whole after her connection with her twin brother was brutally broken, although without her knowing.  
An exposed mind left behind…  
Connecting the dots…  
Connecting the dots…  
Connect…  
Throttle's eyes flew open.  
"I think Stoker might be able to help her."

_**…**_

Kiwi slowly opened her eyes and the first thing that hit her were her sore muscles.  
A moan escaped her mouth as she moved her head and with a little effort, she eventually succeeded to get upright.  
Looking around her, she noticed that she was sitting on the floor, still wearing her wedding dress.  
"Man, how much did I drink last night?", she groaned as she rubbed her stinging eyes.  
Her throat was sore and felt a little swollen.  
When she did an attempt to get on her feet, something stopped her.  
Her gaze lowered and she now saw that her legs were entwined with legs in black biker jeans.  
A white-furred tail was lying on the ground as a lifeless snake.  
A naked, muscular white furred torso, big ears…  
A smile curled her lips when her heart warmed up with love for this sleeping creature.  
Her soulmate.  
Her home.  
Her… _husband.  
_It was gonna need some time to get used to that.

But why on Mars did they lay on the floor and for how long?  
The sun was already standing high in the sky, warming up the room to almost unbearable temperatures, the cold of the night long gone.  
She lifted her hand and her fingers slid along the most precious earring she ever had.  
They were married.  
They were really married!  
A dream coming tr…  
_Wait.  
_It suddenly hit her.  
The shot.  
Harley.  
The skinny and dirty female mouse, a gun in her small hand…  
"No…", Kiwi whispered as the sorrow that was driven away by sleep now once again overwhelmed her.  
Her outburst.  
She looked at Vinnie again, who was still out like a light, and her heart made a little jump.  
She had yelled at him.  
She had blamed him for this life they were living, even if he was the last one to blame.  
Jesus, she had totally lost it.  
Shame made her cheeks burn.  
This was by far _the _worst wedding night in this entire galaxy, that she knew for sure.  
No one could conquer this.  
_No one._

Seeing Vinnie's relaxed face, his anger and worries gone for now, it was guilt that tied her stomach in a knot.  
With clenched teeth, she untangled her sore body, kneeled down next to him and reached out her hand.  
"Vinnie", she whispered as she touched his cheek tenderly.  
He frowned and made a little sound, but he didn't wake up.  
"Vinnie, please, wake up… I'm so sorry…"  
His frown got deeper and the tip of his tail twitched.  
"Vinnie…"  
Too late she realized that she shouldn't wake him up, not when he's this deep asleep.

'_Waking a soldier with trauma can be dangerous.'_

It was Throttle's husky voice that echoed in her head.  
And, as usual, the tan-furred mouse was right.  
A loud click.  
Cold steel against her forehead.  
Vinnie was already sitting upright and he looked at her with a wild look in his eyes as he held his gun against her head.  
"Jesus, Vin, put that away. You're almost giving me a heart attack here", she breathed while grabbing her chest.  
The wild look faded and his ruby red eyes grew big as he quickly threw the gun over his shoulder.  
"I'm giving _you_ a heart attack? I almost _died_ just now, sweetheart", he panted, wiping off his forehead.  
"Dammit, the next time you wake me, do it with a little more subtlety, alright?"  
"But I…", Kiwi started, but she stopped herself.  
Time was too precious to have this discussion right now.  
A useless discussion.  
"Never mind. I just… Look, I'm sorry for everything I said last night, it wasn't fair to let it all out on you…"  
Vinnie bit his lower lip while having a thoughtful frown between his brows, but then shrugged.  
"I get it. I really do. Life ain't easy, especially here... "  
"It isn't, but I chose to be here. I could've stayed on Earth, but I didn't and not only because Chaz told the government about you guys. But it all got a little too much yesterday, I guess…"  
Vinnie gently took her hand and entwined his fingers with hers.  
"Babe, it's okay, it really is… We all lose our shit sometimes, you ain't the first and sure as hell ain't the last…"  
Kiwi's heartbeat slowed down, feeling how his calmness embraced her. Letting out her breath, she stared at their entwined fingers.  
And she suddenly remembered what he'd said yesterday before she fell asleep in his arms.

'_There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do for ya… I would shift heaven and Earth if that was possible… I wish I could. I wish I could take away your pain, I wish I could ease your sorrow… But I can't. All I can is give me to you. All the way. I'll be always here for ya. And for better or for worse… I'm standing by your side. That's all I can give. That's all I can do... I can only hope it's enough...'_

"It's enough", she whispered as she looked up, straight into his beautiful eyes and she saw he understood.  
"It's more than enough…"

**_..._**

"I have reason to believe that she's connected with Vinnie", Stoker said to Jax.  
They were sitting in the room next to Rose, who was sitting at the exact same spot where Jax had left her.  
There was a small window between the two rooms and the silver-furred mouse was staring at his sister, his arms folded.  
Rose was holding herself tightly, rocking back and forth and her lips moved constantly, probably because she was talking to herself.  
After Throttle had told Stoker everything, the brown-furred leader of the resistance had summoned Carbine and Jax to meet him and Throttle in this room and here they were.  
Jax now turned to Stoker.  
"Connected?", he asked, a questionable look on his face.  
"But Vinnie is connected with Kiwi, a mouse can only connect with one at a time, right?"  
Stoker nodded.  
"That's correct."  
"But how…"  
"She is connected with him, he, however, is _not_ connected with her."  
Jax and Carbine stared at Stoker with their mouth open.  
"Can you please explain yourself? ", Carbine eventually asked tiredly, rubbing her eyes.

Stoker made himself as comfortable as possible on the chair made of Martian Stone and cleared his throat.  
"Okay, lemme start at the beginning. As you probably know by now, twins have a special connection, already formed when the babies are still safe in their mommy's belly. Once the twins are separated, for whatever reason, the connection breaks. Usually, that ain't that much of a problem, the mind will heal the mental wound within a short matter of time. A twins mind, however, doesn't. That's because the connection is made in the growing process. The twins grow together, let's say, mentally hand in hand, binding them for life. Meaning; the connection ain't meant to be broken, it supposed to be there for a lifetime, but hey, what can I say? Life's a bitch", Stoker shrugged with an apologetic look on his face.  
"Can't argue with that", Carbine mumbled.  
"Okay, so what happens when the connection does break, apart from the fact that it's not meant to be broken?", Jax asked impatiently.  
"As I said, usually the mind will heal itself, but not in this case. There's a gap left behind that doesn't go away, like a wound that never heals. We Mind Walkers call that an exposed brain, or, to borrow from the vernacular; an _open mind_."  
Jax now took place across Stoker without breaking eye contact, clearly intrigued and the latter continued.  
"So, both Rose and Vinnie are part of a _broken twin_, right? They both have this huge mental wound in their head, always feeling as if there's something missing, although they have no idea what it is. Only one thing can fill that emptiness and that is love. _True_ love. So, let's take the punk as an example; he loses his sister right after the war started and the connection breaks. He joins the Fighters, clearly searching for a way to walk alone after having his sister by his side for sixteen years. Shortly thereafter, Harley walks into his life..."  
"I was there when he saw her", Throttle took over when he heard the pain in Stoker's voice.  
"He fell head over heels in love with her, as if he by only seeing her already knew that she was the one who could heal him. It all makes sense now."  
"Okay, so he connected with Harley, right?", Jax asked.  
"After a few months, he did. But she got kidnapped and again, the connection is brutally broken. Again, the twin is alone, alone as no other individual will ever be, with the so-called open mind", Stoker continued after giving Throttle a small but grateful smile, his way of telling him that he had himself back under control.  
"The months after that he desperately searches for someone who can make him whole again, and it is then when he meets Rose. She's having the same feeling as Vinnie had when he saw Harley, and therefore, she feels attracted to him. Perhaps her subconscious noticed something, telling her that he was also lost, just like her, I dunno, it's just a guess since this is a kind of a grey area. What I do know is that mice with an open mind are vulnerable. They sometimes connect with someone out of despair and if that happens, the connection is always just one way, no exceptions. It's a rare thing, but it happens."  
"But he did give her the feeling of being whole again, how is that even possible if the connection was only one way?", Jax asked confused.  
"Because they had sex", Stoker simply answered.

A big blush appeared under Jax his silver fur and he covered his ears.  
"I don't wanna hear it, she's my sister, and sisters don't have sex, remember?"  
"Jax, for the love of god, grow up", Carbine snapped at him before she turned her attention back to Stoker.  
"Go on."  
Stoker glanced at Jax with a small smile around his lips, but then grew serious again.  
"When Martian Mice have sex, they connect, but it's different. I guess the easiest way to describe it is that they connect only halfway, ya know, only in the heat of the moment. That explains why Rose felt as if she was whole again, but only for that short matter of time."  
Jax lowered his hands and his ears flapped back to their usual position.  
"Okay, so lemme get this straight; They were both desperately searching for a way to fill the emptiness inside of them and because they both were walking around with a so-called open mind, they find each other. Rose then connects with Vinnie out of despair, and in return, Vinnie connects with her halfway when they have uh… ya know. But why didn't Vinnie completely connect with her? I mean, if I got this right, they were both in the same boat."  
"Honestly? I don't know. The mind is the most complicated thing in this entire universe and therefore very hard to understand. Like… Why do people fall in love with each other? Out of all the people, two find each other and match. It's remarkable, really."  
Jax gave him a look, making clear that this whole fucked up situation was everything but remarkable if he had something to say about it.  
"She said she'd found her soulmate. What sick universe, or whatever it is that's deciding this, let her meet her soulmate when it's clear that she ain't his?", he asked instead.  
Stoker shrugged.  
"Who knows? Like I said; life's a bitch. Why do children die? Why did the Plutarkians invade our planet? There's a lot of misery in life from which we'll never know the reason why it's there in the first place."  
"Is this why she's acting like this? Is this why she tried to kill someone?"  
Stoker nodded and then sighed as he folded his arms, leaning back in his chair.  
"Unrequited love is hard to accept, that I know from personal experience... but from what I've heard, an unrequited connection can make a person go completely crazy."

Jax his gaze wandered to the small window.  
"Can you help her?"  
"I can break the connection. That's it. That's all I can do for her."  
"But then she'll turn back to her old self, right?"  
"Theoretically speaking; yes."  
Alarmed by the choice of words, Jax looked back at Stoker, a frown between his eyes.  
"What do you mean, theoretically speaking?"  
"That's my way of telling you that this will be the first time that I'm doing this."  
"But you _do_ know how to do it, right?"  
"I do."  
"Then do it."  
Stoker nodded and got up.  
But instead of walking to the door, he just stood there for a moment, his brows thoughtfully frowned and rubbing his chin.  
Then, he bent forward, leaning on the table, and looked Jax straight in the eye.  
"One question. What was his name? Ya know, from her twin brother?"  
Jax glanced at the small window again.  
"Why do you wanna know?"  
"Just answer the question."  
The silver-furred mouse looked back at Stoker.  
"Finn. His name was Finn."

* * *

Oh man, that's quite a story Rose got there.  
Will Stoker be able to free her from this curse?  
And why did he need to know the name of Rose's deceased little brother?  
Again, more questions than answers, hehe.

Ooohhh, and Modo's gonna be a dad!  
So cool!

Anyways, hope you guys liked this chapter.  
Feel free to leave a review, always very much appreciated.  
Till next update and hopefully, that will be quicker than this one.

Later!


	15. Chapter 15

Hey, y'all!

A little late, but not less sincere...  
Thanks for the reviews, follows and favs.  
I'm glad to see that you're still with me, even though I'm unable to update this story as much as I want to.  
And I'm sorry about that.

BUT... I've managed to finish another chapter.  
Hope you guys like it.  
Feel free to leave a review and till next time!

Ciao!

* * *

**Chapter 15**

"You know… I kinda feel bad", Carbine said softly as she stared through the small window.  
Her niece was still holding herself tightly, but now looking at Stoker who sat across her with suspicion written on her face.  
"About what?", Throttle asked a little surprised.  
After one more look at her niece, she turned around to face the mouse she loved with every fiber in her body.  
"For blaming Vinnie."  
She walked to the table and sat down next to the tan-furred male.  
"I've always believed that all this was because he couldn't keep his pants on, but now it turns out it's so much bigger than that…"  
"Ah Carbine… Don't do this to yourself. You couldn't have known", Throttle sighed as he laid his hand on hers.  
She looked up, her usual twinkling eyes now dimmed by tears.  
"You did. Well, not about the connection, but you always believed in Vinnie. I just wish… Well, I should've listened."  
"You weren't entirely wrong for blaming him, babe. He was spinning off in the wrong direction, back then."  
"Maybe, but still you believed in him…"  
"I did and still do. He's not a bad guy, Carbine. He's just… complicated."  
"I know. Now. I know now. God, I feel awful."

Throttle pulled her closer to him and wrapped his arms around her.  
"It's never too late to say sorry, you know…", he whispered in her ear before planting a kiss on her temple.  
"I think it is… I mean, it's Vinnie we're talking about. He isn't exactly a rather forgiving mouse…"  
"But he isn't made of stone either. Talk to him. Be honest and sincere and you'll see he's not that hard to talk to. Just don't… _yell_ at him."  
Carbine let our her breath and buried her nose in Throttle's neck.  
"Maybe I will do that. Talk."  
"Only if you're ready."  
"I love you. So much..."  
"I love you too, more than words can express."  
She smiled against his fur, but still with tears in her eyes.  
"I'm so tired, Throttle…"  
"I know, babe, I know", the tan-furred mouse said soothingly.  
"Will there ever be a day that I don't have to worry about war? Will there ever be peace on Mars?"  
Throttle gently stroked her hair.  
"Yes. One day. I just don't know when."  
Carbine looked up at him.  
"How can you be so sure?"  
"I'm not. But sometimes, you just gotta have faith", he smiled at her as his finger gently followed the line of the scar on her nose.  
She gave him a sad smile back.  
"I guess you're right. I've always admired your positive spirit. Guess that's one of the reasons I fell in love with you."  
"But I'm a thinker too. Sometimes, I think too much. You, on the other hand… You're not afraid to make quick decisions", he answered a bit evasive.  
Carbine planted a kiss on his nose.  
"We complement each other well. By the way, you're being way too modest, as usual. You're a good mouse, Throttle. Don't forget about that. Don't you _ever_ forget about that."

It was then when Jax came back.  
"Did I miss something?", he asked as he immediately walked to the door to look through the small window.  
"I don't think so", Carbine answered as she made herself loose from Throttle and she joined her nephew by the window to see that the scene inside indeed hadn't changed.  
"I think he needs some time to prepare himself."  
Jax glanced at her before turning his gaze back on Rose.  
"I hope that he can help her. I hope that he can bring back my sister."

...

At the other side of the door, Stoker sat across Rose with a frown on his face.  
She was looking back a bit suspiciously, not really sure what to think because he hadn't said a word since he came into the room.  
He just... sat there.  
After a long and awkward silence, Rose cleared her throat and leaned forward.  
"Can you unchain me?", she asked and lifted her tied hands.  
Stoker didn't respond, he didn't even blink. From the looks of things, he was deep in thought, so perhaps he hadn't heard her.  
"Can you _please _unchain me? ", Rose repeated the question, more compellingly this time.  
Still, nothing.  
With a loud bang, she slammed her tied hands on the table.  
"Let me go! I need to see him, goddammit, I can't stand the thought that he is inside this building and that I'm stuck here!"  
When that didn't work, her face expression switched to agony.  
"Please, Stoker, let me go, please, I can almost smell him, it's driving me crazy, I need to see him, please…", she babbled as her eyes filled with tears.  
But Stoker hardly heard her.

_Finn._

Could it be?  
It was a long shot, but it did make sense.  
As Rose kept shouting and crying to him that he needed to let her go, the brown-furred leader slowly leaned forward.  
"What year were you born, Rose?", he asked.  
Rose fell silent and her eyes narrowed in confusion.  
"What?"  
"You heard me. What year were you born?"  
After a short silence, she answered the question.  
"The year of the comet."  
_Same year.  
_"Why?"  
"Do you believe in ghost stories, Rose?"

...

Vinnie made his way through the hallways, still a bit taken back by the outburst of Kiwi last night.  
He didn't blame her, but he couldn't deny the fact that her words had hurt him.  
He felt guilty, even though he knew that was the last thing she wanted him to feel, but he wasn't exactly in control over his feelings and emotions.  
_Ha_, he was the last one to be.  
All he ever wanted was her to be happy.  
What if he couldn't _make_ her happy?  
This life was hard and she deserved so much better than this.  
But he couldn't let her go.  
He just couldn't.  
Selfish, yes, but no one ever said he wasn't.  
But he did feel guilty about it, whether he liked it or not.

Shaking off the unpleasant feeling, he burst inside the room where he was headed to.  
To his surprise, he saw Jax standing by the door that led to the interrogation room, who now turned around to see who was coming inside.  
"What is he doing here?", Vinnie asked as he closed the door with a bang, somehow annoyed to see the silver-furred mouse here while he wasn't allowed to talk to the female who'd tried to kill _his_ girl.  
Throttle rose on his feet and blocked Vinnie's way.  
"Now isn't a good time, Vincent…"  
"I don't care. I wanna talk to…", but before he could finish his sentence, a loud racket was heard out of the other room.  
"What the…"  
"He's here! He's here! I can smell him from here! Let me go, now! I need to see him!", a female voice was hearable over the noise of furniture that fell on the ground.  
"Shit. Get him out of here, now!", Jax yelled over his shoulder to Throttle before he opened the door to ran inside.  
The door closed behind him before Rose could catch a glimpse of Vinnie, who -by the way- wasn't planning on going anywhere.  
He wanted answers and of course, he wanted them _right_ now.  
The last time that he was being kept in the dark didn't really work out well for him and he was determined to prevent a recurrence.  
But that didn't stop Throttle from trying.  
Not because he _wanted_ to keep things from his younger bro, oh no, the last time he did was still burned in his memory too, but simply because his presence triggered Rose in ways they couldn't use right now.  
"He's right, Vinnie, you need to leave. I'll explain everything, I promise you, but…", the tan-furred mouse therefore started, but he didn't come further.  
Vinnie pushed his bro and leader aside and marched to the door with the window.  
"_Or_ you just act without thinking, as usual", the tan-furred mouse sighed as he shared a look with Carbine, who was wise enough to keep her mouth shut.

Vinnie ignored his older bro and stared at the scene in front of him.  
There she was.  
The skinny and dirty female mouse who'd tried to kill Kiwi.  
The furniture scattered throughout the room told Vinnie she wasn't only insane but that she was strong too.  
Stoker and Jax were both holding one arm to stop the girl from getting to the door, whose hands were tied in front of her body.  
That didn't stop her from trying to escape, though.  
She kept screaming that she needed to see him, even though Vinnie had no idea who she meant with _'him'.  
_The white-furred mouse looked into her green eyes, which almost popped out of the eye sockets and he couldn't help himself but getting the feeling that the eyes of the girl were somehow familiar to him.  
"Who is she?", he asked without turning away his gaze.  
"If I tell you, do you promise to leave?", Throttle asked in return, knowing it was pointless to just _ask_ him to leave.  
But most of the time, Vinnie kept his promises, so he might as well give it a shot.  
"Fine…"  
"Fine what?"  
"I promise."  
Throttle took a deep breath, bracing himself for anything since he wasn't sure how the white-furred mouse was gonna react.  
"It's Rose."

Vinnie froze, even his tail stopped moving.  
_No way…  
_So that's why her eyes were somehow familiar.  
It all came back now.  
How many times had he looked into these eyes, trying to get through to her that he wasn't interested in her?  
Too many times.  
Too many goddamn times.  
It had made him more than just frustrated.  
Distraught, because of not knowing how to get through to her.  
And now, he felt the same helpless feeling while looking into her eyes again.  
This was a deja vu.  
But anger pushed everything away all of a sudden.  
Because she'd tried to kill Kiwi.  
His girl.  
She'd crossed the line now.  
Big time.  
Besides… wasn't she supposed to be _dead_?

Before Throttle could stop him and his promise already forgotten, Vinnie yanked the door open.  
"Get the hell out of here, punk, you're only making things worse", Stoker snapped at him, still holding Rose tightly, who now froze in his and Jax's hands when her eyes landed on the mouse she would give her life for.  
"_I_ make things worse?", Vinnie asked outraged and full with disbelief as he stopped in front of Rose.  
His hands were more than itchy to blow her brains out, but he knew that would break Jax and Carbine's heart.  
And even though they weren't his two best friends, he still didn't wish that upon them.  
Still...  
Rose suddenly inhaled deeply with her eyes closed, sniffing the air.  
A bizarre smirk curled her lips and she opened her eyes again.  
"I've missed your scent, so much… You have no idea how happy I am to see you again."  
"Can't say it's mutual. You just don't give up, huh? You tried to kill my girl. For that alone I should kill you", Vinnie reacted with a slightly disgusted look on his face as he folded his arms.  
"No, Vinnie, you don't understand, it's…", Jax started, but he didn't come further.  
Because Vinnie's words now dawned upon Rose and she went ballistic.  
"You belong to me, you hear me!", she cried out, struggling to get loose. "To me! And not to that little_ slut_ from Earth!"  
Without thinking, Vinnie grabbed the small, fragile and in his eyes insane female mouse by the throat.  
He usually didn't take out his anger on a woman, but for her, he was more than willing to make an exception.  
"What did you just say?", he asked with a low voice, his left ear twitching.  
"You heard me! You belong to me! To _me_!", Rose yelled back.  
Throttle, who'd followed Vinnie inside, now grabbed his arms.  
"Alright, reunion time is over", he grumbled and dragged the white-furred mouse away from Rose, who was still more than hysterical.  
"You belong to me! You'll find out soon enough!"  
"I belong to only one person and it ain't you! It will _never_ be you! I'd rather _die_!", Vinnie snapped back at her, just before the door closed behind him.

His words only made things worse, as far as that goes and Stoker and Jax needed all their strength to hold her.  
"Goddammit, Rose, calm down! Fight that stupid voice in your head!", the leader of the Freedom Fighters growled, but it was no use.  
"This ain't gonna work. I'm sorry, Rose", and Stoker planted one foot in her knee pit.  
As a result, the female mouse fell on the ground and the brown-furred mouse sat down on her back, now using his weight to control the hysterical female mouse. His metal tail wrapped around her ankles as he looked at up at Jax.  
"Go get a doc, Jax, so we can tranquilize her."  
"You sure you can hold her?", Jax asked hesitantly, but Stoker wasn't in the mood for contradiction.  
"I just gave you an order, rookie, so why are you still here?_ Go!_"  
The silver-furred mouse saluted and quickly left the room.  
When he rushed past Throttle, Vinnie and Carbine, he ignored them for he was on a mission now.

Vinnie yanked himself free from Throttle's hands and adjusted his clothes.  
"Holy shit, what the hell is wrong with her?", he asked to no one in specific, his voice a bit shaky from both anger and shock.  
He then looked at Throttle.  
"Look, I _know_ I'm irresistible for the ladies, and I'm more than willing to carry that burden as the hero I am. I can't blame them either, I mean, look at me, my looks have got no parallel..."  
"And your point is?", his leader and bro interrupted him, not in the mood for hearing the about a thousand reasons why Vinnie thought the girls dug him.  
Not today.  
"Right, my point...", the white-furred mouse smiled a bit sheepishly, rubbing his chin, for a moment forgotten what he wanted to say.  
But then the penny dropped.  
"Ah. My point is that this… this ain't normal. There's gotta be more to it."  
"Oh, so _now _the brain starts to work…", Throttle answered sharply, but then he heaved a sigh and gestured to the table.  
"But yeah, there's more to it. Sit down, it's a long story."

…

Kiwi hesitated, but then walked over to Harley's bed.  
She wasn't entirely sure why she was here, for they both couldn't stand each other and yet, here she was, now standing next to the bed of the female mouse who'd saved her life.  
"Hey", Kiwi said softly.  
Harley turned her head and when she saw the human female standing by her bed, she frowned in confusion.  
"Hey... "  
"How are you feeling?"  
"How do you think I'm feeling?", Harley asked in return, her voice as sharp as a knife.  
Kiwi heaved a sigh.  
This was gonna be harder than she thought.  
She _so_ didn't want to be here right now.  
But she had some things that needed to be said.  
And as Vinnie would say: '_The party ain't over till the fat lady sings_.'  
So, it was time to sing.

She grabbed a chair from behind her and sat down.  
"Okay, okay, I get the point. No need to put on a charade. I'm sure you're wondering why I'm here. I'm probably the last person you wanna see right now..."  
"I don't suppose you're here to be sociable. If so, feel free to leave again. I'm anything but sociable right now."  
The pain was clearly hearable in her voice and it broke Kiwi's heart.  
It really did.  
Harley didn't deserve this shit, certainly not her.  
Not after all the shit she'd already been through.  
She may not know much about her, but she did know that the girl had her heart in the right place.  
If she hadn't been Vinnie long lost love, Kiwi would have even liked her.  
But, unfortunately, she was and for that reason alone they couldn't be friends.  
And Harley was right, she wasn't here to be sociable.  
"I'm here to thank you. You saved my life, even though you have reason enough not to do it. But you did. So, thanks."

Harley stared at her before she tried to get upright.  
Kiwi immediately jumped at her feet to help her, but the female mouse held up her hand to stop her, her blue eyes fuming.  
Slowly, Kiwi sat down again, for it was clear that Harley didn't want her help.  
When Harley finally had found a comfortable position, she was already panting of effort.  
The light-brown-furred female mouse then looked at Kiwi again, who was now sitting on her hands to stop herself from doing something Harley didn't want her to do.  
Like helping her, for example.  
Honestly, Martian Mice and their pride...  
"You really think that I did this…-", and Harley gestured at her wound. "... for you?"  
Kiwi blinked a few times by hearing the offensive tone in her voice, but Harley didn't wait for an answer.  
Apparently, it was a rhetorical question.  
_Good.  
_Because Kiwi knew damn well that Harley didn't do this for her.  
Still, she said nothing, anxious to hear this from Harley's point of view.  
"I didn't do this for you. I did this for him. Because I want him to be happy. Because I promised him a long time ago that I would give my life for him to be happy. Because I saw the pain in his eyes after what Jester did to him, and I vowed to myself that I would do anything to prevent myself from seeing that pain again…"  
Her voice broke and Kiwi looked up, a bit surprised and saw how tears filled Harley's beautiful blue eyes.  
The anger was gone.  
There was only pain and a bleeding heart left.

Slowly, Harley reached out her hand and touched Kiwi's cheek, softly.  
Gently.  
"I love him. I _know_ him. And he loves you, so much…", she whispered.  
"I couldn't let you die for my own personal gain, it would destroy him. And he's been through enough."  
"But what about you? Haven't you been through enough too?", Kiwi blurted out, glancing up at Harley from under her lashes.  
The female mouse gave her a surprised look, but then looked away before she eventually answered the question.  
"Maybe I am. Maybe I didn't do this just for him. Maybe… maybe I hoped it was time for me to leave this strange and cruel world…"  
Tears made Kiwi's vision blurry.  
This is why she was so upset the other night.  
She was able to feel someone's pain quite easily and there was a lot of pain on Mars.  
This war…

Still.  
There wasn't only pain.  
Good things happened, even though they were rare.  
But they _did_ happen.  
And if there was something she'd learned on this crazy journey, it was that it were the good things that mattered.  
She wasn't sure if Harley would take it from her, probably not, but still, the least she could do was try.  
Try to tell her that life could be good, sometimes.  
"I get it", she started, but Harley gave her a doubtful, almost arrogant look.  
"I don't think you do."  
The old Kiwi would've listened, would've been discouraged by the look in the female mouse her eyes.  
The new Kiwi, however, the one she'd become after all the things she'd been through, didn't.  
"But that's where you're wrong. I really do get it. I tried to kill myself too, once. It feels like ages ago now…"  
Surprise chased away the doubts on Harley's face and she lowered her gaze a bit ashamed.  
"I.. I didn't know that. I'm sorry."  
"You couldn't have known. And no sorry. I'm not telling you this to gain pity. I'm telling you this because I want you to know that no matter how dark things are right now, there _is_ light at the end of the tunnel. I can tell. It's a long and hard road to follow, but in the end, it's worth it. In the end, it will get better."  
She rose on her feet and laid a hand on Harley's shoulder.  
"I know you didn't do this for me. But still, I'm very grateful that you did it. You saved my life, no matter your intentions. So thank you. And if there is anything I can do for you, just let me know. But only if it feels right. Take care, Harley."

And after softly squeezing in Harley's shoulder, Kiwi turned around and walked away with a smile on her face.  
To stick with the theme of singing, she'd sung like a bird.  
And it all worked out better than expected.  
They would never be friends.  
But mutual respect was different than friendship.  
That's what she had accomplished just now.  
They respected each other.  
And that was enough.

Suddenly, Jax ran inside the infirmary and almost bumped into Kiwi.  
"Jesus, Jax, what…", but the silver-furred mouse was already on his way towards one of the doctors.  
"You need to come with me to the cells, on Stoker's order", he breathed as he clung on the white coat of the doc, who looked down on him a bit surprised.  
"Why? What's going on?"  
"It's my sister, she's going completely crazy, we need to sedate her before her heart gives out or something like that."  
The doc nodded.  
"Okay, let me go grab my stuff."  
But Jax didn't let him go.  
"There's no time, she needs help _now_!"  
"I know, Jax, but I can't sedate her without the sedatives, now can I?"  
"Right", Jax smiled a bit sheepishly and let him go.  
As the doc quickly rushed away, Kiwi walked over to Jax.  
"Everything okay?", she asked, even though it was obvious it wasn't.  
"No, it's my sister…", but before he could continue, the doc was already back and Jax gave Kiwi an apologetic look.  
"Sorry, need to go, I'll explain later, okay?"

Kiwi followed them with her eyes, her brain already searching for the connection to click.  
Since when did Jax have a sister?  
Why hadn't he mentioned her before?  
I mean, they had become good friends while working together on mission LITE.  
So this was kinda out of the blue.  
She almost felt offended by the fact he…  
Wait.  
_His sister?!  
_It suddenly clicked and her heart just dropped.  
Shit.  
His sister.  
He _did _mention her, even on the first day they met.  
Rose…  
But she was dead.  
Right?  
_Right?!_

Goosebumps spread across her body when she suddenly saw the image of the skinny and dirty female mouse who'd tried to kill her at her own wedding.  
Who shot Harley instead.  
My god.  
It all made sense now.  
Rose had come back for Vinnie.  
Shit…  
But it was anger that now suddenly rushed through her veins.  
_Unbelievable_.  
How many girls were going to try to steal her macho mouse away from her?  
It just didn't seem to end.  
Vinnie had told her he'd a reputation on Mars, honest as he was.  
But jesus, a _reputation_ was nothing more but an understatement here.  
This was _beyond_ crazy.  
He was hers, and hers alone.  
And she had enough of all the ghosts from the past who tried to come between them.  
She just wanted to share her life with him, was that so much to asked?  
Goddammit.  
Time to end this.  
And hissing of anger, Kiwi set a course for the cells, determined to fight for what's hers.  
For her future.

…

"P-p-pregnant?", Modo stuttered, his one eye wide open. Amira smiled and nodded.  
"Yeah. You're gonna be a father, hun. Like you always wanted."  
The grey-furred giant stared at her, somehow, he had a hard time processing the words.  
He was going to be a father.  
She was right, it was what he always wanted.  
And it still was.  
But…  
"How do we raise a child in the middle of a war?", he blurted out.  
Amira's eyes grew big, but then her face softened.  
Somehow, this didn't come as a big surprise.  
Modo was a responsible mouse, who always wanted the best for anybody.  
Especially for his child.  
She took his hand, his flesh hand, in hers.  
"Modo, I know what you're thinking, but trust me when I say that we'll find a way. I know it's far from ideal, but we can't stop living because we're in a war. We can't pause life till the moment we think it is right to press play again, because when that time is there, it's probably too late… Truth to be told, I didn't plan to get pregnant this fast, but it just happened. That kinda makes it meant to be, right?"  
Her words dawned upon him and Modo pulled her in his arms, still a bit shocked.  
"I'm sorry, I didn't wanna give you the feeling that I don't want this child. Oh, momma, words can't describe how happy I am. A baby… I'm going to be a father…", he babbled, clearly the news affected him deeply.  
Amira smiled lovingly.  
"And a good one too."

Suddenly, a knock on the door broke them out of their little bubble and before they could react, the door already opened.  
Neo appeared in the doorway with an apologetic look on his face.  
"I'm sorry to disturb you, Modo, but I need you in Braavos."  
Modo got upright and looked at Shaylon, who was still fast asleep in Vinnie's bed, luckily not woken by the noise.  
He then looked back at Neo, a little confused.  
"Why do you need me? What about Stoker? Or Throttle?"  
"They're having their hands full with a situation in the cells and this can't wait. Someone needs to hear this and that will be you."  
"What on Mars can be so urgent that you need me?"  
But Neo remained adamant.  
"Just come with me, you'll know soon enough."  
Modo looked at Amira, who smiled at him.  
"Go. I'll watch Shaylon."  
The grey-furred giant heaved a sigh, his head still spinning from the news Amira had told him just now.  
But again, there was no time to think, to celebrate.  
The war always came first, which was proven again today.  
He leaned forward and pressed a kiss on Amira's temple.  
"I'll be back as soon as I can."  
"I'll be waiting…"  
And after pulling on his hoodie, Modo followed Neo, his thoughts still miles away from the war.  
A baby.  
He was going to be a father.

_Oh, momma… if only you were here…_

…

Kiwi burst inside the room, just like Vinnie did only a short time ago, although she wasn't aware of that fact.  
Three surprised faces looked up at her, but Kiwi ignored them.  
She marched to the door and looked through the small window.  
Stoker and Jax were holding down the skinny and dirty female mouse, while the doc prepared himself to inject her with the sedatives.  
Rose was screaming bloody murder, and the two male mice were struggling to hold her down.  
Kiwi turned around and looked at Throttle, Carbine and Vinnie, her blue eyes fuming.  
"What the hell is going on here?"  
"Apparently, some sort of sideshow attraction", the tan-furred leader mumbled a bit annoyed, for Kiwi was now the second uninvited guest on this not so pleasant party.  
But deep down he understood both Vinnie and Kiwi.  
Why they were here.  
It had been their wedding that was brutally interrupted, after all.  
And it was Kiwi who had been the target in the first place.  
"I'm not here to sightsee! I know it's Rose who's in that room and I came here to tell her to back off! I've had it with all the girls who are trying to steal my macho mouse away from me, so this time I will…"  
Vinnie's tail lashed through the air and whirled around her waist. Before she could finish her sentence, she was already sitting on Vinnie's lap and he wrapped his arms around her.  
"Sweetheart, how I love that little feisty side of yours, it's such a turn on... However, this time, there's more to it. Our fearless leader over here just told me that Rose is connected to me, but it's a one-way thingy. Apparently, that makes her a little… _crazy_ in the head. Stoker can break the connection and then all will go back to the way it was. No biggie, so breathe, doll."  
"That's a very… _brief _description, but yeah, that about covers it… Stoker is about to start, as soon as she's out, that is", Throttle added when he saw Kiwi's confused face.  
The human girl blinked a few times, but before she had the chance to react, they all noticed how quiet it was all of a sudden.

Carbine rose on her feet and looked through the small window.  
"She's asleep."  
Throttle joined her, and saw how Stoker's antenna's started to glow red as he leaned closer to Rose, who now lay on her back, while Jax and the doc stayed close in case she would wake up.  
"You think this is gonna work?", Carbine whispered.  
Throttle gently took her hand and their fingers entwined.  
"It's gotta be. If not, I'm not sure what we can do to save her…", the tan-furred mouse whispered back, rubbing her finger with his thumb.  
Carbine's stomach tied in a knot for she knew Throttle was right.  
Rose had tried to kill Kiwi, a now respected Freedom Fighter.  
Harley took the hit, another respected Freedom Fighter.  
If Stoker's plan wasn't gonna work, there was nothing they could do for Rose.  
Not anymore.  
Because if Stoker couldn't prove that she wasn't exactly right in the head when she committed her crimes, there was only one sentence for attempted murder and treason.  
And that was death.

…

"Are you sure?", Modo demanded as he placed his hands on the desk and leaned forward to the screen.  
Neo was right.  
This was something he needed to hear.  
"Affirmative, sir. We saw it with our own eyes. The Plutarkians are gone", the young black-furred scout answered calmly.  
"But… but that means…", Modo stuttered as he slowly sank into the chair behind him, not able to say more.  
The scout gave him a firm nod, still dead serious and filled in the part Modo couldn't.  
"That means that the war is over, sir."


	16. Chapter 16

Hey you guys...

Oh my god, this update took me like, forever!  
And I'm so, so sorry!

I know where I wanna go with this story, but I got stuck in the details and it blocked about everything.  
But finally, I had the brainwave I so desperately needed and here we are.

Anyway, thanks for the reviews, especially for the last one, since that triggered my brain to come up with this chapter.  
For those who have reviewed Breaking The Habit, if you read this; thanks!  
Really appreciate it.

And now, on with the story!  
Enjoy! ^^

* * *

**Chapter 16**

"I'm not buying it. Not for a single moment", Vinnie told his friends as he looked at the HQ of the Plutarkians with his arms folded, his tail sweeping back and forth, giving away his unease.  
"You're only saying that because you don't remember how it's like to live in peace", Modo contradicted, also staring at the building that as far as he could tell was, indeed, deserted.  
The white-furred mouse grinded his teeth in annoyance, for his older bro was right.  
As fucked up as it was, he had no idea how to live a life without having a war raging around him. Truth to be told, it scared him more than he liked to admit.  
But no way that he was going to say that out loud.  
"And _you_ are only saying that because you desperately hold on to a world where everything is all happy happy joy joy, so you can settle down, go fishing every day and have an army of kids. But that ain't my life, bro. Simply because I don't believe in it. It doesn't exist. Something ain't right."

"What are you saying, Vincent?", Throttle asked while using his helmet to zoom in on the building.  
"I'm saying that this is a trap. It's too easy."  
"Maybe Eguzkia is finally on our side for once, punk", Stoker pointed out, rubbing his chin as he leaned back on his bike.  
"Ha, right. Like I believe that. She wasn't here when we needed her the most, so fuck Eguzkia."  
"_Vinnie is right, guys. I don't trust this. It doesn't feel right"_, Kiwi's voice came over the speakers.  
"I dunno… Maybe we're being too paranoid. I mean, we knew we were close to winning the war, right? Maybe they gave up, finally knowing that they will never have Mars", Carbine mused.  
"Ugh, come on! Winning, dying, we all do that in a blaze of glory, no exception! They can't just leave like this! Not without a grande finale!", Vinnie protested, sounding more panicked than he wanted.  
But the thing was, this whole thing made him more than just nervous.  
What if they were really gone?  
Just like that?  
That would mean no more fighting, no more unexpected occurrences, no more distractions, no more Vinnie van Victory...  
_No more pain, no more death..._

"Easy now, adrenaline mouse. We still don't know what is going on here", Throttle tried to calm down his young bro, but as usual, the effect was counterproductive.  
"Let's find out then."  
And before anyone could stop him, the white-furred mouse was already gone.  
"_Vinnie, stop! You said it yourself, it's a trap!", _Kiwi tried to stop her beloved macho mouse, but not even she could get through to him.  
"So? Like that's gonna stop me. It never did, so why now?"  
Throttle shook his head and shared a look with Stoker before closing his visor.  
There was only one thing to do.  
"Vinnie, wait up. We're coming with you."  
And with roaring engines, the group followed the distressed white-furred mouse, some with hope, some with suspicion, some with both.

Vinnie was the first one to reach the building and he hit the brakes as he opened his visor to sniff the air, searching for a clue that this was an ambush.  
But the air was fresh, almost like it had been before the war and goosebumps spread across his body.  
This wasn't happening, right?  
Not like this.  
As he jumped off his bike, he noticed that his legs were a bit shaky and he clenched his teeth.  
This was crazy.  
_Beyond _crazy.  
Why was he panicking about peace?  
That was like the definition of uncool and besides, wasn't that where he'd fought for, all this time?  
Where he'd risked his life for, over and over again?  
_Freedom_.  
All he ever wanted was freedom.  
And now he was about to get it and all he could do was panicking.  
Because he had no idea how to handle it.  
How to live a life in peace.  
How stupid was that?  
Next to pathetic.  
_Ugh._

When the group reached him, Throttle stopped next to Vinnie and laid a hand on his shoulder.  
The young mouse looked up at him, his ruby-red eyes filled with despair and confusion, but the tan-furred mouse only gave him a small nod, to tell his young bro that he understood.  
That he knew what was going on right now and that it was okay.  
Soon, a certain calmness washed over Vinnie.  
It didn't take away the panic, but it at least made it a bit more bearable and the white-furred mouse let out his breath as his muscles started to relax.  
After giving him a warm smile, Throttle looked at Stoker, waiting for orders.

The brown-furred leader of the resistance rubbed his temples in an attempt to ease his pounding headache, the one that had popped up right after taking a Mind Walk through Rose's mind, but it didn't make it better.  
A good night sleep was all that would, but there was no time.  
There never was.  
Well, maybe soon, there would be and he let out his breath.  
"Let's split up. Throttle, you, Modo and the punk take this side of the building. Carbine, you're with me. You too, Kiwi", he added over the radio.  
"_Copy that"_, the human girl answered and the drone now floated near Carbine's head, much to the light-grey-furred female's annoyance.  
"Get that thing out of my face", she snapped while waving a hand as if she tried to slap away a fly and the drone took a bit more distance in response.  
"_Sorry."_

Stoker looked at Throttle, somehow feeling proud at who the tan-furred mouse had become.  
A good leader.  
Wise.  
Patient.  
Calm.  
_Okay…  
_This kind of came out of the blue.  
Even for him.  
This whole thing made him more sentimental than was realistic.  
He still had no idea if this was the end he so desperately yearned for, for Vinnie could be right.  
Although he hoped not for many obvious reasons.  
Still.  
It could be a trap.  
Therefore, he needed to keep his head in the game.  
And so he did.  
"Check in every five minutes, okay rookie? We meet in the middle."  
"Got it. Come on, bro's. Let's find out what the hell is going on here."  
And after giving Carbine a quick kiss, the tan-furred mouse pulled the door open and disappeared in the dark, followed by his bro's.  
"Be careful, Throttle…", Carbine whispered before following Stoker to the other side of the building, the drone flying with them on a safe distance this time.

**_..._**

"Is Rose gonna be okay?", Modo asked as they made their way through the hallway, checking every room they encountered.  
Throttle shrugged while looking into the room on his right, which was empty, he soon found out.  
"I guess we'll find out when she wakes up."  
Modo nodded in response, contemplating if he needed to tell his bro's that Amira was pregnant, but he wasn't sure if this was the right time.  
It _only_ seemed to be the right time if this whole thing was a trap, because who knew what would happen if it was and he felt a certain sadness by the thought alone that his bro's would die without knowing this unexpected but great news.  
But his guts told him that it wasn't a trap.  
Or perhaps he just _hoped_ it wasn't.  
Vinnie was right, he truly believed in a peaceful world.  
There was nothing he wanted more right now.  
To just be able to breathe.  
To be free.  
They all deserved that, especially after everything they all had been through.  
So, maybe his hope for this peaceful life was blurring his vision, stopping him from seeing things the way they were.  
But was that really a bad thing?  
He thought it wasn't.  
Having hope was all that kept him going.  
To stay on his feet.

Not to mention that he was going to be a father.  
He would do anything to make sure that his child was going to grow up in a peaceful world.  
To protect him or her from the pain and misery that came with war.  
To protect him or her from being damaged.  
Because they all were.  
Especially Vinnie, a thing that became painfully clear again by seeing his distress.  
The poor guy had no idea how the handle the prospect of a quiet and peaceful life and knowing him, he was probably convinced that he needed the war to feel alive.  
Maybe he did.  
They were all living in this mess for so long now.  
Even Modo found it hard to remember how things were before all this.  
All he knew was that it was peaceful.  
Filled with love.  
It was blurry though.  
Nothing more but a vague memory, overshadowed by death itself.  
He also knew that there was nothing he could say or do to take away Vinnie's unease, so he didn't even try and focussed his attention back on their task, namely; searching the building.

The very same building that carried so many memories, all bad.  
The building where he got his arm, where Throttle got his eyes, where Vinnie got his PTSD…  
_That_ building.  
Which now felt empty.  
Dead.  
Almost serene.  
As if it was cleansed of all evil.  
Still, the grey-furred giant decided that it wasn't the place to tell his friends about the pregnancy.  
Not here.  
Not in this place where their world had stopped spinning that awful day.  
Not even something beautiful like new life could beat the darkness they had seen while being captured here.  
Nothing could.  
So, he kept his mouth shut and continued his search, but still with his mind miles away.  
Almost praying for this rumor to be true.  
_Freedom.  
_It had never been this close.  
He could only hope it wouldn't slip through their furry fingers again.  
Not now it was so close that he could taste it and by the Gods, he really tasted something sweet.  
Hope.  
Hope was all he needed.

_**…**_

Meanwhile, Carbine and Stoker silently wandered through the empty hallways with the drone zooming closeby and the former General glanced at the brown-furred mouse next to her, who was awfully quiet.  
Since this wasn't a conversation she wanted Kiwi to witness, Carbine turned to the drone.  
"Kiwi, you fly ahead and check the right part of the building. We'll catch up."  
"_Copy that_", and the drone disappeared in the hallway on their right, taking its annoying zooming sound with it and Carbine heaved a sigh in relief as she muted the small microphone from the radio inside her helmet, telling Stoker he needed to do the same.  
The brown-furred mouse gave her a questionable look, but did what he was told.  
"What did you see?", Carbine asked point-blank.  
Stoker gave her another confused look in response, but Carbine suspected him from knowing perfectly well what she was referring to.  
"Rose. You haven't said a word since you left that room. Was it that bad?"  
"This hardly seems the place to talk about that, Carbine", Stoker answered shortly and opened a door on his left, only to see another empty room.  
"Hey, we're walking straight into an ambush for all I know. So the way I see it, it's the perfect place to tell me what you've seen."

When Stoker didn't answer, Carbine sighed and grabbed his arm to stop him.  
"Listen, I need to know, okay? She's my niece, and next to Jax the only family I've left. So, just tell me. I can handle it, no matter how bad it is."  
"It's not necessarily bad, more like crazy and I haven't decided yet whether it's just me seeing things or that it's actually true", Stoker eventually answered a bit evasive and Carbine rolled her eyes in annoyance.  
"Stop talking in riddles and just tell me already. I can decide for myself if it's crazy or not."  
She already realized how sharp her tone of voice was even before the brown-furred mouse gave her a meaningful look and she bit on her tongue.  
She didn't mean to sound so angry all the time, even if she was.  
But Stoker didn't deserve to be targeted, not after everything he had done for her.  
So, she took a deep breath to calm herself down and gave her mentor and friend a pleading, but sincere look.  
"Please. I need to know."  
"You're gonna make fun of me, I just know it."  
"I won't. I promise."

Stoker ran a hand through his hair as he heaved a sigh before looking Carbine straight in the eye.  
"I think that Vinnie is the reincarnation of Rose's deceased brother."  
Carbine stared at him for a while before bursting into laughter, despite her promise.  
But this was crazy, even for Stoker and she just couldn't stop herself.  
Much to Stoker's annoyance.  
"See, I told ya. This is why I didn't wanna tell. I just knew you were gonna react like this", the brown-furred mouse grumbled as he walked away, clearly she had bruised his ego.  
"Oh, Stoker, come on! Don't be like this. You've gotta admit that this sounds ridiculous", Carbine called after him, but he ignored her and she now felt a pang of guilt.  
So, she quickly followed him and blocked his way.  
"I'm sorry, okay? It's just… well, this was the last thing I expected, but still, I shouldn't have laughed. I'm sorry", she apologized while looking up at him from under her lashes.  
Stoker sighed when he saw her puppy-eyes.  
"Okay, fine. Let's just forget it ever happened and move on, before the punk finds something first. I'm not in the mood to deal with him rubbing in my face that he was right all along."

As he walked further, Carbine followed him with his eyes.  
Even though her initial reaction was one in disbelief, she couldn't stop herself from wondering what had made him come to this crazy conclusion.  
So, after a moment of searching the rooms in silence, she opened her mouth again.  
"What makes you think that Vinnie is Finn's... you know what?"  
Somehow, she couldn't say the word out loud, probably because she was still having a hard time believing this.  
A _very_ hard time, actually.  
But she couldn't deny the fact that her curiosity was piqued as well.  
Stoker opened a few drawers and pretended to be interested in the content before answering her question.  
"It's hard to explain, actually. But her connection with him felt different. Stronger than a love connection and, as far as I know, there is only one bond stronger than love."  
"Family", Carbine said softly and Stoker nodded.  
"Twins, to be exact. Look, it's just a guess. Vinnie is born in the same year as Rose and if I've got my facts straight, only a few minutes after Finn died. When I saw Rose, how far gone she was, along with the story Jax told me about her brother, my guts told me there was more to it, even more than the whole broken twin concept. That feeling grew even bigger when I crawled inside her head, because the connection was almost impossible to break, which is weird if we're just talking about a love connection here. This is more than just love."  
"But did it work? Did you manage to break it?"  
"I think so, yes. But we know for sure when she wakes up."

Carbine nodded as she processed his words, but it was a lot to take in.  
"So you think that when Finn died, his soul searched for another body and that happened to be… Vinnie's?", she asked a bit hesitant.  
"Something like that. Twin souls are different than others. They always need another half to feel whole, to feel… complete, so it isn't a strange thought that Finn searched for another twin to be part of. I think that's the reason why Rose's soul clicked with Vinnie's as soon as she laid eyes on him. Because that's how it was initially meant to be."  
"But why didn't Vinnie's soul click with Rose's?"  
"Maybe because he didn't need her the way she needed him… Or maybe, in the end, it wasn't meant to be. Look, I truly believe that everything happens for a reason, so did Finn's death. There must be a reason why the universe wanted to let Rose walk alone."  
"What reason?"  
"Beats me, to be honest", Stoker snickered sheepishly.  
"There are so many things we don't understand."

Carbine bit her lower lip and looked at Stoker.  
"Still… It kind of makes sense, you know? I'm not sure why, but it just feels… _logic_."  
"I know, right? I had the same feeling after taking that Mind Walk. Ah well, we'll probably never know exactly what happened. All I know for sure is that I did everything within my power to set Rose free from her demons. I can only hope it worked."  
"I'm sure it did."  
"We'll see, and I hope we do. Come on, we need to hurry", and Stoker continued his search, followed by Carbine.  
Who was still deep in thought, praying for Rose.  
For her niece.  
If this didn't work, there was nothing she could do to save her.  
Maybe that's why Stoker's explanation made sense, somehow.  
Because she was clearly powerless here.  
There was nothing she could do to help Rose.  
Nothing.  
And she _hated _it.  
Therefore, she clung to every other person who could.  
Everything was better than to feel completely powerless, no matter how crazy the theory was.  
As long as it could help Rose, it was good.

**_…_**

As they came closer to the center of the building, Vinnie's distress grew and grew and not only because they were approaching the lab where Jester had broken his soul.  
No, as they wandered through the building, it became more and more clear that it was deserted, for there wasn't a single clue that the fish were still here, hiding, waiting to jump on them.  
When the white-furred mouse walked into _another_ empty room, he let out a growl in frustration.  
"Goddammit, show yourself, you cowards! I _know _you're here! So come out and fight like a man instead of hiding like the weak fish you pretend not to be!"  
"I dunno, Vin, it seems like they're really gone…", Modo told his youngest bro as he too walked into the room and he opened the closet in the corner, as if it was able to hide an entire army.  
"This ain't Narnia, for fuck sake", Vinnie snapped at him as he pushed the grey-furred giant aside and closed the doors with a loud bang.  
"Hey, a mouse can dream, right?", Modo responded imperturbably as he already continued his way, soon followed by a very agitated white-furred mouse.

Throttle joined them and together, they walked to the door that led to the lab.  
Well, there was supposed to be a door, but a certain white-furred adrenaline junkie had blown it up during their latest rescue mission.  
Throttle glanced at the very same certain mouse, to see how he was handling the fact that they were about to walk into the lab, but Vinnie was too riled up to notice.  
"This ain't right, goddammit. This ain't how you end a war. You don't just disappear into nothingness. Honestly, I fucking hate my life right now", he muttered under his breath, his fur bristled and exaggerating as usual.  
The tan-furred mouse wasn't sure whether it was the fact that the Plutarkians were gone without giving him one last fight that made him this upset or simply because he had no idea what to expect if it turned out that the war was really over.  
He suspected the latter, and he had to admit, even he felt a bit uncomfortable by all this.  
Still, he would be more than happy if this was the end of all misery.  
That would mean that they had survived and that they were safe now.  
But as mentioned before, this was easy, _too_ easy and not how he'd pictured it all this time, not even close.  
Therefore, he shared Vinnie's worries.  
Then again, maybe the war had made him a bit too paranoid.  
Who knew?  
There wasn't really that much left for the fish to transport to Plutark, given the fact that the war had turned the once beautiful planet called Mars into a carcass.  
And after their last fight, the Plutarkian army was seriously depleted.  
So why stay?  
Why don't take your losses and get the hell out of here?  
He would, if this planet wasn't his home.  
But it was.  
And it always will be.  
No matter how broken it was.

They walked into the lab at the same time Stoker and Carbine did.  
"And?", Throttle asked when they came together, even though he already knew the answer.  
Stoker shrugged as he looked around him.  
"Nothing. It seems to be deserted, which means that they're really gone."  
"Why does everyone make it sound like that's a bad thing? This is good, right? This means that the war is over", Carbine interfered, even though she felt the same suspiciousness but she tried to be optimistic for once.  
One was never too old to try something new.  
"Sure. Now all we need to do is rebuilt", Stoker added tiredly, squeezing the bridge of his nose.  
"He's right. The war might be over, but there's still a lot of work to do", Throttle agreed with his mentor.  
"But we'll be safe, right? Isn't that what counts the most?", Modo contradicted.  
"Who wants to be safe? Safe is _boring", _Vinnie spat out, but the group ignored him.  
Nothing new.

So, as they were trying to figure out what their next move would be, Vinnie broke from the group and made his way towards the room where he'd lost about everything.  
He wasn't sure why, but he felt this unexplainable need to take a look inside the room, which was weird, for he usually ran away from his pain, preferably as far as possible.  
Hearing the zooming sound of the drone, he knew Kiwi followed him and despite his bad mood, his lips curled into a small smile.  
Always so helpful, his Kiwi.  
And she knew him just too well.  
"_Are you sure you wanna do this?"  
_"No", he answered, but he still didn't stop and before he knew it, he was already standing at the door with his hand on the doorknob.  
"_Maybe you shouldn't go in there… I mean, what if it triggers too much?"  
_"But what if it doesn't?"  
"_Hm. Fair point."  
_"I know."  
"_My my, that ego of yours…"  
_"You love it."  
"_I do, strangely enough."  
_"I know, sweetheart."

But despite his bravado towards Kiwi, Vinnie felt his heart almost exploding out of his chest by only standing at this door.  
The door to hell.  
He was somehow scared to open it, but going back wasn't an option either.  
_Come on, it's just a room.  
__Nothing more, nothing less.  
_So, after taking a deep breath, he turned the doorknob and with a soft click, the door opened.  
But instead of going inside, Vinnie kept staring at his feet.  
He needed a little time to scrape every bit of courage he owned together, if only to look inside the room where his life had changed forever.  
Softly and without any warning, he heard Jester's soft humming in his head and sweat already streamed down his back.  
Every cell in his body screamed that he needed to get the hell out of here, to run away and never look back.  
But he didn't.  
In fact, he even raised his head and looked inside the room.  
The room from which he'd thought he would never see again.  
Well, at least he'd _hoped_ that he wouldn't.  
It looked different than he remembered though.  
Less… _scary_.  
Perhaps it had been Jester's presence that had made it feel like hell itself.

He took a few steps forward as his ruby-red eyes wandered through the room, along the moldy walls, the bloodstains on the floor and eventually, his gaze landed on the table in the middle of the room.  
The black leather cushions.  
The with blood-stained leather belts.  
The rusty base.  
The humming in his head became louder and nausea pressed against his windpipe, making breathing difficult all of a sudden.  
The panic he'd felt the moment he'd heard that the war might be over was now threatening to overwhelm him and his legs almost gave out.  
But then there was Kiwi.  
His reason and his life.  
His savior.  
"_Easy now, Vin. Breathe. Just breathe. You're safe. No one is gonna hurt you."_

He tried.  
He really tried.  
But even if it had seemed to be a good idea to go in here, he now wished he hadn't.  
It brought back too many memories.  
Too much pain.  
Too much horror.  
If he had to be honest, it was still too much for him to bear.  
Coming here was clearly a mistake.  
"_Breathe, love, breathe."  
_Jester's humming now overruled the beautiful sound of her voice and Vinnie fell on his knees, ripping off his helmet in the process so he could cover his ears.  
"Stop…"  
But the sound only became louder and louder.  
"Please, stop…"

"_Oh, oh, oh, you... you silly you... I'm only trying to help you."_

The pain was back.  
As if the right side of his face was on fire.  
It was unbearable.  
This wasn't real.  
This wasn't happening.  
This was just a sick game his brain played with him in order to deal with the immense trauma.  
He knew, and yet, it felt so real.  
As if he was back.  
Back to that horrible day.  
That day when Jester broke his spirit.

"_Easy now, mousie. Things will be okay!"_

It was crazy how this all still affected him.  
Here he was, lying helplessly on the floor, begging for it to stop.  
So _weak.  
_It made him furious all of a sudden.  
"Shut _up_!", Vinnie screamed as he hit the floor with clenched fists.  
"They will _NOT_ be okay, goddammit! I will _NEVER_ be okay! Thanks to you! So _STOP_ pretending that it's okay what you did to me because it's _NOT_!"  
His voice echoed against the walls and when the last tone slowly faded, Vinnie opened his eyes, breathing heavily.  
The humming was gone.  
The pain in his face was gone.  
He was still shaking and tears still streamed down his face, but he was alone again.

"_Vinnie? Vinnie, are you okay?", _he heard Kiwi's voice in the distance and he looked around him a bit dazed, rubbing away his tears with the sleeve of his hoodie.  
But just when he wanted to grab his helmet to put it back on so he could answer her, he froze again.  
Something wasn't right here.  
Something was different.  
Or was it because he didn't remember it right?  
Did trauma cloud his memory?  
No.  
That crate hadn't been there.  
And now it was.  
Still too shaky to stand up, he crawled to the black box in the corner, the one that wasn't there in his memory.  
"_Vinnie, please, talk to me."  
_But the white-furred mouse ignored her as he reached out a trembling hand, his stomach already tied in a knot again.  
Something was wrong.  
Very wrong.  
Slowly, he took off the lid and when he saw what was inside, his eyes grew big.  
"Uh oh…"

**_…_**

Meanwhile, in Braavos, Kiwi almost crept into her screen, her heart pounding in her chest.  
"What do you mean, _'uh_ _oh'_? What the hell is going on, Vinnie?", she demanded, sounding way more hysteric than she wanted.  
But seeing him like this just broke her heart and all she wanted right now was to pull him in her arms.  
To hold him.  
To tell him that everything was going to be okay.  
That his fears were far behind him.  
But she couldn't, simply because she wasn't physically there.  
And now, something seemed to be wrong and all she could do was watch.  
"Come on, grab your helmet and talk to me, goddammit!"

He didn't though.  
Her eyes followed him every movement as she clung to the table in fear.  
She saw how he scrambled back on his feet.  
How he stumbled to the door.  
How he yelled something to the others, something she couldn't hear since he was too far away from the radio.  
"Vinnie, what…"  
But suddenly, a loud bang almost blew up her eardrums and she reflexively ripped the headphone off of her head while her heart made few backflips, so did her stomach.  
She looked back at the screen with her blue eyes wide open, but only to see a flash of light before it became black.  
For a moment, she was too shocked to react and she just stared at the screen, her entire body tensed.  
But then, sheer panic suddenly rushed through her veins, spreading it like wildfire and she started to pound on the keyboard like some kind of maniac in an attempt to get back visual, even though she already knew that it was pointless.  
But she had to try.  
She had to do… _something_.  
She was willing to do anything to stop this pain from entering her body.

It was then when two silver-furred hands grabbed hers and her first reaction was one in anger.  
Well, more like pure fury.  
"_LET ME GO_! I need to fix this, goddammit, so let me go! I can fix this!", she yelled almost hysterically, hardly recognizing her own voice.  
Not that she cared right now.  
It did scare her though.  
But why didn't he just let her go?  
She could fix this and she would, if he just...  
"There's nothing you can do, Kiwi. They're gone…"  
Jax's words crawled through her head like spiders.  
_They're gone…  
__They're gone…  
__They're…  
__...gone…_

"_NO_! No, they're not! He would _never _leave me! Not like this!", she cried with breaking voice as she still tried to get her hands free, but Jax didn't let go.  
In fact, he even pulled the struggling and hysterical human girl in a tight hug, tears burning behind his eyes.  
"I'm sorry, Kiwi. I'm so, so sorry…"  
"No, no, no, no, don't say that. He's fine! He's fine", Kiwi sobbed, still trying to push him away, but her attempts became weaker and weaker as an unbearable pain crawled into her body.  
A pain that crushed her soul, quickly and without remorse.  
"He's fine, I'm sure… He would… He's just... Oh god, Vinnie…"  
Only saying his name was enough for her to just break and instead of pushing him away, she now clung to Jax, holding him as if he was her lifeline that stopped her from drowning.  
But she was already drowning.  
And the sad truth was that nothing could save her now.  
Not anymore.

"No, Vinnie, please… please, come back to me…. please… don't leave me… all alone..."  
She almost choked in her heartache and deep down, she realized that she'd never felt a pain so heavy such as this one.  
Not even when her parents died.  
It made her even more distraught.  
Scared.  
Because it could only mean one thing and it all had to with their connection.  
A connection, created from love…  
Now brutally broken.  
Ripped apart.  
To never heal again.

* * *

Oh my, whatta cliffhanger.  
Please don't kill me XD

I aim to update this story more often now, but I can't make any promises.  
It kind of depends on my moods, which aren't exactly stable, hehe.  
But trust me when I say that I'll do my best!

Feel free to leave a review and till next time, my loyal readers.  
Later!


	17. Chapter 17

Hey you guys...

Thank you so much for the reviews, I'm really happy to see that you're still with me, even after the long wait on the previous chapter.

Next to that, I don't have much to tell, so on with the story.  
Feel free to leave a review after you've finished this chapter, but as usual, no pressure. :)

Later dudes!

* * *

**Chapter 17**

_One year later…_

Kiwi closed her eyes when a soft breeze went through her black hair, making the untamable bangs waving over her shoulders.  
The sun was low in the sky, shining down on her without burning her alive, a somehow refreshing sensation.  
As she took in the almost comforting warmth, the sound of a few birds singing their song in the distance reached her ears.  
It was a sound she didn't recognize, for the birds here sounded different than on Earth.  
Still, all this together made it feel as if she was back home, in the first days of spring.  
As if she woke up from hibernation after the cold and dark days from winter, a season she hated to the core.  
And now, with her eyes closed and a little bit of imagination, Mars felt like home for the first time since she set foot on this planet.  
Even the air smelled the same.  
Fresh.  
Devoid of death.

Slowly and somehow reluctant, she opened her eyes again and took in the sight.  
Standing on the balcony of her room, she had a perfect view over the entire base.  
The Freedom Fighter base, that had never looked this peaceful.  
No guards on the high walls that surrounded the place.  
The big and almost indestructible doors of the only entrance now wide open, to be -hopefully- never closed again.  
The big courtyard, that used to be the training zone for young Fighters, now transformed into some sort of park.  
She wasn't the only one who was outside to enjoy the gorgeous low sun and her gaze wandered over the residents of the base.  
Some of them were lying lazily in the warm red sand, reading a book or taking a nap.  
Others had settled down on one the benches, talking with each other while the youngsters of the group were practicing their wrestling techniques.  
It was like a whole new world.  
Peace was peaceful  
_Refreshing_.

Heaving a sigh, Kiwi rested her head in her hands as her gaze landed on Amira and despite everything, a small smile appeared on her rosy face.  
The young Martian biologist was playing peek-a-boo with the cutest little mouse ever born and the sight alone warmed up her cold heart.  
Rose was sitting next to her, also with a big smile on her face while looking at Modo's son, who now had the giggles because of Amira pulling weird faces at him.  
The wind carried the sound all the way up and the human girl closed her eyes again, for a moment listening to the sound of pure innocence.  
The sound of a baby laughing was almost magical, able to give hope to those who were lost.  
But not to Kiwi.

Hearing Mika laugh made her sad, actually.  
In fact, it made her even sadder than she already was and her smile vanished like smoke in the wind as she opened her eyes again.  
It didn't take long before her vision got blurry and shortly thereafter, a tear left her right eye and slowly rolled down her cheek.  
Without taking the effort to wipe it away, she stared at the little boy lying in the sand.  
She somehow envied him, for he still had his whole life ahead of him.  
He was still pure.  
Full of love.  
Unconditional love.  
For now, that is.  
It wouldn't take long before the world would put a mark on him.  
One day.  
But for now, this particular cruel world was quite calm.

Peace was peaceful.  
Quiet.  
Lonely, too.  
This wasn't how she had pictured it, at all.  
She had thought there would be happiness.  
A lot of happiness.  
But there wasn't.  
At least, not for her.  
Another tear left her eye, this time the left one.  
But again, she didn't wipe it away.  
What was the point?  
Another tear would soon follow its predecessor, simply because that was all she could do these days.  
Crying.  
She somehow couldn't stop crying.  
Not since that day.

A warm hand on her shoulder broke her out of her trance and she looked up, suddenly overwhelmed by the hope that it was him.  
But it wasn't.  
Of course, it wasn't.  
"Oh, hey, Throttle", she sniffed, trying her very best to hide her disappointment but she failed miserably.  
The tan-furred mouse gave her a warm and comforting smile as he gently squeezed her shoulder, to let her know that he understood.  
She knew he did.  
He always did.  
Where would she be without him?  
Even more lost, that she knew.  
He was her rock in these desperate times.  
Her guide.  
Her guardian.  
Her friend.

Kiwi glanced at him out of the corner of her eyes, seeing him leaning on the side of the balcony with folded arms.  
If she had to guess, he was looking at the same sight she had been looking at only a few seconds ago now, but it was hard to tell because of his glasses.  
The tan-colored crest between his big ears danced in the soft breeze and she noticed again how calm he was.  
He was like an oasis of calmness and she was grateful that he was.  
Steady like a rock.  
Caring like a mother lion.  
Protective like a watchdog.  
Her blue eyes landed on the scar on the right side of his nose.  
It had healed nicely but still, every time she laid her eyes on it, she immediately felt sick to the stomach.  
Today was no different, so she quickly looked back at the adorable sight down in the courtyard.

"It's heartwarming, isn't it?", the male mouse broke the silence, his husky voice soft.  
Almost whispering.  
The tone in his voice gave away so much sadness and Kiwi swallowed with difficulty, pushing back her tears before she trusted her voice enough to respond to this question that was actually more of a statement.  
"It is. I just… I just wish he was here to see it…"  
Her voice was soft too.  
Fragile.  
Just like she was.  
Throttle shifted his weight and she could almost feel the pain radiating from his body without even looking at him.  
This was still a very painful subject for him, after all, and who could blame him?  
But he was here.  
He would never run away from his pain.  
He was here.  
Thank the Mothers of Mars he was.  
Without him, she was lost.

After another deafening silence, he cleared his throat.  
"He would've loved it."  
Again, Kiwi swallowed away her tears, for she simply didn't have the energy to cry.  
Not anymore.  
It brought her nothing.  
Not even relief.  
Her blue eyes caught some movement down on her right and she looked down as she prepared herself to speak again.  
"It's everything he fought for", she whispered eventually as her eyes followed Modo, who crossed the courtyard to his little family.  
He was still a bit limping, still getting used to his new bionic leg, even after all these months of practicing.  
At least he could walk again.  
"It just breaks my heart to know that he's never going to see it", she added, her voice already breaking again.

Her gaze was still fixated on the grey-furred giant, who now reached his family.  
Mika immediately reached out his little hands to him and Modo gently lifted him, planting a kiss on his little head before throwing him in the air, much to Mika's joy.  
"Somehow, I've got the feeling that he knows. That he's looking down on us with a smile from ear to ear. At the same time, I realize how childish this sounds, perhaps even naive. But frankly, it's what keeps me going."  
Kiwi reached out her hand and laid it on his.  
"It's not childish, Throttle. It's hope. There's nothing wrong with hope…"  
If only she believed that herself.

Throttle turned his head towards Kiwi as she pulled back her hand, already looking down again with that agonizing look on her face.  
The one that was there ever since that day, the one that never left.  
Her pain was excruciating and he had to admit, he was really worried about her.  
She just didn't seem to be able to deal with all this.  
Her strength, the one he had always admired, nowhere to be found.  
Which was, unfortunately, completely understandable.  
They took a hard hit, that day.  
That awful day.  
The hardest in history.

Even he had still nightmares about it, having a hard time dealing with the consequences of an ill-timed moment of hope.  
Hope for peace.  
He could've known that peace would come with a bitter aftertaste.  
And here they were.  
Broken by war.  
A meaningless war.  
And not even peace could ease their troubled minds.  
But even though he had his demons, that didn't mean he couldn't be there for Kiwi.  
And so he was.  
She needed him, now more than ever.  
Because at this point, she had no one else.  
Not really.

"How are you holding up, Kiwi?"  
Perhaps it was a stupid question.  
Well, scratch _'perhaps'_.  
It _was _a stupid question.  
But he wanted her to know that he was here for her.  
That he would always be here for her.  
She was like his little sister.  
_Family.  
_He never let family down.  
No exceptions.  
The human girl shrugged in return, avoiding his look by staring at her folded hands.  
"They say it takes time."  
She then looked up to him, her blue eyes watery, brimming with despair.  
"But no one ever tells me how much time…"

Her pain was like a knife.  
It cut through his soul without mercy and he just grabbed her by the shirt and pulled her in his arms.  
As he rested his chin on her head, he looked down again to the, how he liked to call it, Garden of Hope.  
Just in time to see Carbine join the small group.  
His bionic eyes followed her every movement, how she sat down next to a fully recovered Rose, talking animatedly about something he couldn't hear.  
It wasn't important though.  
All that mattered to him was that she was finally free.  
To see her like this was enough to soften his pain, to make it bearable, simply because she was happy.  
Finally, she was happy and she deserved it.  
She had suffered enough, after all.  
Then again, didn't they all?  
And yet here he was, holding a heartbroken and fragile little human in his arms.  
A human who deserved to be happy too, just as much as Carbine and the rest, especially after everything she had been through.  
But it didn't seem to be granted to her.  
And it broke his already broken heart.

Kiwi buried her face in his sweater, sniffing up his scent, but it was hardly the same.  
And before she knew it, she already burst into tears again.  
God, she wished she could turn back time.  
To just go back and erase that awful day.  
Things would be so much different if that day just vanished into nothingness, to never be remembered again.  
But that was impossible.  
That would be like magic.  
And magic reminded her of fairy tales.  
She didn't believe in fairy tales, not anymore.  
There was no happily ever after.  
It simply didn't exist.  
She knew now.  
Her brain was kind enough to remind her, every single day, by forcing her to relive that day.  
Over and over again.  
_  
They say it takes time.  
_She wanted to believe that.  
She really did.  
But she wasn't sure how long she was able to hold on.  
To give it the time it needed.  
She was slipping away, she just knew it, and there was only one person who could save her.  
One she couldn't save for herself.

**_Flashback…_**

This wasn't real.  
This wasn't happening.  
Those two sentences kept repeating in her head, banging against the inside of her skull while she just sat there, leaning against the wall with her legs pulled up, holding herself tightly because no one else could.  
Her blue eyes were fixated on the screen, which was still as black as the night.  
The longer she stared at it, the more the object became somehow important to her, for it was this very device on which she had seen him for the last time and she just couldn't overcome herself to turn her gaze away.  
It somehow made her feel closer to him.  
Which was both weird and pathetic.  
But it was all she needed right now.  
To be with him.  
Why couldn't she be with him?

The panic was gone.  
All there was left was a great void in her heart, a hole with raw edges, poignant as a third-degree burn.  
It paralyzed her.  
All she could do was to just sit there, staring at the screen as silent tears streamed down her face.  
Suddenly, the door to Braavos flew open, but Kiwi didn't look up.  
It probably was Jax anyway, who had left her alone for a moment to talk with Neo and Flash about what to do next.  
He had asked her to come, well, more like demanded, for he obviously didn't want to leave her alone, but she had refused, simply because she knew there was nothing left to do.  
This was it.  
Her life was over.  
She was broken, and this time for real.  
Shattered into a million pieces like a porcelain doll.  
_Irreparable_.

She vaguely noticed someone kneeling in front of her, but Kiwi just stared right through whoever it was.  
Truth be told, she didn't care who it was.  
It wasn't Vinnie, that she knew.  
But he was the only one she wanted to see right now, so badly.  
But she couldn't.  
She would never see him.  
Ever again.  
_  
Cruel_.  
It was cruel, how he was taken away from her after everything they had overcome together.  
Just like that.  
_Poof_.  
Gone in a flash.  
It just wasn't fair.  
Life wasn't fair.  
It never had been.  
But she had been able to face it because of him.  
Having him by her side had made her feel invincible.  
It was now clear that she wasn't.  
Invincible.  
Because without him, she was just a shell.  
An empty shell.  
Hollow.  
_Dead_.

"Kiwi…"  
Why wasn't it his voice that said her name?  
God, all she wanted was to hear him saying her name.  
But she couldn't.  
She would never hear him saying her name.  
Ever again.

_Lonely_.  
She had never felt this lonely in this darkness that was yet so familiar.  
And she couldn't stop herself from wondering if he would be lonely too.  
Would there be sunshine where he was?  
The way there was when he was here?  
She hoped there was.  
Perhaps that was why she was sitting here, in the dark.  
Perhaps he had taken the light with him.  
She hoped he did, even if it meant that she would never see a flash of light, ever again.  
All that mattered to her was that he wasn't surrounded by this terrifying darkness.  
Alone.  
God.  
_Help me._

"Kiwi, look at me."  
After a short moment, she did.  
She had no idea why, but she did.  
But everything was so blurry.  
All she saw was a black spot with big ears, kind of like Mickey Mouse's shadow.  
_Was she losing her mind?  
_After blinking a few times, her vision slowly became sharp again.  
Blue eyes.  
Light-brown fur.  
Shoulder-length hair.  
"Harley", Kiwi whispered when she started to realize who she was looking at.  
"What… what are you doing here? You're supposed to be in bed… resting."

It was weird as much as it was remarkable that despite everything, she still seemed to worry about someone else's well being.  
Why did she care anyway?  
Life was over.  
There was nothing left to care for.  
And yet, here she was, worrying about Harley, who took a bullet to save her life.  
Maybe that was the reason.  
She owed this Martian Mouse her life.  
And she suddenly wished she didn't.  
She would've died in peace, that day.  
Spared from this pain, this horrible pain.  
A little too late for that now.

"Kiwi, listen to me. We need to go."  
The human girl narrowed her eyes as her brain slowly processed the words, still dazed of shock.  
"Go?"  
"Yes, go. I simply refuse to believe that they're dead. Not until proven otherwise. So you need to grab yourself together and come with me."  
"Go… go to the Plutarkian HQ?", Kiwi asked confused as she blinked a few times, wondering if perhaps Harley had lost her mind as well.  
"No, to my grandma's grave, all right? Of course to the Plutarkian HQ. Geez, and they say humans are smart…"  
"No."  
The word had already left Kiwi's mouth before she knew it, but she didn't regret it.  
She didn't want to go there, after all.  
She simply couldn't bear it.

But Harley wouldn't have any of it.  
"I wasn't asking. Come on, we don't have much time. Jax doesn't want us to leave, thinking it's too dangerous, that it's a trap or something, to lure us out, but… but I need to go. I need to know. And so are you."  
But Kiwi already violently shook her head.  
"I can't. Don't you understand? Don't you see that you're expectations go beyond me? What if I see him, lying there, mutilated, knowing that he died alone in that room, that room he hated so much…", but Harley held up her hand before she could continue.  
"Stop. I'm sure Throttle has learned you to _never _make assumptions and sadly but true, it's all we have right now. But we need facts. So I'm going and you, missy, are coming with me. There's enough time to wallow in despair after we know what _really_ happened."

Kiwi just stared at Harley for a moment, a bit flabbergasted and perhaps even offended by the lack of sympathy.  
But then, without any warning, she suddenly got overwhelmed by a fit of pure rage by seeing the determination on Harley's face, one that came dangerously close to arrogance.  
Who the hell did she think she was, coming in here and tell her that they might be alive, that _he _might be alive…  
_Unbelievable_.  
"You've got some nerve, I'll give you that", she snapped at the female mouse, who gave her a confused look in return.  
It only made Kiwi even angrier.  
"Don't look at me like that. Do you have any idea what I'm feeling right now? Of course, you don't, otherwise, you wouldn't be here. Well, lemme explain; it feels like there's a part ripped away from me, which can mean only _one_ thing and you just barge in here to… to give me _hope_?!", she spat out with breaking voice, tears already blurring her vision again and she angrily wiped them away.

But Harley only laid her hands on Kiwi's shoulders, clearly not bothered by her anger.  
"He would do the same for you, Kiwi, and you know it. Even if it would tear him apart. So get it together and follow me."  
Without waiting for a response, the Martian female turned around and left the room.  
Kiwi just sat there, still breathing heavily after her outburst, but Harley's words had made impact, whether she liked it or not.  
_He would do the same for you.  
_She was right, he would.  
Without blinking.  
He would do anything for her.  
And she for him.  
So, she took a deep breath and forced herself to climb back on her feet.  
For him.  
For Vinnie.

**_…_**

Harley's bike came to a halt with shrieking brakes and Kiwi lowered her eyes, cursing herself for being such a coward.  
But she was somehow scared to see the place.  
Scared to see the damage, because it would only make it even more real that he was gone.  
But Harley didn't seem to want to waste any time, because she jumped off her bike while pulling off her helmet in the process.  
After hanging it on her left handlebar, she did a few steps towards the building, but when Kiwi didn't follow, she turned around to face the broken human girl.  
"Come on, Kiwi", she said, not unfriendly and offered Kiwi her hand.  
But the latter shook her head, swallowing with difficulty when the panic came back and squeezed her throat.  
"I don't think I can do this, Harley", she squeaked as she clung to the bike.  
Harley did a few steps forward and gently took her arm.  
"You can. You're stronger than you think", she told the human girl as she carefully pulled her off the bike.  
"Not as strong as you."  
"You know that's not true."

After removing the helmet, the Martian female wiped the messy black hair out of Kiwi's face.  
"You're scared, I get it. I'm scared too, in fact, I'm just inches away from losing my shit…"  
When Kiwi made a soft sound in disbelief, Harley gently but firmly grabbed her by the chin and forced her to look at her.  
"I not shitting you here, Kiwi. Just because I lost him to you doesn't mean I don't love him anymore, because I do. With all my heart. Just like the rest of them. They are my family, Kiwi, the only ones I have left next to Shaylon. I just got them back and losing them again will break me. So yeah, I am scared. Very scared. But this insecurity of not knowing whether they're dead or alive is even worse, next to the fact that I will never forgive myself if it turns out that I could've saved at least one of them."

Kiwi just stared at her for a moment while her overstimulated brain took in the words.  
There was a whirlwind of emotions visible in Harley's blue eyes, but there was one that prevailed.  
Hope.  
She was hopeful.  
_Goddammit.  
_What was it with hope that made it somehow contagious?  
It was like a seed.  
A seed that started to grow from the moment it was planted, despite the darkness in which it landed.  
It didn't need sunlight.  
Or water.  
It just grew.  
Whether one liked it or not.

Looking in Harley's eyes, Kiwi felt a little tingle in her belly when the seed rapidly expanded, knowing that it was too late to fight it.  
The damage had been done.  
The seed had been planted.  
And now, there was only one thing to do.  
So, after taking a deep breath, Kiwi nodded.  
"Okay."  
Harley's face lit up, but there was still a small hint of reservation visible in her eyes.  
"Are you sure?"  
"Yes, I am. Let's do this. For them. For our family."  
The Martian female now looked at her with something that came close to respect before she nodded back.  
"For our family."

Kiwi braced herself before she slowly looked up, prepared to see the worst imaginable, but much to her relief, this side of the building was still standing.  
It somehow made the seed grow even faster to the extent possible, for it meant that the bomb hadn't been strong enough to destroy the entire building.  
Perhaps Harley was right.  
Perhaps there was still a chance.  
After taking a good look, she recognized it as the place where Throttle, Modo and Vinnie had entered the building to start their search.  
Knowing that the bomb went off at the south-side of the building, Kiwi grabbed Harley's hand and dragged her to the very same door the mice had used only a few hours ago.

After a little hesitation, the human girl reached out her hand and slowly opened the door, but something stopped her from going inside.  
Harley, however, wasn't planning on slowing down.  
She carefully wiggled herself past Kiwi and walked through the now open door.  
It was pitch black inside, but the light-brown-furred mouse came prepared and took two flashlights out of her backpack.  
After giving one to Kiwi, she turned hers on while grabbing her gun.  
"Come on, we don't have much time."  
And she disappeared in the dark, soon followed by Kiwi.

As they rushed through the hallways, they both kept their eyes open for any sort of movement, friendly or hostile, but it seemed that the place was still deserted.  
Kiwi's heart started to pound faster as they approached the lab, but she succeeded to keep her calm.  
For now.  
Because when they reached the entrance to the lab, it became painfully clear that even though the rest of the building was still standing, this bomb had hardly been child's play and they both stopped to take in the damage.  
Which was... _substantial_.  
The smell of burned powder tickled their nose and Kiwi rubbed hers to stop herself from sneezing while her heart was already ten times heavier again.  
The seed of hope, the one that had been growing this till point, now shriveled back to its original form when she saw the big pile of debris that used to be the entrance to the lab and she swallowed with difficulty.  
There was _no way _someone could've survived this.  
No fucking way.

Without thinking, she grabbed Harley's hand in a tight grip while her breathing became heavier, but the female mouse wasn't ready to give up yet.  
"Let's search for an entrance."  
Kiwi shook her head in denial as she let her flashlight wander over the big chunks with a trembling hand.  
But before she could say something to stop this madness, Harley broke the silence.  
"Through here."  
"Harley, wait…", but judging by the darkness and the scraping sounds in the distance, the female Martian was already gone.  
Kiwi just stood there, for a moment indecisive what to do, until her surroundings got the best of her.  
This place was kind of scary actually, and standing here, all alone, suddenly seemed to be even worse than whatever she would find at the other side of this wall made of stones.  
So, after taking another deep breath, she quickly followed Harley through the small tunnel on all fours.

Much to her surprise, the tunnel led to an open space and when Kiwi was back on her feet, she recognized it as the room the mice had been in right before the bomb went off.  
The lab.  
It was crazy that it was still recognizable as a room, but that was simply because a few big pieces of chunks stopped the ceiling from collapsing.  
But even despite that, the room felt eerie and claustrophobic and Kiwi rubbed her arms when a chill went down her spine.

"Guys…?", Harley broke the loaded silence, startling Kiwi at the same time. She looked at the light-brown-furred mouse, who now wandered through the remains of the room.  
Silence, that almost sickening silence, was all that came in response.  
"Vinnie?"  
Hearing his name was like a slap in Kiwi's face and she closed her eyes when she suddenly snapped back to reality.  
This was crazy.  
_Stupid_.  
Jax was right, it was dangerous to come here.  
Here, in this room that could collapse by the slightest vibration, burying them forever.  
Not that she cared.  
Well, not about her own safety, that is.  
She knew now.  
From the moment she had seen the damage, she knew.  
Her life was over anyway.

But Harley…  
Harley had a son.  
A son, who already grew up without a father.  
What if he would lose his mother too?  
For this?  
For this little itty-bitty splinter of hope?  
"I think we should go."

But Harley shook her head as she still wandered along the big piles of debris, and even in the little light they had, Kiwi could see how her determination got replaced by something else.  
Despair.  
_God_.  
This was wrong.  
She never should've listened to her.  
This was clearly a mission based on nothing but unrealistic hope.  
"Harley, come on. We tried. We tried, and that's all that matters. But we need to go now before this whole place is gonna collapse…"  
Loud creaking confirmed that theory and Kiwi froze. She even held in her breath, as if that would stop the inevitable.  
But then, the sound slowly faded and the silence, that awful silence, returned.  
That empty silence, that told her he wasn't here.  
At least, not alive.  
He was gone.  
Forever.  
So was the rest.  
Stoker.  
Carbine.  
Modo.  
Throttle.  
She was alone again.  
All alone.

Without any warning, her legs became weak and she just dropped down on her knees, squeezing her eyes when that agonizing pain washed over her again.  
"Oh, God, Vinnie…", she panted as she bent over, leaning on her hands in an attempt to make breathing a bit easier, but it was hardly sufficient.  
It was crazy, how strongly her entire body and mind yearned to feel his arms around her.  
To smell his scent.  
To hear his voice.  
She had never felt a craving like this, not even when he was still here.  
_Here_.  
With her and beside her.  
To guard her and to guide her.  
Just like he had promised to her at their wedding.  
"Please, come back to me..."

But, of course, there was no response.  
There would never be a response.  
Never again.  
_Alone_.  
She was all alone.  
And it suddenly made her angry like never before.  
"Goddammit, you _promised_! You looked me in the eye and _promised_ me to follow me everywhere! How could you do this? How could you leave me on my own…?", she sobbed in both sadness and anger as she hit the floor to vent some of this suffocating heartache, even though it brought her nothing but pain.

Why, for fuck sake why did he leave her like this?  
He knew.  
He knew how much she needed him.  
And yet, here she was.  
All alone.  
And it killed her.  
Slowly.  
Painfully.

But just when she thought she was going to suffocate, right here, right now, the band around her torso loosened.  
The pain, that was too heavy to bear, now softened and Kiwi opened her eyes, frowning in confusion.  
There was a certain calmness that chased away the agony and even though it was beyond confounding, she gratefully took advantage of this strange phenomenon to breathe.  
To breathe the dusty and musty air.  
It wasn't enough to calm her down, no…  
But it was just enough to make it somehow bearable, a thing she was grateful for.  
It was then when the impossible happened.  
Because just when she realized that this calmness she felt was somehow familiar, she suddenly heard a voice in her head.  
A voice from which she thought she would never hear again.  
A voice that was about the only thing capable of calming her down when she was feeling this anxious.  
This sad.  
_His _voice.

"_I'm here, with you beside you… To guard you and to guide you…"_

Silent tears streamed down her face as she listened to his voice whispering a part of his vow.  
It was exactly the words she needed to hear him say, and it made her wonder if perhaps her brain was playing some sick game.  
But it felt so real.  
The calmness, the warmth, his voice…  
As if he was with her again.  
As if he had never left.  
_A restored connection…  
_Could it be?

The image of his face flashed before her eyes, of how he had looked at her while saying their vows.  
His love for her, the one that was readable in his ruby-red eyes, warmed her up from the inside, even though it made her cry even harder to look him the eye and see him looking back, knowing this was nothing more but a memory.  
_Was it?  
_Because she didn't only see him.  
She suddenly smelled him, too.  
Felt him.  
All around her.  
"Vinnie…"  
He looked back at her, with that crooked smile of his, the one she loved so much.  
The one that had made her fall in love.  
"Say... you love... me…", she managed to bring out between sobs, torn by the conflict of having hope and disbelief that this was real.

"_You know I do…"_

Her heart just stopped.  
_Jesus_.  
This was real.  
It had to be real.  
But just when she started to believe that there was more going on here than just her brain playing a game, his image started to fade, so was his calming effect and the panic immediately hit her again.  
"No… no, no, no, no, please, don't go", she cried as she crawled forward with one hand reaching out to him.  
"...don't leave me here all alone…"

"_Close your eyes."_

It was nothing more but a whisper in the wind, but she heard it and without any form of hesitation, she did what he said.  
As soon as she closed them, the calmness came back.  
Not just that, it reached even further now and her body finally relaxed for the first time since that goddamn screen went black.  
Since the world had stopped spinning and it was like lying a warm bath.  
And suddenly, completely out of nowhere, she saw a glimpse of something that changed _everything_.  
It was nothing more but a flash, like a soft breeze on a warm summer night that was anything but refreshing, but it was enough.  
Her eyes flew open as she jumped at her feet with renewed strength, looking Harley straight in the eye with determination written upon her face.  
"I know where they are."


	18. Chapter 18

Hey you guys...

Thank you so much for the reviews.  
It was indeed a very sad chapter.  
I'm afraid this one won't be any different.  
But it will clarify some things :)

Either way, I hope you guys are still able to enjoy it.  
Feel free to leave a review, always very much appreciated, as you know by now.  
And till next time!

Later dudes!

* * *

**Chapter 18**

With his voice still echoing through her head, Kiwi's gaze wandered through the room, searching for the one thing that could help her locate the mice.  
With a little bit of imagination, she soon found what she was looking for and she marched over to the huge pile of rubble that used to be the wall of the room where Vinnie had lost a piece of his soul.  
Without slowing down, she started to remove the rocks she could lift with her human strength, throwing them over her shoulder with dogged determination.  
Harley, who at first only stared at the human girl, wondering if she had lost her mind, now popped up next to her with confusion written upon her face.  
"What are you doing?"  
Kiwi rolled her eyes in response without slowing down.  
"And they say that Martian Cave Mice are smart. What does it look like I'm doing? I'm trying to save what is left of my family, you know, the one and only reason why we're here in the first place. Now, are you just gonna stand there and do nothing or are you gonna help me move these rocks? _God_", she added softly, shaking her head in annoyance.

But Harley folded her arms and studied the human girl with narrowed eyes.  
The sudden change in her behavior was shocking, to say the least, and she wasn't sure what it was that had caused it.  
"How do you know?", the female mouse asked skeptically.  
"What?"  
"How do you know that they're here?"  
"I just do."  
"You just do", Harley repeated toneless, but there was something in Kiwi's voice, a certain determination, a certain strength that hadn't been there before which made her believe that the human girl wasn't just losing her mind but might be really on to something.  
Heaving a sigh, she rolled up her sleeves and joined Kiwi in the search, still a bit skeptical.  
But there was this small spark of hope.  
One she couldn't ignore.  
So she decided to give whatever it was that was going on inside that human's head a chance.  
A chance was all they needed, after all.

They worked in silence, a thing Kiwi was grateful for.  
She wasn't sure what just happened, so she had no idea how to explain it to the by war-hardened female Freedom Fighter, for even the most logical explanation sounded like something that simply didn't exist.  
As if she had lost her mind, overwhelmed by grief.  
But the truth was, she never had been clearer in the head than at this very moment.  
All her emotions were carefully locked behind a dam, except for determination.  
It's what gave her the strength to move, to talk, to do whatever was necessary to find her soulmate.  
Because she was going to find him.  
End of story.

After removing rubble and debris for a time that felt like an eternity, Kiwi's now bleeding fingers scraped over something that felt like metal and her heart skipped a beat as she immediately doubled her efforts.  
Harley did the same without asking and soon, they both did a few steps back and looked at the big metal plate that was resting on the remaining pile of debris, kind of like a crooked roof.  
"We need to move it. You take that side", Kiwi ordered as she pointed at her left.  
For a moment, it seemed as if Harley wanted to protest, to ask the questions from which Kiwi knew were burning on her tongue, but she didn't.  
Thank god, she didn't.

After they both grabbed one side of the big plate, Kiwi took a deep breath and looked Harley straight in the eye.  
"You ready?"  
Harley nodded, still being as quiet as a mouse.  
"Okay, on three. One… Two… Three!"  
Kiwi clenched her teeth and used all her strength to lift the plate, so did Harley, but it didn't move.  
Not even an inch.  
"Again. One… Two… Three!"  
But again, it didn't budge.  
"Shit! Come on, you stupid thing, _MOVE_!", Kiwi grunted as she now hung with her entire weight on the metal plate, but it was no use.  
It was too heavy.  
The sharp edge cut in her hands and blood streamed down her arms, but she hardly noticed.  
She didn't even feel the pain.  
All she knew was that they needed to move this thing and fast too, before it was too late.

Harley dropped on the floor in defeat, breathing heavily while shaking her head.  
"This isn't gonna work, there's just no way…"  
She then looked at Kiwi, who was still trying to move heaven and earth to get the plate into motion with an almost tormented look on her face and guilt suddenly pressed its heavy weight on her heart.  
This was all her fault.  
She had given the human girl hope.  
But it was now clear to her that it had been false hope.  
The small chance she thought they had, was gone.  
_They _were gone.  
Forever.  
Determined not to break down in front of the already labile Kiwi, she swallowed away her tears, along with the excruciating pain and carefully locked it all away.  
Later.  
Later, there would be time to break down.  
But not now.  
Certainly not now.

She climbed back on her feet and walked over to Kiwi before she laid a hand on her shoulder.  
"Kiwi, stop. You're hurting yourself…"  
"I don't care."  
"But I do. Look, you were right. We tried. We owed that to them and we did. But this… this is the end, Kiwi. It's time that we accept the truth…"  
But Kiwi didn't stop, no, she pulled even harder on the metal plate, tears streaming down her face again.  
She knew they were here, she just knew it and there was no way in hell she was going to give up now.  
Not now she was so close to him.  
Harley didn't understand.  
How could she?  
She wasn't the one who was connected to Vinnie, after all.  
But Kiwi was.  
And she knew, she felt it in every cell of her body that he was here.  
So was the rest.  
All she had to do was find them.  
Before it was too late.

But Harley's attempts to stop her became more compelling and before Kiwi knew it, the female mouse already dragged her away from the plate.  
"No…"  
She reached out her hands, her bleeding hands, to the metal object as if it was salvation itself.  
Perhaps it was.  
She knew it was.  
"No, let me go, I need to find him…", she pleaded, struggling to get loose, but unfortunately, Harley was strong.  
Stronger than her.  
And suddenly, the pain was back in its full glory.  
The despair.  
The agony, that washed over her like a fucking tsunami, dragging her with it to wherever it wanted to bring her.  
A place she didn't want to be.  
Dark.  
Cold  
_Lonely_.  
"No…"  
"Kiwi, come on, we need to go. It's over. I'm so sorry, but it's over…"  
Harley whispered the words in her ear, but they came in twice as loud, making Kiwi's eardrums vibrate.  
Goosebumps spread across her body.  
'_It's over…'_

Her blue eyes were fixated on the metal plate, a plate made of, as far as she knew, the only material in the universe that was practically indestructible.  
Plutarkian steel.  
'_It's over…'  
_No.  
It wasn't.  
Not if she could help it.  
"Harley, let me go. I don't wanna hurt you", she warned the female Martian with a low voice, but as expected, the latter didn't let her go.  
In fact, she dragged Kiwi towards the tunnel, all determined to leave this place.  
But the human girl wasn't planning on leaving.  
Not anymore.  
So, she clenched her teeth and without hesitation, she just raised her arm and planted her elbow in Harley's stomach with all her strength, forcing the light-brown-furred mouse to let go.  
She bend over as she let out a moan in pain, but Kiwi was already standing next to the plate again, hell-bent on getting it into movement.

Harley shook her head in disbelief.  
"Jesus, Kiwi, what's got into you? I know the truth is beyond crushing and therefore hard to accept, but this…"  
"I saw it, okay? I saw it in my head", Kiwi cut her off as she turned around to face Harley, who now fell silent, rubbing her sore stomach as confusion chased away the pain.  
"What do you mean, you saw it?", she eventually asked, her voice hoarse.  
"As I say. I saw it, in my head. I saw… _him_. I heard him. I felt him. I even smelled him. I know this sounds crazy, but he showed it to me. In my head. He showed me that the wall of that awful room has a plate in it, a plate made of Plutarkian steel. This plate, to be exact", and she pointed at it.  
Harley shook her head in confusion as she held up her hand.  
"Now just wait a minute. He… _showed _it to you? How is that even possible?"  
"Truth be told, I have no idea. I'm just as stunned as you are. But if I have to guess, I think it has something to do with the connection."

These words made impact, Kiwi could tell by the way the Martian female froze as her blue eyes grew big.  
"But that… that would mean… that he…"  
"That he's still alive, yes", Kiwi finished the sentence for her, for she had concluded the same thing shortly after he showed up in her head.  
"But you said… you said you didn't feel him anymore, you said…"  
"I _know_ what I said", Kiwi interrupted her sharply, almost bouncing on her feet in impatience.  
_Dammit.  
_They didn't have time for this.  
They needed to keep going, but she couldn't do this without Harley's help.  
But it was clear that the light-brown-furred mouse was doubting her sanity right now, with good reason.  
Kiwi hardly knew for herself if this was real.  
But she couldn't just ignore it.  
Besides, the fact that they'd found the plate was evidence in her favor.  
Perhaps there was still a chance.  
Because if there was something in this universe able to protect one against an explosion, it would be something made of Plutarkian steel.  
Something like this plate.

"Look, I know you think I've lost my mind, and who knows, maybe I have. But either way, we need to get this thing into motion and fast, otherwise, I will lose him for good. Even though this all makes no sense at all, it feels like there's a chance and I need to grab it with both hands. I can't lose them. They are just as much my family as they are yours. But I most certainly can't lose him, Harley. Without him, I'm incomplete. I need him, more than anything. He's my reason and my life…"  
Her voice broke and tears already streamed down her face again as she gave Harley a pleading look.  
"Please, help me move this thing. Help me to get him back… I know it's a long shot, but I have to at least try. Please, I'm begging you…"

Kiwi knew perfectly well what she was asking and the pain in Harley's eyes confirmed that. He was her long lost love, after all.  
Hearing her saying out loud what he meant to her must be feeling like a knife cutting through her soul.  
It must remind her of the time she had with him.  
Of her love for him.  
Of his love for her.  
Because Kiwi knew Vinnie had loved Harley.  
Deeply.  
And she had loved him.  
Deeply.  
She _still _loved him.  
And that love was exactly what Kiwi needed right now.  
People would do anything for love.  
Even if it was unrequited love.  
It was still love.  
One of the strongest emotions that existed.  
It was instinctive.  
Ancient.  
But unbreakable.  
Stronger than anything else in this cruel world.  
Stronger than hate.  
Or resentment.  
Or jealousy.

And indeed, it was.  
Because after waiting for what felt like a lifetime, Harley eventually nodded.  
"Okay. You win. I'll go get my bike. It's our only chance to get that stupid thing into movement."  
She turned around and already walked to the small tunnel when Kiwi finally opened her mouth again.  
"Thank you."  
The Martian female stopped for a moment and Kiwi stared at her tensed back, knowing she probably needed to feel guilty for taking advantage of the ancient instinct that was called love, but she didn't.  
It was like she said.  
People would do anything for love.  
She was definitely no exception.  
Without responding, Harley just disappeared into the tunnel and Kiwi let out her breath.  
"I'm coming for you, Vinnie. Just hang on, okay? Hang on…"  
He didn't answer.  
But she wasn't planning on giving up.  
Not now.  
Not ever.

_**…**_

"Ready?", Kiwi yelled at Harley, who was on the other side of the big wall of debris.  
The bike had been too big to fit through the tunnel, but a tow wasn't.  
The rope was now attached to the big metal plate with a hook, the other side at the back of Harley's bike.  
"Ready! Take a few steps back, Kiwi, if the rope breaks, I don't want it to end in your face. You probably won't live to tell the tale", Harley shouted back and the human girl did what she was told.  
The Martian female slowly opened the gas and the rope tightened.  
Kiwi's heart pounded in her chest as she kept a close eye on the metal plate, crossing her fingers that this would work.  
It had to work.  
The engine of the bike roared loudly as Harley opened the gas even further and Kiwi could hear the rear tire skidding, but nothing happened.  
"More!", she yelled over the sound of an engine that was already being pushed to its limits, but when Harley did what she said, still nothing happened.  
"More!"  
"Kiwi, I…"  
"_MORE_!"

Her blue eyes were fixated on the metal plate, and even her not so sensitive hearing could hear the sound of a rope that was close to snapping, but suddenly, the plate moved.  
It was only an inch or so, but it moved.  
"More, Harley, more!", she yelled almost hysterically with her fists clenched, still staring at the plate with an intensity as if she could lift it by only looking at it.  
Smoke now filled the cave that was once a room and the smell of burning rubber tickled her nostrils, but she didn't care.  
Because the plate was slowly coming up.  
All that was needed now was to get it over its tipping point.  
A crackling sound made her look at the rope, only to see that it slowly started to unravel and  
she held in her breath…

**BAM.**

The plate landed on the floor with a loud bang and Kiwi's stomach made about three hundred backflips when she saw what was hidden underneath it.  
She stumbled towards them, hardly able to remain on her feet when she saw the blood.  
There was a lot of blood.  
"Oh my god, guys...", she panted as she dropped next to Throttle, who was lying closest to her. It was immediately clear to her that he was unconscious, or at least, she hoped he was.  
As she reached out a trembling hand, her eyes landed on the wound on the right side of his nose, making her feel sick to the stomach, for it was a wound she had never seen before, so deep.  
It seemed that his glasses had cut straight through the flesh, exposing the bone of his upper jaw.

As she quickly turned her gaze the other way, she noticed that his left arm was bowed in an unnatural position.  
But her hand now made its way through the fur in his neck and she closed her eyes, focussing on nothing else but checking his pulse.  
Soon, she felt the familiar pulsating sensation under her fingers and her eyes flew open again, a small part of that agonizing pain gone from the moment she felt his heartbeat.  
"Harley, call the base and tell them to send the medical team, now!", she yelled with breaking voice over her shoulder and Harley, who was already halfway the room, immediately turned around again.

Kiwi was already crawling to Modo, who lay close to Throttle.  
His face seemed to be unharmed, but his right leg was buried under a big piece of chunk and Kiwi was somehow grateful that he wasn't conscious right now, because the pain must be unbearable.  
She quickly checked his pulse too and much to her relief, his heart was still beating as well.  
The same applied to Carbine, who lay close to Modo.  
She then reached Stoker, who was lying on his belly instead of his back like the rest and it somehow made her wonder why that was.  
But she soon forgot that she'd wondered it in the first place, for she saw something that made her heart drop like a rollercoaster, including its screaming passengers.  
A glimpse of a white fur under Stoker's left arm.  
She quickly crawled closer, ignoring the pain of the small pebbles pricking in her hands and knees as panic closed her throat again.  
"Vinnie… Oh my god, Vinnie..."  
Her bleeding hand reached out and she suddenly felt his fur under her fingers.  
His soft fur.  
It was so familiar.  
It felt like coming home.  
God, please...  
_Let him be alive._

When she was close enough, she could see how Stoker's body partially covered Vinnie's.  
His long hair, that he usually wore in a long ponytail, was dislodged and lay now spread over Vinnie's face, covering it like a blanket.  
With her heart pounding in her chest, she slowly reached out and with only using her two index fingers, she stroked the hair away as if she opened a curtain.  
And there he was.  
Her reason and her life.  
Her soulmate.  
Her best friend.  
Her everything.  
And she just broke down by only seeing him, for she had thought she never would, ever again.  
Her still bleeding fingers slid through the fur on his face to his neck, but something suddenly stopped her.  
What if she felt nothing?  
What if she was about to find out that he was dead?  
That she had lost him forever?

Harley had told her that it was the insecurity of not knowing whether they were dead or alive that was killing her, but not Kiwi.  
She thought it did, but she now realized that even though the insecurity was slowly eating her on the inside, there was still a glimpse of hope hidden beneath it.  
Hope that was going to be destroyed if she wasn't going to feel his heartbeat under her fingers.  
Because then her worst nightmare would become reality.  
Was she ready for that?  
Of course, she wasn't.  
As silent tears streamed down her face, she looked at him.  
And she would give anything to have him looking back at her right now.  
To tell her what to do.  
But he didn't.  
His eyelids were closed, hiding the most beautiful ruby-red eyes she had ever seen.  
The mirror to his soul.  
If his soul was still there, that is.  
It had to be.

His face was as good as unharmed too, thank God.  
Well, apart from some small wounds, probably caused by flying debris.  
There was a tear in his right ear, though.  
And a nasty looking wound at the level of his left temple.  
That was probably the reason why he wasn't awake.  
But it didn't look life-threatening.  
Or maybe she only thought it didn't.  
Maybe she was being naive.  
Who knew?  
All she knew that she was scared.  
Scared to find out the truth, even though there was still a chance.  
But that was the thing.  
There was still a chance.  
And where there was a chance, there was hope.  
She was beyond scared to crush that hope.  
With her hand still resting on Vinnie's cheek, she lowered her gaze.  
Stoker's arm was resting on Vinnie's chest, his fingers clawed into the black hoodie, that was now torn and almost grey of dust.  
His left leg lay between Vinnie's and his metal tail was still wrapped around Vinnie's right ankle.  
And it suddenly hit Kiwi like a train.

_Protection_  
He'd protected Vinnie by jumping on him, using his body to protect Vinnie's.  
"Jesus, Stoker…", she breathed as she slowly reached out to him and shortly thereafter, her fingers gently wrapped around the brown-furred wrist.  
Closing her eyes, she focussed on feeling anything else but her own racing heart and she did a little prayer, even though she was anything but religious.  
Another tear left her eye and slowly rolled down her cheek.  
_Protection_.  
He'd protected Vinnie, an action that carried a high price.  
And he had paid it.  
With his life.  
Because she felt nothing under her fingers.  
Not even warmth.  
He was gone.  
Stoker was gone.

Her breathing accelerated as she opened her eyes again, looking at Vinnie's face.  
His pretty and oh so familiar face.  
Stoker died protecting him.  
This sacrifice changed everything.  
It was important to know if it hadn't been for nothing.  
That he didn't die in vain.  
If she wasn't ready to check Vinnie's pulse for herself, she at least had to do it for Stoker.  
She owed him that much.  
And so, her fingers slid through the white fur to his neck and she held in her breath.  
For a moment, she felt nothing and panic already started to cloud her brain again.  
The pain, the one that was dormant on the background, waiting to jump on her, came closer again and she suddenly had a hard time breathing.  
But then, she felt something and she froze.  
Staring at her hand, her brain finally translated the signals which the nerve endings in her fingers were sending up and she realized she felt a pulse.  
It was weak, but it was there.  
_Holy shit.  
_He was still alive.

The relief she felt was beyond words and she burst into tears again, but this time it weren't tears of pain.  
Jesus, he was still here.  
She wasn't alone.  
Not anymore.  
She was complete again.  
She looked at Stoker again and gently stroked his hair out of his face with a trembling hand, thereby exposing the left side of his face.  
He looked kind of peaceful, actually.  
Even his eyes were closed.  
As if he was sleeping.  
Finally able to rest after a long and turbulent life filled with nothing more but pain, misery and sacrifices.  
The life of a hero.  
A true hero.  
Still sobbing, Kiwi leaned forward and gently pressed a kiss on his cheek.  
"Thank you..."

_**Present…**_

Kiwi blinked a few times, realizing she was still in Throttle's arms.  
That they were still standing on her balcony at the base.  
She wasn't back to that day, that awful day, no…  
She was still here.  
But it felt so real.  
It always did.  
As if she was there again.  
On that day that had changed everything.  
"Will he ever come back to me?", she whispered with her nose still buried in his tan-colored fur.  
She asked this question almost every day now.  
Well, scratch _'almost'_.  
She asked it every day, sometimes even multiple times.  
As if Throttle knew the answer.  
He didn't.  
He said the same thing he always said.  
"He'll come around. Eventually. He just needs time."

_They say it takes time.  
_But no one ever told her how much time.  
He was gone for eight months already.  
For eight long months, she was alone.  
Without him by her side.  
How much time did he need?  
How long did it take to find the way back to yourself again?  
She had no idea.  
She wasn't able to be herself.  
Not without him.  
Without him, there was a part of herself missing.  
And God, she just wanted it back.  
She wanted _him _back.

To say that Vinnie suffered from the consequences of that day, that awful day, was what she liked to call an understatement.  
They all did, for it was a pitch-black day, but nobody took it as hard as Vinnie.  
She wasn't sure what had hit him the most, the fact that Stoker gave up his life to protect him or that moment when he realized that the war was really over.  
If she had to guess, it was the latter.  
But it didn't matter, actually.  
All that mattered was the restlessness that had followed soon after it.  
The anxiety, that had turned him into someone she didn't recognize.  
The guilt, that had made his usual joyful heart heavy and dark.  
_Too_ heavy.  
_Too _dark.

She had never seen him this lost, not even after his sister died.  
That was nothing compared to what he was going through now.  
That look on his face…  
It haunted her in her dreams.  
The confusion, the insecurity, the guilt…  
He'd lost himself.  
Absolutely clueless about who he was now there wasn't a war to fight anymore.  
A crisis of identity.  
One she hadn't been able to avoid nor solve.  
She had tried everything within her power to make him realize that he still had a purpose.  
That when old and familiar things came to an end, new things would follow, even though it all seemed so pointless at the moment.  
But old things got replaced by new things, end of story.  
That was just how it worked and she was absolutely certain that he wasn't an exception.  
Because she _knew.  
_She had been there herself, after all.

She had lost her parents in the most cruel way, and the darkness that came after had seemed to be endless as well, by the time.  
But then the mice had entered her life.  
And slowly, there had been light at the end of the tunnel again.  
Slowly, she had been able to find her way back to that light.  
But even though she had been through something similar as he was going through now, it didn't convince him of her telling the truth.  
Somehow, she was unable to get through to him.  
Not really that much of a surprise.  
He had always been too stubborn for his own good.  
He did try, though.  
To listen to her.

But eventually, the restlessness got the better of him.  
And as soon as he heard of the special team that was prepared by Carbine to contain the last waves of resistance on Mars, he had made his decision.  
Driven by his anxiety, he had left the base.  
Leaving her behind with nothing more but a promise.  
A promise that he would always love her, no matter what would happen to him.  
And that she needed to forget about him.  
But how could she?  
She would never be able to forget about him.  
_Never.  
_

The fact that he left wasn't even the worst part.  
Deep down, she could understand his motives.  
Not to mention that the last time he had been in some sort of crisis, the time away from the base had done him some good.  
And he had returned to her.  
But this time, it was different.  
He hadn't even given her the chance to stop him.  
In fact, he had informed her about his departure only minutes before he mounted his bike.  
And after giving her that stupid and empty promise, he just drove away.  
He just left.  
Just like that.  
As if the past few years they had spent together meant nothing to him.  
As if _she _meant nothing to him.  
Maybe she did, once.  
But now… she wasn't so sure anymore.

Throttle still tried to convince her otherwise, though.  
He told her almost every day about how much his young bro loved her.  
That she was his world and always would be.  
And whenever she asked him why he was so sure about that, his answer was always plain and simple.  
'_I just do.'  
_The funny thing was that he was right.  
He knew Vinnie through and through.  
He probably knew him even better than she did.  
So she did every within her power to believe him.  
To trust him.  
To rely on his judgment of the situation.

But it was hard.  
There were always these questions that repeated in her head, over and over again.  
Questions she wanted to ask him, to demand an answer, but he had denied her that opportunity by leaving without preparing her.  
Without consulting her.  
If she really meant something to him, then why did he leave her behind like this?  
Why wouldn't he let her help him to get through this mess?  
Why didn't he see that she was here for him, to help him?  
That he wasn't alone?  
So many questions.  
So few answers.

Although, if she had to be honest, she already knew the answer.  
Deep down, she knew.  
There was only one answer that explained everything, after all.  
As it always did.  
It was because he was damaged.  
Because he had no idea how to handle his pain.  
So he did what he always did.  
He fled.  
He just ran off without looking back, scared to be overtaken by his own sorrow.  
She couldn't even blame him.  
This was who he was nowadays, after all.  
Who the war had made him.  
It wasn't his fault.  
It never was.  
And it never will be.

She remembered seeing his baby picture, back on Earth.  
It felt like a lifetime ago, but the picture was still crystal clear in her head, somehow burned into her memory.  
His ruby-red eyes filled with love.  
Unconditional love.  
So pure.  
A bit like Mika.  
Unmarked.  
And she knew, that was who he _really_ was.  
Well, who he _supposed_ to be.  
Without all the events that had left their scars, both physically and mentally.

If only he would let it in.  
If only he would stop running.  
If only he would come back to her.  
So they could watch the sunset together.  
Because together, they were able to overcome anything.  
Together, they were invincible.  
If only he had the confidence to give it a chance.  
_God.  
_Was she ever going to see him again?

_**Somewhere at the south-side of Mars…**_

Unbeknownst to Kiwi, Vinnie was watching the same sunset as she was, only about a 1000 miles away.  
The white-furred mouse was sitting on a rock outside camp, staring at the sunset while chewing on a dried blade of grass, his arms nonchalantly leaning on his knees.  
Eight months had passed.  
Eight long and exhausting months since that moment he had looked Kiwi in the eye and told her that he was going away.  
That he was going to leave her.  
_Again_.  
The pain he had seen in her eyes followed him ever since, and yet, here he was.  
All alone.  
Taunted by guilt.  
There were so many things he felt guilty about.

It was him who had stormed to the building, that awful day, after all.  
Without thinking.  
Forcing his bro's and therefore the rest to follow him, because he knew they would.  
They always did.  
But this time, their loyalty came at a high price.  
A price they paid without complaint, but most certainly didn't deserve.  
Not after everything they had already been through.  
Man, the look on Modo's face when he woke up and realized he'd lost his leg.  
That he'd lost another part of his body and that while he was still dealing with the loss of his arm, even though that happened years ago now.  
Vinnie knew that the grey-furred mouse was still having a hard time accepting his bionic arm, accepting it as a part of his body, as a part of himself instead of an invention made by one of their biggest enemies.  
_The legacy of war.  
_And now there was another part of his body replaced by metal, based on the design of his arm and the pain that was constantly written upon his face was one of the reasons why Vinnie suddenly couldn't look him in the eye anymore.  
That pain was his fault.  
He was to blame, without questioning.

And then there was Stoker.  
_Jesus, Stoker.  
_His mentor, his coach, the person who came closest to a father figure in this fucked up world had given his life to protect him.  
_Him_, who had gotten them into that shit in the first place.  
How was that even fair?  
And if his loss wasn't already excruciating enough, it was obvious to him that he wasn't the only one affected by it.  
Of course, he wasn't.  
He had seen the look on Throttle's face when he thought no one was watching.  
He was devastated to say the least.  
So was Carbine.  
The whole base was, actually.  
They had lost a hero.  
_Their_ hero.  
And every time he saw their pain, he knew this was on him.  
Their pain was a constant reminder of his failure.  
And it was too much to bear.

Of course, Kiwi had tried to convince him that it wasn't his fault.  
Because that's who she was.  
Forgiving.  
Always willing to look at both sides of the story.  
She had told him that it wasn't him who had placed that bomb.  
That if he had known, he would never have entered that building.  
Perhaps that was true, but it didn't soften the heavy pressure on his chest that came with the guilt.  
Because either way, it was because of him that they had been in that building when that bomb went off and that was the truth and nothing but the truth.  
And all because he simply didn't know how to use that thing that's called a brain.  
_Stupid._

So yeah, there were a lot of things to feel guilty about.  
It seemed that everyone around him had paid a price too high for their abilities.  
So, it only seemed fair that he did the same.  
To pay the price that came with his latest failure.  
Joining this team seemed to be the perfect opportunity to start, even if that meant he needed to leave Kiwi and everyone else he loved behind.  
But that was all part of it.  
He didn't deserve to be happy.  
And even if he knew how, he didn't deserve to live a life in peace.  
Not after the things he had done.  
Because of Stoker's sacrifice, his fate was now intrinsically linked with that of Mars.  
And as long as Mars needed him, he would be there for her.  
No matter the costs.  
That he owed Stoker.  
It was the least he could do in return.  
To make sure that he didn't die in vain.

But strangely enough, all that wasn't even the main reason why he was sitting here.  
All alone.  
Miles away from the ones he loved.  
Who he had failed.  
No, that was all to blame to that awful feeling of being _useless_.  
It was a feeling he did not know and he had no idea how to deal with it.  
But as soon as he realized that the Plutarkians were really gone, it was neither joy nor relief that had prevailed.  
No, it had been a certain emptiness that had taken over his entire body and soul.  
He suddenly felt so… _aimless_.  
His entire existence had become pointless in only the blink of an eye.  
It was this particular feeling that had chased him away from the base as _far_ as possible and as _fast_ as possible.  
To join those who had chosen to keep fighting.  
Those who had chosen to give up the peace which they so desperately fought for, because they knew that even with the Plutarkians gone, the war wasn't really over.  
It was just less… obvious.  
The fight continued behind closed doors.

That was simply because, as a result of an almost endless war, the people on Mars were divided.  
A thing that was inevitable as much as it was to be expected.  
Driven by fear of the unknown, some residents of Mars had chosen to bet their money on the wrong horse, even shortly after the war broke loose, now years ago.  
Over time, more had joined them for many different reasons, all truly justified in their eyes.  
To Vinnie, they were all the same.  
_Traitors_.  
But it had become painfully clear that their loyalty meant nothing to the fish.  
Not anymore.  
Not now they knew they had lost this war.  
And they just left, leaving their allies, who had risked everything for them, behind to face the music because they simply didn't care what would become of them.  
To them, they were disposable.  
What an unexpected surprise…  
_Not._

For the majority of the turned people, being left by the Plutarkians to fend for themselves was enough reason to make them realize that they had made a big mistake by placing their trust in the wrong hands.  
They had begged for mercy, and the Freedom Fighters had given it to them, simply because they were different than the ones who had left them behind without even blinking.  
But even despite all that, Vinnie and his team had soon found out that there were still enough small groups of resistance, groups who were hell-bent on finishing what the Plutarkians had started, namely; the destruction of Mars.  
Vinnie was absolutely clueless about what was motivating them to continue this, in his eyes, meaningless fight.  
But frankly, he didn't care either.  
He only knew that he was grateful.  
Grateful for having a purpose again.  
For having a daily reminder of who he was.  
A fearless soldier.  
One of the best.

He had learned the hard way that without that acknowledgment, he was nothing.  
He simply couldn't live his life without it.  
And no matter how much he yearned to be with Kiwi again, he remained where he was.  
Because going back to her meant going back to being confronted with his failure, every single day.  
Going back to her meant going back to that horrible feeling of being useless.  
Back to that maddening anxiety that transformed him into an absolute wreck.  
If only she could understand…

Maybe she would, someday.  
He almost prayed that she would.  
So she could move on with her life.  
So she could forget about him.  
_Him_, the most selfish coward in this entire universe.  
The one who didn't have the strength to face the consequences of his own failure.  
Who kept hurting the ones he loved.  
He just kept letting them down, over and over again.  
She didn't deserve that.  
She deserved so much better than him.  
_Everyone _deserved so much better than him.  
Even his bro's.

_Ah man, his bro's.  
_He truly missed them, almost as much as he missed his girl who wasn't his girl anymore simply because he allowed himself to be the coward he was.  
He missed their conversations, their jokes, their flawless cooperation...  
Most of all, he missed that feeling of being invincible.  
That feeling of knowing they always got his back.  
That he was never really alone.  
Yeah, well…  
Look what that brought them.  
Nothing but misery.  
_Ugh. _

Either way, it was all the past now, no matter how much it pained him.  
But they were certainly better off without him.  
Someday, they would understand that.  
And someday, they would forget about him.  
Just like he wanted.  
To just be erased from their memories.  
To fade away.  
As if he never even existed.

* * *

Oh my god, you guys...  
Did you honestly think that I'd kill Vinnie?  
Well, truth be told, I kind of wanted you to think that.  
So mean.  
Hehe.  
Sorry.


	19. Chapter 19

Hey you guys!

Glad to see that you're all okay.  
Thanks for the reviews, once again!  
They keep me going in this world where writer blocks rule, that's for sure. :)

Not much to tell, I mean, it's not like that living in an almost complete lockdown is very exciting, hehe.  
So, let's just continue with the story.  
Enjoy and feel free to leave a review once you're done, always very much appreciated, but no pressure, of course.

Stay safe out there and till next time!

Later dudes!

* * *

**Chapter 19**

"Ouch!", Kiwi squeaked as she wrapped her fingers around Mika's little fist that was now pulling on her black hair with a strength she never thought possible for a baby of his age.  
Then again, this was no human baby but a full-blooded Martian Cave Mouse, so how could she possibly know anything about his abilities?  
Well, she knew now.  
He was as strong as a fully-grown human and tears jumped in her eyes when Modo's son pulled even harder, crowing with excitement.  
"Well, I'm glad at least one of us is having fun", the human girl muttered under her breath as she pried the little hand open and relief washed over her when he let go of her hair and grabbed her finger instead.

But that relief soon vanished into thin air when he tried to bend her finger in a way that was simply not possible.  
"No, no, no, no, Mika, that is _not _how fingers are supposed to move…"  
Right before she thought he would break it, a light-brown-furred hand grabbed Mika's wrist and after a soft squeeze, the headstrong baby let go of Kiwi's finger, who now quickly did a few steps back to create some distance, somehow scared to be torn apart by this small creature that looked so cute but clearly was a danger to her, being the fragile human she was.

"Mika… be kind to your auntie. She ain't as tough as you are, trouper", Harley told the small Martian boy with a smile on her face and after pushing a rattle made of some kind of indestructible material into his grabby little hands, she looked at Kiwi, her blue eyes twinkling in amusement.  
"And you oughta be more careful, Kiwi. Going to the doctor because a baby broke your finger ain't no story you wanna bring back home, not even as a human."  
The human girl snorted in response as she sat down on one of the chairs in Amira's lab.  
"Ha ha, very funny. How the hell was I supposed to know that Martian babies are like piglets with superpowers? Geez."  
"What are piglets?", Harley asked in return as she slightly tilted her head, her big ears twitching.  
Kiwi looked up and opened her mouth, but when she saw the way Harley looked at her, she suddenly couldn't find the words anymore, for the resemblance between her and Vinnie was striking all of a sudden and sadness already washed over her again.  
She quickly turned her gaze the other way as she stood up and walked over to the window, her arms wrapped around her waist, holding herself tightly.  
"Never mind. When is Amira coming back?"

Harley looked at the tensed back of the human girl and heaved a sigh in dismay.  
She and Kiwi had become good friends since that awful day and everything that followed and to say that she was worried about her friend was an understatement.  
She was just so… _lost_.  
They say that time heals all wounds, but not this one.  
It was too deep.  
Of course, as time went by, there were small moments of happiness.  
Moments when she seemed fine.  
But then something happened, something that reminded her of him and _wham_, the moment was over and she was completely lost again.  
It broke Harley's heart every time she witnessed this sudden transformation, but she was completely powerless here.  
She had tried everything to help her forget.  
But the wound was simply too deep.

That same sense of powerlessness now made her ears droop and she looked at Mika, for he was usually able to cheer her up.  
But just not today.  
"How the hell should I know? I have no idea how long it takes to plant some stupid flowers", she eventually answered Kiwi's question, way sharper than she intended and she closed her eyes for a moment, cursing herself for being this blunt.  
She didn't want to react this way, but that always seemed to happen when she was upset about something.  
And she was upset, alright.  
Ever since the day he left, she was upset.  
He never should've left.  
Not like this.

After all, she was confronted with Kiwi's pain almost every day.  
She saw what his departure did to the human girl.  
How she was trapped in that awful place between hope and resignation.  
Hope that he would come back, one day.  
That he would return to her.  
It was hope that stopped her from moving on.  
And she _hated _him for it.  
For trapping her like that.  
Even despite her deep-rooted love for him, she hated him.  
It was beyond confusing.  
But she knew one thing.  
She was never going to forgive him for leaving.  
_Never_.

Kiwi's lower lip trembled when she heard Harley's angry tone of voice, but she managed to stop herself from defending Vinnie, which was useless, she had learned that the hard way.  
It was a conversation they had numerous times already and it always ended the same.  
Anger.  
Resentment.  
_A broken heart…  
_She didn't blame Harley, though.  
For being angry.  
She knew that was because the female mouse cared about her.  
And she was grateful that she did.  
She could use all the friends she had to get through this dark time.  
She needed them to keep the darkness, the one that threatened to overwhelm her almost every day, on a safe distance.  
To stop herself from doing something stupid.  
Like jumping out of this window, for instance…

"You need to forget about him, Kiwi. He ain't worth it. Not anymore."  
Kiwi closed her eyes for a moment.  
_Here we go again…  
_"You know I can't."  
"Then try harder."  
Slowly, Kiwi opened her eyes again, her heartbeat already increasing.  
"It's not that simple."  
"Oh, trust me, it is."  
Clenching her fists, Kiwi stared at the outstretched desert, trying very hard to keep her calm.  
But it was hard.

Why kept everyone telling her that she needed to forget about him?  
Did they not know?  
How could she forget about him if she wasn't complete without having him by her side?  
No matter what he would do to her, she would _never _be able to forget him.  
And frankly, it made her sick.  
She _hated _herself for it.  
For being this… _dependent_.  
No one could hate her more for being this stupid and dependent than she already did.  
She didn't need someone else to rub it in her face, over and over again.

_God_.  
He just needed to come back.  
To come home.  
So she could hold him.  
Smell him.  
See him  
_Feel _him.  
Jesus, what did it take to just live her life without him by her side?  
To ignore this maddening and agonizing pain?  
She was driving herself crazy, she knew, and yet, she had no idea how to stop it.

Well, there was one thing that could stop it, but that same one thing was the exact reason why she was being this broken _and _was so far away from her that she didn't even feel him anymore.  
The connection was broken.  
And whether it was the distance or he himself breaking it because he left her for good this time, the result was the same.  
She was devastated.  
Beyond that.  
Lonely.  
Desperate.  
Empty.  
Vulnerable.  
_Weak…_

Suddenly, she felt a warm hand on her shoulder.  
"Kiwi... I know how much you love him. You know I do. And I know how hard it is to forget about him. But it's been over a year… You gotta move on, sweetie. If you can't forget about him, then at least try to move on. He has had enough time."  
Kiwi's heart skipped a beat when she heard these words, for it were different ones than Harley normally used and she couldn't stop her curiosity from being piqued, even though she simultaneously knew that she didn't want to hear it.  
Still, she slowly turned around to face her best friend.  
Her best friend who only wanted the best for her, that she knew.  
"What are you trying to say here?", she asked with narrowed eyes, her heart pounding in her chest.

Harley heaved a sigh and reached out her hand.  
"I don't think he's coming back, Kiwi. Not now. Not ever", she answered straight to the point as she tucked a strand of hair behind Kiwi's ear, thereby exposing the earring that was the only thing left of their connection.  
Husband and wife.  
Till death do them part…  
_Right_.  
Life really was deceiving.

Kiwi swallowed with difficulty as her eyes darted to Mika, who was playing with his rattle, not aware of the pain he was surrounded by, which was a good thing.  
Looking at him, she realized that this was actually the first time that someone was being completely honest with her.  
That someone had the nerve to say that one thing out loud.  
That one thing they all thought but kept to themselves because it was simply too painful to share.  
Because saying it out loud would make it real.  
_Tangible_.

But now Harley took the leap of faith.  
And it was like a breath of fresh air, to be honest.  
Which was crazy.  
Because the truth was beyond crushing.  
It almost took her breath away and yet, deep down inside, she knew that Harley was right.  
Actually, she had always known it but had kept it thoroughly hidden in the back of her mind.  
In the deepest reaches of her heart.

_Until now.  
_And now, it was time to face the painful truth.  
No more running.  
No more hiding.  
He was gone.  
And he was never coming back.  
It was a fact.  
She had lost him forever.  
Now all she needed to do was move on...  
_Right_.  
Since when was life ever this simple?

"I… I just don't know how to move on, Harley… Even if I wanted to, I just… I can't... I'm just so _lost_ without him, it's crazy…", she stammered as tears blurred her vision, her voice trembling as she tried to hold herself together with everything she had in her, for she was sick and tired to be so unstable.  
To be the victim.  
But it was hard.  
It was so goddamn hard.

Harley's brows switched to a position that made her look sadder than ever and she pulled Kiwi in her arms.  
"Come here, you stupid human", she mumbled with a voice thick of emotion and for a moment, she just held the human girl tightly, clearly needing the time to grab herself together before she was able to continue.  
"I know it's hard, but I'm here to help you. So is Throttle. And Modo. And Amira. Jax. Neo. Flash. Even Carbine. We're all here for you. You're one of us now. We're family. And I wish I had the answer to all this, I wish I could tell you how to move on, but I can't. You need to figure that out by yourself…"

As she listened to Harley's voice, Kiwi suddenly realized something and she slowly untangled herself so she could look the female Freedom Fighter in the eye.  
"You've moved on. You did the unthinkable... How? How did you do it?", she asked, her voice hardly more than a whisper in the wind.  
But Harley sadly shook her head with hanging ears, tears in her usually bright blue eyes.  
"I've never moved on. I mean, look at me", she snorted with a sad smile.  
"I'm a wreck. Broken. It's too late for me. But you… you still have a chance. Don't make the same mistake I made, Kiwi. Live. Live your life the fullest. It's too short to waste in regret."  
"I want to. Trust me, I do. But I just don't know how…", Kiwi sobbed, deeply affected by Harley's honesty.  
This was probably the first time since they met that the Martian female was being this honest, this sincere.  
The first time that she opened up, exposing herself in the process and Kiwi was deeply humbled that Harley trusted her enough to share her pain with her.

"You'll figure it out, I just know you do. I've seen your strength. You can do this. You just have to believe in it. To believe in yourself. You're so much more than that girl with him by her side. You don't need him to hold your hand. If only you could see that..."  
She then gave Kiwi a sad but soothing smile.  
"I mean, look at what you've accomplished already. You've built up a life on a planet which you only knew from TV. You helped us fight a war that wasn't yours. You could've walked away, but you didn't. You fought. You gave everything you had in you and I want you to do it again. I want you to fight, Kiwi…"  
"But I couldn't have done it without him… Don't you see? I'm _nothing_ without him!", and the human girl burst into tears, her body shaking in Harley's arms.  
This despair, this agonizing despair was killing her.

But Harley wasn't impressed, in fact, this reaction only made her more determined to get through to her friend.  
This had gone on long enough.  
It was time to push a little harder.  
After all, what did she have to lose?  
Things were already fucked up.  
There was simply nothing that could make it worse.  
_Nothing. _

So, she firmly grabbed Kiwi by the shoulders, who looked back a bit startled by this sudden change in behavior.  
"You need to snap out of this, missy. You're dragging yourself down into this black hole and trust me, if you stay there long enough, there won't be a way back out of it. Now listen carefully. You ain't here because of him. You're here because you _choose_ to be here. You and you alone. Mars is your home now, along with everything that comes with it. So you better get used to it, because we ain't going nowhere. We're here, and we will _always_ be here to support you. You're not alone, sweetie, and don't you forget about that…"  
After letting go of her shoulders, she gently took Kiwi's face in her hands.  
"And I promise you, right here, right now, that one day, you'll be alright. One way or another. But you _will_ be alright. As long as you don't give up. _Fight_."

Kiwi stared at the light-brown-furred mouse as silent tears still streamed down her face, but the words, these truthful words, already made their way to her brain and it felt like she got slapped in the face.  
Maybe Harley was right.  
This was her home now.  
Her life.  
It didn't matter how she got her, or why.  
She was here now.  
_Mars_.  
All she had to do was find a purpose again.  
But was she able to do that without having that obnoxiously loud yet super sweet macho mouse by her side?  
Despite this wake-up call, she wasn't sure.  
God, it felt as if she had to learn how to walk again.  
To walk alone…

_No_.  
She wasn't alone.  
Harley had just pointed it out to her.  
She had a family.  
A family who cared about her.  
Who was there for her when she needed them.  
Who didn't flee the moment things got tough, the fact if he was to blame disregarded.  
He had fled, after all.  
He had left her alone.  
They didn't.  
They were here.  
To guard her and to guide her.  
And they would always be here.  
_Always._

A tear slowly rolled down her cheek as she made a decision.  
A decision which pained her more than she would ever say out loud.  
But after being on this road for over more than a year now, it was time to take the exit.  
The time for being this helpless little lamb was over, even though the thought alone of letting him go crushed her at the same time.  
But there wasn't really a choice.  
_One last tear…_

She was standing on a crossroad, once again.  
Left or right.  
Light or darkness.  
Life or death.  
She had chosen darkness, once.  
But not this time.  
She wasn't going to make that mistake again.  
One should always choose light.  
_Always_.

And so, she looked up again, straight into Harley's blue eyes and she nodded.  
It was hardly visible and more than fragile, but it was there.  
The first step to recovery.  
To a new life.  
She was beyond scared.  
But they were here.  
Her family.  
They would always be here.

_Life…  
_It was like a journey.  
It came with trial and error.  
But one day, the road she walked on would be less bumpy.  
Easier to walk.  
Less falling.  
More climbing.  
One day, she would be herself again.  
Independent.  
Strong.  
Happy…  
_Home_.  
She was home.

_**…**_

Meanwhile, near the city of Brimstone -which was already halfway of being fully reconstructed- Modo's bike skidded to a halt and the grey-furred mouse pulled off his helmet.  
Standing on this hill, he had a perfect view over the outstretched desert and he took a moment to take it in.  
No matter how many times he'd seen it, it still managed to amaze him every single time.  
Throttle stopped next to him with softly shrieking brakes and also removed his helmet before he took a deep breath through the nose.  
The air was fresh again.  
Devoid of the awful scent of death.  
It was the smell of freedom that now prevailed and he somehow couldn't get enough of it.

Modo stretched his back as his gaze wandered to the city on his right.  
The proud city of Brimstone.  
Cities fell in war.  
They always did.  
Brimstone had been the last to fall in the war with the Plutarkians.  
But cities got rebuilt.  
They always did.  
And Brimstone would be the first one.

Freedom meant peace.  
But it didn't mean that the job was done.  
Far from it, actually.  
Rebuilding an almost completely ruined planet took a lot of hard work.  
Everyone did their part, no exceptions.  
Peace created unity.  
But even in times of peace, a little break never hurt anyone.

"It's just so quiet… If you exclude the destruction, it's almost like nothing happened…", Modo sighed as he leaned on the handlebars of his precious bike, still taking in his surroundings a bit awed.  
"Yeah… Even after a year, I'm still not entirely used to it", Throttle agreed, now lying on his bike as he chewed on a dried blade of grass, gazing at the pinkish sky.  
"Me neither. Maybe we never will. I dunno… Maybe it just takes more time."  
"Who knows?"  
"Guess only the universe does…"  
_That goddamn universe_.

It had been Modo's idea to go out for a ride to clear their troubled minds.  
Well, most of all, to clear Throttle's troubled mind, for it had been obvious to him that his tan-furred friend needed some time away from the base, if only for a little while.  
Peace was peaceful.  
But it didn't take away the horror that came with war.  
It didn't erase the things they had seen.  
It didn't bring back those who had fallen in the name of Mars.  
It was still all there.  
It would always be there.  
Therefore, Modo didn't have the illusion that a ride was sufficient enough to take it all away, but it at least gave some liberating space.

His one eye wandered from the breathtaking view to his left leg, which looked unnaturally thin in his wide jeans.  
Well, perhaps that was because it _was _unnatural.  
They all had lost something that day.  
They all suffered from the consequences, all in their own way.  
He glanced at his tan-furred bro out of the corner of his eye, who was still staring at the sky, his tail draped over his bike like a lifeless snake.  
They all were crippled by Stoker's death.  
But no one took it as hard as Throttle.  
Not even... _you know who_.  
The bond between these two had been something no one ever really understood.  
Modo had never even _tried_ to understand it either, for some things weren't meant to be understood.  
Some things were just the way they were, and that's that.

But then Mika was born and it suddenly all made sense.  
He immediately understood.  
The bond between Throttle and Stoker was just as tight as a bond between a father and son.  
As a result of this epiphany, his respect for Throttle had grown even bigger, as far as that goes.  
Because the pain the tan-furred mouse felt must be unbearable.  
The thought alone of losing Mika…  
The pain that followed didn't come even _close_ to the pain he'd felt after losing Rimfire, a thing he never had thought possible.  
But he knew now.  
His friend and former leader suffered severely.  
And yet, he was still going strong.  
He was still standing, although burdened, but standing nevertheless.

But then, on top of it all, there was... _Vinnie_.  
Who had left at a time when they all needed each other more than ever.  
Modo's eye already flickered red by only thinking about his youngest bro.  
By thinking about all the pain he had caused by leaving them behind without even looking back.  
_Selfish_.  
He always had been.  
Modo just never expected him to be _this_ selfish.  
Apparently, you could only know a mouse so much.  
He thought he knew Vinnie.  
So yeah, maybe he should've seen it coming.  
Throttle did.  
Perhaps he had been naive...

Either way, it was anger that prevailed when someone only thought so much of pronouncing Vinnie's name.  
That was no secret.  
What was, was that underneath this anger, thoroughly hidden, there was so much more going on.  
So many mixed feelings.  
But underneath all that, he was simply heartbroken.  
Despite everything, he missed his young bro terribly.  
They all did.  
His departure had left a great void behind, one that no one could fill.  
No one would ever be able to replace him.  
_No one..._

"You think he's ever coming back?", Modo broke the silence as he rubbed away a spot on the otherwise spotless paint of his bike.  
A long silence followed, but Modo waited patiently as he inconspicuously kept a close eye on his tan-furred friend, who now slowly got upright and sat down sideways on his bike, his right foot resting on the footrest, the other one on the saddle.  
With his elbow resting on his left knee, he eventually looked his bro in the eye.  
"No. I don't think he will."  
Modo nodded in response, trying very hard to keep his emotions under control.  
"I figured as much."

Unfortunately, his heavy voice trembled, giving away his inner battle and Throttle heaved a sigh.  
"I'm sorry, big fella. But I can't lie to you. I've promised to always be honest with you. And right now, I don't think he's coming back. But who knows?"  
"You do. You know him better than anyone else. You connected with him after Harley disappeared and stayed connected until he met Kiwi…", Modo contradicted, pointing out the obvious.  
Throttle ran a hand through his hair and stared into the direction of Brimstone.  
"It wasn't until he met Kiwi", he said softly and Modo narrowed his one eye in confusion.  
"What do ya mean?"  
"My connection with him broke right after he left. Not when he met Kiwi. Stoker…", but the tan-furred mouse suddenly trailed off when he said Stoker's name and Modo gave him the time he needed to grab himself together.  
"Stoker once told me that our connection was one similar to that of brothers. That's why we could stay connected even after he connected with Kiwi… Either way, it's gone now. Vinnie is gone. It's time we make peace with it."

His voice gave away the pain that these words caused and Modo grinded his teeth.  
"Forget about him, ya mean? Just like he wants us to do? Why on Mars would we give him what he wants? Why don't we go out there and drag his sorry ass back with us, preferably on his tail?"  
"Because we can't force him to be here if he doesn't _want_ to be here, Modo. You know how he is. It would never work. Besides, I never said that we need to forget about him. How is that even possible? He's a master in taking _'how to leave an impression'_ to a whole other level, after all…", he chuckled the last part, for a moment sucked back in time, thinking at all the crazy things their younger bro had done and Modo smiled too, he just couldn't stop himself.  
Oh momma, the things he would do to hear that high-pitched laugh again...

But then, they both snapped back to reality and their smile vanished like snow under the sun.  
Throttle took off his glasses to rub his eyes.  
He was just so tired.  
"We just need to find a way to live our lives without him..."  
If only life was that simple.  
If only they both could just accept the ugly truth that their lives were never going to be the same again.  
Not without having that loudmouth around to stir things up.  
But that was hard.  
Almost impossible.  
They were simply incomplete without him.  
But he had made his choice.  
And now they needed to do the same.  
If only it didn't hurt so much...

Modo looked at his bro with growing worry, not knowing how to make things better for him.  
For all of them.  
Without really realizing it, his bionic hand slid into one of his saddlebags, the metal fingers slowly enclosed the file that was carefully hidden in the leather bag.  
Maybe the time had come to tell Throttle about what he had found out…  
"Bro, I'm sorry, it's just… I'm sorry", Throttle broke him out his thoughts, probably taking his silence as a bad sign after what he said and Modo pulled back his hand as if got bitten by a Martian Squirrel Bat, somehow startled by this sudden intervention.

When he looked at his left, Throttle was still sitting sideways on his bike, but a bit more tensed with a worried look on his face, as if he was scared that the grey-furred giant was angry with him for being honest.  
But Modo wasn't.  
How could he be angry?  
He only appreciated the fact that the tan-furred mouse didn't lie to him.  
It wasn't his fault that the truth was just as painful as a knife cutting through your soul.  
None of this was his fault.  
And yet, he was carrying all the sorrow of the world on his shoulders.  
Life just wasn't fair.  
But no one ever said it was.

"Modo? You okay, bro?", Throttle now asked a bit hesitant when his older bro still didn't respond.  
Heaving a sigh, Modo reached in his bag again and pulled out the file.  
It wasn't more than three pages, but Modo held it tightly as if it was the bible itself.  
Throttle said nothing, clearly a bit confused by all this, but still, he didn't even ask what it was that he was holding as if his life depended on it.  
No, he just looked at his older bro, waiting for him to begin his explanation, calm as ever and Modo suddenly got cold feet, for he knew better.  
His tan-furred bro was far from calm.

There was a tornado of emotions whirling inside of him, but during his life, he had perfected his poker face down to the last detail.  
Therefore, his face was as blank as a page in his diary.  
If he even had a diary, of course.  
Which he hadn't.  
_Of course.  
_But in for a penny, in for a pound.  
There was no going back now.  
"I came across this file when I was at work, well, Rose gave it to me, actually and… well, maybe ya need to see it for yourself…", and he reached out the file with a trembling hand.

Frowning, Throttle leaned forward, resting his weight on the foot that was still on the footrest of his bike and took it from him, his hand as steady as it always was.  
Modo studied his tan-furred bro as he read the file, but as mentioned before, his poker face was simply perfect and gave absolutely nothing away.  
After waiting for what felt like an eternity, Throttle looked up, his face still blank.  
"Are you sure about this?", he asked, but his voice was huskier than usual, the first sign that the contents of the file affected him deeply, just like Modo had expected and a nagging feeling of regret gnawed on his insides.  
Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all.  
But he answered the question honestly, because they were bro's.  
Family.  
And family didn't lie to each other.  
"Positive, bro. I checked the details myself. There's no mistake."

The tan-furred mouse nodded as he carefully closed the file, for a moment completely preoccupied with this simple act and Modo shifted his weight as he became more and more uncomfortable.  
He had no idea what was going on inside Throttle's head right now and he suddenly was convinced he'd made a big mistake by showing this file to him.  
But it was too late now.  
The damage had already been done.  
He couldn't just erase this moment and move on.  
_If only...  
_His friend and former leader was still staring at the now closed file when he finally opened his mouth again.  
"How long have you known this?"  
The grey-furred giant shrugged a bit evasive.  
"About two weeks now, I guess…"

Again, Throttle nodded, but he then slightly tilted his head as he looked up and Modo already knew what was coming before he even opened his mouth.  
"Why didn't you tell me?"  
It was a good question.  
A fair one, too.  
One that, again, deserved an honest answer.  
"I was scared it would hurt you too much. I didn't wanna dredge up the past, that same past that makes ya suffer in a way I can hardly bear to witness… I guess it was my way of protecting ya… But now, I'm suddenly not that sure anymore. Ya know, to keep it from you… I dunno, man, I don't know what's wrong or right anymore. I just thought you deserved to know about this…", he tried to explain his intentions, but he trailed off when Throttle gave him a warm smile.  
"I really appreciate your concern, big fella, but this…-", and he held up the file.  
"This is exactly what we need. Come on, let's head back to the base. Kiwi needs to see this."  
And after carefully putting the file under his black leather jacket, he put on his helmet and hit the accelerator.

Modo looked after him, for a moment too stunned to get his body into movement.  
But then, a smile appeared on his face as relief washed over him and he too put on his helmet.  
"Guess my old grey-furred momma was right all along, huh Lil' Darling? Honesty really _is_ the best policy."  
His bike beeped back in agreement and after one last glance at Brimstone, Modo followed his tan-furred bro back to the base.

**_…_**

Kiwi was hanging listless in her chair, playing with a pen, her thoughts miles away when someone suddenly knocked on the door of Amira's lab and she looked up, only to see Throttle and Modo walking inside.  
"Oh, hey guys… How was your ride?", she asked as she now leaned back in her chair to stretch her sore back after sitting in one position too long, her hands behind her head and trying very hard not to look at Modo's small limp, for it reminded her too much of things she _so_ didn't want to think about.  
Not anymore.  
Well, not twenty-four seven.  
_At the very least, goddammit.  
_But preferably never.

"It was great, Kiwi-girl. Exactly what we needed", Modo answered as he looked around him, clearly searching for something.  
_Or someone.  
_"Harley is putting Mika to bed as we speak and Amira is still out with Shaylon to plant that flower with that name I can't pronounce, no matter how hard I try", Kiwi clued him in, suppressing a yawn and the grey-furred mouse nodded in response as he took place on the chair at the other side of the table.  
Throttle sat down next to him and they both looked at Kiwi in a way that immediately increased her suspicions.

Slowly, she leaned forward, looking from one to another with narrowed eyes.  
"I know those faces... What happened this time? The bikes, or rather Mars, still in one piece?"  
Modo was about to answer something along the lines of; _'Hey, we ain't as crude as Vinnie'_, but he stopped himself right on time and coughed a bit uncomfortable to cover it up.  
Kiwi studied him for a while with a frown on her face, but then Throttle distracted her by reaching into his jacket and she saw him pull something out that looked a lot like a file.  
He put it on the table and pushed it towards her with only using his index finger.  
"Modo just gave this to me. I think you need to see it."

Kiwi looked confused at the file, not understanding why Throttle wanted her to see something from which she now knew came from Modo's work.  
His work, that was his whole life now.  
Soon after the Plutarkians were gone, Modo had told them he wanted to do something good, something that would make a difference.  
Something he always wanted to do, but never could because of the war.  
To work with children.  
His biggest dream ever since he was old enough to take care of those who were young, innocent and defenseless.  
Ironically, it had been the same war that initially prevented him from following his heart that had given him a once in a lifetime opportunity, one he had taken with both hands and tail.

"There are so many children out there, children who are born in hell. Children who only know pain and misery", he had told her when she had asked him about his plans.  
"The way I see it, they are the living reminders of all the good we have failed to. That's why I know, why we _all_ know, deep in our hearts, that it are our children too. We owe them fathers, mothers, a family… We owe them the loving home they never knew. Someone has to stand up for them. For a chance to live."  
And so it happened.  
Modo had stood up.  
And as it turned out, Rose had shared his vision more than anyone else on this base and had been hell-bent on helping him to achieve the impossible, namely; find every orphan or child in need on this planet and give them a place to call home.  
Of course, Modo had welcomed her with open arms and they were a team ever since.  
Kiwi had nothing to do with this, nothing more than encouraging her grey-furred friend to follow his heart.  
So why was this file so important for her to see?  
Well, only one way to find out.

After a last glance at both male mice, who looked back with a blank face, she licked the tip of her index finger and opened the file.  
As her eyes flew over the lines, her heartbeat increased with every word she read.  
Once she was done, her heart almost exploded out of her chest and she closed the file with trembling hands.  
Tears already blurred her vision again, her determination to forget about him already vanished like smoke in the wind again.  
This changed everything.  
_Everything_.  
She stared at her shaking hands, for a moment too shocked to say anything, when she suddenly felt a warm hand on hers.  
A tan-furred hand.

She looked up, straight into Throttle's face and she saw the same hope that she felt.  
The same hope that now spread through her body as fast as lighting once seeing that she wasn't the only one who concluded that this was like the so-called plot twist one only expected to see in a movie.  
Certainly not in real life.  
But it was there.  
The seed had been planted again.  
And as it rapidly expanded, she suddenly felt the strength she had missed so much.  
The strength that had brought her here, on Mars.  
The strength that had once defined her.  
But there was still that tiny amount of doubt.  
She had to know for sure.  
Only then would she allow herself to believe.  
To transform a faint chance into _real _hope.

So, she took a deep breath as she wiped away her tears before she looked up at Modo.  
"So, if I understand this correctly, you know where she is. Am I right?", she asked, her voice as steady as a rock now.  
She had a plan again.  
And _damn_, it felt good.  
Modo glanced at Throttle for a moment, who nodded in return, before he looked back at Kiwi.  
"That's right."  
"I wanna see her."  
"Are you sure that's a good idea? I mean…", but Kiwi cut him off from the moment she heard the pity in his voice.  
She _hated_ pity.

She did understand why it was there though.  
He was scared that all this would make things worse.  
That it would break her.  
But he didn't understand that she already was.  
Broken.  
And something that's already broken, could simply not break again.  
So how could this possibly make things worse?  
Nothing could.  
At this point, it could only make it better.

"I wasn't asking, Modo. I wanna see her. Now."  
Again, Modo gave Throttle an unsettled look and Kiwi was about to lose her patience when the grey-furred giant heaved a sigh in defeat.  
"Okay. If that's what you want. But we're coming with ya. This ain't something you do on your own."  
"Fine by me!", Kiwi called back, already halfway the room, feeling more alive than she had felt this entire year, but when she looked over her shoulder, she saw that the two male mice were still sitting at the table.  
Rolling her eyes, she turned around and clapped her hands.  
"_Hello_?! Why are you still sitting there? Take action, Freedom Fighters! It's time for us to rock and ride!"

And she almost ran out of the room, soon followed by Throttle and Modo, who, despite the situation and their worries, couldn't stop themselves from being impressed with Kiwi's spirit.  
They could only hope that she wouldn't be disappointed again, for they both weren't sure how many blows the human girl was able to take before she would pass that horrible point of no return.  
To be consumed by the darkness that was a part of her, whether she liked it or not.  
Time would tell.  
And time only.


	20. Chapter 20

Hey you guys...

Thank you so much for the reviews!  
For every single one of them.  
Warms my heart, really.

So, I took some time off writing to reread Breaking The Habit. It's been a while since I wrote the last chapter of that beast of a story, so I figured a little refreshing of my memory couldn't hurt anyone.  
Never had I thought that I got sucked back in the story as I did (despite the toe-curling English XD) and man, I just _luh-ove_ the bond I created between Kiwi and Vinnie.  
Really, I never give myself any credits for anything, but their love hit me straight in the heart, so I think I did a good job there.  
Crazy, huh?  
I mean, I wrote it myself.  
I was there.  
But like I said, it's been a while.  
I kind of forgot how well they fit, hehe.

Aaaaaanyway.  
On with the story.  
I hope you guys like it, despite that it's all a bit sad and all.  
Trust me, it will get better, one day.  
That's all I'm gonna say for now.

Feel free to leave a review, always very much appreciated.  
Till next time, my loyal readers.  
Thanks for your support and stay safe, y'all.

Later dudes!

* * *

**Chapter 20**

"Here it is", Modo said as he pointed at a house completely made out of the characteristic red stone that defined Mars.  
Kiwi pulled off her helmet before she stepped off Throttle's bike, looking at the house with awe.  
It was huge, even for Martian standards, but elegant at the same time.  
Her gaze wandered over the porch, the balcony above it, the many windows, the big front door…  
"It's beautiful", she whispered, deeply impressed by the majesty the house radiated.  
It reminded her of the country house of her grandparents, where her mother grew up in peace, not knowing how cruel and abruptly her life was going to end, years later.

But now wasn't the time to think about that.  
Perhaps there was never a good time to think about that.  
Perhaps she needed to stop living in the past and be here, in the present.  
As in; _really _here.  
But wasn't that why she was standing here in the first place, staring at this house that reminded her of the past but contained a chance for the future?  
Her future?  
And to take it even a step further; _their _future?  
_Yes.  
_Yes, it was.  
But one step at a time.  
There was no need to get ahead of herself.

"It's great, huh?", Modo broke her out of her thoughts, standing next to her with folded arms.  
"How on Mars is it possible that it's still standing?", Kiwi wondered out loud as she shifted her weight to her left leg, her hand resting on her hip.  
"I guess we just got lucky, or something like that... ", the grey-furred giant shrugged, scratching the back of his head a bit sheepishly.  
Kiwi glanced at him as she arched a brow.  
"Luck? What the hell is luck?"  
"Never heard of it", Throttle chuckled a bit darkly as he joined them with his hands in his pockets.  
"Now you mention it, bro, me neither. Guess I lost it there for a moment", Modo snickered as he walked to the small fence that surrounded the property.

"Anyway, this is one of the houses we've found where the children can stay to fully unwind and when the time is there, we find them a suitable and loving home where they can spend the rest of their lives in peace and quietness", he explained as he opened the small stone gate and stepped on the path that led to the front door of the big house.  
"But who's taking care of them while they're here?", Kiwi asked curiously as she followed Modo to the house, soon followed by Throttle.  
After all, when they weren't on a search mission, Modo and Rose still lived on the Freedom Fighter base, aka _'Vault Brimstone'_.  
"The houses are run by volunteers only. People Rose and I came across on our search for children who need our help. Of course, we screen them before we leave them alone with the kids, but you'd be surprised by the number of people, _good _people, who are willing to leave their own home and family behind to move in, so they can be there for the children twenty-four seven. They need constant care, for most of them are severely traumatized…"

The sad tone in his voice didn't elude Kiwi and she laid a hand on his arm.  
"You're their savior, you know that right?"  
"Well, I ah… I'm doing the best I can, Kiwi ma'am", the grey-furred giant answered a bit evasive, staring at his feet.  
"You're way too modest, big guy", Kiwi smiled, shaking her head and she patted him on the back.  
"Without you, they would still be out there, lost and alone and no one would give a damn. But you do. So don't be so hard on yourself."  
"The lady is right, big fella. You're doing good work here", Throttle agreed.  
Modo had clearly no idea how to deal with all this attention, as usual, so Kiwi quickly pulled back her hand and pointed at the house again.  
"So, how many children are there?"  
"Usually around ten to fifteen, but right now, only three. But Rose and I will head out in about a week, so it will be a full house again soon", Modo answered, clearly relieved that the attention was drawn away from him.

They had now reached the house but when Modo stepped on the porch and reached for the door knocker, one of the double stone doors already opened.  
A blond-furred female Martian Mouse appeared in the doorway, giving Modo a stern look through the glasses that rested on the tip her nose and magnified her green eyes.  
If Kiwi had to guess, she was in her 60s, perhaps even 70s, making her the oldest Martian Mouse she had ever met.  
The grey hair in the blond, almost yellow fur confirmed that theory, but despite her age, this was no mouse one wanted to mess with, judging by the way she looked at Modo.

But her face soon softened and a warm smile replaced the stern look, making her look about ten years younger in only the blink of an eye.  
"Ah, Modo, it's so good to see you", she greeted the grey-furred mouse warmly as she took off her glasses and let it dangle on the bead necklace that was around her neck.  
Then, she did a few steps forward while wiping her hands on the apron she wore over her spotless yet casual outfit before she took Modo in her arms, the fact that he was about twice her size didn't seem to bother her.  
Still, even though the greeting warmed her up from the inside, it was a ridiculous sight at the same time and Kiwi quickly turned her gaze the other way to stop herself from bursting into laughter.

She glanced at Throttle out of the corner of her eye, to see him looking up at the sky as he twiddled his thumbs, clearly feeling the same as her.  
One corner of her mouth curled up, but she managed to keep herself in check.  
"It's good to see you too, Abigail ma'am. How are you holding up?", Modo broke the awkward silence and the older female let him go.  
"Oh, I'm holding up just fine, young man. Now tell me, who are your friends?", Abigail asked as she looked at Throttle and Kiwi with curiosity written upon her face.  
Kiwi cleared her throat as she did a step forward with an outstretched hand.  
"My name is Kiwi, ma'am. Nice to meet you."

Abigail quickly put her glasses back on before she took the human girl's hand in a surprisingly firm grip.  
"No, the pleasure is all mine, Kiwi. I never met a human before", and she studied Kiwi with an intensity that made the latter feel a bit uncomfortable.  
But she said nothing and let the older Martian do her thing, for she knew how mind-blowing it was to see alien life standing right in front of you.  
"Oh my, your skin is so soft and smooth… and how on Mars are you able to hear with these tiny little ears?", Abigail called out, clearly deeply impressed and she firmly but gently took Kiwi by the arm to turn her around.  
"And no tail! Most interesting…"  
Kiwi looked at Modo, who only shrugged with an apologetic look on his face.

But luckily, the Martian female let her go and focussed her attention on Throttle now, who looked back a bit reserved, as if he was scared for what was to come.  
And, as it turned out, with good reason.  
"Great moons of Mars, you look like you haven't had a good meal in days, boy. What's your name?"  
"Throttle, ma'am."  
"Well, Throttle Ma'am, let's get you inside before you collapse from hunger", and she grabbed the tan-furred mouse by the hand.  
"You're lucky I just made pot-roast, the best you have ever eaten, I can assure you. Good heavens, look how skinny you are! Don't they feed you up there? And they say that the Freedom Fighters take good care of their people", the blond-furred female babbled as she dragged Throttle with her.  
The latter gave Modo a helpless, almost cramped look and Kiwi now had to bite her lower lip to stop the hysterical laughter that bubbled up out of nowhere.

It had been so long since she had a good laugh, and she wasn't sure why this urge was there all of a sudden.  
But whatever the reason was, it was there and it felt somehow liberating.  
To be, if only for a small moment, released from her burden.  
And let's face it, the look on Throttle's face was absolutely priceless.  
Kind of like a lamb being led to the slaughter.  
Poor guy.

The woman did have a point though.  
Throttle had lost a lot of weight during the past year and he, indeed, looked like he could use a good meal.  
But she, and Modo with her, knew it needed a whole lot more than just a good meal to get the tan-furred mouse back to his old weight.  
To his old self.  
Modo must have thought the same thing at the exact same time, because he quickly blocked Abigail's path and laid a hand on her shoulder.  
"As much as we appreciate the offer, we ain't here for the food. Ma'am", he quickly added when she gave him the same stern look as when she had opened that door, but this time with narrowed eyes and Modo coughed a bit uncomfortable before giving the woman a small smile.

Kiwi shook her head in both disbelief and amusement.  
Really, who would've thought that it only took one older woman to take the famous Biker Mice From Mars by the balls, huh?  
Respect really was everything.  
After a short moment of silence, the blond-furred mouse let go of Throttle and adjusted her glasses.  
"Oh, why didn't you say so? To what do I owe this little visit then?"  
As soon as she let go of him, Throttle quickly did a few steps back, rubbing his sore hand and glancing at Abigail suspiciously.  
Kiwi giggled, she just couldn't help it.  
But to see the tough and usual unflappable leader this uncomfortable was simply too much.  
He was clearly way out of his comfort zone here.  
She quickly put a hand over her mouth and looked at Modo with her blue eyes wide open, her way of telling him that she was sorry for being this disrespectful.  
Modo only winked at her before he looked back at Abigail again.  
"We're here for Zevvi."

That was enough for Kiwi to snap back to reality and she looked at Abigail, crossing her fingers that the woman wouldn't ask who Zevvi was.  
But perhaps luck really was on their side this time, because Abigail nodded, recognition clearly visible in her green eyes and without realizing it, Kiwi let out her breath.  
She was here.  
But, next to recognition, a shadow flickered across Abigail's face.  
It was hardly visible, but it was there and Kiwi wondered why that was.  
But before she could ask, Abigail already turned around and walked to the door.  
"Sure. Follow me, I'll take you to her."  
Kiwi shared a look with Throttle, who nodded to tell her that he'd seen it too and a heavy feeling washed over the human girl.  
Could there be something wrong with Zevvi?  
Well, only one way to find out.  
And both Throttle and Kiwi quickly followed Modo and Abigail inside, the first closing the door behind him once they were all inside.

The house was even more beautiful from the inside.  
Given the fact it was completely made out of stone, it kind of felt as if they were standing in a cave.  
Or an ancient castle.  
Again, it reminded Kiwi of Hogwarts.  
Martians sure knew how to make things all cozy and warm, which was such a contrast with them being badass soldiers at the same time.  
There was a fire burning in the fireplace on their right, a large pan hanging above it, probably the great stew that Abigail had mentioned moments ago.  
Well, it sure smelled great.  
But before Kiwi had the chance to take a closer look at the interior of the house, Abigail was already halfway the stairs and Throttle gave the human girl a soft push to tell her to keep going.

As they walked up the stairs, Kiwi's heartbeat increased with every step she took.  
Even her hands were sweaty.  
She was nervous.  
Beyond nervous.  
About a thousand questions went through her mind.  
What if they were wrong?  
What if Rose was wrong?  
What if it wasn't her?  
And what if it was?  
What if it was her but it wouldn't have the snowball effect she so desperately hoped for?  
What if her future would still be empty and lonely like it was before Throttle had given her this file?  
So many questions.  
So few answers.

Before she even realized it, they were already on the landing of the first floor and without thinking, Kiwi looked at the room on her left.  
What she saw warmed her up from inside and she stopped for a moment to take a closer look.  
Two Martian children were playing with blocks, clearly having a good time.  
They couldn't be much older than 10 and when the tower they were building collapsed, they both burst out into laughter.  
The sound caressed Kiwi's heart and she closed her eyes for a moment to enjoy this sound of pure innocence.  
It reminded her of Mika, how his laughter was supposed to cheer her up but didn't because she was so lost after losing Vinnie.  
But now she felt it.  
_Hope_.  
It was crazy what hope did to a person.

But then, the laughter stopped quite abruptly and she opened her eyes again, seeing the two children staring back at her, their eyes wide open.  
Their empty eyes.  
It gave her goosebumps.  
Well, perhaps not _that_ empty.  
There was a glimpse of something else.  
They were scared, Kiwi realized and she quickly gave them a soothing smile, to tell them she wasn't here to harm them, but they both still didn't move.  
One of them was even trembling, she could tell and it broke her already broken heart.  
These poor little things.  
Damaged by the war before their life even had the chance to begin.

Abigail suddenly popped up next to her.  
"It's okay, my dear children. These people are here to visit Zevvi, not to harm you. Now, go on and play. Everything is alright", she said soothingly before she closed the door with a soft click.  
"I'm sorry you had to see that, my dear. But these children aren't normal children", and the older Martian put an arm over Kiwi's shoulders, clearly feeling her distress.  
"They're damaged. Traumatized. Most of them have seen horrific things. Things that would even give the toughest soldiers PTSD."  
The human girl glanced at the door one last time before she looked back at Abigail, touched by her warmth and love.  
"Why isn't Zevvi playing with them?", she asked a bit hesitant as she let herself be carried away by the woman who reminded her of her grandma.  
Her loving grandma.

"Because she pretty much just keeps to herself. She's… she's not like the others", Abigail answered as she guided Kiwi up the second stairs.  
The slight tremble in her voice didn't elude the clever and sensitive human, in fact, it confused her.  
"What do you mean, not like the others?"  
Abigail heaved a sigh as they came to a halt in front of a closed door.  
"You'll see…", and she knocked softly on the door.  
Kiwi looked at Modo and Throttle with worry, perhaps even fear, but they both gave her an encouraging smile and she swallowed with difficulty as she turned back to the door.  
That was still closed.  
In fact, there was no form of response whatsoever.  
"Zevvi? It's me, sweetie. Abigail. I've brought some people who would love to meet you", the older mouse spoke to the closed door, her voice warm and soft.  
But silence was all that followed and she now turned to face the three visitors, a sad glance in her green eyes.  
"Perhaps it's better if you come back another time…"

Kiwi's heart just dropped and she already shook her head as despair was about to take over.  
_Again_.  
"No, I need to see her. As in; now…", she breathed, tears already burning behind her eyes.  
_Again_.  
God, she was so sick and tired of this.  
Of being this unstable.  
When Abigail opened her mouth, Kiwi already saw that she was going to say no and there it was.  
The panic.  
The despair.  
That agonizing pain.  
It washed over her as soon as she saw her one and only chance for a better future going up in smoke.  
Without thinking, she grabbed the blond-furred mouse by the arms.  
"Please, let me see her. I can't… I don't… I just need to see her. Please…", she begged desperately, ashamed of her strong reaction at the same time.  
But it wasn't like she was in control of her emotions, because she wasn't.  
Not since he had left her.  
Alone.  
Abandoned.  
_Broken. _

"Kiwi, Zevvi ain't going anywhere. We can come back tomorrow to give it another shot", Modo started, but Kiwi violently shook her head as she kept looking at Abigail, almost burning a hole in the woman's skull with her intense blue eyes.  
"No. I need to see her now. Not tomorrow. Not the day after tomorrow. No. Today. Now. Please… You have no idea how much depends on this…"  
Her voice broke and forced her to stop talking when she suddenly felt a warm hand on her shoulder from which she knew it was Throttle's.  
"Kiwi, calm down. I know how important this is to you, it is to all of us, but we're dealing with a traumatized kid here. We can't just barge in like this. She's been through too much."  
He was right.  
Of course, he was.  
_Goddammit_.

Therefore, Kiwi let go of Abigail, trying very hard to get her emotions back under control.  
"I'm sorry, I just… I meant no disrespect…", she mumbled as she adjusted her clothes, avoiding Abigail's look.  
But then, she felt two furry fingers gently grabbing her chin, forcing her to look up, straight into Abigail's loving eyes.  
"Five minutes. You have five minutes."  
Kiwi's stomach made about ten backflips by hearing these words.  
"Are you sure? I mean, I don't wanna make things worse…"  
"Five minutes. And remember, whatever you do, don't come too close and most certainly don't touch her. Understood?"  
"Yes, ma'am."  
Abigail nodded and let her go.  
She opened the door and stepped aside to let Kiwi through.  
"Thank you", the latter whispered before she took a deep breath and stepped into the room.  
She wasn't sure what exactly had made the older Martian change her mind, but she was grateful that she did.  
Forever grateful.

When the door softly closed behind her, Kiwi rubbed her arms a bit insecure as she looked around her.  
But her eyes needed some time to get used to the dimly lit environment and so, she just stood there, her heart pounding in her chest.  
After a little while, she was able to differentiate the multiple pieces of furniture in the room and her gaze wandered over the closet in the corner, the two big windows across the room that were hidden behind heavy curtains that stopped the sunlight from entering.  
Movement on her right caught her attention and she slowly turned her head as she held in her breath.  
And there she was.  
_Zevvi_.

She was hiding behind the bed, but her head now popped up from behind it, her ears flat to the side of her head.  
As soon as Kiwi laid eyes on her, her heart just stopped and she put a hand over her mouth to stop the gasp that almost made its way out of her mouth.  
Despite the poorly lit room, she was perfectly able to see the ruby-red eyes staring back at her and holy shit, the resemblance was striking.  
Beyond that.  
It was as if he was looking back at her and her legs just gave out.  
With her hand still over her mouth, she slid down against the door as silent tears streamed down her face, her eyes fixated on the young mouse, who hadn't even moved.  
The shape of her face.  
The snow-white fur.  
Those piercing eyes...

_God_.  
It was her.  
Mireya's daughter.  
They were twins, after all.  
_Identical _twins.  
It shouldn't be that big of a surprise that this girl looked so much alike Vinnie.  
So much, that it took her breath away.  
It felt as if he was here.  
Looking at her.

_Fucking hell_.  
She missed him so much.  
She just wanted him to hold her.  
But he didn't.  
Because he was gone.  
He had left her.  
_All alone_…

Sorrow washed over her again and she buried her head in her hands, her body shuddering from crying.  
She didn't want to scare this girl, this little girl, who was clearly terrified of her.  
This girl, that was Vinnie's cousin.  
His blood.  
His only living relative.  
Being in one room with her made her feel closer to him than she had felt this entire year and it simply overwhelmed her.  
She just couldn't stop crying, her heart yearning for his arms around her.  
_If only he was here…_

"Why are you crying?"  
Kiwi froze when she heard the small voice, a voice as fragile as glass and she slowly looked up.  
Zevvi was still sitting behind the bed, but now leaning on the edge with her arms, her chin resting on her folded hands as she looked at Kiwi with those big eyes that were so familiar.  
Despite her fear, she seemed to be a bit worried and that was just enough to give Kiwi the strength to get herself back under control.  
She didn't mean a child, a traumatized child, to worry about her.  
That's like putting the world upside down.  
And so, she wiped off her face as she sat a bit more upright, giving herself a firm mental shake.  
"Because you look like someone I know", she answered the question honestly with a voice thick of emotion.  
Even though this was only a child, that didn't necessarily mean she had to be lied to.

Zevvi tilted her head a bit, her ears now upright and twitching and Kiwi closed her eyes for a moment to stop herself from breaking down again.  
_Jesus_.  
This was crazy.  
"But… then why are you crying? Was this person not nice to you?", Zevvi asked a bit confused and Kiwi smiled, she couldn't help it.  
"He was very nice to me. In fact, he's the kindest person I ever met. But he needed to be somewhere else."  
"So… you miss him? Is that why you're crying?", the white-furred child concluded after a long silence and Kiwi nodded as she swallowed away her tears.  
"Yes."

For a moment, Zevvi studied her with a seriousness that just wasn't healthy for a child of her age.  
But then, she slowly climbed on the bed, keeping a close eye on the human girl who still sat on the floor, leaning against the door.  
Kiwi held in her breath and did everything within her power not to move, for she didn't want to scare this child even more than she already did.  
But Zevvi didn't stop.  
Slowly, she climbed off the bed and walked over to Kiwi, approaching her with caution but also with a certain determination.  
When she reached the human, she kneeled next to her and, much to Kiwi's surprise, climbed on her lap.  
"I'm sorry you miss him", Zevvi told her as she wrapped her little arms around Kiwi's waist and pressed herself against her.

After a short hesitation and with Abigail's warning still fresh in her memory, Kiwi slowly wrapped her arms around the white-furred child, who was shaking like leaf but was, despite her fear, here to comfort her.  
"Me too…", she whispered as she carefully buried her nose in Zevvi's long hair.  
Her white hair, with black strands, just like her mother.  
Jesus, she even smelled like him.  
This was beyond crazy.  
"I miss my mommy. But Abigail told me that she's in heaven now. That she's helping Eguzkia with taking care of all the children on Mars. And that she's with me, right here…", and Zevvi pointed at a place close to her heart.  
"But I still miss her."

Kiwi's already broken heart just broke a little more, as far as that goes, while listening to Zevvi's fragile voice.  
And she suddenly felt this strong desire to take all her pain away, even though she knew that was impossible.  
"Sounds like your mother has a very important job. You can be proud of her", she sniffed as a tear rolled down her cheek.  
"I am."  
Zevvi then looked up, her ruby-red eyes burning with curiosity and sympathy.  
"Is that person who makes you cry also in heaven? To help other children?"  
Kiwi smiled as she smoothened the wild brunch of hair a bit.  
"Something like that. He's not in heaven, but he is helping others."  
Zevvi nodded seriously and reached out one hand.  
"I'm sure my mommy is helping him too", she said as she wiped away a tear from Kiwi's face with her thumb, but as a result of these words, more soon followed.

Sweet Mothers and all other holy persons of Mars…  
Abigail was right.  
There was absolutely nothing normal about this kid.  
She didn't even seem to care that she was a human.  
An alien.  
She was clearly able to see right through all that, which was a bit worrying for a child of her age but it made her special at the same time.  
_Zevvi..._

She was special, just like her uncle.  
And even though she never had the pleasure to meet Mireya, she knew she had been special too.  
How could she not be?  
She was a van Wham.  
And the van Wham's had special genes.  
That fact was proven many times already.  
And it was proven again today.

Seconds ticked by as they just sat there, holding each other tightly.  
But as always, the time didn't stop.  
It didn't slow down.  
It just went by, steady as ever.  
Seconds became minutes and soon, way too soon in Kiwi's opinion, someone knocked on the door.  
"Time's up, sweetie", Abigail's muted voice sounded through the door and Kiwi slowly opened her eyes when she felt Zevvi tense in her arms.  
_Five minutes.  
_It felt like five seconds.

Strangely enough, time had the ability to mess with one's head.  
Time was such an incomprehensible thing.

If only she could let it stop.  
To stay in this moment forever.  
Or turn it back.  
To stop her macho mouse from leaving.  
But she couldn't.  
And she didn't want to get on Abigail's bad side, for she had a strong feeling that she was going to see her again.  
Still, letting Zevvi go felt like an almost impossible task.

It got even worse when the white-furred child clung to her, already trembling again.  
"Please, don't go…", she whispered and Kiwi needed all her self control to not burst into tears again.  
She gently untangled herself and carefully took Zevvi's head in her hands.  
"I have to, otherwise I betray Abigail's trust and she doesn't deserve that, now does she?", she asked as she tucked a strand of hair behind Zevvi's big ear with a soothing smile.  
"No. She's nice. So we need to be nice to her as well."  
"Exactly. But I promise you, little girl, that I'll come back for you. If that's okay with you, of course", Kiwi added hastily, suddenly feeling very insecure.  
But Zevvi nodded violently, her ears flapping and the human girl smiled relieved.  
"That's a deal then."

After pressing a soft kiss on the black and white hair of this child that already had captured her heart, she scrambled back on her feet.  
"I see you soon, okay?"  
"You promise?", Zevvi asked quietly, looking up at her with those ruby-red eyes which were so familiar and yet so heartbreaking.  
Perhaps they were heartbreaking _because_ they were so familiar.  
_A trauma...  
_Again, Kiwi swallowed away her tears as she reached out her hand.  
"Pinky swear."  
After a small hesitation, Zevvi took Kiwi's pink with hers.  
"Pinky swear", she repeated, still with that serious look on her face.  
Kiwi gave her one last smile and then quickly stumbled out of the room, already overwhelmed by tears again.  
Tears she didn't want Zevvi to see but were now impossible to stop.  
Impossible to ignore.

As soon as the door closed behind her, she threw herself in Throttle's arms and she let her tears run freely.  
"It's her, Throttle... Oh my god, it's really her…", she sobbed, her hands on his back, holding the leather jacket in a firm grip.  
The tan-furred mouse said nothing, he just held her as he stroked her back.  
And Kiwi cried.

She cried for Zevvi.  
For all the things the poor thing had been through.  
All the bad things that had made her the scared and fragile little girl she was nowadays.  
For being alone.

She cried for Vinnie.  
For all the things he had been through.  
All the bad things that had made him the troubled mouse he was nowadays.  
For being alone.

She cried for herself.  
For all the things she had been through.  
For all the bad things that eventually had taken away her soulmate.  
For being alone.

She cried for Mireya, who wasn't able to see her daughter grow up.  
For Throttle.  
For Modo.  
For Stoker.  
For everyone she knew, dead or alive.

But strangely enough and for the first time since forever, it weren't only tears of sadness.  
There was hope, too.  
Hope for a better future.  
Hope for recovery.  
To heal these wounds that ran so deep.  
This little girl could be the key to everything.  
And maybe, just maybe, she could be the key to this little girl's happiness.

Slowly, she calmed down a bit, knowing exactly what the next step was.  
And that was going back to the base and do something she had wanted to do from the day he left.  
Something he had strictly forbidden her right before he drove away.  
After giving her that stupid and empty promise.  
She had listened to him.  
To respect his wishes.  
Until now.  
Everything was different now.  
_Everything_.  
And so, she looked up at Throttle with swollen eyes, still sniffing but with a certain determination written upon her face.  
"We need to call him, Throttle. He needs to know."

_**…**_

"Carbine, we need to talk to Vinnie", Kiwi immediately cut to the chase as she burst into Carbine's room, soon followed by Throttle and Modo.  
The light-grey-furred female looked up from her book a bit surprised.  
"What? Why?"  
"Because I need to tell him something", Kiwi answered when she stopped in front of the big table in the middle of the room.  
The very one which Carbine was sitting at right now.  
"Why now? He's gone for over more than a year and you never asked this before. So why now?", Carbine asked in return, her eyes a bit narrowed, clearly confused by this sudden request.  
Kiwi placed her hands on the table and leaned forward, her blue eyes burning with something Carbine hadn't seen for a very long time.  
_Determination_.  
"I just need to talk to him. I figured you know how to reach him, right? Since it's your team that he's in..."

Carbine slowly closed her book and put it on the table before she cleared her throat, her eyes still fixated on the human girl.  
"Listen, Kiwi, I know how much you miss him, just as much as you know that I couldn't care less about what he wants. But the fact remains that he's working in a team now, _my _team, to be exact, and he can't afford it to be distracted. You calling him will distract him, obviously, and will put lives at risk. In addition to this, he told me that, and I'm sorry to say this out loud, I really am, he doesn't wanna talk to you."  
Her words hurt.  
They really did.  
But instead of backing down, Kiwi leaned further forward.  
"But you _do _know how to reach him, right?"

Carbine sighed and leaned back in her chair with folded arms.  
"Of course I do, who do you think I am? The war might be over, but I haven't lost my touch as a General. Unfortunately for you, that means I'm not gonna let you rile up one of my soldiers who need to be focussed on the job and the job only. And we all know how easily distracted he is. It's a risk I'm not willing to take."  
Kiwi's determination was starting to crack and Throttle decided to intervene before the human girl would lose her patience.  
He laid a hand on Kiwi's shoulder as he looked at Carbine.  
"Just make the call, Carbine. We wouldn't be here and asking this from you if it wasn't important."

Perhaps if this had happened when the war was still raging, the former General would've remained adamant.  
Silent and obstinate, for the war had been her life, back then.  
But things were changed.  
Of course, she was still devoted.  
It would be cold-hearted not to be.  
It was her job to prevent as much suffering as possible in the wake of the war.  
There were still mice out there, risking their lives to clean up the mess the Plutarkians had left behind.  
And they were doing that under her command.  
But after living in somewhat peace for over more than a year, she'd relearned to value the most important things.  
_Family_.  
And not war.  
Certainly not war.

And so, she raised her hands in defeat as she blew a strand of hair out of her face.  
"Okay, fine. If you insist", and she stood up.  
She grabbed the radio and put it on the table with a loud bang, but Kiwi knew she wasn't really angry.  
Peace had taken away Carbine's anger and the result was refreshing.  
Gone was the bitterness.  
The resentment.  
The everlasting agony.  
Even though she had been beyond heartbroken by the death of Stoker, she had managed to get back on her feet again.  
And despite the difficult relationship she had with Carbine, Kiwi admired her for that.  
For being so strong.  
So resilient.  
Maybe she would be able to climb back on her feet as well.  
One day.  
And maybe, just maybe, that day would be sooner than expected.  
Staring at the radio on the table, she could only hope it would be.

Her heartbeat already increased again and she was surprised she didn't have a heart attack already.  
This whole thing asked a lot of her body and she wasn't sure how long she was able to keep this up.  
She looked at Throttle, a bit pleading, suddenly doubting if she was ready for this.  
But the tan-furred mouse carefully pushed her down on a chair and after taking place beside her, he grabbed her hand in a tight and comforting grip.  
Modo sat down on her other side and wrapped his tail around her ankle, just like… _he _used to do whenever she was restless.  
But even though it wasn't him who was comforting her, it still felt good.  
She felt loved.  
Supported.  
But so scared at the same time.

What if he refused to talk to them?  
To talk to… _her_?  
She had no idea what would happen if that turned out to be true.  
After all, the seed had been planted again.  
It's what kept her going.  
It couldn't be crushed again.  
It just couldn't.  
But right now, there was nothing she could do.  
For now, it was up to Carbine.  
She just had to wait and see.  
And so she did, holding Throttle's hand in a tight grip.

Carbine dropped down on the same chair as she was sitting on when they came inside and grabbed the microphone of the radio.  
After glancing at Kiwi one last time, she pushed the small button.  
"Denver, come in."  
It didn't take long before a heavy but clear male voice responded.

"_Denver here. To what do I owe this pleasure, General? Our briefing was only yesterday. Started to miss me already?"_

Kiwi blinked a few times by hearing the slightly teasing tone and kept a close eye on Carbine to see how she was going to react, but much to her surprise, the light-grey-furred female only smiled at this comment and she almost fell out of her chair.  
She really was changed.  
The old Carbine would've chewed him up before spitting him back out again.  
She probably would've crushed him, too, like a bug that just got stepped on.  
But not the new Carbine.  
The relaxed Carbine.  
Kiwi glanced at Throttle, who was watching his girl with pride and bliss.  
Peace was peaceful.  
Peace was strange.  
Beautiful.  
It healed.  
Some of them, that is.

"Don't flatter yourself too much, Denver. I'm not calling for you and it isn't a social call either. Is Vinnie around?"  
Hearing Carbine say his name snapped Kiwi out of her thoughts and sweat already started to form on her forehead as she tightened her grip around Throttle's hand.  
This was beyond nerve-wracking and she stared at the radio with a pounding heart, crossing her fingers that he would be there.  
He had to be there.

"_Now that's a serious blow to my ego. But I think he's outside. You want me to go get him?"_

"Yes, please. He might need a little… _encouragement _though", Carbine added as she glanced at Kiwi again, who sat on the edge of her seat, staring at the radio with those big blue eyes of her.  
Eyes full of hope and insecurity.  
That white-furred snowball would better come to the radio and talk, otherwise, she was going to get her bike and drive the whole there to kill him personally.

"_Oh, I can be very persuasive when I need to be. Just give me a moment. Stand-by."_

Only listening to this voice, that belonged to someone who was only a few feet away from… _him _was enough to give Kiwi goosebumps all over her body.  
It was crazy, she knew, and yet, it was just how it was.  
He was there.  
He was really there.  
_God, Vinnie…  
_Was she finally about to hear his voice again?


	21. Chapter 21

Hey you guys...

Thank you so much for the reviews and your continued support.  
Glad to hear that you like Zevvi.  
She's just too cute, huh?  
**_Palacegirl_**: thanks for the tip, I looked up the song after I finished this chapter and it was kind of crazy how many similarities it has with this chapter.  
The song, indeed, pictures perfectly what Kiwi is going through right now.

Come to think of it, music is such a big and important part of my writing process.  
There are a lot of songs out there that I use as inspiration for all of my stories.  
But the one that stands out the most in this story is, without a doubt, The Phantom of the Opera.  
I listen to that music ever since I was a kid and boy oh boy, I still love it.  
It just never gets tiring.

Last Saturday, I've watched the performance of the Phantom in the Royal Albert Hall that was temporarily offered for free on Youtube and it suddenly reminded me of how this music has inspired me in the creation of Kiwi's and Vinnie's relationship.  
Music makes me feel and this particular music makes it possible for me to feel their love and pain at the same time.  
So, I guess it's no surprise that I, once again, used some lyrics of the Phantom in this chapter, hehe.  
I don't own these words, unfortunately.

Anyhoo, enjoy this chapter and feel free to leave a review once you're done.  
Always very much appreciated, but that ain't no secret.  
And remember, no pressure.  
Till next time, my loyal readers!

Later!

* * *

**Chapter 21**

Meanwhile, about 1500 miles away from the Freedom Fighter base, a black-furred mouse around the age of 40 stepped out of his tent, scratching his side and looking around him until he found what he was looking for.  
After rolling up his sleeves and straightening his back, he marched towards the mouse who he needed right now.  
Or maybe even better said; who Carbine needed.  
He had no idea why she wanted to talk to the white-furred rascal, but asking questions wasn't his job.  
Obeying orders was.  
And so he did.

Vinnie was completely unaware of what was hanging above his head as he sat by the fire, cleaning one of his beloved ray guns.  
They had made camp in the Red Mountains of Mars two weeks ago, but he still wasn't used to the low temperature.  
Even with the sun shining down on him with full force, it was cold.  
Very cold.  
Windy, too.  
But the fire was warm and comforting, making his body able to relax.  
A moment he enjoyed to the fullest, for it was a rare thing.  
Especially these days.

But that all changed when he felt a heavy hand landing on his shoulder, completely out of nowhere.  
It startled him more than he showed, but he still looked up a bit annoyed, straight into Denver's twinkling brown eyes and he wrinkled his nose.  
It wasn't because he didn't like the black-furred mouse, because he did, but the guy was just always so happy.  
Kind of like that stupid penguin from that Earth movie that was dancing all the time with his goddamned happy little feet.  
In the relatively short time that they knew each other, Vinnie had learned that nothing was able to bring the older mouse down and it annoyed him, from time to time.

Perhaps that was because he used to play that role, once.  
Well, not the role of a dancing penguin, God no, that would be so uncool.  
What he meant was that he used to be the happy note of the group, which he now, clearly, wasn't.  
Not anymore.  
All he felt was anger, guilt and a broken heart.  
He hardly knew what happiness was anymore.  
But that wasn't Denver's fault.  
It wasn't fair to blame him for his own mistakes.  
He was a good guy, after all.  
A good leader.  
Not as good as Throttle, maybe, but still.  
He came close enough.  
"Just the mouse I need. Come on, Carbine wants to talk to you", Denver told him, revealing his white and sparkling teeth as he gave Vinnie one of his big grins which he was known for, not bothered by the white-furred mouse's clearly visible irritation.

Vinnie's heart skipped a beat by hearing Carbine's name, but he didn't stand up.  
He didn't even blink.  
No, he just focussed his attention back on his gun.  
He wasn't sure why Carbine wanted to talk to him all of a sudden, but he was for about a hundred percent sure that he didn't want to talk to her.  
It would be two-hundred percent if that was possible.  
Heck, probably even a thousand percent.  
_A total no go. _

Carbine belonged to a part of his life that was over.  
Oh, it was over, alright.  
It was over from the moment he stepped on his bike and drove away without looking back.  
The fact that this team, which was his loophole at the same time and therefore his salvation, was standing under her command didn't change that.  
He never spoke to her.  
He just followed up orders.  
Orders coming from Denver, and not from Carbine, even though he knew that Denver, in his turn, followed up orders coming from the light-grey-furred General.  
Still, in his humble opinion, it was different.

_Carbine.  
_Looking at the facts, her leading this team from the very same Freedom Fighter base where he once lived in relatively happiness was the last remaining link to his old life.  
One he couldn't remove.  
Because if he could, he would've done it.  
Without blinking.  
But he couldn't.  
So he just locked it away in the back of his mind, along with all the shit that belonged to that part of his life.

But now, that particular link wanted to talk to him.  
She was banging on the door which he so frantically tried to keep closed.  
She wanted to drag him back to the pain.  
To the failure.  
To remind him of his broken heart.  
His incurable broken heart.  
_Kiwi…  
_No.  
He couldn't talk to Carbine.  
He couldn't let her rip open these wounds that weren't even closed in the first place.  
He had left with a reason.  
Why didn't she just leave him alone?

"Well, I don't wanna talk to her", he snapped at Denver once he realized that his supervisor was still waiting for him to respond.  
His voice was low, almost raw as he tried to calm down the storm that was already whirling inside of him from the moment his leader said Carbine's name.  
The fact that hearing her name caused this severe reaction was both crazy and out of context considering they had never been friends.  
_Ha.  
_Not even close.  
More like mortal enemies.  
Well, all the more reason to just stay here, sitting by the fire and cleaning his gun.

But Denver didn't walk away like Vinnie had hoped he would.  
Well, he couldn't say that it surprised him.  
Next to happy, the guy was beyond persistent.  
A good quality for a leader, yes, but infuriating for mice like him.  
Mice who tended to dig in their heels every once in a while, for they were far more stubborn than was healthy for them.  
"I wasn't asking, kiddo. It sounded important. So, you're gonna get up, walk into that tent and talk to her."  
With his eyes still fixated on the gun, Vinnie opened his mouth to tell him, _friendly_ of course, that there was no way in hell that he was going to get up, walk into that fucking tent and talk to queen of all bitches, but unfortunately, Denver was quicker.  
"And _that's_ an order."

The white-furred mouse grinded his teeth in annoyance and his left ear twitched, an all too familiar sign that he was closer to losing his shit than he liked to admit.  
But he still didn't stand up.  
He just kept his focus on cleaning his gun, even though this action caused another pang of guilt, for he knew Denver didn't deserve a treatment like this.  
This arrogant and cold treatment.  
But no ever said he wasn't.  
Arrogant.  
Cold.  
_Dead inside._

But Denver didn't give up that easily.  
Of course, he didn't.  
He was a leader, after all.  
And a very persistent one, indeed.  
As he slightly bend through the knees, he leaned forward and Vinnie could feel his warm breath in his ear.  
There was something slightly disturbing hidden inside the feeling.  
Frankly, it made him sick and his fur bristled.  
But he had enough sense to suppress the sudden and quite convincing urge to give the black-furred mouse a headbutt, knowing that would only make things worse.  
_Still_.  
It was tempting, alright.

It became even more tempting when he heard the words that Denver now whispered in his ear.  
"You know what happens if you don't follow my orders. I will have to replace you. That means you'll be sent back to the base before you can even spell _'yes, sir'_."  
Vinnie stiffened, he just couldn't stop it, even though he did everything within his power to sit here as nonchalant as possible.  
As if he didn't have a single care in the world.  
But the sad truth was that he had enough worries for an entire army.  
And the fear of being sent back to the base was one of the many that kept him awake at night.

Denver knew.  
Of course, he did.  
He was leading this bunch of misfits, including this stubborn specimen, for over more than a year now.  
He knew that the white-furred mouse was troubled.  
That him being here was nothing more but a flee.  
A flee from his pain.  
It was practically written upon the young mouse's face, day in, day out.  
He'd never used it against him before, though.  
But you know what they say.  
_There's a first time for everything._

But despite the war, the heart of the black-furred leader wasn't desensitized.  
Quite the opposite, actually.  
Some would say that he cared a bit _too _much.  
That as a leader, he should rather be feared than '_loved'_.  
He didn't agree with that theory.  
And he refused to play the bad guy.  
It was respect that made every soldier in this team listen to him without blinking.  
_Mutual_ respect.  
But of course, sometimes one of them needed a little encouragement.  
Like this white-furred adrenaline junkie over here, for instance.  
Just like Carbine had told him.  
_Smart girl. _

After heaving a sigh, Denver patted Vinnie on the back before he got back upright again.  
"Look, kid, I know you don't want that to happen. And truth be told, the same goes for me. You're a good soldier and an asset to this team. We need you here. But if you don't get off your lazy ass right now and go talk to the General, my hands will be tied, savvy? So do us both, and the rest of the team for that matter, a favor, will ya?"  
His voice was calm.  
There was no anger.  
No judgment.  
But the message was very, _very_ clear.

Vinnie still stared at his gun and felt a nasty headache coming up as soon as he realized that he didn't have a choice.  
Not really.  
Perhaps some would say that there was always a choice.  
But in Vinnie's case, there wasn't.  
He couldn't go back to the base.  
It was as simple as that.  
Even though leaving Kiwi behind had taken away all the color in his life, even though he was beyond heartbroken and lost without her, he couldn't go back.  
Not even while he was yearning for having her back in his arms again, so, _so _badly.  
To feel her.  
To look into her blue eyes and see her looking back...  
_Stop_.

Being sent back to the base meant being sent back to all the shit he'd left behind for a reason.  
Because it also meant going back to being _useless_ again.  
And the painful truth was that not even Kiwi was able to fix that.  
There was just no way.  
_No.  
__Fucking.  
__Way.  
_There was simply too much pain.  
Too much misery.  
_No purpose.  
_And so, he let out his breath and slowly rose on his feet, his eyes still fixated on the gun in his hand.  
"Okay. Fine."

**_…_**

Kiwi was still staring at the radio, her breathing shallow.  
Seconds ticked by and nothing happened.  
Her whole body was cramped, so cramped that it almost hurt.  
Well, it _did_ hurt, actually.  
"Kiwi, try to breathe", Throttle said softly as he gently squeezed her hand, knowing the girl was on her way to a major anxiety attack.  
He couldn't blame her, though.  
Even he was nervous.  
He didn't get nervous that easily.  
But after seeing Kiwi's look once she was done reading that file, he knew.  
This was her hope of getting him back.  
And if he had to be honest, he shared that same hope with her.

But what would happen to her if that hope got crushed, one way or another?  
He had no idea, but he did know one thing and that was that he wasn't going to like the answer.  
"I'm trying, but… Jesus, Throttle, what if… what if he doesn't wanna talk? What if he's not even giving us so much of a _chance_ to tell him about her?", Kiwi breathed, holding his hand so tightly that his fingers protested in pain.  
But he didn't pull back.  
He would never pull back.  
She finally made her gaze lose from the radio and she looked at him, her blue eyes wide open.  
"What if I hear his voice and I just… What will happen to me when I hear his voice?"  
The panic that was written upon her pale face hit Throttle straight in the heart.

_Goddammit.  
_If only Vinnie knew what he had caused by leaving her.  
What crazy domino effect he had set in motion, trapping the human girl in this downward spiral of hopelessness in the process.  
Trapping her in this golden cage that was called unconditional love.  
Golden or not, it was still a cage.  
And she wasn't ready to be on her own.  
To just spread her wings and fly away.  
She probably would never be ready.  
She needed Vinnie, so badly.  
And Throttle had thought that Vinnie of all mice would understand that.

He knew like no other that they needed each other more than anything as the two broken souls they were.  
That they could only be whole by being together.  
But he still left.  
Leaving Kiwi behind like a wounded little bird.  
_A flightless bird…  
_He wasn't sure if he was ever going to be able to forgive his young bro for leaving.  
For taking away her wings.  
For breaking her like this.  
She was beyond inconsolable, her pain devastating, crushing everything on its path.

It was slowly destroying her, he now realized as he looked at her.  
He had thought that time would heal her wounds.  
Like everyone said it would.  
That it would give her back her wings.  
But it didn't.  
It only made her wounds deeper and deeper.  
Every second that ticked by without having him by her side took away a tiny piece of her soul.  
Until there would be nothing left.  
And it broke his heart.  
He missed his young bro terribly.  
And it would always be his bro.  
His family.  
But this…  
This was unforgivable.

He realized that she was still looking at him, waiting for him to answer and he quickly laid his other hand on their already entwined fingers, giving her a soothing smile.  
"I don't know what's gonna happen. But I'm here. So is Modo…"  
"And so am I", Carbine added and Throttle looked up a bit surprised.  
What surprised him even more was that his tough and spunky General had tears in her eyes as she looked at Kiwi a bit helpless.  
They had never been very good friends, but seeing the human female like this was clearly a matter close to her heart.  
It warmed his heart in turn, actually.  
She was slowly turning back into the mouse he once fell in love with and he was beyond grateful that she did.  
Seeing Kiwi this lost reminded him of how much he loved his Carbine.  
How lucky he was to still have her around.  
_Love…  
_It's elusive.

"Oh, guys…", Kiwi sighed as she looked around the small group with gratitude before her gaze landed on the still silent radio again.  
"He's not coming, now is he?", she whispered with a fragile voice.  
"I'm sure he does. He just… needs some time, maybe…", Modo opened his mouth for the first time, but he soon realized how stupid this comment was.  
The white-furred mouse was already gone for over more than a year.  
The fact that he was still out there after all this time made one thing very clear.  
The last thing he needed, was time.

Throttle was right.  
He had already made his choice.  
He wasn't planning on coming back.  
_Never_.  
Kiwi seemed to realize that too, because she sank back into her chair as she closed her eyes in defeat and Modo felt a pang of guilt.  
"I'm sorry, Kiwi ma'am, I wasn't thinking…", he started, but Kiwi held up her hand to stop him, her eyes still closed.  
"It's okay, big fella. I know you mean well. It's not your fault."  
Her voice was flat.  
Empty.

_God_.  
What on Mars was she thinking anyway?  
As if he would run to the radio the moment they reached out to him.  
Gosh, she could be so naive sometimes.  
Even now, after all the pain and misery, she was still so goddamn naive.  
He was gone.  
And he was never coming back.

_Anywhere you go, let me go too..._

She slowly leaned forward and put her arms on the table.  
After a deep inhale, she laid her head on her arms and let out her breath.

_Share each day with me...  
__Each night, each morning…_

A tear escaped through her lashes.  
_Game over.  
_She was done.  
Done fighting.  
What was the point?  
Without him, there was no point.  
She was simply done.

_Love me...  
__That's all I ask of you..._

But then, she suddenly heard a soft click coming out of the speaker from the radio that was standing close to her head and she opened her eyes.  
The sound of static followed soon after the click and she slowly raised her head, her blue eyes now wide open.  
_Could it be…?  
_Her grip around Throttle's hand tightened again and she held in her breath…

"_Vinnie here."_

And just like that, the impossible became possible.  
It was as if she got struck by lightning the moment she heard his voice and Kiwi put a hand over her mouth.  
_Oh god.  
_It was him.  
It was really him.  
That was his voice.  
His voice that she had missed so much.  
She now realized that she had almost forgotten what it sounded like.  
But hearing it immediately made her remember.  
His beautiful voice.  
Raw.  
Low.

How could she forget?  
That low voice that meant so much.  
That caused a tingle in her belly each time she heard it.  
That was able to calm her down, no matter how riled up she was.  
Well, except for today, that is.  
Today, hearing his voice almost gave her a heart attack.  
Jesus, this was crazy.  
She had never thought that she would hear his voice again.  
But it was there.  
_He _was there.

Carbine broke her out of her trance by leaning across the table with an outstretched hand.  
The hand that was holding the microphone of the radio, to be specific.  
Kiwi looked at her, her eyes still wide open in shock after hearing his voice, but the light-grey-furred female gave her an encouraging smile.  
The friendliest smile she had ever given her.  
She was beautiful, Kiwi now realized.  
_What a stupid moment for a stupid realization...  
_"Take it, Kiwi. Talk to him. Tell him what you wanna tell him. He's there and he's listening."  
The human girl now looked at Throttle, her lower lip trembling.  
"He really is, right? He really is there…", she whispered, somehow needing to hear it from him.  
To hear him say, with that husky and calm voice of his, that this was real.  
That everything was going to be okay.

The tan-furred mouse reached out and took the microphone out of Carbine's hand.  
Then, he gently pushed it in Kiwi's trembling hand and carefully folded her fingers around it.  
"It's him, Kiwi. It's okay. We're here as well, remember? Everything will be okay, one way or another. But he's really there, babe."  
A soothing calm washed over her while listening to his voice.  
As usual, when the world stopped spinning, there was Throttle.  
Calm as ever.  
Her pilar.  
Her rock.  
Kiwi nodded at him with gratitude and slowly turned her head towards the microphone in her hand.  
_Not alone_.  
With a still trembling hand, she brought the device to her mouth and after taking a deep breath, she pushed the small button.

**_…_**

Vinnie sat on Denver's chair, using the thumb of the hand that held the radio to scratch the left side of his face with his eyes closed as he waited for Carbine to respond.  
But _damn_, she took her time.  
It made him anxious, which in turn made him even _more _anxious, for this feeling was way too familiar.  
This restlessness.  
The very same restlessness that had chased him away from the base as fast as possible.  
Oh, how much he _hated _it.  
To be so fucked up as he was.

Next to that, he'd always been a bit too impatient for his own good.  
"What's taking her so long?", he mumbled, tapping his foot on the ground like a hyped-up tap dancer -or perhaps like that stupid penguin again-, much to Denver's annoyance.  
"Dude, chill. I haven't seen you this riled up since that rat managed to knock you off your bike and tried to steal it."  
Vinnie frowned with his eyes still closed.  
"Thanks for the reminder, mate. Really, just what I needed right now."

He did stop tapping his foot though.  
But at the same time, his right hand started and soon, his fingers drummed on the stone table at a rate which Van Halen himself would be jealous of.  
But right before he thought he couldn't take it anymore, the radio came back to life.  
And oh boy, what came out of the speaker wasn't what he expected at all.  
Not even close.

"_...V-Vinnie…_?"

His eyes flew open and he almost fell out of the chair as the radio flew out of his hand, his heart fluttering in his chest like a butterfly that took its first flight.  
Denver sat up straight by seeing his reaction, clearly surprised by it and he watched the young mouse struggling to catch the microphone again before it would slam against the table.  
When he finally succeeded, Vinnie just stared at it for a moment, breathing heavily.  
Denver rubbed his chin as he studied the white-furred mouse, somehow worried by this severe reaction, for he had never seen him this anxious.  
He knew the kid had problems.  
He just didn't know how big.  
But judging by his reaction, they were big.  
_Very_ big.

"You okay, kiddo?"  
Vinnie slowly looked up and locked eyes with the black-furred mouse, his left ear twitching.  
"That's… that's not Carbine…", he managed to squeeze out, holding the radio with so much strength that Denver was surprised it wasn't broken already.  
"Obviously."  
"You… you said it was Carbine who wanted to talk to me. Not…", but he couldn't say her name out loud and so, he just fell silent again, his body trembling.

"Who is she?", Denver asked as he leaned back in his chair, still keeping a close eye on the white-furred mouse in front of him.  
The same white-furred mouse just stared at him for a little while, wondering if the guy perhaps had been living under a rock for the past few years.  
But he then realized that Denver had been stationed on another base back in the days of war and since Vinnie hadn't told him either, the black-furred mouse had never heard the story about this brave human girl who had left her planet behind to live on Mars.  
To help fight a war that wasn't hers, even though it had become hers soon enough.  
_Kiwi…_

_All I want is freedom...  
__A world with no more night..._

The thought alone that it was her on the other side of that radio made him jump on his feet with the speed of light, already overwhelmed by the urge to run away as fast as he could and he let the radio go as if it was on fire.  
It now dangled on its cord over the edge of the table, ticking against the table leg in the same rhythm as his heart pounded in his chest.  
The only difference was that the ticking of the radio slowly became calmer as time went by and his heart…  
Well, his heart almost gave out.  
"It doesn't matter who she is, all that matters is that I don't wanna talk to her, I just can't, it's too much, the pain in her voice is too much to bear, I just can't… I can't do this", he babbled as he slowly walked backward with his hands in front of his body.  
His _shaking_ body.  
_Goddammit._

_Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime...  
__Say the word and I will follow you..._

He couldn't talk to her.  
It would trigger too much.  
But before he could rush out of the tent, Denver blocked his way.  
"Look, I don't know what is going on here and why you're so upset, but I'm afraid I have to tell you to sit down again and talk. Carbine insisted that you would talk and I don't care who it is you're talking to, as long as you talk, savvy? I'll give you some privacy, but you won't leave this tent before you've talked to whoever it is on the other side of that radio. And don't even _think_ about tricking me, because I know if you do", he warned him before he left the tent, giving Vinnie no chance to protest.

As the flap closed behind him, Vinnie just stood there, staring at the still softly moving entrance of the tent, his fists clenched with so much strength that his nails cut in his hand, straight through his black fingerless gloves.

_Love me…  
__That's all I ask of you..._

All of a sudden, his anger fired like a missile and he snatched the stone mug that was on the table and threw it on the ground with all his strength.  
"_Fuck!_"  
The mug shattered into a thousand pieces with a somehow satisfying bang, but it didn't make him feel any better.  
No, perhaps even worse, as far as that goes, for it reminded him of his broken heart.  
How it was shattered into a million pieces when he drove away from the base.  
Away from _her…_

_You alone can make my song take flight..._

_Kiwi...  
_The anger vanished as quickly as it came and he slowly sunk back into the chair.  
Every cell in his body practically screamed to get the hell out of here, to tell Denver he could go fuck himself before running off as fast as his bike would let him.  
But the thing was, if he would give in to this urge, he would lose his place in this team.  
This team, that was the only thing that kept him going right now.  
That kept him sane.

It was his only chance to pay his debt to Stoker.  
His only chance to feel useful.  
His only chance to deal with the tremendous amount of guilt he carried with him everywhere he went ever since that fucked up day in the Plutarkian HQ.  
It was his only chance to exist.  
He couldn't just throw it away, even though it was very tempting at this very moment.

But if he did, there would be nothing left.  
And when there was nothing left, the darkness inside of him would consume him.  
And no one, not even Kiwi, would be able to save him then.  
The thought alone terrified him.  
To just vanish into nothingness.  
So what choice did he have, huh?  
None.  
With a trembling hand, he grabbed the radio again and brought it to his mouth.  
"Spill it."

_**…**_

Kiwi swallowed with difficulty when she heard the offensive tone in his voice.  
She knew him well enough to know that he was far from amused.  
Probably angry too, for her not respecting his desperate wish to be left alone.  
Still, instead of running off as he always did, he was there.  
Talking to her.  
Perhaps she'd underestimated this Denver guy.  
Because she knew, deep down, that he could be the only reason why Vinnie was still there.  
Judging by the tone of his voice, he didn't actually _want_ to talk to her.  
And it hurt.  
It hurt like hell.  
But either way, he was there.  
Closer than he'd ever been for the entire year.

As a tear rolled down her cheek, she pushed the small button again.  
"We uh… We've found something, something you might wanna know about… Well, I think you should know, that's why I'm calling you, or well, why Carbine called you, but she did that because I asked her, but it's important and I know you don't wanna talk to me, you made that very clear when you left, but you need to hear this…"  
Jesus, she was babbling like some kind of idiot and her cheeks turned red as she trailed off again, cursing herself for being this nervous.  
_Come on._

This was Vinnie she was talking to.  
The love of her life.  
Her soulmate.  
The one and only person who made her feel safe.  
Well, he used to.  
Still, this was the mouse with whom she once had shared her life, with everything that came with it.  
He had seen her on her worst moments and visa versa.  
There was nothing to be nervous about.  
This was ridiculous.  
Beyond that.

_You were once my one companion...  
__You were all that mattered..._

Jesus, how was it even possible that their bond, from which she always thought was unbreakable, had been watered down to this awful point?  
She was almost having a mental breakdown by only talking to him through the radio.  
_Stupid_.  
They were supposed to be together forever.  
And now look at them.

_You were once a friend and lover...  
__Then my world was shattered..._

_Goddammit.  
_Just tell him already.  
She gave herself a firm mental shake and cleared her throat.  
"Okay, what I'm trying to say is; we found out that Mireya had a daughter."  
Silence was all that followed when she let go of the small button, so she decided to just continue.  
"We uh… we found her. Her daughter. Her name is Zevvi and she's the spitting image of her mother and therefore of you. I met her only a few hours ago now and God, I wish you had been there with me. She's so special, Vinnie…"  
_Just like you.  
_She didn't say the last part out loud, though.  
Not because she didn't want to, but simply because she couldn't speak further.  
Her voice failed on her when she, once again, realized that he wasn't here but God only knew how many miles away from her.

_Wishing you were somehow here again…  
__Wishing you were somehow near... _

"You're doing great, babe", Throttle said softly as he rubbed her back.  
Kiwi folded both hands around the microphone and as she rested her forehead on her folded hands, she closed her eyes.  
She needed to calm down.  
She was calling with a purpose.  
A purpose for her life.  
His life.  
_Their _life.  
That thought made the seed of hope grow even faster again and she took a deep breath.  
_Here goes nothing.  
_"It's time that you come home, Vinnie. She's your family. Your blood. She needs you, more than anything… Look, if you don't wanna come home for me, then at least do it for her. She's the only living relative you have left. That has to mean something, right? So, please… Please come back…"  
_Come back to me…_

_Dammit_.  
She didn't want to sound so pleading.  
She didn't want to beg him to come home.  
But it just happened.  
She was desperate.  
Beyond that.  
He just needed to come home.  
She needed him.  
Why couldn't he see that?

His answer came faster than she'd expected.  
It was as if he hadn't even thought about it.  
Well, he always had been a bit impulsive.  
But did he not understand that now wasn't the time to be impulsive?  
Apparently not.  
Some things would never change.

"_I can't. I'm sorry."_

As soon as the last word left his mouth, Kiwi heard another click that told her he had broken the connection.  
The silence that followed was almost deafening.  
It pressed against her eardrums and she blinked a few times, her brain making overtime to process what was happening here.  
He couldn't and he… wait, _what_?  
He... _couldn't?  
_Why not?  
Why would he say that?  
It wasn't supposed to go like this.  
He was supposed to tell her that he would come back.  
For Zevvi.  
They would be together again.

For a moment, it felt as if she was floating.  
As if she wasn't really here, even though she still felt the burning gazes of the three Martian mice that were with her in the same room.  
She could feel their worry.  
Their fear.  
And she knew they were all three on high alert.  
Ready to intervene when that awful moment would come.  
That moment when she was going to lose it.  
But maybe she already was.  
Losing it.  
It felt as if she was having an out-of-body experience or something.  
As if her soul took some distance to protect itself when the brutal realization came.  
The realization that all hope was gone.  
Hope, that was crushed by two simple words.

'_I can't.'_

No mercy.  
No.  
This wasn't how she had pictured it.  
_At all._

"Kiwi… I'm so sorry…", Throttle whispered as he rubbed her hand with his thumb.  
Hearing his pain that reflected hers made her feel sick all of a sudden and she jumped on her feet, pulling back her hand in the process.  
His warm and loving hand.  
Her shelter.  
Without responding, she walked to the window and opened it.  
The warm air almost slapped her in the face, but warm or not, it was fresher than the stale air in the room.  
The stale air that pressed its heavy weight on her.  
The warm wind from outside blew through her hair and she closed her eyes, her hands almost desperately clinging onto the stone windowsill.  
Out of nowhere, nausea pressed on her gullet, making swallowing difficult.  
It was over.  
It was officially over.  
Her life was over.

_Was it?_

She opened her eyes with a frown.  
This was the weirdest thing ever.  
But instead of completely breaking down like she, and the others with her, had expected to happen, she suddenly felt something entirely different.  
Something she hadn't felt in a very, very long time.  
_Anger.  
_It spread through her body like wildfire, almost taking her breath away as well and her fingers dug into the red stone of the windowsill.  
But she didn't feel the pain when her nails broke, one by one.  
Neither did she see the blood.  
No, there was a train of thoughts raging through her head at this very moment, taking up all her attention.

She had given him his space.  
She had let him go, even though it completely destroyed her.  
She had done everything within her power to move on without him, just like he wanted her to do.  
She'd lived with that agonizing pain for over more than a year now.  
She had done all that, even though he had promised her that he would be with her and beside her, forever.  
To guard her and to guide her.  
_Forever…_

A shock jolted through her body and she gasped when another realization hit her.  
Soon after, everything became just so… _clear_, all of a sudden.  
Crystal clear.  
As if the warm wind coming through the open window blew away the dark cloud that had blurred her vision for the past year.  
And she now knew...  
He hadn't just left her.  
No, he had _betrayed _her.  
He had betrayed her like no one ever betrayed her.  
Not even Chaz and he was quite high on the list after what he had done.

But Vinnie now took the lead, as always.  
He had denied her.  
Betrayed her.  
And yet, here she was.  
Completely broken.  
Crying because she missed him so much.  
Because she couldn't live without him.  
He had let her down in so many ways and what did she do?  
She had literally _begged_ him to come home.  
_Pathetic.  
_Useless, too.

_Too many years fighting back tears…  
__Why can't the past just die?_

And suddenly, she was done.  
Done with him.  
Done with grieving for him.  
Done with missing him.  
Done with this pain that held her in a tight grip, so tight that she could hardly breathe.  
Done with being trapped in this cage called love.  
Done with being the victim.  
_That poor wounded little bird…  
_Fuck that.  
Fuck him.  
Fuck it all.

'_I'm sorry…'_

Right.  
Even now, even after everything he had done to her, after all the false promises he had given her, he just lied to her again.  
After all, how on Mars could he be sorry?  
He could only be sorry if he _cared_.  
But he didn't care, now did he?  
Of course, not.  
If he did, he would back.  
Come back home.  
But no.  
He _couldn't.  
_Fine.  
He could choke in his misery, for all she cared.

Because she had found herself a new purpose.  
A purpose she had wanted to share with him, more than anything.  
But he had made his choice.  
And it was time that she did the same.  
There was a little girl, a lost little girl, out there who needed her.  
And she could _only_ be there for her if she was free.  
Freed from her burden.  
Freed from this cage.  
It was time to spread her wings again.  
And so she did.

With renewed strength and without hesitation, she lifted her hand and pulled the red diamond out of her ear.  
After looking at it for a little while, she took a deep breath and threw it out of the window.  
The sun reflected on the red diamond one last time.  
One last glitter before it disappeared.  
Like he had done.  
From now on, he was dead to her.

The three mice at the table shared a worried look, but Kiwi already turned around from the window before they could say anything.  
Her burning blue eyes landed on Modo, who almost flinched by seeing her intense look.  
"I want her."  
The grey-furred giant gave her a confused look, clearly, he was having a hard time to keep up with her changing moods.  
She couldn't really blame him.  
She hardly followed it for herself.  
All she knew was that it felt as if she was reborn.  
It wasn't about her anymore.  
It was now about that little helpless girl who needed her.

"Zevvi. I want her. Whenever she's ready, of course. I can go visit her at the house, to get to know each other, to build up trust... I'll do whatever it takes, but I want her."  
Her voice was as steady as a rock.  
She had a purpose again.  
And that was taking in this child, this marked child.  
To take care of her.  
To give her the love she deserved.  
To protect her.  
Most of all, to give her a place to call home.  
Everyone needed a home.  
Especially her.

Her.  
Zevvi.  
This girl, this special girl…  
This girl with whom she had a connection from the moment she laid her eyes on her.  
Truth be told, she had no idea how it was possible.  
She had no idea why Zevvi felt so quickly at ease with her for the troubled kid she was.  
But the fact remained that it happened.  
And that could only mean that they belonged together.  
It was written in the stars.  
Meant to be.  
Her purpose.  
Her task.

Modo finally woke up from his trance and he blinked a few times before he looked at Kiwi with a certain seriousness that was rare, even for him.  
But when it came to the children, his life's work, he couldn't be serious enough.  
"Are you sure about this? I mean, raising a kid ain't easy but raising a traumatized kid, well… That's a whole other ball game, Kiwi ma'am."  
But Kiwi nodded with dogged determination.  
"I've never been so sure about anything. I won't pretend that it doesn't scare me, because it does, but Modo… We had this click, this connection…Besides, she's Vinnie's cousin. She belongs on the base which was once his home. With us. With her family. Together, we can give this child a future. We can't let her down like Vinnie just did. We just can't."

"She's right, big fella", a husky voice agreed with her and all eyes landed on Throttle, who stood up and stretched his back before he continued, looking his older grey-furred bro in the eye.  
"Look, I will be the last one to tell you how to do your job, but our human friend here is right about one thing. That kid belongs here. This his her home. I still consider Vinnie as my bro, despite his actions. That makes her family."  
The tan-furred mouse fell silent for a moment, looking around the small group as he adjusted his glasses.  
But then, a warm smile appeared on his face as he walked over to Kiwi and he swung an arm around her shoulders.  
"And we _never _let family down."

Modo stared at his bionic arm for a while, how the deadly laser popped in and out, clearly deep in thoughts.  
But finally, after what felt for an eternity, he looked up.  
"I'll talk to Abigail. I only start the procedure with her blessing and then alone. She knows Zevvi, after all. She knows what's best for her."  
"Fair enough", Kiwi nodded, trying to stay calm, but it was hard.  
Her lips curled into a smile before she could stop it and her heart almost exploded out of her chest.  
She had found back a purpose.  
She wasn't trapped.  
Not anymore.  
She was free.  
Finally free.

_No more memories, no more silent tears...  
__No more gazing across the wasted years…  
__It's time to say goodbye._

* * *

PS.

I know you guys want to know more about Zevvi and I just wanna say that her story will be told soon.  
That brings me to my next point; Hot damn, I'm kind of on fire the past few weeks with writing chapters for this story, the words just kept coming, it was crazy.  
But I guess the next update will take a bit longer, for I need some time to come up with the details for Zevvi's background story.  
Next to that, I totally neglected Shadow of the Day (sorry about that, hehe), so that story deserves a bit of my attention in the upcoming weeks as well.  
If my huge ass writer's block allows me, that is.

But not to worry, this story is far from over and I'm actually for about ninety-nine percent sure that the next update won't take months like one of the previous chapters.  
I don't make promises, just to be sure.  
It's just that writing two stories takes a lot of time, especially with me being the perfectionist as I am, hehe.  
But I can assure you that I'm doing the best I can to update as quickly as possible _without_ being sloppy.

Oh, fun fact; this whole adopting a kid thingy was actually one of the ideas **_Youkai55_** gave me a little while ago now. Of course, I worked out the details myself, but I just wanna use this moment to give the credits for this idea to the one who they belong to.  
So, a big thanks to you, **_Youkai55_**! :)  
It was enough for me to get this story back on track.

Okay, I'm gonna shut up now, hehe XD  
Thanks for supporting me, guys.  
Mucho love to all of you and stay safe.

Ciao!


	22. Chapter 22

Hey you guys...

Thanks for the reviews, really, your continued support helps me to keep going.  
And thanks for your patience and understanding, ya know, about that it takes more time to upload because I'm writing two stories.  
Truly grateful.

_**Palacegirl**_: I looked up the song and indeed, it really fits the bill. :)

Anyway, not much to say.  
I hope you guys are all okay and safe.  
Enjoy this chapter and feel free to leave a review once you're done, but as usual, no pressure. ^^

Ride free, citizens!

* * *

**Chapter 22**

Throttle rested his arms on the edge of the balcony of Carbine's room and closed his eyes when he felt the warm and dry wind going through the long hair between his big ears.  
It was only yesterday that they had talked to Vinnie, or well, perhaps '_talked' _was too strong a word, given the fact that his white-furred bro had said like eight words in total.  
But that wasn't important.  
Important was that he now knew for sure that he would never see his young bro, ever again.  
And dammit, it pained him more than he liked to admit.  
Even though it wasn't exactly a surprise to hear him say that he couldn't come home, for he deep down already had suspected that he wouldn't, there was always that glimmer of hope.  
Until yesterday.  
Yesterday, that glimmer of hope was overshadowed by the harsh and grim reality.  
The Biker Mice From Mars were history.

Suddenly, he felt two warm arms wrapping around his neck and despite his grief, a smile appeared on his face when he smelled the most lovely scent in the universe.  
"Hey, you…", Carbine whispered in his ear.  
"Hey, yourself... ", he greeted her back as he laid his hand on one of her arms, softly rubbing the light-grey fur with his thumb.  
Carbine pressed a kiss on his cheek before she let him go and sat down on the edge of the balcony with her back towards the outstretched desert, looking at the love of her life with a worried frown on her face.  
"Are you okay, Throttle?"  
The tan-furred mouse immediately stood upright, already nodding.  
"I'm fine, babe."  
"No, you're not", the light-grey-furred female contradicted without hesitation and she pinched his nose with a small smile.  
"Maybe you can fool anybody outside of these walls, but not me. You have that look on your face again. You know, that look that tells me that you're carrying all the misery of the world on your shoulders."  
_Ah.  
__That _look.

Throttle heaved a sigh as he leaned back on the stone balustrade, knowing she had won this round.  
Not that this was a competition, but he didn't like to talk about the things that kept him busy and she knew that.  
It wasn't because he felt ashamed for the fact that he had feelings or something like that, unlike a certain white-furred mouse.  
No, it was because it was his job to make sure that everyone around him was doing okay.  
Therefore, he didn't want to burden them with his worries and misery.  
Next to that, he needed to be strong.  
For them.  
So they had someone to lean on, especially now Stoker was gone.  
But he knew Carbine.  
And he knew she wasn't going to let this go, not until he had talked to her about what was going on inside his head.  
Perhaps that was a good thing.  
It just wasn't healthy to keep everything inside, he knew that all too well.  
Vinnie was a good example of what happened to those who did.

"It's about Kiwi, right?", Carbine asked him softly, thereby breaking him out of his thoughts.  
"I mean, it always is…"  
Throttle closed his eyes for a moment before he tilted his head and gave her a look to tell her that now wasn't the time to vent her frustration about the human girl.  
But Carbine immediately raised her hands and shook her head.  
"Don't give me that look. I didn't mean it like that. I'm just telling it like it is", she explained herself calmly but resolutely.  
The tan-furred mouse gave her one last glance before he stared back into the distance again.  
Even though her comment made him a bit edgy, he knew she was right.  
He simply couldn't deny that Kiwi was one of his biggest concerns ever since that day.

Well, if he had to be honest, it was actually since the first day they met her, back on Earth, for she was a deeply troubled person after losing her parents in the gruesome way that she did.  
He knew she was and therefore, he felt responsible for her in a way that perhaps wasn't healthy, but that didn't change the fact that he just did.  
Carbine hated her for it, that he knew too.  
Even though she knew that Kiwi was like a sister to him, that their bond wasn't anything romantical whatsoever, she still somehow saw the human girl as a threat.  
That was the main reason why he never shared his worries about her with Carbine because it always ended the same.  
And he didn't want to fight with her.  
Not today.  
He simply didn't have the energy for it.

But then, he felt her fingers gently grabbing his chin and she forced him to look at her.  
"I really didn't mean it like that, Throttle. Talk to me. Please. It kills me to see you this way…"  
Her brown eyes were big, shining with severity and sincerity and again, he amazed himself about the way peace was able to slowly turn her back into the mouse he once fell in love with.  
She _cared_ again.  
_Really_ cared.  
It was all he needed.  
It meant he could lean on her.  
Everyone needed someone to lean on.  
Even a leader.

"Yes, I'm worried about her", he started and she let go of his chin, but took his hand instead.  
Their fingers entwined and Throttle looked at their hands for a little while before he continued.  
"I'm worried that she's using her anger to push her pain away. I'm worried that she _thinks _she's over him while it's so obvious to me that she isn't. I'm worried that she's using Zevvi to take in his place, to fill the void he has left behind. And I'm absolutely terrified for the day that her pain comes back twice as hard because it will and I know she won't be able to handle it. She's been through too much and only Vinnie was able to help her deal with the darkness she carries around with her. But he's gone now, he just left her behind like a wounded little bird and it's slowly destroying her. And even though she seems to have found the way back to her strength, I just know it won't last forever and let me tell you this; the day she remembers her pain is the day that Zevvi will become an orphan again."

He closed his mouth with a clap, breathing heavily after this stream of words that just came over his lips before he could censure them and he took off his glasses to rub his eyes.  
"I'm sorry, I'm just tired, I don't know where all of that came from…", he mumbled a bit embarrassed, but strangely enough, the words just kept coming.  
As if he had opened up a whole can of worms and where he at first had been reluctant to share his worries, he now somehow couldn't stop.  
"I can't sleep. Ever since that day, I can't sleep. Every time I close my eyes, I see Stoker. But I can't hear him. I only _see_ him. He talks to me, at least, that's what I think, but I just can't hear a word he's saying. As if he's trying to tell me something, something important… something I need to hear to get Mars through this difficult and unsure time of rebuilding, but I have no idea what it is… And then there's Vinnie. I should hate him for leaving, hate him for what he did to Kiwi, to all of us, actually, but I can't. All I know is that I miss him and that I want him to come back so I can take care of him like I'm supposed to do, so he can heal Kiwi, but I can't force him to be here if he doesn't wanna be here and it frustrates me… But make no mistake, I may not be able to hate him, but I don't think I'm ever going to forgive him for leaving Kiwi, for leaving us _all_ in a time when we needed each other the most..."

Carbine gently laid her other hand on their already entwined ones to stop him and he trailed off, tears burning behind his bionic eyes, much to his shock.  
He was far more upset than he thought he was.  
And it all had one reason.  
After putting his glasses back on, he looked at Carbine, into her beautiful brown eyes.  
"Why is everyone abandoning me? What did I do wrong?"

"Oh, Throttle, come here…", the light-grey-furred female sighed with a voice thick of emotion and pulled her beloved tan-furred mouse in her arms.  
"You did nothing wrong. You always blame yourself for things you simply can't control. It's cruel, yes, but death is part of life. Everyone has their own path and own destination. You can't change fate, Throttle…"  
She pulled him even closer as she spoke, tears in her eyes, for she felt his pain as her own.  
"That being said, I want you to know that I'm not going anywhere. I will _never_ abandon you. Neither is Kiwi nor Modo. I do share your concern about Kiwi, just as much as I know that this whole thing is far from over, but who can blame her for being angry, huh? Perhaps it's not healthy, but it's all she has right now. It helps her to keep going. Although I don't think that she's using Zevvi to replace him. She just needed something to fight for and she found it. It's her path, her destiny. I truly believe that this was meant to be and that Zevvi will help her heal…"

Carbine fell silent for a moment, but then she let out a humorless chuckle.  
"Listen to me rambling about fate... What on Mars happened to me?"  
"You're healing", Throttle simply answered as he buried his nose in her raven black hair, holding her tightly.  
The light-grey-furred female heaved a sigh, knowing he was right.  
But this wasn't about her.  
This was about him.  
"Listen, Throttle… I know that Kiwi and I don't always get along, but she is part of our family now. And you said it yourself, we never let family down. So if the day comes, the one that frightens you, we will be there for her."

Throttle listened to the sound of her voice with his eyes closed, letting the slightly hoarse tones calm him down in a way only she could achieve.  
He was beyond grateful to have her in his arms and to hear her soothe his troubles which he had magnified in his head.  
That tended to happen, sometimes.  
When you didn't talk about it.  
It only got bigger and bigger and if you waited long enough, it would explode and with a little bad luck, it would even become reality.  
But there was Carbine.  
His Carbine, who always knew what to say to make him feel better.  
To help him put things in perspective.

"And I know you miss Stoker and Vinnie. It's beyond cruel that you lost them both in one year. But listen to this. I don't think that Stoker is trying to tell you something. I think it's _you_ who is searching for guidance. I mean, he used to guide you. He was like a father to you. And now he's gone and you need to do it by yourself…"  
She gently untangled herself so she could look him in the eye.  
"But you know what? You're ready to walk alone, Throttle. You really are. You don't need Stoker to tell you what to do. He has taught you well. You can do this, handsome. You can lead our people through this difficult time and one day, Mars will be rebuild. One day, Mars will be whole again. For Stoker…"  
"For Stoker", Throttle mumbled as he leaned forward, gently taking her face in his hands and he kissed her with all the love he had in him.

_Yeah_.  
She was really back.  
His Carbine.  
His rock.  
His reason and his life.  
His world.  
His home.

_**...  
**_

"Abigail, Modo here. I hope I didn't catch you at a bad time?"  
"_Oh, Modo, chivalrous as ever. The children are taking their afternoon nap, so I'm all ears. Oh, but before you start, I have one question; How's Kiwi doing? She seemed really upset when she left yesterday."  
_The grey-furred giant smiled, touched by her genuine interest as he leaned back in his chair in his small office on the base.  
But the smile vanished as quickly as it came and he adjusted his headset before he continued.  
"Well, she's the reason why I call you. She wants to adopt Zevvi. I told her that I would talk to you. That I only start the procedure with your blessing."

A long silence followed and Modo waited patiently, giving Abigail some time to process these words as he played with a pen to kill the time.  
Eventually, the radio came back to life again.  
"_You have no idea how much depends on this."  
_Modo's fingers stopped playing with the pen for a few seconds as he frowned in confusion, but before he could ask what Abigail meant, she already continued.  
"_That's what Kiwi said right after I told you to come back another time."  
_"I remember."  
"_She's right. I have no idea. What I do know is that their short meeting triggered something in Zevvi."_

Modo heart skipped a beat at the same time that his bionic fingers snapped the pen in half and ink splattered all over the place, but he hardly noticed.  
"Oh momma, we shouldn't have come, we…", he started, already feeling guilty for the entire planet but Abigail cut him off.  
"_Oh, stop it, boy. I never said it triggered something bad. Quite the opposite, actually. She's different. More… open. I've never seen her like this. Even her eyes are sparkling. Either way, there is something extraordinary going on here and I'm not sure what it is. But it has something to do with Kiwi. So tell me, Modo. What is it exactly that depends on it?"_

Slowly, Modo leaned back in his chair, rubbing the inkblots on his desk absent-mindedly, but he only made it worse instead of better.  
He tended to do that, sometimes.  
Make things worse.  
By saying stupid things, like telling Kiwi that Vinnie needed time.  
Or like repeating the sentence _'You never told us'_ whenever Vinnie opened up about something.  
And the list goes on and on.  
It made him wonder...  
Could he make things worse by telling Abigail Kiwi's story?  
But he then already decided that this time, it didn't matter.  
This wasn't about him.  
Or anyone else, for that matter.  
This was about Zevvi.  
And Zevvi could only benefit the truth and the truth alone.

"Kiwi is married to Zevvi's uncle, who happened to be one of my best friends. Or perhaps I should say _was_ married. He's gone. He fled the base a few months after Stoker's death."  
"_Why?"  
_"He's blaming himself. Stoker gave up his life to save his. He couldn't handle it. Just as he couldn't handle the fact that the Plutarkians are gone. It drove him crazy, actually. _Literally_. His life had lost purpose. The war was all he knew, sadly enough. So he joined the Special Ops Team. His departure devastated Kiwi. They were connected, ya know. He's her world and visa versa."  
"_But he still left."  
_There was no judgment whatsoever.  
It was more like a statement.  
A _true_ statement.

"Yeah. You should know that he's a troubled mouse. The war took a lot from him. Including his twin sister."  
"_Zevvi's mother."  
_"Affirmative. Kiwi hoped that if she told him about Zevvi, he would come back. But he refused."  
Another silence.  
Modo couldn't blame her, though.  
This was quite something, alright.  
But then, Abigail's voice came over the speakers again.  
"_Come over, Modo. And bring Kiwi with you. I think it's time that we talk about Zevvi's future."_

**_…_**

When Modo and Kiwi stepped on the porch of the big house, Kiwi grabbed Modo's hand in a tight grip.  
The grey-furred giant looked down at her, to see her stare at the big front door with her blue eyes wide open.  
She was nervous, he realized when he looked back at the door.  
Well, truth to be told, so was he.  
These kids were his life, he only wanted the very best for them and if he had to be honest, he had his doubts about this plan.  
Not because he didn't trust Kiwi, because he did.  
But what he didn't trust were her motives.

The transformation that happened right before of his eye yesterday, after Vinnie told them he wasn't coming back, was scary, to say the least.  
And something just didn't feel right.  
She couldn't be over him like that, now could she?  
_No one _could pick up the pieces _that_ easily.  
Not after being broken in the way she had been.  
In the way she still was, actually, in his opinion.  
She wasn't healed.  
Far from it.

But that wasn't even his main concern.  
Zevvi was.  
And he wasn't sure why Kiwi was this hellbent on adopting this young and traumatized kid.  
Was it because she was Vinnie's cousin?  
Or would it be the same if Zevvi wasn't related to the white-furred rascal?  
Probably not.  
So, it could be meant to be, like she told him.  
That it was written in the stars that their paths would come together.  
Or maybe it was because Zevvi made her feel closer to Vinnie.  
That she was so desperately searching for something that could fill the gigantic void he had left behind.  
And he wasn't sure if he liked that idea.

"Your hand is sweaty, Modo", Kiwi broke him out of his thoughts and he looked down again, straight into her bright blue eyes.  
And that's when he saw it.  
Something was changed.  
Her eyes.  
They weren't dull anymore like they had been this entire year.  
There was a certain light visible, a light that wasn't there before.  
_Hm_.  
Maybe, just maybe… he was wrong.  
"I'm ready, Modo. Please… trust me that I am…", the human girl whispered when he didn't respond, thereby guessing his thoughts.

He always admired her ability to feel what was going on inside someone else's head.  
It truly was a gift.  
Perhaps that was the reason why she and Vinnie fitted so well together.  
She always knew what was happening inside that complicated head of his and since he wasn't that much of a talker, it was this particular gift that made it work.  
But not even she had been able to save him from his demons.  
Not this time.

He quickly shook off these unpleasant thoughts and gave her a warm and reassuring smile.  
"I know you are, Kiwi ma'am."  
It wasn't even that much of a lie.  
The look on her face told him that she was telling the truth as well.  
She was genuinely convinced that she was ready for this.  
But was she really?  
That was the question.  
And there was only one way to find out.

So, with the words of Abigail still in the back of his mind, he decided to give her the benefit of the doubt for now and after giving her one last smile, he raised his hand and used the door knocker to announce their presence.  
No turning back now.  
No backward glances.  
It was time to look at the future.

**_…_**

"I'm glad you both could make it. Please, sit", Abigail told them with that warm smile of hers and she gestured to the couch close to the fireplace while she made herself comfortable on the big armchair across them.  
When they were all settled, Kiwi glanced at Modo before looking at the older female Martian.  
She had like a million butterflies in her stomach, mostly because she had no idea what to expect.  
This whole plan depended on Abigail's opinion and she wasn't sure where she was standing with the sweet old woman.

"Thanks for having us, ma'am", she eventually said to break the silence, which wasn't particularly awkward, but still too much for her to bear.  
Abigail adjusted her apron after crossing her legs.  
She somehow seemed small in the big chair, the way she was sitting there on the edge of her seat with her back as straight as an arrow.  
"It's the least I could do, child. So, Zevvi…", the older Martian immediately came to business, a thing Kiwi was grateful for.  
"Yeah… Zevvi", she smiled a bit uncertain, still nervous as hell.  
"After Modo called me, I figured you want to know more about her past, so I dug up her file…", Abigail told her as she leaned forward and grabbed a file that was similar to the one Modo had shown her yesterday, but thicker.

After licking her finger, she opened it and put on her glasses.  
Silence dawned upon them as she read the first lines before she looked up again, her green eyes peering over the edge of her glasses.  
"Unfortunately, there's little known about her past, which is not really surprising given the circumstances. What we do know is that she's born in a Plutarkian prison camp. Strangely enough, the fish kept a register, which made us able to find out that Zevvi's mother was brought in when she was sixteen years old. Eight months later, Zevvi is born."  
Kiwi's eyes grew big and she shot Modo a shocked look before looking back at Abigail, now sitting on the edge of her seat as well.  
"That means she was already pregnant when she got missing… Wait, did they know who the father was? Was he with her?"

"Not that I know of…", Abigail mumbled as she flipped a few pages with pursed lips and then shook her head.  
"No. There's no word about the father."  
Kiwi slumped back in the couch, realizing it was a stupid question anyway.  
If they knew who the father was and he happened to be alive by some miracle, they wouldn't be talking right now.  
Then Zevvi wouldn't be alone right now.  
"Sorry for the interruption. Please, go on."

"We only say sorry in this house when necessary, which is now hardly the case, young lady", the blond-furred Martian told her friendly before she looked back at the file.  
"Either way, as far as we know, Zevvi has spent most of her life in the same camp where she was born, along with her mother. We don't know much details, mainly because she doesn't wanna talk about it, which is her good right, of course…", Abigail trailed off as she flipped another page with a frown.  
"Ah, here it is. When she's about nine years old, her mother disappears. We have no idea where to, all we know is that someone paid a large sum of money for her. In Plutarkian gold, to be exact."

Modo and Kiwi shared a look.  
"Limburger", they said unison and Kiwi clenched her fists when she, again, realized how many lives were ruined by that awful sewer breath.  
Chances were that Mireya would still be alive if he hadn't found her.  
Zevvi would've had a rough start, yes, but at least she would still have her mother around to help her deal with everything that happened to her.  
But _no...  
_Limburger had to destroy yet another life.  
As he always did.  
If he wasn't dead already, she would've hunted him down and killed him herself without mercy or regret.

Abigail studied both of them before taking off her glasses and she pointed her piercing green eyes at Kiwi, who felt a bit uneased under her strict look.  
"Modo told me about Zevvi's uncle. How close you both were with him…"  
Kiwi swallowed with difficulty, but nodded to confirm that they, indeed, had been close.  
Once.  
In happier times.  
"Look, I, and others with me, have always assumed that Mireya is dead. Modo's story confirmed that thought, sadly enough. But we have no idea what really happened. It take it you do?"  
The human girl bit her lower lip as a shiver ran down her spine when the image of Vinnie holding his dead sister in his arms flashed before her eyes.  
That look on his face.  
His empty eyes.  
Her mutilated body.  
The blood.  
_So much blood…_

"Limburger bought her as leverage. Her brother was one of the best soldiers the Freedom Fighters had. Somehow, he must have found out about the connection and so he used her to force the Fighters to bend the knee. It failed, though. Things went horribly wrong and eventually ended with him pushing her off his building right in front of…"  
Her mouth closed with a clap, making her teeth chatter.  
Despite her anger, despite… _everything_, she still couldn't say his name out loud.  
Somehow, it just stuck in her throat.  
"...right in front of her brother", she eventually finished her sentence, fiddling with her fingers.

Abigail's face softened and she gave Kiwi a warm and soothing smile before she closed the file and put it on the table.  
That made the human girl frown because this couldn't be it, right?  
There had to be more.  
But it soon became clear why the older Martian didn't need the file anymore.  
"When we found Zevvi, or well, when _I_ found her…"  
"You found her?", Kiwi asked surprised, for this was the last thing she had expected.  
"Yes. It was pure coincidence that I did. I was just on my way home for a short break when I found her in the desert…"  
She trailed off as she stared at the fire with a frown on her face that made her look even older than she already was.  
The pain in her eyes told Kiwi that this moment had made a huge impact on the usually strong and imperturbable woman.  
That could only mean that it hadn't been a pleasant scene.  
And indeed, it wasn't.

"She was just lying there, close to the road, clinging onto the dead body of a young female Cave Mouse who, as I found out later, was her guardian ever since her mother was taken away from her. Tracks in the sand told us later that Zevvi had dragged the body with her for miles, in the sizzling heat, searching for help… It was heartbreaking."  
"Jesus… When did this happen?", Kiwi asked shocked.  
"Four months ago."  
That answer made the human girl frown in confusion.  
"But the Plutarkians are already gone for over more than a year… Why did no one find them earlier?"

"We're not entirely sure, but from what I understand, Zevvi and Luna, that's the guardian's name, managed to escape the camp right before the war was over. They fled into the mountains and stayed there, scared to get caught again and not knowing that peace had returned on Mars. Eventually, and I guess it's because food became scarce, they left their hideout and crossed the desert to find help. But Luna died from dehydration before they could."  
"But Zevvi didn't…"  
"No. Luna had given her all the water they had brought with them."  
Kiwi swallowed with difficulty when she heard that Luna had given her life for a child that wasn't her own.  
It was the ultimate sacrifice, one that made the already tragic story even more heartbreaking.

But Abigail wasn't done yet.  
"Shortly after I found them, I called Rose, who immediately came over to help me. But when we wanted to take her with us, she went ballistic. At first, we thought it was because she didn't want to leave Luna, which was partially true, but later on, we learned that she didn't want to be touched."  
"How did you manage to take her with you?", Kiwi asked, hanging on her every word.  
"She passed out. Her body was exhausted and even though Luna had given her water, she was still severely dehydrated. We brought her here and she slept for three days on a row. One of our doctors examined her in her sleep and put her on an IV to refuel her body. We had no idea what to expect when she would wake up, but when she did, nothing happened. She was just… _apathetic_. A ghost. She just lay there, staring at the ceiling. She didn't eat. She didn't drink. She didn't sleep. She didn't talk… Slowly, we made some progress with her, enough to make her trust me. I was able to make her do everything her body needs to survive, but that's all. She was impossible to connect with. But then you came by…", she said slowly as she gave Kiwi an investigating look.

"You're doing something to her, something good, although I don't know what it is. All it does is telling me that you're the right person to help her heal. But make no mistake, young lady. Some wounds are simply too deep. Some wounds will never heal. She will never be a normal girl. But I have the feeling that you already know that…"  
Kiwi slowly nodded.  
Oh, she knew alright.  
She knew all about incurable wounds, taunting demons and aching hole's in hearts.  
_Unfortunately_.

She then turned her head and looked at Modo, who looked back sadder than she had ever seen him.  
He obviously already knew Zevvi's story, but hearing it again affected him, she could tell.  
Not really strange.  
It was a horrible story.  
But there was still one thing that didn't make sense.  
"You told Throttle that you knew about Zevvi for only two weeks. How?"

Modo heaved a sigh as he slumped back in the couch.  
"Because it was only two weeks ago when Rose found out about the connection. That she's Vinnie's niece. It takes time, to investigate their backgrounds and most of the time, there's nothing to find. No traces. These children are ghosts. But two weeks ago, the Special Ops Team found the remains of the prison camp closeby the mountains. They send all the paperwork to Carbine, who gave it to Rose to look into it and here we are."

Kiwi stared at him, hardly able to breathe when she heard his explanation.  
"So you're telling me that it was… _him _who found the camp?"  
"His team did, yeah. I have no idea if he was with them when they did. He obviously didn't know about this. I mean, it's Vinnie we're talking about. It's not that he has the patience much less the attention span to go through some files, right?", the grey-furred giant chuckled the last part, for a moment sucked back in time and Kiwi smiled too, for he was right.  
There was just no way that he knew.  
Still.  
It felt as if the circle was complete.  
And she knew now.  
This was truly meant to be.

Abigail leaned forward and laid a hand on her knee.  
"My sweet child. Modo told me about your connection with Zevvi's uncle. How his departure devastated you. How you saw Zevvi as an opportunity to get him back…"  
Kiwi stared at the hand on her knee, already knowing what was next.  
But she said nothing.  
She just let it happen.  
"I don't want to interfere with matters that doesn't concern me, but right now, Zevvi _is_ my concern. I'm responsible for her and I care about her. I owe it to her to ask you this: Are you sure that adopting Zevvi isn't an attempt to fill the void he has left behind?"

She was actually the first one who dared to ask her this question.  
She most certainly wasn't the first one to think it.  
Kiwi knew Throttle and Modo did.  
But she just didn't understand why they would think that.  
Did they not know?  
Apparently, they didn't.

After staring at Abigail's hand for a little while, Kiwi looked up again, straight into the green eyes of the older female that was sitting across her.  
She didn't blame her for asking this burning question, she knew she had to for Zevvi.  
All she could do now was tell her the truth.  
To eliminate this notion once and for all.  
And so she did.

"Yes, I'm sure. You wanna know why? Because nothing, absolutely _nothing _can replace him. There's nothing that is able to fill the aching hole in my heart. Only he can. But he made his choice. And so did I."  
The human girl leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees without breaking eye contact.  
"I felt something when I saw her. Something happened. We had this click… And I just knew… this girl needs me. It is my job to take care of her, to protect her, to give her a place to call home. It isn't about me. It's about her. It's all about her. All she did was giving me a reason to fight again. Is it because she's his niece? Maybe, but _only _because I was connected with him. I really think that has something to do with what is happening between us… Why she trusts me. It has to be."

Abigail studied her face, probably looking for a sign that she wasn't being honest, but Kiwi knew she wouldn't find anything.  
Because she was completely honest.  
There were no lies hidden in her words.  
No underlying thoughts.  
_No_.  
It was the truth and nothing but the truth.  
All Abigail needed to do was believe her.  
After a long silence, the older Martian opened her mouth to respond, but someone beat her to it.  
"You came back."

Everyone froze when they heard the fragile child's voice and they all looked at the stairs.  
Zevvi was sitting on one of the steps, holding the railing with both hands as she peeked through the small bars.  
A shock went through Kiwi's body again when she looked into her deep-red eyes, but it wasn't as heavy as when she saw her for the first time.  
Still, the resemblance was striking, which became even more clear now the room they were in wasn't as poorly lit as Zevvi's room had been when they met.  
_God_.  
She was beautiful.  
Beyond that.

Kiwi then realized that she was still staring at the child with her eyes wide open and she quickly recovered herself as she gave Zevvi a warm and soothing smile.  
"Of course I came back. We did a full-on pinky swear. No one ever breaks a pinky swear."  
Zevvi stared at her for a little while, as if she was weighing her options, just like the first time they met.  
But then, she slowly climbed off the stairs.  
Kiwi followed her every movement, forcing herself to sit still.  
She looked so small and young, even though it turned out that she was already about ten years old.

Then again, she _did_ grow up in a prison camp.  
As a prisoner.  
Kiwi had never been to such a camp, but it wasn't really hard to imagine how it was like.  
No school.  
No friends.  
No proper food.  
No peers…  
_Nothing_.  
Nothing that a child needed so badly while growing up.  
As a result, there _had_ to be deficits, both cognitive and physical.  
No child would be normal after such a bad start.  
It didn't make it less heartbreaking though.  
Because it was.  
_Poor Zevvi…  
_She deserved so much more than this.

When the young white-furred child eventually reached Kiwi, she -again- managed to surprise everyone in the room.  
Well, perhaps not Kiwi, for this wasn't the first time that it happened.  
Because again, Zevvi climbed on her lap and wrapped her little arms around her before resting her head on Kiwi's chest.  
"I'm so glad you came back…", she whispered as she closed her beautiful red eyes.  
After a small hesitation, the human girl wrapped her arms around her as well, already having tears in her eyes again.  
But this time it wasn't because of him.

No, this were tears for Zevvi and Zevvi alone.  
For this little girl, who's life was nothing more than a tragic story.  
No joy.  
No happiness.  
No light.  
No, only pain.  
Misery.  
Darkness.  
_God_.  
What a world they lived in.

_Wandering child, so lost, so helpless…  
__Yearning for my guidance..._

Kiwi rested her chin on Zevvi's head as she closed her eyes for a moment, sniffing up her scent that was so familiar.  
She opened them just in time to see Abigail sharing a look with Modo, a look that spoke volumes and the human girl smiled as she closed her eyes again, finally able to breathe again.  
They had Abigail's blessing.  
And just like that, there was a future ahead of them.  
And in that future, forever awaits.


	23. Chapter 23

Hey there!

Thanks for the reviews, really, they always make so happy, you don't even know.  
Oh, and to set something straight;  
Vinnie and his team found the _remains of the camp_, **not** Zevvi.  
Zevvi was already living in the house with Abigail and the rest of the kids when they found out about the camp.  
It's still unclear if Vinnie knows about her but Kiwi, and the rest with her, suspects that he doesn't, for he isn't really the type of guy to sit down and read some files.  
And they're probably right about that ;)  
I mean, it's Vinnie we're talking about here, hehe.

Aaaaanyway...  
Here's another update.  
Pretty quick, I know, but I already wrote this chapter before I even finished the previous one and I figured; why wait, huh?  
So here it is.  
But oh boy, the drama, hehe.

Hope you guys like it!  
Enjoy! ^^

* * *

**Chapter 23**

'_Out of difficulties grow miracles.'_

_A few days later…  
_"I think this belongs over there…", Harley mused, sitting between the blocks of the characteristic red stone and she picked one up with a frown on her face.  
But when she tried to put it on another one, it soon became clear that it didn't fit and she dropped it again with a loud sigh.  
She then looked at Kiwi, blowing a strand of hair out of her heated face.  
"Seriously, how hard can it be to build a bed?"

Kiwi shrugged, sitting on one of the blocks with her head in her hands in defeat.  
They were trying to put Zevvi's bed together for hours now, but it somehow just didn't work out and the frustration started running high.  
"Apparently, very hard. Maybe we should ask Thro…", but the Martian female already shook her head to stop her, clearly insulted by this suggestion.  
"No, we really shouldn't and we won't. Come on, Kiwi, look at us. We're intelligent, courageous and independent women! We don't need no man to tell us how to put a cot together!"

The human girl raised her hands with arched brows and her blue eyes wide open because of this outraged response.  
"Okay, okay, chill. If you say so… Geez, must have hit a nerve…"  
She then looked back at the pile of stones that was Zevvi's bed and she rested her head in her hands again, heaving a sigh.  
"Though I gotta say that I don't feel particularly intelligent, courageous and independent at the moment… _God_, I miss Ikea…"

Before Harley could ask what she meant with that, a knock on the door made them both look up a bit surprised, for it was already late in the afternoon and Kiwi wasn't expecting visitors.  
After one more frustrated look at the bed, the human girl rose on her feet and walked to the door to open it.  
But when she saw who was standing on her doorstep, her eyes grew big.  
"Carbine! To what do I owe this visit?", she called out, not able to hide her surprise.

But who could blame her, huh?  
After all, it wasn't exactly a secret that the relationship she had with Carbine was laborious ever since they met and so, she was the last person she thought she would see here, knocking on her door.  
And yet, here she was.  
Feeling all uncomfortable, just like Kiwi.  
"I uh… Well, this is gonna sound weird, but I uh… I have a surprise for you and I...", the light-grey-furred female started as she looked inside the room over Kiwi's shoulder but she trailed off with her brown eyes wide open when she saw the chaos, with in the middle a very frustrated Harley.  
"What on Mars is going on here?"

Kiwi looked over her shoulder as well, as if she had no idea what was going on, which was stupid for she knew all too well what was happening behind her, but she was still a bit flabbergasted by this sudden and unexpected visit.  
"We uh… we're trying to put Zevvi's bed together, but it's a bit harder than we thought…", she explained but then she turned her gaze back on Carbine, her blue eyes narrowed.  
"What do you mean, a surprise? I mean, isn't the fact that you're standing here a surprise on itself?"  
_Oh, oops.  
_That wasn't supposed to come out.  
Kiwi's cheeks turned red as she shot Carbine an apologetic look.  
"Sorry, that was… tasteless."

"Actually, it was quite funny", Harley disagreed with her as she suddenly popped up behind Kiwi, who elbowed her in the ribs in return.  
"Harley!", she hissed, but Carbine held up her hand.  
"It's okay, Kiwi. Harley is right and, as usual, not afraid to speak up her mind. I know it's beyond weird that I'm standing here, but I am, so uh… yeah... _Surprise…"  
_The silence that followed was more than just awkward and Carbine cleared her throat as she pulled on her collar.  
"Ahem… Anyway… the _real_ surprise is in the garage so if you don't mind coming with me?"  
Kiwi glanced at Harley, who laid a hand on her shoulder with an encouraging smile on her still heated face.  
"You go with her. In the meantime, I shall continue this disaster plan that's called a bed."

Kiwi just nodded, not knowing what to say and Carbine stepped aside to let her pass.  
She then pointed at one of the blocks at the right.  
"You should start with that one", she told Harley before she turned around and walked away.  
Harley stared at the chaos for a moment and then looked at Kiwi, who shrugged a bit sheepishly.  
"I guess it's worth a try, right?"  
And without waiting for an answer, she turned around to follow Carbine, who was already halfway the hallway.

The light-brown-furred female followed them with her eyes until they went around the corner and then shook her head as she closed the door.  
"_Honestly_... Carbine having a surprise for Kiwi? Who would've thought? So miracles _do _happen, after all."  
She then rolled up her sleeves, looking at the bed to be with a healthy portion of determination and renewed strength.  
"Okay, bed from hell. Let's see if the universe has some more miracles to spare..."

**_…_**

After a slightly awkward and silent walk to the garage, Kiwi followed Carbine inside.  
While she was still contemplating what to say to the former General to make this whole thing a bit less uncomfortable, the latter already stopped next to an object covered with a white sheet.  
She then turned around to face Kiwi, her tail softly swinging back and forth, given away her unease.  
"So, uh… Throttle told me about Zevvi. That Abigail agreed with the adoption and that you need to go over there as much as you can to get to know each other a bit before she moves to the base. He _also_ told me that he and Modo are taking turns to give you a ride and I… Well, I just assumed… uh..."  
She fell silent again and fiddled with her fingers.

Kiwi could only stare at her, for she had never seen Carbine like this.  
She was always so… _stabile_.  
Strong.  
Fearless.  
Always knowing what to say, always ready to share her opinion, whether one liked to hear it or not.  
Seeing her stutter like this was just mindblown, to say the least.  
Perhaps even worrying.  
And it made her wonder...  
_What the hell was under that sheet? _

After staring at her feet for a little while, Carbine glanced at Kiwi again and the human girl gave her a reassuring smile when she saw the stuffed look on her face.  
Like she always did.  
Always looking after one another.  
To keep everyone happy.  
_As long as everyone was happy...  
_It seemed to give Carbine the courage to continue, because she grabbed the sheet with both hands, this time without hesitation.  
"I just wanted to give you this…", and she pulled the sheet off in one smooth movement.

When Kiwi saw what was hidden underneath it, her mouth dropped for the second time this day.  
"But that is… That's…"  
"Stoker's bike, yes. I fixed it up and I want you to have it. So you can go to Zevvi any time you want… And when she's here, I figured you should be able to take her for a ride, you know… to have some uh… quality time, or whatever it is that mothers do with their daughter."

_Speechless_.  
Kiwi was absolutely speechless.  
All she could do was stare at the beautiful bike, her mouth still wide open, as were her eyes.  
Her silence made Carbine even more nervous and she looked at the bike before she looked back at Kiwi again, her eyes filled with insecurity.  
"You _do_ know how to ride a bike, right? I mean, I don't wanna..."  
But Kiwi already nodded to confirm before she could finish the sentence.

However, she wasn't planning on telling Carbine the whole truth.  
That she, indeed, knew how to ride a bike but that the thought of doing so without having a certain white-furred someone around to guide her scared her to death.  
But she didn't want to bring him up.  
Not anymore.  
Besides, it wasn't really the point right now.  
No, the point was that Carbine was _actually_ being nice to her.  
Genuinely nice.

_Miracles…  
_They came in many forms.  
Obviously.  
Perhaps she should at least _try_ to say something, for this was starting to get awkward again.  
And so she let her heart speak.  
"My god, Carbine, this is…I don't know what to say... But…but I have to ask… Are you sure about this? I mean, it's Stoker's bike. I uh… I dunno, are you sure you wanna give it to… _me_?"

The former General let out her breath as she laid a hand on one of the handlebars, avoiding Kiwi's gaze in the process.  
"Yes, I'm sure. Stoker adored you, Kiwi. I'm sure this is what he would've wanted… It's about right…"  
Her voice broke and she stopped talking to grab herself together, but Kiwi just took her by the arm without thinking and pulled her in a tight hug, not able to just stand there and helplessly watch her struggle with her grief.  
Not even after everything that went down between them.  
No one should be alone when being in pain.  
Not even the tough and bitchy former General.  
No.  
_No one. _

Carbine stiffened at first, it was clear that this sudden move surprised her, but then, she burst into tears, her whole body trembling in Kiwi's arms because of her heartache.  
Kiwi just held her, stroking her back to comfort her, feeling her pain as her own.  
"I just miss him so much…", the usual tough female mouse sobbed, almost clinging onto Kiwi in desperation.  
"I know…", the human girl whispered, tightening her grip around the heartbroken light-grey-furred Martian.

For a little while, they just stood there.  
Holding on to each other.  
Both missing someone like an amputated limb.  
Not able to walk straight without the other.  
It was cruel.  
But at least they understood each other now.  
As it turned out, they weren't so different from each other after all.  
They shared a pain that only those that lost a loved one could understand.  
Mutual pain.  
_It creates a bond.  
_Sad, but true.

When Carbine eventually calmed down a bit, Kiwi gently untangled herself so she could look her in the eye.  
"Thank you, Carbine. From the bottom of my heart. This is the sweetest thing someone has ever done for me and it means the world. Especially now..."  
Carbine nodded, clearly not knowing what to do with this compliment as she wiped away her tears with a trembling hand and Kiwi smiled, although it was a sad smile.  
But when she looked back at the bike again, she suddenly felt two hands grabbing her shoulders in a tight grip and she looked up a bit startled, straight into Carbine's burning hazel-colored eyes.  
"You hang on, you hear me? Things will get better, sooner than you think. Just… hang on."

Kiwi froze by hearing these words.  
Well, more by hearing the compelling tone in her voice.  
Somehow, it felt as if the former General was giving her a message.  
An important one.  
One she didn't understand.  
But before she could ask, Carbine pushed the keys of the bike in her hand and made a hasty retreat, leaving a very confused human girl behind.  
_What on Mars was she talking about?_

_**...**_

That night, Kiwi couldn't sleep, no matter how hard she tried.  
It was kind of strange, for this day had been more than exhausting, mainly because of that stupid bed, which had been child's play to put together after Carbine's golden tip, as Harley had told her when she came back from the garage, completely mentally drained by Carbine's surprise.  
Still, despite all that, she couldn't sleep.

Ever since her head had touched the soft pillow, there was a certain restlessness that kept her awake and she wasn't sure what it meant.  
Of course, Carbine's vague but compelling message kept her busy, her brain constantly trying to figure out where the light-grey-furred mouse was getting at.  
But it wasn't just that.  
Something was eating her.  
Gnawing on her insides.  
Something that felt a lot like fear.  
And she suspected that it had something to do with Zevvi.

Even though she was absolutely certain that she had made the right decision to take Zevvi in, she was beyond scared.  
Scared to do something wrong.  
Scared to fail the little white-furred child that had become so important to her in this short matter of time.  
That sweet child that counted on her now.  
Next to all that, she was scared to do this alone.  
Of course, she had her little but loving family to help her.  
But still.  
She somehow felt alone.  
As if there was a piece missing.  
_And here we go again... _

Heaving a sigh in annoyance, she got upright and turned around to lean against the cold wall.  
After wrapping her arms around her legs, she rested her chin on her knees and her blue eyes wandered over the small bed across the room before they gazed out of the window.  
More than a million stars looked back, twinkling like diamonds in the pitch-black sky.

Although she lived here for a little while now, the breathtaking sight still managed to amaze her every time she saw it.  
Which was good, because she desperately needed the distraction.  
To stop her heart from forcing her brain to think about a certain person that she didn't want to think about.  
_Oh no.  
_He was the _last_ thing she wanted to think about.  
Now and forever.

But luckily, the sight mesmerized her like it always did.  
It made her calm, too.  
Well, not entirely, perhaps.  
But at least enough to not feel the constant urge to go outside and run away as far as she could.  
Fear for the unknown tended to make her do that sometimes.  
Run.  
Just like… _him_.

_Argh!  
__Stop it, young lady!  
__He's dead, remember?!  
_He doesn't exist, not anymore.  
Every thought dedicated to him was a spilled one, nothing more than a figment of her imagination.  
_A waste_.

But despite her anger because of what he had done to her, there were still moments such as this one.  
And during these moments, her heart forced her brain to remember, even though she tried to stop it with everything she had in her.  
But it didn't care about what she wanted.  
It forced her to remember anyway.  
To remember what she had lost.  
_Loneliness..._

Everyone kept telling her that she wasn't alone.  
And most of the time, she believed them.  
But when she wasn't surrounded by the loving warmth of those that she considered being her family, she felt lonely like never before.  
It became worse by the day, strangely enough.  
The void he had left behind.  
It became bigger, a shadow that was always there, ready to swallow her.  
_Darkness..._

No matter how hard she tried to forget, she couldn't deny that she was simply incomplete without him.  
It was a fact.  
The harsh and unadulterated truth.  
And there was nothing that could change this truth.  
Not even her anger.  
Not even his awful betrayal.  
Not even Zevvi...

_Lead me, save me from my solitude..._

She hated it.  
She hated _herself_ for it.  
That she still had moments like this one.  
Moments of weakness.  
It made her sick.  
Only _thinking_ about him made her sick.  
It tied her insides in a knot.  
It made her feel like there was a stone in her stomach, making her heart heavy at the same time.  
It made her nauseous.  
Her mind knew he wasn't worth the trouble.  
Not anymore.  
But her heart just didn't listen.  
Her aching heart.  
Her _yearning_ heart.

Without really realizing it, she closed her eyes, which was a risky move.  
_Dangerous.  
_To let herself be distracted from the distraction.  
Because it wasn't only darkness that looked back, no…  
_He_ was there too.  
Looking back at her with those ruby-red eyes that burned.  
Burned with love…  
...true love…

_No._

It was as if something slapped her in the face, something that looked a _lot_ like reality and her eyes flew open again.  
She was about to give herself a huge inner scolding for allowing herself to be carried away like that, but then, that strange and maddening restlessness washed over  
her again.  
It made her body tremble like a blade of grass in the wind and she frowned in confusion.  
Confusion that soon grew even bigger when, despite the cold that defined the lonely Martian nights, her body temperature rose and sweat already started to form on her forehead.  
She reflexively threw the thick blanket off of her, the blanket that was supposed to give her warmth and comfort but now felt like a prison instead.  
_A golden cage without sunlight..._

But it didn't help, in fact, panic joined the confusion when nausea pressed against her windpipe, making it very hard to breathe all of a sudden and a sharp pain in her head made her almost look cross-eyed.  
She had no idea what was going on here, but she knew one thing.  
She needed air.  
Fresh and cooling air.  
To cool down her overstimulated body.  
_Jesus_.  
Was she having a heart attack?  
Or was this how dying felt like?

_God, no.  
_Despite the huge aching hole in her heart, she didn't want to die.  
Not anymore.  
Zevvi needed her.  
She needed Zevvi.  
_Goddammit.  
_She had found back a purpose.  
She couldn't be taken away, not now.  
Not now she had something to fight for again.  
Not even the universe could be that cruel, right?  
_Air.  
_She needed air.

Still shaking, she slid off the bed, but when she put weight on her legs, she noticed how weak they were.  
As if they were made of rubber.  
Biting her lower lip, she stumbled a few passes towards the balcony, determined to get there, no matter what.  
But she was only halfway when her legs gave out and she dropped down on the floor like a sack of potatoes.

The cold of the floor entered her body through the bare skin on her knees and rushed through her veins, making her teeth chattering.  
But despite the cold that froze her aching heart, she was still sweating.  
In fact, it now streamed down her back, soaking the shirt she always slept in and she bend over, resting her weight on her hands.  
She still had difficulty breathing and she squeezed her eyes shut when the panic grew even bigger.  
_What the hell was going on here?_

But then, she heard something behind her.  
At first, she didn't recognize the sound, her mind still too occupied with trying to figure out what was happening here.  
But when her brain finally processed the signal that her ears send up, she froze.  
_The door.  
_It was the door of her room sliding open.

Slowly, she opened her eyes, and she suddenly could breathe again.  
It was shallow and therefore hardly sufficient, but it was ten times better than that awful feeling of being choked to death.  
Nevertheless, it all made sense now.  
Because even without looking behind her, she already knew who was standing on her doorstep.  
From the moment the door opened, she knew.  
She felt it in every fiber of her body.

"_Things will get better, sooner than you think…"  
_

A hint of the most wonderful fragrance that existed in this entire universe and beyond caressed her nostrils, making her heart flutter in her chest.  
It tickled her from the inside, causing her to feel pins and needles all over her body as goosebumps spread throughout her skin.  
For a moment, she just stared at the floor, at her fingers that clung onto the red stone of the floor in her room.  
The silence was deafening.  
Heavy.  
Loaded.

_Nighttime sharpens, heightens each sensation...  
__Darkness stirs and wakes imagination..._

Was this a dream?  
Or even worse, was she dead?  
_No.  
_It felt too real.  
It _had _to be real.  
Slowly, she pushed herself back upright and her hands clenched into fists from the moment she let go of the cold floor.  
_Trembling_ fists.  
She was still shaking like a leaf.  
God.  
_Help me._

A lump formed in her throat and no matter how hard she tried to swallow it away, it stuck to her gullet like glue.  
Somehow, the thought of looking over her shoulder frightened her.  
As if she was scared to be disappointed.  
That he wasn't really there.  
That her body and mind were playing some sick and twisted game for whatever reason.  
But her heart couldn't lie, right?  
And it was her heart that told her to look over her shoulder.  
That it was okay.  
So, after taking a deep inhale through the nose in an attempt to take back control over her still shallow respiration, she slowly turned her head...

Time just stopped ticking.  
So was her heart.  
In fact, everything that could halt stopped from the moment she laid her eyes on him.  
_Him.  
_Her missing half.  
The person that was once her entire world.  
The person that she never imagined seeing again.  
But there he was.  
Standing on her doorstep.  
Just like that.  
So it was true what they said.  
_Once you stop chasing the one thing you desire more than anything, it will stop running and come to you._

True indeed.  
Almost eagerly, as if her eyes needed to convince her brain that he was really standing there by taking in every detail, her gaze wandered over his worn-out biker shoes, his baggy black biker jeans, his soft-yellow shirt that was tight enough to show the greatly shaped body that was hidden underneath it…  
_His muscular chest.  
_The very same chest where she had rested her head on for countless times already.  
To listen to the calming rhythm of his heartbeat.  
A chest that was once her safe haven.  
_His muscular arms.  
_The very same arms that had wrapped around her for God only knew how many times.  
To comfort her.  
To make her feel safe.  
Arms that were once her shelter.

Her eyes darted up to his ears, almost desperately avoiding his gaze, for she wasn't ready yet.  
She wasn't sure if she would ever be ready.  
So she studied his ears with an almost obsessive precision.  
His big ears, the left one still carrying the black and red diamond studs, the token of their love.  
Love that was now turned into stone.  
Cold and hard stone, like the floor she was sitting on right now.  
Love that was once their binding.  
Their core.

It became their downfall at the same time.  
Doomed to never be able to walk alone.  
Doomed to never be whole without the other.  
Doomed to be together forever, something that once wasn't so bad.  
Quite the opposite, actually.  
It used to feel like a privilege.  
But now…  
Now she had felt the cold of true loneliness, now she had seen the darkness of incompleteness, she wasn't so sure anymore.

_It's the things we love most that destroy us..._

Shrugging off these horrible thoughts, she now quickly let her still eager gaze wander over the silver mask.  
A mask that hid more than just his physical scars.  
A broken soul.  
Hiding in the darkness.  
Trapped.

_I fought so hard to free you..._

Next up, his antennas, which he had used once to share his love for her, that night on Earth after the Stalkers were defeated.  
It was before they connected.  
Or maybe it was _that_ _very moment_ that they connected.  
She wasn't sure.  
It didn't matter either.  
Her eyes followed the mask down to his nose.  
To his cute buck teeth, the purple bandana around his neck, his sleeveless black hoodie, his tail...

Every muscle in her body tensed as her blue eyes wandered up again and she braced herself, knowing she couldn't stop the inevitable from happening.  
But _damn, _she was scared.  
How long had she yearned for this moment to come?  
How long had she dreamed of this moment to happen?  
_Too long.  
_And now the moment was there and all she feared was disappointment.  
What if he wasn't the same anymore?  
What if he was no longer the mouse she once knew?  
_The mouse she once loved?_

But despite her fear, she looked up and when she finally, _finally…_ after all this time of hoping and dreaming, looked into his mesmerizing ruby-red eyes again, a shock went through her body.  
Her fears were unfounded.  
Obviously.  
_Holy shit.  
_There was no doubt.  
It was him.  
It was really him.  
He was back.  
_Vinnie..._

There were no words that could describe what it did to her to see him standing there.  
To see him looking back at her went even beyond that.  
But even though his eyes were so familiar, they looked back at her sadder than she'd ever seen before.  
He somehow looked older, too.  
As if he had been away for twenty years instead of just one and it broke her already broken heart.  
_How did it come to this?  
_She slowly turned around without breaking eye contact, still sitting on her knees.  
For a moment, all they could do was just stare at each other, both completely paralyzed.

But then, something changed in his eyes, the sadness got accompanied by both love and desire.  
His backpack slid off his shoulder and landed on the floor with a thump, but Kiwi hardly heard it.  
Her eyes took in every movement, every detail of his beautiful face, for she knew what was next.  
She didn't blink, she simply didn't dare to, beyond scared that she would miss it.  
She couldn't miss it.  
Not after yearning for it for this long.

Again, he didn't disappoint her and the left corner of his mouth curled up into that crooked and arrogant smile.  
That smile, that was once able to rock her world.  
Her entire existence.  
It still did.  
_Goddammit_, it still did.

A tear left her right eye and rolled down her cheek as she slowly climbed back on her feet, not able to turn her gaze away.  
Jesus, he was so _goddamn_ sexy.  
It was almost a crime.  
Her body immediately responded.  
Of course, it did.  
He was standing there, in his full and handsome glory.  
How could she not be affected by that?  
_God_, she had missed him so much.  
It was still very hard to believe that he was standing there, being more real than he'd ever been for the past year.

With their eyes still locked, she did a few steps into his direction, her body and heart yearning to feel his soft fur under her fingers.  
To feel his strong and safe arms around her.  
To taste his lips…  
But just before she dropped all her defenses, before she completely succumbed to him, it suddenly felt as if she got struck by lightning and she stopped dead in her tracks.  
_What on both Earth and Mars was she doing?  
_Let us not forget that this wasn't just the mouse that had once meant the world to her.  
The mouse that used to be her one companion.  
Her lover and her friend.

No, let us remember that this was the very same mouse that had left her behind, broken and irreparable.  
The mouse that betrayed her like no one ever had.  
Not just that.  
He had denied her.  
_Humiliated _her.  
And here she was, about to jump in his arms as if all of this had never happened.  
Seriously, where was her self-respect?  
Well, in her defense, him popping up completely out of the blue was… _shocking,_ to say the least.

_Still_.

As soon as she stopped moving, he seemed to come back to senses as well, for his smile vanished like smoke in the wind and his ears drooped as he turned his gaze away in shame.  
Seeing this transformation only sparked the anger that had been overshadowed by shock up to this moment.  
The very same anger that had made it possible for her to go back to her life, right after that horrible conversation.  
To move on, despite the aching hole in her heart that kept reminding her every _goddamn _minute of the day that she wasn't whole.  
That she was incomplete.  
_That _anger.

It now chased away the last remnants of shock and she clenched her fists again, but this time with so much strength that the remains of her already broken nails cut in her flesh.  
Not that she cared.  
She hardly felt it.  
With a little effort, she succeeded to open her clenched jaws, even though she wasn't sure if she could trust her voice.  
But she asked the question, the one that was burning on her tongue, anyway.  
"What are you doing here?"

Much to her relief, her voice cooperated.  
It sounded hoarse, thick of emotion, but at least it worked.  
Not just that, there was even an undertone as sharp as a knife audible, one that gave away her anger.  
Her pain.  
Her misery.  
Her heartache.  
It gave away every amount of emotion, tiny and big, that came with being humiliated like she was.  
With being betrayed.

His shoulders slumped as he bit his lower lip, clearly deeply affected by hearing the pain in her voice.  
_Good_.  
It was the _least_ he deserved.  
After staring at the ground for a while, his tail twitching in unease, he looked up again and the guilt that was written upon his face almost made her anger vanish like snow under the sun.  
His words, however, stopped that process before it could even begin.  
"Look, sweetheart, I… You're angry. I get it…"

Kiwi blinked a few times when she heard him call her_ 'sweetheart'.  
_After everything he did to her, he still had neither the presence of mind nor the decency to call her by her name.  
He knew damn well how important that was to her, how much that meant to her and yet, he didn't.  
Next to that, how could he _possibly_ know what she felt?

_The tears I might have shed for your dark fate, grow cold and turn to tears of hate..._

She gritted her teeth, hardly able to control the anger that now fired like a missile because of these empty and stupid words.  
"You get it? _You get it?! _How _dare_ you even _think _that? You have _no_ idea…", she started almost hissing, but she had to stop again to get herself back under control, to stop the tears that were now burning behind her eyes.  
Tears of anger.  
Tears of pain.  
_Tears he didn't deserve. _

She closed them for a moment, taking a few deep breaths before opening them again.  
"You have _no_ idea what I've been through. You have no idea what it did to me… what _you _did to me by leaving me like that. Because you left, remember? You…"  
Again, she got overwhelmed by her emotions, but this time, she wasn't able to stop it.  
To stop this almost hysterical anger that was forged by her broken heart.  
That was waged by his betrayal.

Before she could even process it, or he for that matter, she was already standing in front of him and after planting both hands on his chest, she pushed him away with all the strength she had in her.  
He stumbled backward, but managed to remain on his feet as he looked at her with those piercing deep-red eyes of his...  
...those _pleading_ eyes…

"You _left_! You _just_ left me, even though you _promised_ to be there for me! You promised me on our wedding that you would follow me _anywhere_, that you would _always_ be with me and beside me, to guard me and to guide me, _for all eternity_!", she yelled at him with breaking voice as the unwanted tears blurred her vision, making her unable to see the burning guilt in his eyes.  
Which was probably a good thing.

She pushed him again, but this time he was prepared and he managed to stay put.  
It made her even angrier.  
In fact, she had never been this angry in her entire life and she just snapped like an elastic band that was stretched too far.  
A red mist formed before her eyes and she started to hit him on the chest with clenched fists, over and over again.  
"You _promised_ me a world with no more night and you just _left_ me… _all_ _alone…_ in the dark… How could you _do_ that to me?! How could you _betray_ me like that?!"  
At first, he did nothing.  
He just stood there, letting it all happen and Kiwi burst into tears, still hitting him and pulling on his clothes with everything she had in her.  
"I needed you, _so_ badly, but you just left me… without blinking… You _broke_ me...", she sobbed hysterically, tears streaming down her face.

It was then when she felt two hands gently but firmly grabbing her wrists and she shook her head as she already tried to yank herself free again.  
"_No_, let me _go_!"  
But he didn't.  
_Goddammit, _he didn't.  
"I said; let me go! Now! You have _no _right! Not anymore!", she cried fiercely, squeezing her eyes shut as she still struggled to get free.  
For _fuck _sake, he needed to let her go.  
And quickly, too.  
Feeling his hands, his warm hands, around her wrists took her off guard.  
It distracted her from the main course here.  
She couldn't let that happen.  
To let down her defenses.  
If she did, she had no idea what would happen.  
And truth be told, she wasn't sure if she was ready to find out.

_Wildly my mind beats against you..._

"I _hate _you, you hear me?! I hate you with _everything_ I have in me…"  
But her voice was losing its strength.  
So was her body.  
Her attempts to get free became less powerful for she needed to use all her energy to remain on her feet.  
"_I hate you…_", she whispered heartbroken, now leaning against him to stop herself from collapsing.

_I try to resist…_

Suddenly, his right hand let go of hers and she felt his fingers, his furry and soft fingers, under her chin.  
They gently forced her to look up, but she stubbornly kept her eyes closed.  
She couldn't bear to look at him.  
To look into those eyes that told so many stories.  
Those eyes, that were the windows to his soul.  
His _wandering_ soul.  
Searching for a home.  
For safety and security.  
She heard him breathe in and she already violently shook her head to stop him from saying anything.  
She couldn't bear to hear his voice.  
To hear the voice that was fulfilled with promises.  
_False promises…  
_"Kiwi…"

_...yet my soul obeys..._

She froze as her heart almost exploded out of her chest and her lower lip started to tremble again.  
_He said her name.  
_Before she could stop herself, she slowly opened her eyes.  
His face was just inches away from hers and his scent suddenly filled her nose when she unconsciously lowered her defenses.  
It made her dizzy, for some reason.  
As if the ground underneath them was moving like waving water.  
Like the ocean on Earth.  
But there was no sun.  
No fresh sea breeze.  
No sound of boats and seagulls.  
Only darkness.  
Cold and silent darkness.

_Floating, falling...  
__Sweet intoxicating..._

"No…", she mumbled, one last attempt to stop this before it could even begin.  
But it had already begun.  
He let go of her chin as she stared into his eyes, his mesmerizing eyes…  
Tenderly, he took her face in his hands.  
His thumbs wiped away her tears and she gave him an almost pleading look, knowing she was close to her breaking point.  
Close to the point of no return.  
But he didn't back down.  
On the contrary.  
He looked back at her with a frown that made him look even older.  
_Burdened_.  
"I'm so… _so _sorry for leaving you…", he whispered as he gently tucked a strand of her black hair behind her ear.

_Touch me, trust me…  
__Savor each sensation..._

His low voice, the one that carried so many memories with it, took her breath away and without thinking, she raised her hands and laid them on his arms.  
Her fingers slid through the white fur a bit hesitant at first, but soon thereafter, she let out her breath, for it felt like coming home.  
To feel the soft hairs under her skin.  
_Finally...  
_It seemed to have the same effect on him because he closed his eyes from the moment he felt her touch and she felt his body relax a bit.  
A tear got caught in his lashes, but eventually managed to break free and it slowly rolled down his cheek, glittering in the soft light of the stars that shined down on them through the window.

As her blue eyes followed the tiny drop that reflected his pain, her anger got suddenly accompanied by something even far more dangerous.  
_Desire_.  
It set her whole body on fire.  
It made her forget about right or wrong.  
About _'if'_ or _'when'_.  
About everything, actually.  
Boundaries fade at the point of no return.  
There was no good or bad anymore.  
Only fire.  
Flames as hot as the sun, ready to consume them.

_No use resisting...  
__Abandon thought and let the dream descend..._

Dangerous indeed.  
Because when he opened his eyes again, when she saw his pain, his desire, his love… she was lost.  
Completely lost.  
Past the point of no return.  
_He was really here.  
_She grabbed his bandana to pull him closer before she practically crashed her lips on his.  
It took him like a nano-second to respond, clearly surprised by this sudden move.  
_Yeah, well.  
_He wasn't the only one.  
But then, he kissed her back with a hunger she had never felt before and that was saying something given their history.

_By the gods...  
_Again, she couldn't find the words to describe what it did to her to feel his lips on hers again.  
To taste him again.  
It was _crazy_ what he did to her, in both presence and absence.  
Even beyond that.  
It was simply incomprehensible.  
_Love…  
_It was treacherous.  
Erratic.  
_Defining. _

He deepened the kiss as he let go of her head and when she felt his strong arms wrapping around her, she broke down crying again.  
How much she had yearned for this moment.  
And it felt even better than she had dared to dream.  
Everything else was forgotten for now.  
He was back.  
He was holding her again.  
Her home.  
Her shelter.  
Her _everything. _

She clung onto him, kissing him almost desperately as tears still streamed down her face.  
He pulled her even closer to him and their bodies entwined, defenseless and silent.  
There was no going back now.  
No backward glances.  
_No...  
__Not anymore. _

He lifted her and she wrapped her legs around his waist as he carried her to the bed without breaking off their kiss.  
_Their passionate kiss.  
_Passion driven by anger, pain, love and desire.  
Mostly pain.  
_Mutual pain.  
_He gently laid her down on the soft blankets and her hands already slid down his back to his pants.  
Her fingers pulled on his belt, but her hands were too shaky and she moaned against his lips in frustration.

It was then that Vinnie broke off the kiss and she opened her eyes, only to see him looking back with eyes as black as the night, letting her heartbeat rise to an unprecedented level.  
"Kiwi… my sweet, sweet Kiwi…", he mumbled softly as he ran his right hand through her black and messy hair.  
Oh god, his voice.  
That low and raw voice.  
It made her cry even harder and for a moment, he seemed to be a bit unsure about what to do.  
She couldn't really blame him, for all she was giving him were contradictory signals.  
But she just wasn't in control.

_There is always some madness in love...  
__But there is also always some reason in madness..._

She reached out her trembling hands and touched his face with only her fingertips as she studied it with her blue eyes wide open.  
It was as if she saw it for the first time.  
It was so breathtakingly beautiful.  
She couldn't get enough of it.  
"Say… say you love me…", she sobbed as her fingertips slid through the soft fur on the left side of his face.  
The unharmed side of his face.  
His _true _mask...  
When he heard these words, his ruby-red eyes filled with tears as well and he laid one hand on her cheek with a tenderness she never knew he had him.  
"You know I do…", he whispered with a husky voice.

_Love me…  
__That's all I ask of you..._

It was all she needed to hear for now and she grabbed his ear to pull him closer before she kissed him again.  
That was clearly all he needed as well because his breathing accelerated the moment their lips made contact again.  
His kissing became more compelling.  
His hands more targeted.  
He too had reached the point of no return.  
There was only one thing to do now.  
Let the flames consume them.

_The bridge is crossed, so stand and watch it burn…  
__We've passed the point of no return..._

As the skilled mouse as he was, he managed to get them both out of their clothes without breaking off the kiss, and soon, he gently made his way inside.  
It was as if a bomb went off in her body the moment she felt him inside of her and a soft moan escaped her lips as she wrapped her arms around his neck.  
She needed to hold him.  
To feel him.  
To smell him.  
To reassure herself over and over again that he was really here.  
He moved almost painfully slow, resting his weight on his elbows, his hands holding her head with fingers woven in her hair.

"Kiwi...", he breathed against her lips as he picked up the pace a little bit and a soft red light now joined the already warm white light of the stars.  
Before she could process what it was, her whole body suddenly convulsed under him when his pain became hers again.  
When his love became hers again.  
When his desire became hers again.  
When his _everything_ became hers again.  
A connection made by love, once brutally broken, now restored.  
She was whole again.

_You alone can make my song take flight..._

* * *

So, the prodigal son returns... for reasons that will be revealed further on in the story.  
I truly wonder; did you guys see it coming?

Either way, he's back now.  
So how will things continue after this, let's just say, _heated_ reunion?  
Will Kiwi be able to forgive him?  
And what about his bro's?  
How will they react when they find out about his return?  
And what will Zevvi be to Vinnie?  
There's still so much to find out, gosh.  
If you want answers to these questions, I suggest you stay tuned ;)

So, I hope you guys liked this chapter.  
I really put my heart and soul in this one, that's for sure.  
Feel free to leave a review, always very much appreciated and they sure as hell keep me motivated.  
The next update will take a bit longer though, just so you know.

Till next time, my friends!  
BYE!


	24. Chapter 24

Hey there!

Thank you so much for the reviews!  
Really appreciate your support :D  
Always makes my day.

So, as for this chapter...  
I was in the mood for drama.  
And when I'm in the mood for drama, shit is about the get real, hehe.  
Kind of my trademark, I guess.

And again, it's a long chapter.  
Seriously, I have no idea how, but the words just keep coming.

Anyway, I hope you guys like it.  
Enjoy! ^^

* * *

**Chapter 24**

_No dreams within her heart, but dreams of love..._

After, Kiwi was lying with her head on Vinnie's chest, listening to how his fluttering heart slowly calmed down again.  
He had his left arm tightly wrapped around her and for the first time in a long while, she felt safe.  
But still... it was so_ very_ hard to believe that he was really here.  
In her bed.  
Holding her.  
It felt surreal.  
It was as if he had never left, for everything felt so familiar.  
So safe.

His soft fur, tickling her skin.  
His scent, almost embracing her like a warm and safe blanket.  
How calm she was now the connection was restored, because she knew it was.  
True love didn't care about right or wrong.  
It was just there.  
Dormant.  
Waiting for its chance.  
Its chance to bring together two broken and wandering souls and melt them into one.  
So the soul was no longer broken.  
No longer searching for safety and security.  
And so it happened.  
The question was; was she ready for it?  
She had no idea.

The silence was somehow peaceful.  
Not awkward or deafening.  
Just… peaceful.  
And yet, she broke it.  
She had to.  
She had to know.  
"What made you change your mind? To come back?", she asked softly, her fingers fiddling with the fluffy white fur on his flat and muscular belly.

She felt his body tense against hers, probably because talking was the last thing he wanted to do right now.  
But where she usually would've stopped to spare him, to take account of his feelings, she now didn't, simply because she didn't care.  
She didn't care if it would make him feel uncomfortable or whatever.  
He owed her an explanation.  
More than that.  
Answering this question would be a good way to start.

"Denver did", he eventually answered plain and simple, but the thing was, nothing was plain and simple at the moment.  
Quite the opposite, actually.  
In fact, she had never been this conflicted as she was now.  
Things had _never_ been this complicated.  
He seemed to realize that as well, that he at least owed her a bit more than just plain and simple, because he heaved a sigh as his finger slid over the bare skin on her left arm.  
It gave her goosebumps all over her body, a thing she hated and loved at the same time.  
But she said nothing.  
She just waited, knowing that the silence would make him talk.  
As it always did.

"He made me realize what's important."  
His voice was hoarse, clearly, his emotions were running high and Kiwi got upright to look at him, leaning on her right elbow as she rested her head in her hand.  
"And what is it that is so important according to him?", she asked not unfriendly.  
He looked back at her, his beautiful eyes filled with all the sadness of the world.  
"Love."

Perhaps plain and simple was sufficient enough after all.  
For some reason, his answer hit her straight in the heart.  
God, it felt as if she was torn apart.  
She had no idea what to say.  
She had no idea what he expected of her, she hardly knew for herself.  
But she did know one thing, even though it pained her more than she liked to admit.  
They couldn't just pick things up from where they left off.

As much as she would like to erase the past year, to just pretend it didn't happen, she couldn't.  
Because it _did _happen.  
He had betrayed her trust and her love for him.  
And not just a little, no...  
Her heart was shattered into a million pieces like a porcelain doll thrown off its shelf by none other than the person who now lay next to her.  
She couldn't just get passed that.  
If she did, she would betray herself.  
And that was unforgivable.

As she was caught up in her thoughts, Vinnie's restlessness grew and eventually, the silence got the best of him.  
As usual.  
So he decided to create a diversion.  
_As usual.  
_"So, sweetheart… What made you jump on me the way you did, huh? Was it my jaw-dropping handsomeness? My breathtaking masculinity? Or my amazingly hot and buff body?", he asked teasingly, glancing at her out of the corner of his eye as he wiggled his eyebrows with his lips curled up into that crooked, way too sexy and arrogant smile of his.

Despite everything, a smile appeared on her face as well, she just couldn't stop it and she pinched his nose.  
"My my, that ego of yours. I guess some things will never change…"  
But her smile already slowly faded before the last word had left her mouth, so did his.  
The silence returned and Kiwi closed her eyes for a moment, still racking her brain about what to say.

His fingers touching her cheek made her open them again and the look on his face took her off guard, for it was a look she had never seen before.  
And while she was watching him, she realized something.  
Something that had always been there ever since that horrible day, something she had known all along but had stubbornly kept on a distance, somehow in denial.  
Until now.  
Now, she couldn't deny it any longer, no matter how painful and brutal it was.  
Her macho mouse wasn't just broken.  
No, it was even worse.  
His light was extinguished.  
Gone.  
Burned out.

"Will you ever be able to forgive me?", he whispered with breaking voice as he studied her face with a frown and she swallowed with difficulty, tears already burning behind her eyes again by seeing him like this.  
And she almost gave in.  
But luckily, _almost _wasn't the same as _entirely _and miraculously, she managed to stay strong.  
She had to, even though it cost her her heart.  
But this time, the mind was in control.  
This time, it was the mind's voice that was louder and she finally knew what to say.  
All she had to do was being honest.  
"I don't know. I need time…"

He let out his breath and slowly nodded as his thumb slid over her lips, somehow mesmerized by what he was seeing.  
"I understand", he mumbled and the tone of his voice made her -_again_\- almost burst into tears, but she swallowed them away just in time.  
It didn't stop her from attempting to ease his pain though.  
As if she was programmed to do so whenever things got tough.  
"Vinnie…", she started, but he shook his head to stop her.  
"Ssshhh... It's okay, babe. I really _do_ understand. I _never _should've left you like that. There's no excuse…", he trailed off again as he wove his hand in her black hair to get it out of her face.

When his hand reached the back of her head, he leaned closer and rested his forehead against hers.  
After keeping his gaze lowered for a little while, he finally looked up again, straight into her watery eyes.  
"Take all the time you need. I can wait… And I will."  
It was tempting to make a joke out of this, for they both knew that he had the patience of a fish stick, but there was simply too much pain.  
Gently, he pulled her a bit closer and kissed her, loving and affectionate.  
It somehow felt like a goodbye, she wasn't sure why, but it just did and it took her breath away.  
As if an invisible strap wrapped around her chest all of a sudden.

She didn't lie when she told him that she needed time, because she did.  
She wasn't sure if she was ever going to forgive him for everything he had put her through and yet, the thought of spending another night alone in this cold and lonely bed caused a giant wave of panic.  
Without thinking, she clung onto him almost desperately, her breathing already increasing again.

Vinnie gently broke off the kiss when he sensed her distress and he took her chin between his fingers.  
"Hey, hey, easy now… I'm here…"  
Only hearing his soft and soothing voice, that voice she had missed so much, was the final push and she broke down crying again as she still held him tightly, her nose now buried in the white fur in his neck."Please, stay with me tonight", she sobbed, feeling weak for even suggesting this, but the panic was just too much.  
"Don't leave me again… all alone…"

Vinnie wrapped his arms around her and gently forced her to lay down again before he pulled the blanket over both of them.  
His tail wrapped around her right ankle and he let out his breath, holding her tightly.  
"I won't. I'm here… I'll always be here..."  
Feeling his warm and strong arms around her while she listened to the sound of his heartbeat with his scent all around her calmed down her trembling body.

The panic slowly faded and she suddenly felt how tired she was.  
Completely drained, both physically and mentally.  
Her eyes grew heavy as lead as she crawled even closer to him.  
There was still so much to talk about.  
So much to do.  
So much to think about.  
But for now, she felt safe.  
For now, she was finally home again.  
And with her lips curled into a small smile, she fell into a deep and nightmare-free sleep.

_**…**_

_The next morning…  
_With the warm sun shining on his face, Throttle slowly opened his eyes and a soft moan escaped his lips when he realized that it was already morning again.  
They used to say that time flies when you're having fun, but apparently, it also did when you're having everything but a good time.  
With a growl, he turned around and pulled the blanket over his head, some childish attempt to escape reality.  
But he wasn't ready to face the world just yet.  
Not after another night filled with nightmares and terrors that only came when the world was turned dark and silent.

It had been different this time, though.  
This time, it wasn't Stoker but Vinnie who had stopped him from having a peaceful night by showing up in his dreams, bringing the restlessness that defined him with him.  
It was a miracle, to say the least, that he eventually had managed to get some sleep at all, even if it were only a few hours.  
But it wasn't enough.  
It never was.  
That fact somehow frightened him.  
That he would be tired for the rest of his life.  
Not able to catch up on the sleep he had missed, due to the war.

It wasn't really a pleasant prospect and this time with a heavy sigh, he turned on his other side.  
But because of his annoyance, he moved a bit too wild and therefore, he accidentally hit Carbine -who had been peacefully asleep next to him until now- full in the face and her eyes flew open as her fists already clenched, ready to attack whoever it was that woke her this brutally.  
Right before she could lash out to him in a reflex, Throttle grabbed her by the wrist.  
Lucky for him, his other senses were highly developed to compensate for his awfully bad vision without his glasses, which made him able to save his poor nose from getting punched by one of the biggest rights he had ever seen.

Carbine blinked a few times before her piercing brown eyes landed on him.  
"Is this your idea of seducing a woman?", she asked dryly, her voice still thick of sleep.  
"Does it work?", he asked sweetly in return as he let go of her hand, but not before pressing a soft kiss on her knuckles.  
"If you somehow believe that there's even the slightest chance for my answer to be yes, then you officially have spent too much time with Vinnie", she retorted without thinking and Throttle's ears drooped when he heard his young bro's name.  
"I'll keep that in mind", he sighed as he rolled on his back, reaching for his glasses.

Carbine glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, at how he put on his glasses.  
Even from this point of view, she could see the exhausted look on his face and she laid a hand on his arm.  
"Stoker again?", she asked softly, rubbing his fur in an attempt to comfort him without being too pushy.  
It was important to her that he still felt the freedom to choose what to say.  
She didn't want to force him to talk about his troubles.  
Well, not every moment of the day, that is.

"No. This time, it was Vinnie who decided to haunt my sorry ass", he answered her question darkly, his husky voice now low and raw.  
Now it was Carbine who tensed by hearing that name, but that didn't make sense.  
At all.  
With a frown, Throttle turned his head to look at her, only to see her staring at the ceiling, obviously wide awake now.  
"You okay, babe?"

After a short silence, the light-grey-furred female took a deep breath through the nose and rolled on her side.  
"I think you should go to the garage", she said as she leaned on her right elbow, her head resting in her hand.  
Throttle narrowed his eyes behind his glasses in confusion, for this made even less sense, as far as that goes.  
"The garage? Why?"  
"You'll see. Assuming that it's there, that is. But only one way to find out."

He too now rolled on his side, resting his weight on his left elbow while studying her face.  
But it gave nothing away.  
"You're making no sense whatsoever. Can you at least tell me what it is you want me to find there?", he did another attempt to get her to talk, but of course, she didn't budge.  
She never really did, so it wasn't exactly a surprise.  
"You know it when you see it. Trust me."

Knowing there was nothing he could say or do to get her to talk, the tan-furred mouse heaved a sigh as he threw the blanket off of him.  
"Okay, have it your way. This better be worth it", he muttered as he slid out of bed, his head pounding, due to lack of sleep and too many things to worry about.  
"If I'm right, it will be. That I can promise you", she smiled at him and he stopped for a moment to look at her.  
With the sun shining on her black hair that whirled down her shoulders, making it shine like diamonds in the water, she was more beautiful than ever and for a moment, he contemplated his next move.  
Despite that her vague behavior had stimulated his curiosity, he still rather crawled back in bed to take her in his arms than to go to the garage for whatever it was that was waiting for him there.  
It could wait a little while longer, right?  
After all, what on Mars could be more important than her?

But when she saw his hesitation, she rolled on her back before pulling the blanket up to her chin with the look of a saint on her face.  
_Typical.  
_"Ah, ah. Down, boy. You'll get your chance. But for now, just go."  
"But babe…"  
"Go!"  
"Okay, okay, geez… I'm already going, no need to tie your tail in a knot", the tan-furred leader muttered under his breath as he put on some clothes, perfectly aware that he sounded a bit too childish for his age.

But Carbine only gave him a innocent smile and he shook his head before pressing a kiss on her forehead.  
"You're a real piece of work, Carbine", he chuckled as he walked to the door, still shaking his head.  
"That's why you love me so much!", she called after him and with a smile on his face, Throttle left the room, although still with reluctance, despite his amusement.  
_Man_.  
What could possibly be better than spending a morning in bed with the love of his life?  
He had no idea.  
Either way, it better be good.  
It _better _be.

_**…**_

Meanwhile, Modo carefully tiptoed out of the room he shared with his small but loving family, trying to be as silent as possible, which was quite the challenge given his size.  
When he reached the door, he stopped for a moment, but all his big ears caught were the sounds of two steady and calm respirations, telling him that both his wife and son were still fast asleep, just how he wanted it to be.  
With a soft click, the door closed behind him and a big yawn escaped his mouth as he set course towards the garage.

Mika had been up the whole night, crying and screaming, somehow refusing to go to sleep.  
It had almost driven him and Amira to despair, for this wasn't like him, at all.  
He usually slept around ten hours without waking up to process everything he had seen and learned the day before, but not tonight.  
In fact, he had never been this upset before and it worried Modo more than he had shown to Amira.  
But finally, after hours of shushing, walking, rocking and whatever more they had done as an attempt to calm him down, he'd fallen asleep right before the sun came up.

Both relieved and exhausted, Amira had soon followed her son's example, but not Modo.  
For some reason, he just couldn't get to sleep, even though his son's tantrum had completely drained him.  
And so, after two hours of twisting and turning, he'd given up and now he was on his way to the garage to tinker with his bike in the hope it would calm this unknown but awful restlessness that gnawed on his insides.  
A restlessness from which he had no idea where it came from, but it was there and it needed to be eased, rather sooner than later.

Suppressing another yawn too big for his mouth, he went around the corner and almost bumped into no one other than Throttle.  
"Whoa, big fella, where's the fire?", the tan-furred mouse breathed with his husky voice as he did a few steps backward to avoid a nasty crash with his older bro that was like a castle so big.  
"Whoops, sorry, bro. Didn't see you there", Modo apologized with a small smile.  
A smile that vanished like smoke in the wind when he saw the tired and somehow grim look on his best friend's face.  
That look, that was already so familiar, for it seemed to be chiseled on his face ever since that day at the Plutarkian HQ.  
The scar didn't exactly help either.

_Poor guy.  
_He was clearly suffering, something he didn't deserve.  
Well, no one did, but he most certainly did not.  
Not after everything he had done for this planet and its people.  
And now the peace, the same peace for which he had fought with everything he had in him, didn't give him the rest he so desperately needed and it broke Modo's heart.  
_How did come to all this?  
_He deserved so much more than this.  
And yet, here he was, troubled and struggling.

Shaking off these true but unpleasant thoughts, the grey-furred giant cleared his throat.  
"So, where are you off to?", he asked, trying to keep his voice as lightly as possible.  
"The garage. Apparently, there's something there that I need to see", his tan-furred friend told him flatly and Modo gave him a confused look, scratching his neck.  
"Says who?"  
"Carbine."  
"I'm not following you…"  
"Neither am I. I'm standing in the dark just as much as you do, big guy, but hey, can't let the lady down, so here I am. What about you?"

"Not half as exciting as your reason, bro. Just on my way to work on my bike", Modo shrugged, his mind still occupied with figuring out what it possibly could be that Carbine wanted Throttle to see, but his tan-furred bro broke him out of it before he could think of anything.  
"This early in the morning, huh?", the latter mused with a tilted head, studying Modo's face with a look so intense only he could pull off with glasses on.  
"So tell me, big guy. What's bothering you?"  
His bro just knew him too well.  
"Mike kept us awake the whole night. Crying, yelling… That just ain't like him, ya know. Usually, he's such a happy little fella... "  
"Hm. You have any idea why? I mean, did something happen or…?", Throttle asked him as they walked through the silent hallways to the garage.

"Nah. He was just… restless…", Modo answered absent-mindedly, staring at the ground while he walked next to Throttle.  
"So am I…", he then added with a thoughtful frown on his face, but he already shook his head right after the words had left his mouth.  
"Never mind. I'm too tired to think straight…", but Throttle laid a hand on his arm, glancing at his older bro.  
"Well, as weird as it may sound, so am I. That can't be a coincidence, right?"  
Modo shrugged.  
"Maybe it is…"

For a moment, they walked in silence, but right before they reached the garage, Throttle opened his mouth again.  
"I don't think it is, bro."  
"Okay… but what would it be, then?"  
"Beats me, to be honest", the tan-furred mouse answered honestly as he opened the door that led to the garage.  
"Maybe the stars are out of place… Or was it full moon last night?"  
Modo shrugged as he followed his older bro inside.  
"I dunno, man, I ain't really into astronomy… It's probably nothing… Still, it's kinda weird that we all couldn't sleep, it makes ya think there's a reason but I really have no idea… Maybe it was something in the food? Or the drinks?", he thought out loud while walking to his bike, not seeing that Throttle had suddenly stopped dead in his tracks.

"Nah, that's stupid… Or… _wait_! How about…", but the tan-furred mouse cut him off, his usually steady voice now trembling.  
"I think I've just found the reason, bro…"  
Modo narrowed his eye and looked over his shoulder with a frown, but when he saw where Throttle was looking at, a shock went through his body and his mouth dropped.  
After staring at it for a while, he blinked a few times, he even rubbed his eye, but the image didn't change.  
The image of a bike from which he thought he would never see again.  
But there it was.  
Just like that.  
Standing in the garage, at the usual place, as if had never left.  
"What the…"

Throttle couldn't have said it better for himself and for a moment, they just stood there, staring at the bike as if they saw it for the first time.  
Well, somehow, they did.  
Eventually, it was Modo who broke the silence.  
"That's Vinnie's bike", he concluded toneless, which was both stupid and unnecessary because they both didn't need him to say it out loud as confirmation.  
This was a bike that had been part of their lives for years, after all.  
They both didn't need to look twice to know who this bike belonged to.  
_A wandering soul…  
__...restless..._

Throttle's heart almost exploded out of his chest, the rapid heartbeat making his headache even worse.  
Or maybe it was because of the sight of the bike, he had no idea.  
His eyes wandered over the cherry-red paint, the dirt on the worn-down tires, the dust on the windshield…  
It was obvious that the bike had a long journey to come here, which could only mean one thing and his heartbeat increased even further.  
_Could it be?  
_If so, then how did Carbine know this?  
And why didn't she tell him?

Modo slowly came closer to take another good look at the bike, as if he was worried that his own eye was deceiving him.  
As if the bike wasn't really standing there.  
But it was and it raised about a thousand questions, questions that were in a desperate need of answers, but there was only one person that could give them.  
One person that wasn't here with them in the room.  
A bad feeling suddenly crept over the tan-furred mouse.  
_Where was he anyway?  
_What if he wasn't here?  
What if it was only his bike that had come back?  
By the Gods, what if he was… _dead_?  
But if he was, Carbine would've told him that, right?  
_Right?!_

As Throttle was completely caught up in his thoughts, so was Modo.  
The grey-furred giant reached out his hand and his finger slid over the cold and dusty paint as he swallowed away his tears.  
Feeling the cold steel under his fingers made him feel closer to its rider than this entire year and it somehow gave him the sudden urge to cry.  
_Oh, momma…  
__If only you were here…  
_His finger now made its way over the leather saddle and his keen eye noticed the small white hairs that were stuck in the small grooves.  
Even his smell seemed to linger in the air and Modo closed his eye for a moment when about a million memories popped up by only smelling a hint of Vinnie's characteristic scent.

But then, something changed.  
Another scent joined the mix, one that was just as familiar as Vinnie's and it wasn't Throttle's.  
In fact, it wasn't even Martian, but human.  
A soft sound behind him made his eye fly open and he swirled around, the deadly laser already popping out of his -still lowered- bionic arm.  
Peace or not, he still had the reflexes of a soldier.  
But before he could raise it, his eye locked with a pair of ruby-red ones, a pair of eyes so unique that it could only be him.  
Eyes he hadn't seen in a long time, eyes that were so familiar and yet so estranged and his mouth dropped for the second time this day.

The zooming sound of the weapon coming out of Modo's arm was enough to alert Throttle, for it was a sound that usually only meant trouble and he too quickly turned around, to freeze again as soon as his bionic eyes landed on his white-furred bro.  
His white-furred bro, who stood there, looking older and more burdened than ever before, with that awful frown on his face and eyes burning with pain and guilt.  
He just stood there, with his hands in his pockets and his ears low.  
Even his antennas hung low, dangling like a broken blade of grass in the wind and his tail lay lifeless on the ground close to his feet, although the tip was dancing like a feather in the wind, giving away his unease.

And for a short moment, Throttle could only admire the young mouse for standing there.  
It couldn't be easy to face your family after leaving them behind without any form of explanation in a time that they had needed you the most.  
It was a cowardly act by a brave mouse, because brave he was, to just pop up out of nowhere.  
"Vinnie?! You… you're… When did you come back?", the tan-furred mouse eventually managed to bring out, stammering like a kid that still needed to learn how to talk properly, which was a rare thing but come on, this was shocking, to say the least.  
Highly unexpected.  
Well, actually, no word could describe how bizarre it was to see him standing there, for he had been convinced that he would never see his young bro ever again.

The white-furred mouse, one he had called brave only seconds ago, now shrugged his shoulders as he turned away his gaze, a faint blush visible under his white fur, in reality not so brave as he always claimed to be.  
"Last night...", he said softly, his voice a bit hoarse and devoid of its usual high tones, before he glanced at them from under his lashes, clearly feeling very uncomfortable.  
Modo's back stiffened by hearing this answer.  
It was almost invisible, but Throttle's keen eye didn't miss it and when his gaze landed on the grey-furred giant, a bad feeling washed over him.  
Because Modo's eye was glowing red.  
That alone was a bad sign on itself, but his tail was swinging back and forth as well.  
And to top it all off, his grey fur stood on end.  
_Oh boy.  
_Their older bro was mad and not just a little.

Unfortunately, the tan-furred leader of the Freedom Fighters noticed all this about one second too late because when he reached out to Modo, to lay a hand on his shoulder as an attempt to calm him down, the grey-furred tank was already out of reach.  
And with his hand now floating uselessly in the air, all he could do was watch helplessly how Modo reached Vinnie.  
How he grabbed him by the throat.  
How he growled something that sounded a lot like _'Last night, huh?'_ before he pushed the white-furred youngster up against the wall with a loud bang, his flesh hand still around Vinnie's neck.  
_Oh boy indeed._

"You've got her smell all over you. So what did you do this time to get back in, huh? Blinked those pretty little eyes of yours? Manipulated her with your smooth talk? Or did you just use the element of surprise and took advantage of her vulnerability when she saw you?"  
When Vinnie didn't respond, Modo gritted his teeth and shook him roughly.  
"_Answer me!_"  
"Whoa, Modo, settle, man", Throttle breathed in shock as he did a few steps forward, planning to stop his older bro before this could _really_ get out of hand.  
"I get why you're angry, heck, I am too, but I know that you're gonna regret it if you hurt him…"  
But Modo was too angry to listen to reason.  
He was looking at Vinnie with a narrowed eye, his teeth clenched and his whole body seemed to radiate pure fury.

Throttle slowly came to a halt again.  
To be honest, he had never seen Modo this upset and he somehow had the feeling that if he would interfere now, Vinnie would pay the price.  
Some might say that he had it coming, and perhaps he did.  
But not on Throttle's watch.  
Despite everything, he was still his bro.  
_Family_.  
And he protected his family at all costs.

The same applied to Modo.  
The guilt would be too much to bear, even though his older bro clearly didn't agree with that at this point.  
But Throttle knew him well enough to know that it would.  
That when the fire of rage slowly died, guilt would take its place to just stay there forever, absorbing happiness till there was nothing left.  
Kind of like what happened to Vinnie and look what that got him.  
So, even though it went against everything he stood for, he remained where he was, his entire body on high alert.  
All ready to jump in when the time was there and then alone.  
For now, how crazy as it might seem, this was the safest move to play.

Vinnie swallowed with difficulty and he raised his hand, probably to try to pull Modo's hand away from his throat, but he seemed to change his mind halfway because his arm fell limp next to his body again.  
"It… it wasn't like that…", he eventually managed to squeeze out, but then he looked up at his older bro with somewhat pleading eyes, his hand already reaching for Modo's hand again.  
"Modo, I… I can't breathe, man…"  
But Modo didn't let go, no, he just leaned closer to him, so close, that their noses almost touched.  
"You just keep doing this, over and over again. Pushing and pulling, _every_ _single_ _time_. You make people love you. Trust you. Even _adore_ you. And then, something happens and _wham_! You shut them out. You push them away with brute force, not caring about what that does to them, to just watch helplessly how you suffer in silence. But then, right before they're ready to let you go because you leave them no other choice, you just pull them back in and it goes on and on and on… But no more. Maybe Kiwi is in too deep, but not me. And I'm not gonna just stand by and watch you destroy her because I _know_ you will. Maybe you already did. But how would you know, huh? You weren't here to see her struggle, after all. To watch her drown. You never are. Because that's what you do. When people need you the most, when the going gets tough… _you_ just run the other way…"

Modo fell silent again, breathing heavily after his outburst and Throttle caught himself wondering if his big bro was still talking about Kiwi or that his own pain had taken over halfway through his rant.  
He suspected the latter and who could blame him?  
Vinnie had hurt a lot of people by leaving the base, including him and Modo.  
But mostly Kiwi.  
Modo was right, this whole thing was destroying her, if it hadn't already.  
Maybe she was, indeed, better off without him, but something told him that she wasn't.  
Besides, was it really their choice to make?  
He wasn't sure.

But someone should tell Modo that.  
Modo, who had his heart in the right place.  
Who had vowed to protect the vulnerable in times when they couldn't stand up for themselves.  
Who was now, as being caught in his emotions, almost strangling their young bro to death, thereby leaving the latter no other choice but to fight back.  
And again, Throttle didn't see it coming.  
Well, maybe he did, but his brain connected the dots -_again_\- a second too late.  
Man, he was _really _dropping the ball here.  
Some might say that a second could never make a difference, but the thing was; it did.  
Especially in situations such as this one, where escalation was just lying around the corner, waiting for its change to create chaos, mayhem and madness.

And a second was all Vinnie needed to free himself from his plight.  
He was a well-trained Freedom Fighter, after all.  
And unlike Modo, he still had been operational as one until now.  
Therefore, the grey-furred giant didn't react fast enough when Vinnie grabbed his arm -the flesh one- in a tight grip to use it to support his weight.  
And he definitely wasn't fast enough to stop the young mouse from pulling his legs up and as the white-furred youngster gritted his teeth, he gave Modo a well-placed kick in the stomach.  
Even though it wasn't exactly a lethal attack, it was still enough to make the big mouse stumble backward, having no other choice but to let go of Vinnie's throat while he was at it.

The latter now leaned against the wall, gasping for precious air as he rubbed his sore throat, bruises already visible under his white fur.  
His ruby-red eyes were fixated on Modo, but they weren't fuming as Throttle expected them to be, telling him that he wasn't really angry.  
He just did what he had to do survive, or well, his instinct did.  
Because if they would use their heads instead of allowing themselves to let their emotions take over, they all knew that Modo would never kill someone in cold blood, let alone his own brother and friend.

Or, at least, that's what Throttle liked to believe.  
What he _choose _to believe.  
But a small voice in his head whispered that even the _'gooder-than-good guys'_ such as Modo had a dark side.  
One just needed to be pushed long enough to let it out.  
To unleash it.  
Perhaps Modo had been pushed long enough.  
And now, he showed them his dark side for the first time.  
Or maybe not.  
It was very hard to tell what was going on inside his head.  
But one thing was for sure.  
He was upset alright.  
Beyond that.

The way he stood there, his entire body trembling in anger, his fists clenched with so much strength that Throttle was somehow surprised that his hands didn't fall off, or something like that.  
But it was the look on his face that worried the tan-furred mouse the most.  
If hatred had a face, this would be it.  
_Man.  
_This wasn't quite the reunion he had hoped for when he saw Vinnie's bike.  
Not even close.

"Like I said… It wasn't… like that…", Vinnie panted as soon as he got enough air in his lungs to talk again, his voice raspy as he rested his head against the wall.  
"She…"  
But Modo already violently shook his head, and it seemed as if his eye was glowing even brighter than usual, which was technically not possible.  
Then again, it was a Plutarkian invention, so who knew?  
"Save yourself the trouble, Vincent. I'm sick and tired of hearing your excuses."  
"But…"  
"I said; I _don't_ wanna hear it!"

Throttle glanced at his grey-furred friend, who was clearly about to explode out of his fur and he decided that now was a good time to step up, for he didn't want to wait and find out what would happen if Modo would, indeed, explode.  
"Bro's, bro's… _breathe_. I'm sure we can talk about this without casualties…", he said softly as he did a step forward with his hands raised in the air, almost desperate to stop this situation from escalating.  
Well, to stop it from _further_ escalating.  
"Maybe we can if he for_ once _just takes responsibility for his actions", Modo grumbled as he clenched and unclenched his fists, his gaze fixated on Vinnie, who was still catching his breath.

He did have a point, but did he not know that this wouldn't help them to get their young bro to talk?  
Backing him a corner usually had the opposite effect.  
"Maybe he will if we give him the chance, bro", Throttle therefore contradicted calmly, but from the inside, he was everything but calm.  
He had that sickening feeling again, one that was rare, but that didn't make it less unpleasant.  
A feeling that came with having no control whatsoever.  
A feeling that told him that this was only the beginning  
That things were about to spin out of control faster than a speeding bullet and there was nothing he could do to stop it.  
But the least he could was try.  
He had to.  
He owed them that much.

Unfortunately, Modo wasn't ready to give Vinnie a chance.  
Quite the opposite, actually.  
His rage only seemed to get worse, as far as that goes.  
He probably didn't realize that he was doing the same thing Vinnie always did.  
The same thing they both hated to the core and yet, here he was.  
Using anger to prevent himself from feeling his pain.  
And pain there was.  
Of course, Throttle already knew that Modo was hurt by Vinnie's sudden departure, they all were, but what he didn't know was that the pain ran this deep.

But he knew now.  
It just became painfully obvious that Modo was deeply hurt and it seemed as if the grey-furred giant realized this just now as well.  
Perhaps he did.  
Perhaps Vinnie popping up out of nowhere was just enough to trigger it.  
To rip open the wounds that weren't healed in the first place.  
Or maybe it wasn't just that.  
Maybe it was, indeed, Kiwi's scent that had made him snap.  
After all, watching helplessly how Kiwi was slowly fading away, how the pain seemed to absorb her had been everything but easy.  
Being completely powerless even less.  
_It hadn't really been a good year…_

Maybe he finally had the feeling that he could do something.  
That the time of being powerless was over.  
That he finally could make someone pay for Kiwi's pain.  
_Oh, Modo...  
_Did he not know that revenge never gave the peace one so desperately searched for?  
Forgiveness did.  
But to choose forgiveness over revenge was one of the most difficult choices one would ever face in life.  
And it was general knowledge that the majority of people always choose the easy way first.  
As it turned out, Modo wasn't any different.  
And so here they were.

Either way, the grey-furred giant now pointed his glowing eye at Throttle, who almost flinched under the intense look, but he stopped himself just in time.  
"Come on, Throttle, open your eyes. I know you're always willing to give second chances, but when are you gonna realize that he's never gonna change…?"  
"He came back, now did he? Isn't that enough to show you that he cares?"  
"Now you're just being naive. We all know that it won't take long before he runs off again."  
"You guys are doing it again. Talking about me as if I ain't here…", Vinnie sighed tiredly, still with his head leaning against the wall, avoiding their gaze by staring at the ceiling.  
"Maybe that's because you're almost never here!", Modo snapped at him, his tail lashing through the air.  
"_Touche…_", the white-furred mouse responded flatly.

Throttle looked at them from one to another and then heaved a sigh as sadness washed over him.  
Sadness by seeing that even though Vinnie had come back, nothing really changed.  
Things would _never_ go back the way they were.  
Something had cracked the bond that was supposed to be unbreakable.  
_Their_ bond.  
_Man.  
_Was their life ever going to be easier?  
Was it ever going to stop?  
_Would they ever stop suffering…?_

"Guys…", he started again, but the anger still got the best of Modo.  
It was probably safe to say that he was entirely overwhelmed by it and therefore, he wasn't thinking straight.  
And that was an understatement.  
But it was the only explanation Throttle could come up with to explain why the thing happened that was about to happen.  
A thing that was too crazy to be real, but it still happened.

"So why did you come back anyway? Why now? Kiwi was finally doing a bit better, she was finding a way to live her life without you, but once again, here you are, throwing a spanner in the works."  
As he was talking, Modo already did a few steps into Vinnie's direction again and Throttle quickly lined himself up between them before he laid a hand on Modo's chest.  
"Modo, you need to snap out of it. I think you've made your point."  
But unfortunately, Modo's harsh words triggered something in Vinnie, something that shouldn't be triggered right now, but it happened anyway.  
Because this was about Kiwi.  
And when it was about Kiwi, all bets were off.  
In a way, it was good to see that hadn't changed.  
But the timing left something to be desired.

"So what are ya trying to say here, big fella? That she's better off without me? You think I don't know that? Why do you think I left in the first place?", the white-furred mouse asked slowly as he pushed himself off the wall, his left ear twitching, the first sign that he too was about to lose his patience.  
It was almost a miracle how long he had been able to stay calm.  
That could only mean one thing.  
He felt guilty, and not just a little.  
Which was good.  
It meant that he was fully aware of his mistakes.  
But Modo currently didn't have the presence of mind to notice the same thing, which was truly a shame.  
If he would've, some things could've been avoided.  
But the universe clearly wanted something else to happen.

"If you know it so well, you wouldn't be standing here…", Modo told their young bro as he did another step forward, as if Throttle wasn't standing in front of him and he thereby forced the tan-furred mouse to take a step into Vinnie's direction as well.  
"Stop talking about her as if you know what is going on between us…", Vinnie warned the grey-furred mouse, also taking a few steps closer.  
"Because you don't."  
"Guys, come on…", Throttle tried again, but _again, _they completely ignored him.  
"Maybe I don't, but what I _do_ know is that you've hurt her too many times. And all these times I said nothing, I just let it _aaall _happen because she asked me to. She asked me to understand that you're damaged, that you can't help yourself, that the war has made you who you are and I dunno, maybe she's right. But seriously, Vinnie, how many _'get-out-of-jail-free cards' _are you gonna force up to her? Can't you see that you're destroying her? If you love her, _truly_ love her, you let her go."

Throttle closed his eyes for a moment, knowing that Modo had just said the one thing that could tick Vinnie off.  
And, of course, it did.  
"_Don't_ doubt my love for her, man! Don't you _ever _doubt my love for her. I would _die _for her", Vinnie snapped at his older bro as he took the last few steps and Throttle now laid his other hand on his chest, but the white-furred mouse hardly seemed to notice it.  
_Typical_.  
It was almost admiring how good they both were at ignoring his entire existence at the moment.  
He opened his mouth to warn them yet again, but Vinnie wasn't done yet.  
"I get that you're angry, I really do. And _surprise_, I even think that you have every right to be because there's simply no excuse for what I did. And you're right, by the way. I'm the guy that runs the other way when the going gets tough. Me...", and he pointed at himself with his thumb to strengthen his words.  
"...and me alone. So _don't _use her to get to me. Leave her out of this or I swear to God…"

Modo gritted his teeth as he tilted his head with a warning look on his face.  
A look that practically screamed '_don't even think about threatening me.'  
_"Or what?"  
But, of course, Vinnie ignored the signs and did the exact one thing that would soon be designated to be the final push.  
And that was threatening the wrong mouse at the wrong time.  
"Or I'll make you. And not very politely..."

And there it was.  
The so-called _'explosion'_ Throttle feared ever since Modo had practically ignited in anger.  
And, as it turned out, he was right.  
Even the good guys had a dark side.  
A breaking point.  
Even Modo.  
Before the tan-furred mouse could even blink his eyes, something wrapped around his waist and pulled him away with brute force.  
With a loud bang, the tan-furred mouse crashed against one of the counters in the garage, his glasses flying off in the process.

His head hit the stone plank above the counter and for a moment, all he could see was stars.  
But he forced himself to keep moving and he dropped to his knees, his hands touching the cold floor with spread fingers, desperately searching for his glasses.  
The sounds he heard around him told him that his two bro's were caught up in a serious fight, a fight that sounded a lot like a battle of life and death and he needed to get his vision back rather sooner than later.  
Somebody had to stop this madness.  
But preferably somebody who wasn't as blind as a cave rat.  
At times like these, he cursed the Plutarkians for taking away his vision.  
He wasn't one that was resentful, but right now, there was nothing he wanted more than to make them pay.

But then, _finally_, his fingers enclosed the cold and familiar steel and he quickly put the glasses back on his nose, just in time to see Vinnie land on his back with Modo on top of him.  
"Guys, knock it off, now!", he ordered with a voice as sharp as a knife, but a loud click was the only response, a sound way too familiar and something he most definitely didn't want to hear right now.  
He slowly let go of the floor and shifted his weight to his knees as he stared at the scene in front of him.  
To his great horror, Modo was pointing the deadly laser in his bionic arm at Vinnie's head.  
And to make things even worse, he saw something change in Vinnie's eyes and his heart skipped a few beats when he realized what was happening here.

As Vinnie was lying there, breathing heavily and being held at gunpoint by one that was once his best friend, the anger in his now fuming eyes got accompanied by pure agony.  
And if that wasn't bad enough already, there was even a hint of rebellion visible.  
_Oh no.  
__Don't you dare...  
_But, of course, he did.  
The white-furred mouse wrinkled his nose and without breaking eye contact, he spit out some blood before he opened that poisoning mouth of his again.  
"Go ahead. Do it. I dare ya."

_Jesus_.  
How did it come to this?  
How was it possible that things had come to this point?  
The point that Modo was about to blow Vinnie's head off?  
That Vinnie, instead of keeping his mouth shut just for this one time, even _challenged_ him to do it?  
_By the Gods...  
_How, for _fuck_ sake _how_ did it come to this, _goddammit_?!  
Where did it go wrong?  
Where did he fail his bro's?  
Because he had failed them.  
That he knew.  
If he hadn't, things wouldn't be as bad as they were now.  
_Shit, _he couldn't lose him.  
Not now he just got him back.  
He _finally_ had someone back.  
_Goddammit, Stoker.  
__If only you were here..._

As despair rushed through his veins, turning him into a nervous wreck within seconds, Throttle reached out one hand to his bro's, the other one already leaning on the floor again.  
"Modo, don't do it, man, you're not thinking straight…"  
Somehow, it was still hard to believe that the grey-furred giant would kill his own bro in cold blood, but the fact that he was aiming his gun at Vinnie was already shocking on itself, so who knew what could happen?

But then it hit him like a meteor and he froze for a moment.  
It wasn't in cold blood.  
Of course, he would never do that.  
But what about killing someone in a fit of rage?  
Blinded by fire, with the flames of righteousness breathing down his neck, chasing him forward, giving him no time to think?  
_Oh, man..._

"Modo, put down the gun! _Now_!", the tan-furred mouse spat out, but despite his attempt to sound confident and clear, his voice was trembling and a few octaves higher than usual, all to blame to the panic he now felt.  
It had been a while since he had felt panic, but it was here now and it almost overwhelmed him.  
Paralyzed him  
It only got worse when he saw that Modo didn't seem to hear him.  
It confirmed that he had no control whatsoever, just like he thought.  
And he _hated _it.  
He needed to have control.  
He needed to stop this before it was too late.

But it was as if he wasn't here.  
As if his two bro's were in this bubble, keeping him out at all costs.  
Modo was staring at Vinnie with clenched teeth, his bionic arm shaking and Throttle couldn't decide if it was a good or a bad thing.  
Vinnie was just staring back, his ruby-red eyes now filled with tears and regret.  
"Come on. Do us all a favor. You said it yourself, man, the world is better off without me. So do it. Shoot me."

"God_dammit_ Vinnie, shut _up_!", Throttle snapped at him and he finally could move again.  
And so he did.  
Breathing heavily, he crawled closer to them on all fours.  
Slowly.  
Cautiously.  
_Desperately.  
_He thought he knew the true meaning of despair.  
But he now realized he didn't.  
Not before this.  
Well, he did now.  
And it was the worst feeling ever.

"Don't listen to him, Modo. You don't wanna do this. I know you're in pain, we all are, man. This life… It ain't right. We've been through too much. But this… this isn't gonna solve it. It'll only make things worse… We didn't survive all that to let it end here… _Not _like this… So _please…_ don't do this. Don't let the demons win..."  
Modo's arm started to tremble even worse and a tear now left his still glowing eye.  
The tiny drop slowly rolled down his cheek and eventually landed on Vinnie's face, where it shattered into a million pieces.  
Just like they were.  
_Broken_.

"What are you waiting for, huh?! Just do it!", Vinnie yelled at him with breaking voice, his whole face twisted in a grimace of pain and grief, and his hands grabbed Modo's bionic arm to pull it even closer to his head.  
"_Do it!"  
_"No, Modo…", Throttle whispered, hardly able to breathe when he saw how his grey-furred bro clenched his bionic hand into a fist, how he seemed to prepare his body for the recoil that came with firing a gun...

But then, it was as if something slapped Modo in the face, or well, that was what Throttle concluded after seeing his facial expression.  
Something that had to be his conscience, brutally awoken by the tone of true despair in Vinnie's voice.  
Well, whatever it was, it made him snap out of it.  
And he finally…. _finally_ lowered his gun, although with reluctance, Throttle could tell.  
But he didn't care about that.  
Because all that mattered was that he lowered his gun.  
_Thank the Mothers of Mars and everything else holy_, he did.  
_Jesus.  
_What a mad world they were living in.

After blinking a few times, Modo's eye turned back to its normal color and he looked down at Vinnie, who looked back somewhat disappointed.  
For a moment, nothing happened, but then, Modo shook his head with his mouth in a tight line, disgust written upon his face.  
"Look at you. Stoker would be ashamed of you. Too bad he ain't here to say it himself."  
And after one last dirty look at his young bro, he got back on his feet and marched out of the garage without looking back.

When the door closed behind him with a loud bang, Throttle let out his breath as relief washed over him and he let himself fall on his back, not able to carry his own weight.  
"You just _love _living on the edge, don't you?", he panted, closing his eyes when he felt the cold of the floor cooling down his heated body.  
_Holy shit, did that really just happen?  
_"What can I say? It's a gift", Vinnie replied flatly, but also a bit out of breath.

For a moment, the two brothers in arm just lay there on the cold floor of the garage, staring at the ceiling, taking a moment to recover from the first shock, to catch their breath.  
Eventually, it was Vinnie who broke the silence.  
"He's right though. She's better off without me."  
But Throttle shook his head.  
"It's not his decision to make."  
"I shouldn't have come back."  
"But you did."  
"Yeah. I did…"

Another silence.  
"Vin?"  
"Hm?"  
"I'm glad you did. It's so good to see you, man. I've missed you."  
Again, a silence followed, but it didn't take long before Vinnie opened his mouth again.  
"I've missed ya too. Not in some cheesy '_Let's hold hands and be together forever' _kind of way, of course", he hastily added when he realized what he was saying.  
"Of course", Throttle smiled, shaking his head, despite everything amused by this.  
Some things would probably never change.  
Which was a good thing, actually.  
Some things were just meant to be the way they were.

After just lying there for a while, Throttle decided to trust his legs again and he slowly climbed back on his feet.  
His legs were still a bit shaky, but he was at least able to walk over to Vinnie without falling face forward on the floor, which was quite the victory given the current circumstances.  
_Sometimes, you just gotta appreciate the little things in life.  
_When he reached his young bro, he offered him his hand without hesitation.

Although his heart was still racing in his chest, he forced himself to stay calm on the outside, simply because his friend needed him to.  
His friend and brother, who was so lost at the moment.  
Who needed his guidance more than ever and so he gave it to him.  
Because that's who he was.  
That's what he did.  
He was the guy that always stayed behind to pick up the pieces.  
"Come on, let's go for a drink. I can definitely use one after all this and we have a lot of catching up to do."

Vinnie looked up at him, almost hopeful and Throttle gave him a small nod, to tell him it was okay.  
Because it really was.  
Sure, there was still a lot to talk about, there were still so many questions that required an answer but for now, just having him back was enough.  
After all the losses, after all the pain and misery, it just felt so good to have someone back again.  
Kind of refreshing.  
Like a second chance.  
No way he was going to let that slip because of resentment.  
No, he simply had experienced too many losses for that.

After a short hesitation, Vinnie took his hand and when he was back on his feet, Throttle swung an arm around his neck to guide him with him towards the door, a teasing smile on his face in an attempt to lighten up the mood a bit.  
"So, you don't call, you don't write, you didn't even send me flowers… I mean, I'm a big guy, but that just hurts, man."  
"Ugh, dude, do I look like the kind of guy that goes out on a sunny day to pick some flowers? I've got a reputation to maintain, man", Vinnie muttered back, almost insulted that Throttle was even suggesting this, but when the tan-furred mouse glanced at him, he saw that he was smiling as well.  
It was a sad smile, maybe, but a smile nevertheless.  
_Holy shit, what a mess.  
_Well, will you look at that.  
He made a rhyme.

"Welcome back, bro", Throttle chuckled as he ruffled his hand through the short hair on top of Vinnie's head before he playfully pushed him away.  
And he meant it.  
With everything he had in him.  
His family was complete again.  
And that was all that mattered for now.

* * *

Hey, what did I say?  
Drama.  
Major.  
Hehe.

So, I know you all must have questions about why Vinnie has returned, what Zevvi's role will be in the future, what Carbine knows, etc.  
Rest assured, these questions will be answered further along in the story.  
So, uh... yeah. You better stay tuned ;)

Well, I hope you guys liked this chapter, if not, no hard feelings.  
Feel free to leave a review, always very much appreciated and they sure as hell keep me motivated.

Stay safe out there and till next time, my friends.  
Later!


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